New Life

[tito 1]

Maybe in your haste to deal with the poster instead of the message because you became tweaked about my comments regarding Russian mail order brides a while ago, you missed not only the message, but this: "Would be nice to get both parties perspective" And you obviously didn't pay much attention to my first contribution to this thread, either.

Good to know that a handful of posters constitutes "everybody" important. If a billion flies eat feces, does that mean it's good? Bon apetite! Thanks...but no thanks.

I could go on and on with a series of insults as well, but those don't do a lot of good for anyone, despite the page after page here.

Stick to the message.

Edited March 3, 2008 by tito

[mox 298]

Good to know that a handful of posters constitutes "everybody" important. If a billion flies eat feces, does that mean it's good? Bon apetite! Thanks...but no thanks.

Best...tito...analogy...ever.

Edited March 3, 2008 by mox

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle

[mox 298]

I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle

I can't help but feel like I just got looked at.

Tell ya what. I'll stand down. I'll give tito the opportunity to make good on what he insists he is trying to do, which is to use his personal and professional experience to contribute to the conversation. I (and others) only expect that he do exactly that...participate in a helpful and positive manner. Fair enough?

Whatever personal experience has led him to this point I don't wish on anyone. But it is worth noting that you can't help heal others until you are healed yourself.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I think it important to bear in mind that tito's personal experience may be spilling over into his professional judgment. With that thought, let's remain compassionate. He's experienced something that many people on here cannot begin to fathom. And it bring with it scars that apparently have yet to heal properly. Please folks ...be gentle

I can't help but feel like I just got looked at.

Tell ya what. I'll stand down. I'll give tito the opportunity to make good on what he insists he is trying to do, which is to use his personal and professional experience to contribute to the conversation. I (and others) only expect that he do exactly that...participate in a helpful and positive manner. Fair enough?

That's fair enough. It's OK to challenge someone's facts, especially if they appear to be very sweeping comments (which tito's are), but the general feeling I get from his posts is that he has not yet reached a point of peace over the matter.

But it is worth noting that you can't help heal others until you are healed yourself.

And, yes, that's true. From someone who knows only too well

[sj5 4]

well, at least tito is always here for entertainment.

so the rule for k1 visas is:

the foreign, female fiancee (only girls come to the US on a K1, because only male americans fall in love with their maid) comes to the US. she cannot read, write or speak and she lives in front of the stove. the USC files the AOS paperwork for her, but only if she cooks decent meals and if she gives head often enough. otherways he threatens her to not file for AOS for her. is that what happened to you and your maid, tito?

I cannot read or write either - glad it is not just me

how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.

Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???

is there another real test? I thought I'm done with real test.. then I will answer that real test.

Nope - there are real tests but the only way to pass them as a RANUSC is to try and get a negative score to prove your inferiority

Tito's posts went over muh head

guess my ####### detector must be broken today

No StP - it is because you are a RANUSC and therefore unable to comprehend anything that tito's superior mind can create

lmfao.. Of course I know what she means. I joke about it.

I give you one of the easy testing I get through!

The GOD tested me if I can through when he took my mother last 1991(Deceased)

I hated talking about problems.. its hurts me when I look back about TESTING jeeeeeeeeeeez go hunt it on your own.

Edited March 4, 2008 by SJ

[sj5 4]

how do I prepared my new life? (it depends who you're with) me and hubby get along very well its why we are married.

Thats true!!! The 'BIG' question is.... How many will falter when the real tests of life happen???

Then I will face that test.

[tito 1]

It's ironic that there is this swarming of ridicule in this context. So, glad you're all entertained, because there's not much of the true essence and substance that is being afforded appropriate dignity. But really - laugh all you want. In the real world, the joke is on some of you, sorry to say.

[tucson_chick 0]

It's ironic that there is this swarming of ridicule in this context. So, glad you're all entertained, because there's not much of the true essence and substance that is being afforded appropriate dignity. But really - laugh all you want. In the real world, the joke is on some of you, sorry to say.

tito, may i ask you one question?

what are you doing here in this community? is it your mission to spread your opinion about K1 visas and the foreign spouses into the world?

well, because if this is the reason you are here, i don't think it does any good for you. you only become more bitter to see other people happy (90%) and then those whose marriages and relationships fail (10%). these 10% are fuel in your fire.

it is never good to be bitter about love.

