this is for girls with an american fiance

[panamania79 2]

What often amuses (and frustrates) me in this process on a personal level is when people -- family, friends and even strangers -- say uninformed things such as "why couldn't you find an American guy/girl to marry?" or "what's wrong with marrying American?"

To them, I answer: nothing is "wrong" with marrying an American and I never went looking for someone in a foreign country. I think we can all agree that our lives would be much easier if our significant others were from our own nation. We fell in love with other individuals from foreign countries for a multitude of reasons, very few of which include the often mentioned "American men/women suck" idea. If American men and women were so very awful, our partners would probably see very little in us, since most of us here on this board (and everyone petitioning their loved ones to live in the U.S.) is American!

So it's not that we "chose" to look elsewhere or that we have some sort of "aversion" to Americans of the opposite sex. We just found the person we want to be with living somewhere else. Their nationality has very little to do with it. I wish more people -- American or otherwise -- could see that clearly, but that's probably asking too much out of the average person.

Oh goodness gracious,I am soooooo sick and tired of constantly hearing that.Especially from my family.

CAN WE JUST STOP THIS RIDICULOUS TOPIC... THIS SITE IS MEANT TO BE A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE GO FOR HELP AND SUPPORT NOT TO SEE ANYONE BICKER OVER PERSONAL OPINIONS. I VOTE TO HAVE THIS TOPIC DROPPED ALREADY!!!

Is somebody forcing you to read it? You are free to skip over any threads which don't interest you.

How can one possibly miss it? It's like *POW*, in your face.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

I have been laughing so hard at the end of this thread....no caps lock...

And that's what we need...to be able to laugh and vent...it make the absurdities and frustrations of life easier to handle!!!

[Rail 0]

Yes, I agree with what you said. I am an American man, and I have a foreign fiancee and we are doing the K-1 visa. I know she feels uncomfortable that people think of her as a gold digger, and that she's using me to come to the US, which couldn't be any further from the truth. Nobody has, or will in the future, disrespect her in front of me, because they know how I'll react, but I know they talk behind our backs.

American women don't like foreign women actually treating a man with respect and being good wives. They put tgem down for it. They don't want men to know what it's like to have an respectful wife. They want to be able to control men and be bitches and have all the power. Pay not attention to it, they're just angry and jealous that an American man would choose a foreigner over them.

I totally agree. The women in the U.S. are power hungry. A U.S. man matches up perfectly with a foreighn woman. They have been raised to compement each other.

[Rail 0]

Yes, I agree with what you said. I am an American man, and I have a foreign fiancee and we are doing the K-1 visa. I know she feels uncomfortable that people think of her as a gold digger, and that she's using me to come to the US, which couldn't be any further from the truth. Nobody has, or will in the future, disrespect her in front of me, because they know how I'll react, but I know they talk behind our backs.

American women don't like foreign women actually treating a man with respect and being good wives. They put tgem down for it. They don't want men to know what it's like to have an respectful wife. They want to be able to control men and be bitches and have all the power. Pay not attention to it, they're just angry and jealous that an American man would choose a foreigner over them.

I totally agree. The women in the U.S. are power hungry. A U.S. man matches up perfectly with a foreighn woman. They have been raised to compement each other.

Sorry I meant COMPLIMENT.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Actually, you mean complement. Although it's perfectly possible for you to pay compliments to each other, too.

I find it very sad that you should actually believe what you've written; I may not be American but I know some lovely American women. Are your mothers, sisters and daughters also all power-hungry and control bitches or are they mysteriously exempt?

Back on topic:

What often amuses (and frustrates) me in this process on a personal level is when people -- family, friends and even strangers -- say uninformed things such as "why couldn't you find an American guy/girl to marry?" or "what's wrong with marrying American?"

To them, I answer: nothing is "wrong" with marrying an American and I never went looking for someone in a foreign country. I think we can all agree that our lives would be much easier if our significant others were from our own nation. We fell in love with other individuals from foreign countries for a multitude of reasons, very few of which include the often mentioned "American men/women suck" idea. If American men and women were so very awful, our partners would probably see very little in us, since most of us here on this board (and everyone petitioning their loved ones to live in the U.S.) is American!

