this is for girls with an american fiance

[panamania79 2]

By the way, Rail, you haven't yet explained to me how I'm acting like a man.

Do you also feel that way about women in the workplace?

I dont mean to call you a man. I just find you to be too quick to judge and arguementative. I think there are times in a marriage when a man needs to take the bull by the horns and make major decisions when they arise but if the wife wants to do the same then you have problems. Tell me, do you not like a dominant man? A man that is there to protect and care for you but also wants to be able to make important decisions. I think there needs to be a head of the house so to say. That will be taken wrong too, I am sure. I have 4 sisters that were raised this way and they have had very few problems with their marriages and no divorces. My mother was married to my Dad for over 50 years. Gloria, my fiancee was raised with the same values as my mother. She has some of the same ideas of how a marriage should be as my mom did. She also has a very difficult life in Colombia but is a very happy person with a great outlook on life. I never had any problems with women that worked with me at the Railroad and they were some "MANLY" women believe me. I believe they were born with a #######.

Did you take a look-see ?

[Rail 0]

By the way, Rail, you haven't yet explained to me how I'm acting like a man.

Do you also feel that way about women in the workplace?

I dont mean to call you a man. I just find you to be too quick to judge and arguementative. I think there are times in a marriage when a man needs to take the bull by the horns and make major decisions when they arise but if the wife wants to do the same then you have problems. Tell me, do you not like a dominant man? A man that is there to protect and care for you but also wants to be able to make important decisions. I think there needs to be a head of the house so to say. That will be taken wrong too, I am sure. I have 4 sisters that were raised this way and they have had very few problems with their marriages and no divorces. My mother was married to my Dad for over 50 years. Gloria, my fiancee was raised with the same values as my mother. She has some of the same ideas of how a marriage should be as my mom did. She also has a very difficult life in Colombia but is a very happy person with a great outlook on life. I never had any problems with women that worked with me at the Railroad and they were some "MANLY" women believe me. I believe they were born with a #######.

I'm sure people can be happy in a situation where that is all they've known. Like women in Saudi Arabia -- many of them probably don't mind not being able to drive because they don't know anything else.

My parents have been married 25 years and they treat each other as equals. Everyone knows the relationships you see at home are destined to become the relationships you create in your own life unless you make a huge effort to change that (and usually people don't see need for it). I'm happy to recreate a balanced, equal relationship.

I would find it inappropriate for a friend, colleague, classmate or anyone else in the world to treat me as less valuable than a man, so why would I accept it in my relationship with my closest companion? I'd have to already feel unequal in general.

My husband said there's never been a time he wanted to make all the decisions. I wouldn't know what that kind of relationship would be like. I want someone to take care of me when I'm sick, I guess, but only if that's reciprocal. I don't like feeling weak or dependent in general. Most educated women who have been taught to have self-esteem don't.

We're both the head of our household, just as my parents are both the head of their household. You know, because they were born in the 1950s, so they have ideas about gender roles that are a lot more modern than yours.

She has more self esteem in her little finger than most have in their whole body. I sure dont want to make all the decisions. Did I say that?

By the way, Rail, you haven't yet explained to me how I'm acting like a man.

Do you also feel that way about women in the workplace?

I dont mean to call you a man. I just find you to be too quick to judge and arguementative. I think there are times in a marriage when a man needs to take the bull by the horns and make major decisions when they arise but if the wife wants to do the same then you have problems. Tell me, do you not like a dominant man? A man that is there to protect and care for you but also wants to be able to make important decisions. I think there needs to be a head of the house so to say. That will be taken wrong too, I am sure. I have 4 sisters that were raised this way and they have had very few problems with their marriages and no divorces. My mother was married to my Dad for over 50 years. Gloria, my fiancee was raised with the same values as my mother. She has some of the same ideas of how a marriage should be as my mom did. She also has a very difficult life in Colombia but is a very happy person with a great outlook on life. I never had any problems with women that worked with me at the Railroad and they were some "MANLY" women believe me. I believe they were born with a #######.

No, then I would have had a problem.

Did you take a look-see ?

