this is for girls with an american fiance

[Sinergy 3]

American women don't like foreign women actually treating a man with respect and being good wives. They put tgem down for it. They don't want men to know what it's like to have an respectful wife. They want to be able to control men and be bitches and have all the power. Pay not attention to it, they're just angry and jealous that an American man would choose a foreigner over them.

you need to watch what you say there kid brooklyn...

maybe in your personal experience, american women have been one way or another, but remember that were not just foreign women on this site..............

dont mind me, im just a ####### who wants to control my fiance...................

maybe thats why my romanian husband married me, im a controling crazy b**ch

some men find that attractive!!!

[B'sA 0]

Please, don't think i'm a hater. I've got american friends, i was just trying too loose some pressure around some facts i really dislike.

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Please, don't think i'm a hater. I've got american friends, i was just trying too loose some pressure around some facts i really dislike.

you are not the hater here by any means...you were simply stating your frustrations with stupid people...we all have experienced this form of backlash in one form or another...we are all marrying foreigners here!!!!

the problem begins, when people like kid brooklyn want to take these frustrations and blame it on an entire population, when some of us are in the same situation as him!!!! how are we to weather such ignorant comments, such as the ones that you have mentioned, if we cannot do it together? we are all part of the same community here, and his comments are generalizations, that are simply not true...gimme a break.

[HiTech 0]

Who does it hurt the most? The person moving to the USA, or the person living in the USA.

I like anyone her has heard the statements, "She is just coming to live in the USA". It grates on me because it implies that I am so stupid, that I would not see some one using me for that purpose. It is an insult to my fiancee because it implies she would marry some one just to move to the USA. Both assumptions show a complete disrespect ,lack of knowledge and an overwhelming arrogance.

One way I have been considering dealing with these statements is snappy come backs.

Note, these are only intended to be said to the offending party, they do not express my view.

"She is just coming to live in the USA", well she was until I told her about you, after that she decided to stay home because Americans can be rued.

"Why did you not marry an american" Because I could not find the quality in the local herd.

Because I happen to like Beautiful women.

Because I purchased some glasses , and saw what the were really like.

Because I gave up bitches for lent.

Because I could not afford the future divorce.

Because I have good taste in women.

"She will leave you as soon as she gets a green card" I worry about that also, I worry that after 2 years in America she will have become fat, lazy stupid,rude and divorced just like every other woman in the USA. Because I am fairly sure that was her goal in moving here.

"How much do they cost" About $50k more than an American version.

Oh did I mention my K-1 was mailed today?

HiTech

Edited February 27, 2008 by HiTech

[BlakeandOlha 0]

"How much do they cost" About $50k more than an American version.

Oh did I mention my K-1 was mailed today?

HiTech

OK, I don't want to see a valuable thread go into "Bash American Women" and then "Bash the Basher" mode. I saw one from about 6 months ago that went on for 40 pages - a fun read but ultimately pointless. I have dated American women all my life, and I love them. I don't have any complaints and I don't need to find happiness in a foreign country because I can't find happiness here. The simple fact is that I am in love with a woman - who happens to live in another country. Its about love, right? Why should any other justification be needed.

I know full well there are opinionated and biased people here that the idea that any man who would find a foreign bride would be desperate, lonely, and unable to find a partner here. There are just as many prejudiced people that think a foreign bride is interested in a USC because its a ticket to a better life. With a fiancee from the Ukraine, I get this. I also have the freedom not to associate with those people. Moreover, when I talk to people about her, and how happy I am to have found her, I don't include in the conversation stereotypes about American women. I also don't light matches in a room full of gunpowder.

The simple fact is that the sacrifices required of the person marrying the USC are extreme - distance from family & friends, new culture and social expectations, (for many) a new language. Moreover, most people really don't know what a long and tortuous process this is - why anyone would go through this just because they can't hook up with an American woman is beyond me. I think if the USC takes the time to explain these things to the critical people out there, and say, in spite of all that she loves me enough to make the journey - then perhaps she will be received with the admiration she deserves. Or at least it might shut them up long enough for them to see you two together and form a more honest opinion. In spite of the fact that I was a soviet studies major in college, and had been interested in slavic history and culture my entire adult life, even my family (Dad) in particular was somewhat hesitant at first. Rather than go into some diatribe against American women, or turn my back on him, I took the time to patiently discuss the reality of our feelings for one another - now he is a wonderful means of support during this long waiting process.

I am interested in what experiences women coming to this country have had. So I hope we can stay on task with this thread.

