this is for girls with an american fiance

[BlakeandOlha 0]

You are talking physical size and that has little to do with it. I am talking about mental strength here. There are certain decisions that when they arise the husband needs to be able to make a decision on without the wifes interference. Read about this little guy and then tell me if you have ever known of a woman to be that strong, and I am talking mentally not physically because a woman could do the physical part. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audie_Murphy

Sorry Rail, you'll have to do better than that. Of course if there are any German pillboxes to charge, I'm sure your wife will be more than happy to let you do it. Does that make her decision wrong, or more intelligent. There's the old joke about the guy who comes to a man and asks who makes all the important decisions - of course the man says "I do." So the guy asks "who decides where you go on vcation?" The man says "My wife.", The guy then asks "who takes care of the family budget?" and the man says "well, my wife does that." The guy then asks "who finds the doctors and makes the appointments for the family's health care?" The man answers again "My wife does that." Again and again the guy asks the man about everyday decision making and the man keeps responding that his wife did those things. Finally the guy asks "Well what do you decide on?" And the man answers "I make the big decisions on world peace and alien life."

Simply put, if you think that there are some decisions that only a man can make without his wife's interference, your decisions are probably not relevant to your family. Even in the most "traditional" of cultures where machismo reigns, woe to the man that tries to decide for the wife on the decisions of the family. If you believe those decision you leave to your wife are secondary to the "big" decisions you reserve for yourself, you're in for a rude awakening. The man that does not respect the intelligence and contribution of his wife enough to include her in all family decisions is going to find himself living in a pretty boring house, with a pretty boring life, and a very boring bedroom. Why waste the time and money of marrying and living with someone if you do not want them to have an equal stake in the family. Get a maid, or a nanny, or a hooker - then you can make all the big decisions yourself, because you'll be alone. Women do not have to put up with that ####### anymore, and they don't. Just a word to the wise.

Oh by the way - Audie Murphey never adjusted to his life after the war and the attention he received. Aside from some movie roles (one good movie and many bad cowboy flicks), he had problems with gambling, drinking, and maintaining stable relationships as well. A state of war is not a "normal" life for most people. It is in the daily battle with emotional intimacy and family life that Audie Murphy struggled - in spite of being the most decorated soldier ever to wear an American uniform. If Audie Murphy's story is your example of the man making the "big" decisions, then you are perhaps more like the man deciding on world peace and alien life than you suppose.

[panamania79 2]

Men are plenty emotional. They cry over sports results and punch holes in the wall when they're mad. Doesn't that count?

Even Spock got emotional sometimes! I forget the specific name for the mating ritual he was going through and the name of the episode itself, but he was pretty damn pumped. So if a Vulcan (okay, fine... half-Vulcan, feel better now?) can get that emotional, so can we humans.

I'll never forget the episode when he got squirted in the face by some flower and was smiling for a whole hour.

[Caladan 19]

Women don't have the mental strength to rush a machine gun? (Most men don't either, by the way, or else this guy wouldn't be a hero any more than you are for tying you shoes. And Murphy's "mental strength" led to him abusing drugs and his wife.) Even if it were true, is this a situation you expect to come up much in your marriage? Seriously, how does the hypothetical likelihood of a guy to be more likely to rush a machine gun make him the one best suited to run a household?

mawilson, you're not making a lot of sense. Equality in a marriage doesn't entail identity in every aspect. Just that the people's strengths, and not their sex organs, determine who does what.

[dbears 1]

You are talking physical size and that has little to do with it. I am talking about mental strength here. There are certain decisions that when they arise the husband needs to be able to make a decision on without the wifes interference. Read about this little guy and then tell me if you have ever known of a woman to be that strong, and I am talking mentally not physically because a woman could do the physical part. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audie_Murphy

Sorry Rail, you'll have to do better than that. Of course if there are any German pillboxes to charge, I'm sure your wife will be more than happy to let you do it. Does that make her decision wrong, or more intelligent. There's the old joke about the guy who comes to a man and asks who makes all the important decisions - of course the man says "I do." So the guy asks "who decides where you go on vcation?" The man says "My wife.", The guy then asks "who takes care of the family budget?" and the man says "well, my wife does that." The guy then asks "who finds the doctors and makes the appointments for the family's health care?" The man answers again "My wife does that." Again and again the guy asks the man about everyday decision making and the man keeps responding that his wife did those things. Finally the guy asks "Well what do you decide on?" And the man answers "I make the big decisions on world peace and alien life."

