Why can't we all just get along?

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

I haven't been on this site for very long and I have find most of the information very useful and have met some really nice, helpful people HOWEVER, in reading posts and some individuals replies, I feel the need to vent a little frustration.

Everyone here is basically in the same boat; confused, worried and scared. As a result, questions are sometimes posted to the board in a vague manner without full details of events that may have transpired. In searching for answers or guidance I have come across some really sarcastic, nasty, assuming and accusatory responses to people's queries (yes, I have had it done to me also which is why - until this post - I have refrained from posing anymore questions to the board). This site is intended to help, support and encourage each other during these times.

No one person here; that I know of, is an expert in Immigration Law and even a lawyer themselves will tell you that they don't pretend to know everything. So, before you put your hot little fingers on the keyboard, please remember that when a person is hurting and scared, the last thing they want or need is a slap in the face! Keep your answers directed to the question at hand and if you need further information from the member in order to understand clearly what question they are posing, ask for it specifically without the harshness. Spelling things out with "hypens" between the letters is just cruel and uncalled for. Jumping to conclusions on someone's motives for being here is not your place unless you have walked a mile in their shoes and know, step by step, what happened along that path.

Remember, it is not your place to assume.... how would you feel if it were the IO that was making negative assumptions about your case without fact or without giving you the opportunity to clarify and provide further evidence?

Think about it......

[Nessa 23]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

[Jasman0717 9]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

Well put

[Jack and Barbara 0]

Frustrated,

What kind of replies are you referencing? I agree that a lot of times you have to suck up what other people write in a public forum because people are entitled to give their opinions. However, even public forums have limits, same thing on the streets. You can't go along cursing others out just because it's a public space so why should here be the same?

Guess it all comes down to what was said or not...

[Jack and Barbara 0]

Frustrated,

What kind of replies are you referencing? I agree that a lot of times you have to suck up what other people write in a public forum because people are entitled to give their opinions. However, even public forums have limits, same thing on the streets. You can't go along cursing others out just because it's a public space so why should here be the same?

Guess it all comes down to what was said or not...

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I'm with Nessa on this one. Public forums are filled with, ahhh, public opinion. You are going to find debate and rib poking just the same as in any place where people of differing backgrounds come together for discussion. We can only support others opinions or make and defend our own. VJ would be nothing if all it were was a place lacking emotion (positive and negative). The way it is is the reason we all come back the next day.

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

I'm with Nessa on this one. Public forums are filled with, ahhh, public opinion. You are going to find debate and rib poking just the same as in any place where people of differing backgrounds come together for discussion. We can only support others opinions or make and defend our own. VJ would be nothing if all it were was a place lacking emotion (positive and negative). The way it is is the reason we all come back the next day.

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

I have read through all of the responses above and I agree... it is a public forum. However... people post on here looking for opinion on their specific issue(s) relating to the immigration process... not to have an opinion or accusation posted about their "intentions". These are the assumptions that I am speaking to.

Oft, you will see people immediately starting their post asking others not to offer their opinion on their personal situation but just to respond to their question at hand. This tells me that others are also seeing what I am seeing.

Moreover, "s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g" (yes, I have seen a reply like this) things out to someone is demeaning and unnecessary.

I personally don't believe that I, or anyone else for that matter, should be placed in a situation (especially in a public forum that is supposed to offer insight and encouragement) where one feels that one has to "defend" themselves or their actions.

The reason for this post was to merely point out what is happening and courage others to "think" about what they are saying before saying it. Obviously, looking at the responses, I have accomplished just that by you all responding and I thank you for your opinons on this subject.

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

Frustrated,

What kind of replies are you referencing? I agree that a lot of times you have to suck up what other people write in a public forum because people are entitled to give their opinions. However, even public forums have limits, same thing on the streets. You can't go along cursing others out just because it's a public space so why should here be the same?

Guess it all comes down to what was said or not...

Thank you so much for your input. I read everyone's comments before posting and I completely agree... "even public forums have limits".

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

Well put

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps if a person posted an accusation towards your situation you would feel different? I do wish you all the best in your endeavor.

[*JG* 2]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

Well put

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps if a person posted an accusation towards your situation you would feel different? I do wish you all the best in your endeavor.

They have many times on here and on other web sites I have visited. There are stupid mean people everywhere. I do know how you feel.

That being said, as others have pointed out, this is a public forum and open to everyone to express their opinion. I would hope it would be expressed in an adult and constructive way; but, even words spewed without thinking of the consequences are sometimes helpful. I take everything posted with a grain of salt....if it's helpful it is and if it isn't, maybe it is helping someone else. I don't like personal attacks for the sake of just attacking someone. There are some on here, though, that take everything too personally. It's such a fine line sometimes.

Know that this site is helpful and you have to just pick and choose what is useful to your situation. Ignore what isn't.

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

True. But then, there are a couple of old adages "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." For many people, this may have been their first time on something like this which is intimidating in itself. Attacking someone or demeaning them on the board is only going to make them reluctant to post again.

Thank you for your comment. Good luck to you and yours.

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

OMG I totally need to take some time to think about that profound conclusion that you've reached.

Now seriously, it's a public forum. People are entitled to express their opinion. If you expect to post in a public forum for strangers to give you their input on the subject, you should be prepared to read their opinion, which won't necessarily coincide with what you want to hear.

Well put

I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps if a person posted an accusation towards your situation you would feel different? I do wish you all the best in your endeavor.

They have many times on here and on other web sites I have visited. There are stupid mean people everywhere. I do know how you feel.

That being said, as others have pointed out, this is a public forum and open to everyone to express their opinion. I would hope it would be expressed in an adult and constructive way; but, even words spewed without thinking of the consequences are sometimes helpful. I take everything posted with a grain of salt....if it's helpful it is and if it isn't, maybe it is helping someone else. I don't like personal attacks for the sake of just attacking someone. There are some on here, though, that take everything too personally. It's such a fine line sometimes.

Know that this site is helpful and you have to just pick and choose what is useful to your situation. Ignore what isn't.

That's wonderful advise. Many times I have stopped reading the thread because of someone's attitude (I just couldn't be bothered with the way that the subject was turning).

I love your wedding picture btw... I came across it over the weekend and showed it to my husband.

Thank you so much for your reply. Good luck to you!!!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Getting along is boring.

[Nessa 23]

I agree with what you said a couple posts above ''starting their post asking others not to offer their opinion on their personal situation but just to respond to their question at hand'' that you are not the only one who has noticed that.

Maybe you're still too new to this forum, but it's a constant thing: you ask for advice, people express their opinion, and some people will do that in a judgemental way.

[Frustrated2NoEnd 0]

Getting along is boring.

Bring on the drama huh? lol