[HiTech 0]

BlakeandOlha: I agree with your thoughts, And with thinking people I agree with your method. And I am not an American woman hater, but I have been asked these questions by the women who are the American stereo type.

My thoughts are not about bashing American women, but how to deal with the rued people.

HiTech

[BlakeandOlha 0]

BlakeandOlha: I agree with your thoughts, And with thinking people I agree with your method. And I am not an American woman hater, but I have been asked these questions by the women who are the American stereo type.

My thoughts are not about bashing American women, but how to deal with the rued people.

HiTech

Gotcha. I tend to think that a direct logical approach that makes them see their own opinions are those of a jacka$$ will do more to shut them up over the long haul. Although there would be a certain satisfaction in seeing thier faces turn red right before they explode.

[calamitka 0]

Although this is K1 forum "she, he is only after GC" words are as well dedicated often to foreign spouses. Well being wife of an American man I have never suffered more than now BECAUSE of this damn GC.

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Although this is K1 forum "she, he is only after GC" words are as well dedicated often to foreign spouses. Well being wife of an American man I have never suffered more than now BECAUSE of this damn GC.

Please elaborate....

[panamania79 2]

American women don't like foreign women actually treating a man with respect and being good wives. They put tgem down for it. They don't want men to know what it's like to have an respectful wife. They want to be able to control men and be bitches and have all the power. Pay not attention to it, they're just angry and jealous that an American man would choose a foreigner over them.

you need to watch what you say there kid brooklyn...

maybe in your personal experience, american women have been one way or another, but remember that were not just foreign women on this site..............

dont mind me, im just a ####### who wants to control my fiance...................

maybe thats why my romanian husband married me, im a controling crazy b**ch

some men find that attractive!!!

Romanian men are SO HOT,and classy too.

[dbears 1]

I don't have any complaints and I don't need to find happiness in a foreign country because I can't find happiness here. The simple fact is that I am in love with a woman - who happens to live in another country. Its about love, right? Why should any other justification be needed.

I love this part.. this is exactly what i have been emphasizing with my fiance before i accepted his proposal. I asked him countless time if he really intends to be with a filipina because if it is the case we better part ways so he could find his ideal filipina (the stereotype filipina with dark brown skin, long black hair, really petite types-- i don't qualify as a stereotype filipina by the way).

i chose him not because he is an american. I chose him because I feel inlove with his eyes and we share the same faith and he makes me laugh and we are both just loonies. For me he is simply Ricky, the man I want to love and spend the rest of my life with no matter where in the world it will be. And so, I told him I don't want to hear him introduce me as a filipina but as somebody he loves without reference to my race. I am just a woman, who happens to be born and raised in the Philippines. I told him I want him to love and accept me as UNIQUELY ME not because I am a filipina in the same way that I am loving him and accepting him for who he really is. I am proud to be a filipina, i am proud of my heritage but to emphasize that part is just wrong. I told him, if he keeps on looking for a filipina he is setting himself up for failure.

he has been divorced 3times and i made him realize that it was not entirely his american ex-wives fault... unless he learns to accept the fact that he had contributed to the failure of those marriages, it doesn't matter what race he chose to marry next, he'd still meet the same failure because it is not the race of your partner that matters in marriage but the 2 individuals involved who truly determines marriage success or failure.

[calamitka 0]

Oh I mean suffer from being separated from my husband because this immigrant processes. Ironically people who telling things like "only after GC" don't understand how difficult is for both go trough this all procedures. Only very dedicated people can stand this.

Sorry I'm really frustrated recently.

While living in USA I got once from my hubby(we married since 2005) aunt such statement that I'm only after GC because my excuse (I don't have time for preparing church wedding because I'm busy studing) is weak( all girls want white dress....kind of stuff)

We laughed with hubby like crazy

Two years latter I returnd to Poland and prepared The Wedding in the castle, she was invited.

Little, silly story about someone with closed mind but what important WE didn't care at all,we laughed.

[msu17 0]

That is very beautifully put. I feel the exact same way, we are just 2 people who happened to meet and fall in love. Not because "all women are b**ches" or because all men are "lazy jerks". That's the same as saying all foreign spouses are after a GC. Your fiance is a very lucky man!!!

On another note, something I find funny is when people ask you about your SO and you tell them they live in a different country. Then they get this weird look on their face and say "I could NEVER do something like that, I couldnt be away from my SO for that long!" I so wish I could say "then you must not love them as much I love my SO, because I am either with him long distance or I don't have him in my life and that's not much of a choice!"