So it's not that we "chose" to look elsewhere or that we have some sort of "aversion" to Americans of the opposite sex. We just found the person we want to be with living somewhere else. Their nationality has very little to do with it. I wish more people -- American or otherwise -- could see that clearly, but that's probably asking too much out of the average person.

The 'why can't you get someone in your own city/country' one irritates me because there's a hidden implication in the comment that, hey, aren't you good enough to catch a local? I've never had any problems finding a boyfriend locally; it's simply that now I have Alex, I can't think of anyone that'd be better for me, and I'd be a fool to give him up despite the hard work it may take to get us together!

Oh - and I dearly love my housemate, but she can be a little insensitive sometimes. She lives two hours away from her boyfriend and sees him nearly once a week, but she'll say things like 'I hardly ever get to see him!' or 'it's so hard maintaining a long distance relationship!' Um, thanks for the vote of confidence, there.

[bora bora 1]

Actually, you mean complement. Although it's perfectly possible for you to pay compliments to each other, too.

I find it very sad that you should actually believe what you've written; I may not be American but I know some lovely American women. Are your mothers, sisters and daughters also all power-hungry and control bitches or are they mysteriously exempt?

Back on topic:

Thank God you said this....I've been thinking this all along.

I'm a USC woman and was not looking for a non-USC man - that's just what happened. I have NOTHING against American men (except my dad hahaha), it just turned out I fell in love with a Brazilian. My sister married a great American guy - my mother is very happy with BOTH of our husbands.

Edited February 29, 2008 by bora bora

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

I totally agree. The women in the U.S. are power hungry. A U.S. man matches up perfectly with a foreighn woman. They have been raised to compement each other.

so if american women are power hungry, and american men are perfectly matched with foreign women (who i am assuming you consider to be submissive), are they perfectly matched because american men are also power hungry and they go nicely with submissive foreign women??? do american men mismatch with american woman because both of them are power hungry???

lets further that thought...so if both american women and men are power hungry, then how is it possible for american women and foreign men to be in successful couples? is your thinking that all americans are power hungry and that all people from other countries are submissive??? because that just does not make sense

yea, i study philosophy, so if youre having trouble following that, id be happy to elaborate

basically youre just talking a bunch of nonsense. a relationship is not about power, and if it is then that relationship is an unhealthy one, regardless of what country the couple is from. but dont tell my fiance, ive got him fooled into thinking that we are in an equal partnership, when in reality i have him under mind control.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

lets further that thought...so if both american women and men are power hungry, then how is it possible for american women and foreign men to be in successful couples? is your thinking that all americans are power hungry and that all people from other countries are submissive??? because that just does not make sense

The fact is that American men are very power hungry (large house, fast car, high position, etc). That's why the divorce rate is so high here, because men and women both want to be the dominant one, so it doesn't often work out. Many American women must always be right and have the last word. They often want to make most of the decisions. Yes, many foreign women are more submissive, and that appeals to American men. That doesn't mean that they are doormats or slaves, but they are raised in a more traditional way. I'm sure somebody will give the "We're equals..." rhetoric, but that only exists in theory.

I read a statistic about Latinos and Americans marriages. I'm not implying this applies to other cultures, strictly Latinos and Americans. The divorce rate for American women & Latino men is like 80% while American men and Latina women are only 20%. Latinos are a very machismo culture. The men are dominant and consider themselves the head of the household when it comes to decisions, finances, etc. Many American women who marry Latinos just can't accept that. And Latino men will not put up with them either. Conversely, Latina women are more submissive by nature, so they are a better match for the typical power-hungry American man.

Not all Americans are power-hungry and not all foreigners are submissive. That's why there are successful relationships with foreigners for both men and women.