[Alex+R 0]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

[garya505 2]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

I know couples where the man makes the major decisions and I know couples where the woman does. IMO it makes little difference as long as the person making these decisions is making good ones. Of course, in many cases the person actuslly making the decision is only technically doing so, as it's really a consensus. One of my wifes favorite phrases is "it's up to you dear", which means I'd better find out what she wants and make the right choice.

[Alex+R 0]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

I know couples where the man makes the major decisions and I know couples where the woman does. IMO it makes little difference as long as the person making these decisions is making good ones. Of course, in many cases the person actuslly making the decision is only technically doing so, as it's really a consensus. One of my wifes favorite phrases is "it's up to you dear", which means I'd better find out what she wants and make the right choice.

I can agree that having one person make some decisions solo can work in some relationships. I don't think that's what Rail is saying, though. I think he's saying in a healthy relationship, it will always be the man making the decisions.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I didn't realize that having an opinion was a masculine thing. I think I am ready for my #######.

me too!!!

Saludos,

Caro

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... which means I'd better find out what she wants and make the right choice.

Same here. I wish someone had told me I'd need an expertise in mind-reading to be married.

[Ban Hammer 13,143]

I didn't realize that having an opinion was a masculine thing. I think I am ready for my #######.

me too!!!

Saludos,

Caro

get back in the kitchen!

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I didn't realize that having an opinion was a masculine thing. I think I am ready for my #######.

me too!!!

Saludos,

Caro

get back in the kitchen!

Lol, Burn taken!

Saludos,

Caro

[Rail 0]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

Because a woman makes decisions on her emotionns?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

Because a woman makes decisions on her emotionns?

OMG

Good Luck with that, Let us know how it works out.

Saludos,

Caro

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

This thread is sociologically fascinating...

I was raised in a household where both parents worked; my father was raised in a traditional household (grandmere stayed home, raised kids, and baked), and my mother was raised in a single-parent household (my grandfather abandoned her with three kids). My grandma, with all of the difficult times she had, was FORCED to become one of those "independent" women by necessity. She was much happier in her life, however, than my grandmere, who was the most domineering woman I have ever met.

My family, thank goodness, had the best of both worlds...my mother was independent and my father wasn't threatened by it. They compromise in their marriage; she respects him, he respects her. They have been married for nearly 38 years, and will be married till the day God parts them. I learned what I wanted from a relationship from watching how my parents treat each other.

My fiance is not threatened by me, we come to decisions together, and he appreciates my intelligence and drive. But he would NEVER classify me as masculine, just because I have a career and can make decisions without his approval. And I would NEVER consider him unmasculine because he wants an equal partnership...our key, just like my parents', is COMPROMISE....

[msu17 0]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

Because a woman makes decisions on her emotionns?

HAHAHAHA that's tooooo funny! When a major crisis comes up, I always have to make the decision because my husband is the one that gets too emotional about it. Same with my father and a lot of men I know. Same with a lot of women I know. It depends on the person, not the gender. However, if you must be the head of household, remember the line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding... The man is the head of the house but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants... Regardless, congrats on finding someone that fits with your ideal of marriage, but please stop generalizing about all american (and other Western) women. Thanks

Edited March 3, 2008 by msu17

[dbears 1]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

Because a woman makes decisions on her emotionns?

WOW! It shows how highly you think about women. GEEZ

BTW, what does "emotionns" mean? I know there is a word 'emotion' but I am not sure I have encountered 'emotionns' before... but of course, I am just a woman who don't know how to use my brains so I could be mistaken. ...

I guess being brainless and retarded have extended to all womankind now and not just exclusive to non-us citizen immigrants, the "RANUSC" so to speak... the world is indeed evolving at a very high speed.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

Rail, you said "there are times when the man needs to take the bull by the horns and make the major decisions."

Why do you think a man knows better than a woman on the major decisions?

Because a woman makes decisions on her emotionns?

WOW! It shows how highly you think about women. GEEZ

BTW, what does "emotionns" mean? I know there is a word 'emotion' but I am not sure I have encountered 'emotionns' before... but of course, I am just a woman who don't know how to use my brains so I could be mistaken. ...

I guess being brainless and retarded have extended to all womankind now and not just exclusive to non-us citizen immigrants, the "RANUSC" so to speak... the world is indeed evolving at a very high speed.

I was wondering what that extra "n" was for, too!