Me & D's Visa Journey....

[truffles 2]

Sorry to hear this...wish you both the best and hopes that you find a way and life that you both can be happy in.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

Boobilicious...

By the way you put things, this must be very difficult for you. However, you still seem to be handling it all with grace and humility (with a touch of humor). Whatever happens, I get the sense that you will emerge stronger and better because of it all. We're wishing you the best.

Please keep us posted on your upcoming decisions/outcome...

Cheers!!!

Sheriff Uling

p.s. - Here's one to a good woman...

Edited February 26, 2008 by Sheriff Uling

[almaty 19]

sister lisa...whatever you decide and brother david decides, i know will be thought out with your heads as well as, your hearts...i wish only peace and goodness for the both of you...your friend dean

[JenT 0]

Man oh man.

Lisa, I know this is really really hard for you. I hope you CAN work something out. You mentioned going back to England - you always loved it there. I know you have family here that means the world to you - but there are planes, and webcams. Not the same, I know, as being so close by them. But - it's doable, I guess.

This is off the wall as far as a correlation goes, but maybe it will make some sense. Maybe not - but here goes. When we were selling the house, that was a real struggle for me insofar as Zach. He'd grown up in that house. He loved the way it was done inside; he loved his room; he loved the woods out back. He's soooo sentimental - I didn't realize how much until the day of the move. You know how they take drawers out so they can move the heavy furniiture? Well, when they were removing the drawers for one of the chests in Zach's room, I saw on top of some clothes - his old baby blanket. And in a sock drawer - two pairs of his baby socks. He had kept those things - not Mom keeping them for him in a safe place. He had kept them.

I had a terrible time with it all. He came home from college about 10 days before the move, and before he was leaving to go back, he was standing in the driveway looking all around. He went out back and looked up into the woods. My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked at him before he got in the van to drive away, and hugged him. All I could say was "I'm sorry". He said "It's okay. I understand". And he drove off.

What's this got to do with the price of pickles in Pakistan? *sigh* It's about making a choice - a choice I had to make. I had struggled to keep that house too long - for my son. But he was growing up and going on. Soon he would spread his wings, fly - he would have his own life. His own family and his own career. Wes and I could choose to stay in that house; struggle with the payments; the heating bill; the commute and all its costs. Or we could do what was right for us - and I had to do what was right for me and move away from a house and all the memories it contained of a prior broken marriage.

You have to do what is right - for you. For David. If that means a return to England - then godspeed. I know your family will understand. If it means other things - then I wish you healing. And peace.

That was a beautiful post, Becc. It really touched my heart. Thank you.

[broma25 2]

Man oh man.

Lisa, I know this is really really hard for you. I hope you CAN work something out. You mentioned going back to England - you always loved it there. I know you have family here that means the world to you - but there are planes, and webcams. Not the same, I know, as being so close by them. But - it's doable, I guess.

This is off the wall as far as a correlation goes, but maybe it will make some sense. Maybe not - but here goes. When we were selling the house, that was a real struggle for me insofar as Zach. He'd grown up in that house. He loved the way it was done inside; he loved his room; he loved the woods out back. He's soooo sentimental - I didn't realize how much until the day of the move. You know how they take drawers out so they can move the heavy furniiture? Well, when they were removing the drawers for one of the chests in Zach's room, I saw on top of some clothes - his old baby blanket. And in a sock drawer - two pairs of his baby socks. He had kept those things - not Mom keeping them for him in a safe place. He had kept them.

I had a terrible time with it all. He came home from college about 10 days before the move, and before he was leaving to go back, he was standing in the driveway looking all around. He went out back and looked up into the woods. My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked at him before he got in the van to drive away, and hugged him. All I could say was "I'm sorry". He said "It's okay. I understand". And he drove off.

What's this got to do with the price of pickles in Pakistan? *sigh* It's about making a choice - a choice I had to make. I had struggled to keep that house too long - for my son. But he was growing up and going on. Soon he would spread his wings, fly - he would have his own life. His own family and his own career. Wes and I could choose to stay in that house; struggle with the payments; the heating bill; the commute and all its costs. Or we could do what was right for us - and I had to do what was right for me and move away from a house and all the memories it contained of a prior broken marriage.