Edited February 29, 2008 by kid brooklyn

[Alex+R 0]

lets further that thought...so if both american women and men are power hungry, then how is it possible for american women and foreign men to be in successful couples? is your thinking that all americans are power hungry and that all people from other countries are submissive??? because that just does not make sense

The fact is that American men are very power hungry (large house, fast car, high position, etc). That's why the divorce rate is so high here, because men and women both want to be the dominant one, so it doesn't often work out. Many American women must always be right and have the last word. They often want to make most of the decisions. Yes, many foreign women are more submissive, and that appeals to American men. That doesn't mean that they are doormats or slaves, but they are raised in a more traditional way. I'm sure somebody will give the "We're equals..." rhetoric, but that only exists in theory.

I read a statistic about Latinos and Americans marriages. I'm not implying this applies to other cultures, strictly Latinos and Americans. The divorce rate for American women & Latino men is like 80% while American men and Latina women are only 20%. Latinos are a very machismo culture. The men are dominant and consider themselves the head of the household when it comes to decisions, finances, etc. Many American women who marry Latinos just can't accept that. And Latino men will not put up with them either. Conversely, Latina women are more submissive by nature, so they are a better match for the typical power-hungry American man.

LOL. Gird your loins, you're about to get what you deserve if the right people happen to be online.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

LOL. Gird your loins, you're about to get what you deserve if the right people happen to be online.

Good. I have plenty more to say about this.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Alex - your marriage with a Latino man is clearly doomed! Run for the hills!

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

The fact is that American men are very power hungry (large house, fast car, high position, etc).

you can make generalizations, great, we already got that.

That's why the divorce rate is so high here, because men and women both want to be the dominant one, so it doesn't often work out. Many American women must always be right and have the last word. They often want to make most of the decisions.

Oh yes, it's clearly women's fault. We argue our views so divorce rate is high. I see your logic.

Yes, many foreign women are more submissive, and that appeals to American men. That doesn't mean that they are doormats or slaves, but they are raised in a more traditional way. I'm sure somebody will give the "We're equals..." rhetoric, but that only exists in theory.

I don't think anyone says that women and men are exactly equal. We are not the same, but that doesnt mean that one person should dominate the relationship EITHER WAY...its a give and take. How does your fiance / wife feel about what youre saying? I feel bad for her if the reason you are with her is because she is submissive and because she is not american.

I read a statistic about Latinos and Americans marriages. I'm not implying this applies to other cultures, strictly Latinos and Americans. The divorce rate for American women & Latino men is like 80% while American men and Latina women are only 20%. Latinos are a very machismo culture.

And do you honestly think that american culture is any different??? do you think american society is equal for men and women??? youre views are seriously skewed and you better get some new glasses if thats what youre seeing.

The men are dominant and consider themselves the head of the household when it comes to decisions, finances, etc. Many American women who marry Latinos just can't accept that. And Latino men will not put up with them either.

they wont 'put up with it?' wow.

Conversely, Latina women are more submissive by nature, so they are a better match for the typical power-hungry American man.

gimme a break.

Not all Americans are power-hungry and not all foreigners are submissive.

You just SAID that american men and women are power hungry and both want to be the dominant one...please refer to sentence number 2 of your nonsense analyses of divorce in america.

That's why there are successful relationships with foreigners for both men and women.

why, exactly???

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

one more thing kid brooklyn -- please define submissive for me if you think that a submissive woman is not a doormat or slave...im curious to know how you define the term to mean something positive.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

one more thing kid brooklyn -- please define submissive for me if you think that a submissive woman is not a doormat or slave...im curious to know how you define the term to mean something positive.

Somebody who doesn't always have to be in charge, have the last word, or always be right. I'm assuming that's probably the exact opposite of your personality.

As an American woman, you won't allow yourself to understand my explanation in my previous post simply because it does not match your point of view, so it must be wrong.

Btw, my girlfriend says she appreciates your concern.

Edited February 29, 2008 by kid brooklyn

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

one more thing kid brooklyn -- please define submissive for me if you think that a submissive woman is not a doormat or slave...im curious to know how you define the term to mean something positive.

Somebody who doesn't always have to be in charge, have the last word, or always be right.

That sounds more like compromise to me - something both women AND men should strive for in marriage, American or not