Simply put, if you think that there are some decisions that only a man can make without his wife's interference, your decisions are probably not relevant to your family. Even in the most "traditional" of cultures where machismo reigns, woe to the man that tries to decide for the wife on the decisions of the family. If you believe those decision you leave to your wife are secondary to the "big" decisions you reserve for yourself, you're in for a rude awakening. The man that does not respect the intelligence and contribution of his wife enough to include her in all family decisions is going to find himself living in a pretty boring house, with a pretty boring life, and a very boring bedroom. Why waste the time and money of marrying and living with someone if you do not want them to have an equal stake in the family. Get a maid, or a nanny, or a hooker - then you can make all the big decisions yourself, because you'll be alone. Women do not have to put up with that ####### anymore, and they don't. Just a word to the wise.

Oh by the way - Audie Murphey never adjusted to his life after the war and the attention he received. Aside from some movie roles (one good movie and many bad cowboy flicks), he had problems with gambling, drinking, and maintaining stable relationships as well. A state of war is not a "normal" life for most people. It is in the daily battle with emotional intimacy and family life that Audie Murphy struggled - in spite of being the most decorated soldier ever to wear an American uniform. If Audie Murphy's story is your example of the man making the "big" decisions, then you are perhaps more like the man deciding on world peace and alien life than you suppose.

BLAKE, you really are the MAN!!! At least you are a living proof that there are indeed sensible american men (including my honey of course). KUDOS to you!!!

To Rachel: You are right, nothing any woman (American or not) will say will make any difference to Rail or to any guy with the same line of thinking. Maybe this is the only place where he thought he could assert his "imagined" superiority over women. A very sad case in fact.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Women like to be treated equal only when it suits them.

If you want true equality, be ready to serve in the armed forces if the U.S. imposes a military draft. Be ready to serve in combat roles on the ground.

If you want true equality, don't expect men to lift heavy objects for you, fix your car, kill spiders and insects, make decisions about what to do on a date, pay for food and drinks, and protect you when you are attacked.

If you want equality and you decide (jointly with a man) to have sex and get pregnant, don't expect to have the right to kill your baby at any time or keep the baby and make us pay for it. If we're truly equal, you will need to get our permission for an abortion.

Sucks to be equal, eh?

I was wondering how long it would take for a frustrated rant like this to surface...

[mawilson 2,133]

mawilson, you're not making a lot of sense. Equality in a marriage doesn't entail identity in every aspect. Just that the people's strengths, and not their sex organs, determine who does what.

C, I wasn't talking about equality in a marriage, just "equality" in general.

I wouldn't presume to impose my views of equality in marriage on Rail or anyone else

for that matter. If Rail's wife is happy with him making all the important decisions,

I have no problem with that.

[Alex+R 0]

Women like to be treated equal only when it suits them.

If you want true equality, be ready to serve in the armed forces if the U.S. imposes a military draft. Be ready to serve in combat roles on the ground.

If you want true equality, don't expect men to lift heavy objects for you, fix your car, kill spiders and insects, make decisions about what to do on a date, pay for food and drinks, and protect you when you are attacked.

If you want equality and you decide (jointly with a man) to have sex and get pregnant, don't expect to have the right to kill your baby at any time or keep the baby and make us pay for it. If we're truly equal, you will need to get our permission for an abortion.

Sucks to be equal, eh?

I was wondering how long it would take for a frustrated rant like this to surface...

Y

Eeyup. Equality isn't the same as being exactly alike. But don't tell that to this guy. It's more fun being bitter and unpleasant, I suppose.

[Jenn! 918]

Ah sh!t, now I'm really confused. I thought that American women cornered the market on being bitter and unpleasant.

[Sinergy 3]

Ah sh!t, now I'm really confused. I thought that American women cornered the market on being bitter and unpleasant.

yes but then we became weak-minded lap dogs

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I feel I should come clean: I've been heavily influenced by Joyce, who is a self-described modern, liberated woman.