You have to do what is right - for you. For David. If that means a return to England - then godspeed. I know your family will understand. If it means other things - then I wish you healing. And peace.

That was a beautiful post, Becc. It really touched my heart. Thank you.

I too think that was a beautiful post!

[itsdee 0]

I hope it works out for the best. Good luck.

[HAL 9000 96]

Wow... I return from taking care of many family situations abroad and find someone I sometimes agree with and other times disagree with leaving VJ...

In the long run may your happiness be reflected in the decisions you two decide to take to make your life's journeys become whole and meaningful.

Best,

W

[Fandango 1,440]

Hey Guys! I just wanted to pop by to let you all know that our visajourney is officially over.

D & I took a long time this week thinking and giving each other space and time to find clarity. We spoke last night at great length...almost 5 hours! Anyways, we both have concluded that while we both love each other with all of our hearts, pursuing this is not in either of our best interests. Neither is me going there.

Don't be sad for us...I am so proud of both of us for being able to rationally and maturely come to this decision. We are and always will be friends; if he ever needs me, I will always be there for him, and vice versa. I don't regret one minute of our time together, but for everything a season/reason...yanno?

hah, that just reminded me of Ian Brown's song 'F.E.A.R.'

Anyways, I was just updating myspace, and I fig'd I'd c&p it here:

So wow, I woke up this morning and feel like I just woke up after a coma. My friends on here who actually know me in person know full well what I'm talking about. Today is the first day of the rest of my life...and as scary and daunting as that seems, I know in my heart it's the best thing for me.

I wake up today with no fear in my heart....something, which in retrospect, I know I've held in there for as long as I can remember. Well, fear, and the feeling of total futility....like trying repeatedly to put a square peg into a round hole. I've put down all the negativity, conflict, worry, doubt, insecurities, etc! Assurance is a wonderful thing to feel...and that's where my heart is right now. I feel assured that I am on the path I am meant to take.

Regret is also a horrible thing to live with....I wake today to find that I while I know I cannot change certain things which I might like to change, I have no regrets about my 'coulda shoulda wouldas'. There is no longer any doubt about whether I can do more, say more, soldier on at the expense of myself. It is all gone and although I might feel a bit wistful, there is a 10 ton weight lifted off of me now. My mood on here is 'buoyant'...which is precisely true....I feel like I could walk on air.

I have been on a search for finding myself, finding inner peace and clarity, as well as blissful happiness. It has been so hard and painful for God knows how long. For the very first time in a long time, today I start my day with hope, happiness and a zen-like calm, and with the assurance that I know God is working in my life to lead me where I belong.

I don't know what His 'Master Plan' is for me just yet, but I'm so excited to see where it goes!

I feel no overwhelming pain anymore, and I hope everyone here can be happy for us both....it was not the outcome that either of us ever really wanted, but sometimes you don't get what you want, you get what you need.

I'm sure I'll be back here at some point....while I have no real reason for being here, I have come to consider many of you my friends. I would love to keep in touch with you to hear how you are doing. But at the same time, after what has been years of slumber for me, I finally feel ready to start living a real life, and not just sat on a computer every day and night.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes....they have most certainly helped immensely!!!

Lisa

Edited February 29, 2008 by LisaD

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I'm happy for you, Lisa Good luck

[churipu 4]

I am happy for both of you then, Lisa. I hope you both find your path & I wish you all the best

[*julez* 124]

I wish you both all the best that life has to offer. Please do stop by and say hi now and again! I've always loved your sassy style!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Sounds like you both can be at peace with this. Wish you two the best.

[chri'stina 190]

Aww, Lisa. I am glad you feel better after this hard situation. May God guide your steps for your new future.

[Sinergy 3]

Lisa, all i can say is love ya!!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Wow, Lisa, it sounds like you both really have it together! I hope that this new stage your lives (sorry, that wording is so cheesy) brings you both happiness and success.

And please do stop by. I really like your signatures! Who else is going to have the gigantic pumkin a$$ lady come October?