[mnieto 2]

Just read too many threads talking about - got the visa - just married - isn't working out - can we get a divorce??.... I am going for my interview in a few days (not that all those threads bother me).. just make me wonder if all of us really understand the change that we will go through, the adjustments that we will need to make... How do we prepare ourselves and how much is too little or too much preparation??

We = USC and SO

Would be nice to get both parties perspective

All of us immigrants will have to make huge adjustments, that's for sure. And the only way to prepare ourselves is to keep our immense expectations realistic and in perspective. Like everything else, everything will be exciting and new in the beginning, but once reality settles in we'll have to make sure to remember what we came for...which was for a loved one.

My fiance and I talk a lot about how we imagine our life together, what our life should look like, what we like and dislike...we try not to leave each other in the dark regarding mutual expectations.

I have been to the US many times and think that I have a pretty good idea about what the lifestyle and people are like. But as a matter of fact, often times I get totally overwhelmed there by things which seem strange or odd to me. That's when I start feeling like a stranger and a real alien (BTW, that's one of the funny little things -that the US uses the same term for somebody who's not from America and somebody who's from Mars...)

Ehm....anyways....

It is crucially important to talk to each other. It's important in regular relationships where both people share the same background, and even more in relationships where sometimes worlds collide. That's the reason why I think people should try to get to know each other as well as possible, before the immigrant makes this huge leap and comes to the US.

I'm determined to adjust myself as much as I can to the country I'm immigrating to. Not only because of the man I love, but also out of respect for the people of that country.

I guess that's a good basis to start from, once the immigrant walks off that plane at the Port of Entry (to put it in a pathetic way.... B) )

I know that my fiance and I are very different in many ways because of different backgrounds, language issues, attitudes, ........ a lot of understanding and mutual support is crucially important in any relationship, but even more in this kind of relationship or marriage.

Edited March 5, 2008 by mnieto

[tito 1]

"what are you doing here in this community? is it your mission to spread your opinion about K1 visas and the foreign spouses into the world?

well, because if this is the reason you are here, i don't think it does any good for you. you only become more bitter to see other people happy (90%) and then those whose marriages and relationships fail (10%). these 10% are fuel in your fire.

it is never good to be bitter about love."

Might I ask what so many doe-eyed, brightly optimistic persons not unlike yourself are doing here! That was my question to one other poster who keeps pointing to this illusory agenda. I have professional experience that I am sharing in instances where that experience bears a direct relationship to the circumstances. I dare say that many, many others not unlike yourself are lost in the 'warm-fuzzies' of wishes and hopes, buying into all of these repeated claims of abuse, threats, controlling spouses, and on and on the threads go, without contemplating another VERY important aspect...the other side of the story!

There's no bitterness...there is the reality I see in my practice on a daily basis that bears a very striking relationship to the stories in these threads. If everything is so perfect...why would anyone in their right mind be cruising these threads that are replete with examples of failed relationships, divorce, claims of violence and abuse, threatened spouses, and the like? That is the better question.

If 90% of the relationships are happy ones, THAT'S GREAT!!! But...really...of the many threads in this particular forum, there aren't many success stories! Or perhaps that fact might have escaped you. My observations deal with the 10% that fail, which seem to compromise 99% of the threads in this particular forum! There's no fire, there are observations I am sharing. It's never good to look into Pandora's Box, either, especially when there's nothing in it for you.

Edited March 6, 2008 by tito

[Jeraly 4]

[tito 1]

Back on topic indeed! There are a number of posts on this thread that are nothing more than distortions and legitimate ideas put forth that some posters take out of context and use to levy a personal attack, and now those who pushed the non-issues to the furthest extremes of what is salient to the issue at hand want to pull in their reins. That's great! Perhaps your road show ought to be brought elsewhere...

[Mags 112]

I have professional experience that I am sharing in instances where that experience bears a direct relationship to the circumstances.

So, are you here on VJ to share your professional opinion as lawyer? Just curious.

But...really...of the many threads in this particular forum, there aren't many success stories!

That because the nature of THIS particular forum is to help out people who have had failed relationships and give them help and support. You aren't going to find any happy stories here, I thought you realised that.

[mox 298]

Back on topic indeed! There are a number of posts on this thread that are nothing more than distortions and legitimate ideas put forth that some posters take out of context and use to levy a personal attack, and now those who pushed the non-issues to the furthest extremes of what is salient to the issue at hand want to pull in their reins. That's great! Perhaps your road show ought to be brought elsewhere...

Oh tito, self flagulation will get you nowhere with this crowd. But I for one appreciate the effort.