[Rail 0]

You are talking physical size and that has little to do with it. I am talking about mental strength here. There are certain decisions that when they arise the husband needs to be able to make a decision on without the wifes interference. Read about this little guy and then tell me if you have ever known of a woman to be that strong, and I am talking mentally not physically because a woman could do the physical part. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audie_Murphy

Sorry Rail, you'll have to do better than that. Of course if there are any German pillboxes to charge, I'm sure your wife will be more than happy to let you do it. Does that make her decision wrong, or more intelligent. There's the old joke about the guy who comes to a man and asks who makes all the important decisions - of course the man says "I do." So the guy asks "who decides where you go on vcation?" The man says "My wife.", The guy then asks "who takes care of the family budget?" and the man says "well, my wife does that." The guy then asks "who finds the doctors and makes the appointments for the family's health care?" The man answers again "My wife does that." Again and again the guy asks the man about everyday decision making and the man keeps responding that his wife did those things. Finally the guy asks "Well what do you decide on?" And the man answers "I make the big decisions on world peace and alien life."

Simply put, if you think that there are some decisions that only a man can make without his wife's interference, your decisions are probably not relevant to your family. Even in the most "traditional" of cultures where machismo reigns, woe to the man that tries to decide for the wife on the decisions of the family. If you believe those decision you leave to your wife are secondary to the "big" decisions you reserve for yourself, you're in for a rude awakening. The man that does not respect the intelligence and contribution of his wife enough to include her in all family decisions is going to find himself living in a pretty boring house, with a pretty boring life, and a very boring bedroom. Why waste the time and money of marrying and living with someone if you do not want them to have an equal stake in the family. Get a maid, or a nanny, or a hooker - then you can make all the big decisions yourself, because you'll be alone. Women do not have to put up with that ####### anymore, and they don't. Just a word to the wise.

Oh by the way - Audie Murphey never adjusted to his life after the war and the attention he received. Aside from some movie roles (one good movie and many bad cowboy flicks), he had problems with gambling, drinking, and maintaining stable relationships as well. A state of war is not a "normal" life for most people. It is in the daily battle with emotional intimacy and family life that Audie Murphy struggled - in spite of being the most decorated soldier ever to wear an American uniform. If Audie Murphy's story is your example of the man making the "big" decisions, then you are perhaps more like the man deciding on world peace and alien life than you suppose.

A body with 2 heads is a freak! The man that you refer to in your joke is what people call being ##### whipped. Are You? Sure sounds like it dude!

[Alex+R 0]

Wow, a guy who respects women is "#####-whipped," eh?

I've only ever heard that term used to describe a man with a domineering wife who does everything she says.

It's offensive anyway, but I guess I'm not sure why you're applying it to a guy who is describing a normal relationship.

What should we call your ideal relationship in that case?

[Rail 0]

mawilson, you're not making a lot of sense. Equality in a marriage doesn't entail identity in every aspect. Just that the people's strengths, and not their sex organs, determine who does what.

C, I wasn't talking about equality in a marriage, just "equality" in general.

I wouldn't presume to impose my views of equality in marriage on Rail or anyone else

for that matter. If Rail's wife is happy with him making all the important decisions,

I have no problem with that.

There you go. If I had to force her to be that way.......well, I wouldnt want that. I want her to be willing to step aside if the need arise by her on will.

[Alex+R 0]

mawilson, you're not making a lot of sense. Equality in a marriage doesn't entail identity in every aspect. Just that the people's strengths, and not their sex organs, determine who does what.

C, I wasn't talking about equality in a marriage, just "equality" in general.

I wouldn't presume to impose my views of equality in marriage on Rail or anyone else

for that matter. If Rail's wife is happy with him making all the important decisions,

I have no problem with that.

There you go. If I had to force her to be that way.......well, I wouldnt want that. I want her to be willing to step aside if the need arise by her on will.

Just out of curiosity, what would happen if she comes to the US, sees how much power other women have to run their own lives (if she makes friends outside your family or, I'm guessing, church) and decides she wants to make decisions, too? Will that kill the marriage?

[Rail 0]

Wow, a guy who respects women is "#####-whipped," eh?

I've only ever heard that term used to describe a man with a domineering wife who does everything she says.

It's offensive anyway, but I guess I'm not sure why you're applying it to a guy who is describing a normal relationship.

What should we call your ideal relationship in that case?

An I deal relationship would not be what was described in the joke. The funny part of the joke to me is, that is the way things have gotten turned around in this country and it started with womens LIB. It really is like the joke here with U.S. women. B)