I don't have any complaints and I don't need to find happiness in a foreign country because I can't find happiness here. The simple fact is that I am in love with a woman - who happens to live in another country. Its about love, right? Why should any other justification be needed.

I love this part.. this is exactly what i have been emphasizing with my fiance before i accepted his proposal. I asked him countless time if he really intends to be with a filipina because if it is the case we better part ways so he could find his ideal filipina (the stereotype filipina with dark brown skin, long black hair, really petite types-- i don't qualify as a stereotype filipina by the way).

i chose him not because he is an american. I chose him because I feel inlove with his eyes and we share the same faith and he makes me laugh and we are both just loonies. For me he is simply Ricky, the man I want to love and spend the rest of my life with no matter where in the world it will be. And so, I told him I don't want to hear him introduce me as a filipina but as somebody he loves without reference to my race. I am just a woman, who happens to be born and raised in the Philippines. I told him I want him to love and accept me as UNIQUELY ME not because I am a filipina in the same way that I am loving him and accepting him for who he really is. I am proud to be a filipina, i am proud of my heritage but to emphasize that part is just wrong. I told him, if he keeps on looking for a filipina he is setting himself up for failure.

he has been divorced 3times and i made him realize that it was not entirely his american ex-wives fault... unless he learns to accept the fact that he had contributed to the failure of those marriages, it doesn't matter what race he chose to marry next, he'd still meet the same failure because it is not the race of your partner that matters in marriage but the 2 individuals involved who truly determines marriage success or failure.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

American women don't like foreign women actually treating a man with respect and being good wives. They put tgem down for it. They don't want men to know what it's like to have an respectful wife. They want to be able to control men and be bitches and have all the power. Pay not attention to it, they're just angry and jealous that an American man would choose a foreigner over them.

you need to watch what you say there kid brooklyn...

maybe in your personal experience, american women have been one way or another, but remember that were not just foreign women on this site..............

dont mind me, im just a ####### who wants to control my fiance...................

maybe thats why my romanian husband married me, im a controling crazy b**ch

some men find that attractive!!!

First of all, Kid Brooklyn, your type is the reason I gave up on American men...I found a polite, caring gentleman...in England...one that didn't care that I had a career, or my own opinions, that accepted and respected me for the way I am, sometimes silly, sometimes intense, never a doormat, but completely and totally in love with him...

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

That is very beautifully put. I feel the exact same way, we are just 2 people who happened to meet and fall in love. Not because "all women are b**ches" or because all men are "lazy jerks". That's the same as saying all foreign spouses are after a GC. Your fiance is a very lucky man!!!

On another note, something I find funny is when people ask you about your SO and you tell them they live in a different country. Then they get this weird look on their face and say "I could NEVER do something like that, I couldnt be away from my SO for that long!" I so wish I could say "then you must not love them as much I love my SO, because I am either with him long distance or I don't have him in my life and that's not much of a choice!"

I don't have any complaints and I don't need to find happiness in a foreign country because I can't find happiness here. The simple fact is that I am in love with a woman - who happens to live in another country. Its about love, right? Why should any other justification be needed.

I love this part.. this is exactly what i have been emphasizing with my fiance before i accepted his proposal. I asked him countless time if he really intends to be with a filipina because if it is the case we better part ways so he could find his ideal filipina (the stereotype filipina with dark brown skin, long black hair, really petite types-- i don't qualify as a stereotype filipina by the way).

i chose him not because he is an american. I chose him because I feel inlove with his eyes and we share the same faith and he makes me laugh and we are both just loonies. For me he is simply Ricky, the man I want to love and spend the rest of my life with no matter where in the world it will be. And so, I told him I don't want to hear him introduce me as a filipina but as somebody he loves without reference to my race. I am just a woman, who happens to be born and raised in the Philippines. I told him I want him to love and accept me as UNIQUELY ME not because I am a filipina in the same way that I am loving him and accepting him for who he really is. I am proud to be a filipina, i am proud of my heritage but to emphasize that part is just wrong. I told him, if he keeps on looking for a filipina he is setting himself up for failure.

he has been divorced 3times and i made him realize that it was not entirely his american ex-wives fault... unless he learns to accept the fact that he had contributed to the failure of those marriages, it doesn't matter what race he chose to marry next, he'd still meet the same failure because it is not the race of your partner that matters in marriage but the 2 individuals involved who truly determines marriage success or failure.

That is exactly my thoughts!!! You are both speaking the truth!!!