My wife left me!

[mox 298]

Aside: This is a truly special forum. Nowhere else have I ever seen a thread that can go from the horrors of a broken marriage to the potential horrors of cannibal sex in 9 pages. Although quite frankly I'm a little disappointed it took us 9 pages. C'mon Russian posters, we can get that down to 5 pages next time I'm sure!

[akdiver 3]

but if I had to shoe-horn a correction in I would say that your argument is more like "just because I stole your care doesn't mean I'm responsible for you being pissed off."

I would agree - if I were to steal your car, I am hardly responsible for you choosing to be pissed off about it. Alternative choices you would have in such an instance include:

a). Relief, that your vehicle, which maybe you didn't like very much, got stolen - giving you justification to go get a new one.

B). Relief that you no longer have a vehicle with which you can use to contribute to global pollution.

c). Relief that now you can walk or bike or take public transportation, reducing your monthly expenditures and increasing your ability to lead a healthy lifestyle.

d). Other, more positive choices besides being "pissed off"

These are all choices a person whose car is stolen may choose, in response to having the car stolen. They don't HAVE to choose to be pissed off about it. In any event, your choice of response is hardly the responsibility of the one who stole your car.

It's like when you wake up late in the morning, trip down the stairs, break the heal on your new pair of shoes and spill coffee on the carpet. This does not mean you have to be in a bad mood in the morning and have a crappy day. You can choose to set this all aside and determine to have a nice day anyway. How you respond to the issues you face in life is all up to you - no one else bears responsibility for your choices.

Furthermore, there are some cultures and belief systems that would go so far as to say that in such an instance, it is YOUR FAULT that I stole your car because you created a situation that tempted me into doing so. Now, I personally don't believe such an argument, but there are plenty of non-criminal-spiritual-types that do.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited February 25, 2008 by akdiver

[Blues Fairy 0]

I would agree - if I were to steal your car, I am hardly responsible for you choosing to be pissed off about it. Alternative choices you would have in such an instance include:

a). Relief

(...)

These are all choices a person whose car is stolen may choose, in response to having the car stolen. They don't HAVE to choose to be pissed off about it.

And how can you know if he is really pissed off? What if the (ex)owner of the car is not in the least pissed off, but nevertheless chooses to chase the car thief and put his ### in jail, just for the properness of things? After all, a thief belongs in jail, regardless of the feelings of the offended party. I may even send him a thank-you note and a bottle of champagne for stealing my car, after the formal act of retribution has been performed.

[bakofoil 27]

Aside: This is a truly special forum. Nowhere else have I ever seen a thread that can go from the horrors of a broken marriage to the potential horrors of cannibal sex in 9 pages. Although quite frankly I'm a little disappointed it took us 9 pages. C'mon Russian posters, we can get that down to 5 pages next time I'm sure!

I agree! It did take a drive-by to turn you onto the horrors of Cannibal sex though

[visaveteran1 33]

but if I had to shoe-horn a correction in I would say that your argument is more like "just because I stole your care doesn't mean I'm responsible for you being pissed off."

I would agree - if I were to steal your car, I am hardly responsible for you choosing to be pissed off about it. Alternative choices you would have in such an instance include:

a). Relief, that your vehicle, which maybe you didn't like very much, got stolen - giving you justification to go get a new one.

B). Relief that you no longer have a vehicle with which you can use to contribute to global pollution.

c). Relief that now you can walk or bike or take public transportation, reducing your monthly expenditures and increasing your ability to lead a healthy lifestyle.

d). Other, more positive choices besides being "pissed off"

These are all choices a person whose car is stolen may choose, in response to having the car stolen. They don't HAVE to choose to be pissed off about it. In any event, your choice of response is hardly the responsibility of the one who stole your car.

It's like when you wake up late in the morning, trip down the stairs, break the heal on your new pair of shoes and spill coffee on the carpet. This does not mean you have to be in a bad mood in the morning and have a crappy day. You can choose to set this all aside and determine to have a nice day anyway. How you respond to the issues you face in life is all up to you - no one else bears responsibility for your choices.

Furthermore, there are some cultures and belief systems that would go so far as to say that in such an instance, it is YOUR FAULT that I stole your car because you created a situation that tempted me into doing so. Now, I personally don't believe such an argument, but there are plenty of non-criminal-spiritual-types that do.

Cheers!

AKDiver

If a cannibal ate AKDiver, how should we react? With gratitude.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

didya hear about the cannibal who was failing college? he ate all his classmates and "passed" the class.

*groan*

[akdiver 3]

And how can you know if he is really pissed off? What if the (ex)owner of the car is not in the least pissed off, but nevertheless chooses to chase the car thief and put his ### in jail, just for the properness of things? After all, a thief belongs in jail, regardless of the feelings of the offended party. I may even send him a thank-you note and a bottle of champagne for stealing my car, after the formal act of retribution has been performed.

That's correct. Yet another response - don't get pissed off, get even....or if you prefer, don't get pissed off, get justice. Either way - it's just another example of how person A is not responsible for the response to his actions by person B, who has to make his or her own choices in life.

If a cannibal ate AKDiver, how should we react? With gratitude.

Such a cannibal would probably get indigestion and an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited February 25, 2008 by akdiver

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

didya hear about the cannibal who was failing college? he ate all his classmates and "passed" the class.

*groan*

no, i don't think he had hemorrhoids

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

didya hear about the cannibal who was failing college? he ate all his classmates and "passed" the class.

*groan*

no, i don't think he had hemorrhoids

Oh Charles!!! LOL

[mox 298]

I would agree - if I were to steal your car...

It's my own fault for not resisting the pull of an argument by analogy. The problem with this fallacy is that all analogies break down, which allows the arguer to pick and choose which of the features of one part of the analogy they want to use, all the while discounting other parts that don't fit their argument.

Doesn't matter though, you've justified the unsocial behavior in your mind, as has Satellite, so even a real inductive argument would have no effect.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

They're very bitter.

What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his azz.

Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"

When do cannibals leave the table?

When everyone's eaten.

The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."

Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?

He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like!

What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?

A celebrity roast.

Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?

Dinner costs an arm and a leg.

What do cannibals eat for dessert?

Chocolate covered aunts.

What is a cannibal's favorite game?

Swallow the leader.

What do cannibals make out of politicians?

Bologna sandwiches.

A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes.

Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A cannibal visited his neighbor to admire his new refrigerator. "What is the storage capacity?" the man asked.

"I'm not exactly sure," the neighbor replied. "But it at least holds the two men that brought it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"

And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there is no cannibals in Africa."

And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals."

And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"

The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are FRIARS!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh dad, there's one."

"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough."

"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.

They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief said, "You betcha!"

When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."

The Rescue crew were shocked. One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"

The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"

The Chief replied, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you...you know...eat, their...'things'?"

The chief says, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuer.

"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.

The other missionary was incredulous, and said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're going to eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The laughing missionary said, "I just peed in their soup!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue team. "Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor. Obviously he had eaten his comrades. The survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted. "I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man, your plane only went down yesterday!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These two cannibals kill a missionary. They argue for a while about how to divide him up, when finally, one of them says, "Okay. You start at the head and I'll start at the feet."

So they begin their tasty feast. After a while one of them says, "Hey, this is really great. I'm having a ball."

"Slow down!" cries the other cannibal "You're eating too fast!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?"

The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers after a large meal. "Your wife makes a delicious roast," one chief said.

"Thanks," his friend said, "I'm gonna miss her!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."

There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces.

The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your azz without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. CLICK-CLICK Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was much impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women.

The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a ####### - take your pick."

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them is a cannibal."

[akdiver 3]

....all while insisting that someone else is responsible for your thoughts, actions and deeds.

he made me tell a lie....

he made me steal that car....

he made me feel bad...

It all amounts to the same thing.

"He made me do it" stops being a valid argument by the time one reaches first grade.

Cheers!

AKDiver

[Blues Fairy 0]

person A is not responsible for the response to his actions by person B

Sounds like an oxymoron to me.

Anyway AK, if you agree that getting pissed off or seeking justice are equally personal and independent choices of each respondent, would you not also agree that those choices are none of your business, and you shouldn't tell these people to go get care? :tongue:

[Mags 112]

I think a little bit of politeness wouldn't go amiss here. You may all disagree, but some of you here are being pretty disrespectful to one another. Play nice or I'll stick my mod hat on and bash you all over the head with a cushion.

[akdiver 3]

Anyway AK, if you agree that getting pissed off or seeking justice are equally personal and independent choices of each respondent,

I do.

... you shouldn't tell these people to go get care?

Uh...just offering a suggestion to help out. Feel free to disregard if it's not something you're interested in (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited February 25, 2008 by akdiver