MENA Men/Women arriving in USA

[sarahaziz 0]

Sora_9_Dam3a aboya rajol a3mal w allah an3am 3le ene 3nde hada el masdar been adya 2deesh a3dte testane jozik 7ata eja 3la america ookti

[sarahaziz 0]

What does everyone feel about husbands sending money to their family right away?

I feel that after my husband gets a house and a car for us and we are in good living I think after I am taken care of then he can start sending money back home. Am I being harsh or rude ? I feel me as a wife I have first priority but I don't want him to feel I am being nasty towards his family. I am a working student/intern myself. Money is something I have to speak to him about but I don't know where to begin. He said he won't send money to them because they don't need it but I'm pretty sure somewhere along the line they will want money.

[doodlebugg 10]

I insist that he put his sisters first, so long as they are not married, so absolutely he will be sending money home. In our case though it's just he and his two sisters. If he didn't have that responsibility then I would want to come first, but we both knew going in that this was the situation. I put my kids first as well so we both have compromises.

[terrie/kamal 0]

Kamal got a job at a gas station for now til he can get his license in the state of wisconsin to teach. He has to look into that further. And as far as sending money home, he has debts he is paying back to his brother, and his brother asked him to give the money to mom. So i guess as long as our bills are paid i have no problem.

[♥Sora_9_Dam3a♥ 0]

it's so funny, i was working on my husband's resume today....

...i'm guessing your husband's an engineer.. my husband's a civil engineer and when he comes, we're going to be looking for civil engineering positions....i'm praying to God that it's an easy process....i know he'll need to take some exam, the EIT [Engineer in Training] and later the PE [Professional Engineer] for the license...my husband really loves his job...and i'm so worried that he'll be underemployed, it'll really be difficult for him...but i'm praying for the best, insha Allah..

i wish you and your husband all the best, insha Allah

take care

My husband is also an Engineer. Where did you learn he needs to take those exams? I've asked Engineers I know here and no one has mentioned any exam...doesn't mean it isn't necessary though! lol They just said that his degree must be an "American accredited degree".

Yeah there is no such thing as a certificate or an exam you can take, they will have to pursue a Master's degree from an accredited university. My cousin is an engineer and when he came from Jordan thats what he had to do to get a job.

my friend is an engineer and she said that since my husband may be dealing with buildings that will be opened up to the public, he will be required to take the EIT...she's an electrical engineer, but she's doing office work--so she didn't have to take it...

his bachelors is equivalent to the bachelors, we had it evaluated. and almost all positions for civil engineers that i've found only required a bachelors...any higher level of education was preferred. i emailed an employer a few months back and asked if they hired foreign engineers with foreign degrees and he replied--he said they prefer american degrees, but he told me to send in the resume. i didn't actually send it in, because, we were still waiting on the visa, but that gave me some hope. my husband's only problem is english...his spelling is a little off and he kind of has a hard time understanding my crazy new yorker english..lol...but when he speaks, he's pretty good and he's gotten better...his courses in college were taught in english and i just bought him an arabic-english engineering dictionary...you can find it on amazon...i actually got one that's specific to civil engineering...

i'm just praying that we're on the right track, insha allah and i prayyyy that the process is easy for him. i really don't want him to be stressed out..

i wish you all the best!!!

[♥Sora_9_Dam3a♥ 0]

Sora_9_Dam3a aboya rajol a3mal w allah an3am 3le ene 3nde hada el masdar been adya 2deesh a3dte testane jozik 7ata eja 3la america ookti

alhamdulillah, rabbina ya khalleholko!!!

howa lissa fe masr...lakin alhamdullah, a3adna 7awaly sana nistanna al visa...alhamdullah!! 3o2baalik!!!!!!!! rabbina yejma3ko 3ala khair fe a2rab wa2t!!!!

i can't wait to see the visa in hand post!! insha allah sooooon!!

[♥Sora_9_Dam3a♥ 0]

his bachelors is equivalent to the bachelors

haha...i meant--his bachelors is equivalent to the American bachelors...

it's late, i had a long day haha

[sereia 0]

What does everyone feel about husbands sending money to their family right away?

I feel that after my husband gets a house and a car for us and we are in good living I think after I am taken care of then he can start sending money back home. Am I being harsh or rude ? I feel me as a wife I have first priority but I don't want him to feel I am being nasty towards his family. I am a working student/intern myself. Money is something I have to speak to him about but I don't know where to begin. He said he won't send money to them because they don't need it but I'm pretty sure somewhere along the line they will want money.

Personally I would be pretty upset if he asked to send home money right away. Our finances are definitely not in order so why give away money when we are struggling right now? His family isn't exactly poor anyway. They do fine for themselves so I think waiting to send them money until we are more settled is a fair request. Luckily he hasn't asked to send money yet anyway because he also wants to set us up financially first.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yep, I agree with you both. Once *our* finances are in order and we're living comfortably enough that we have a little money to spare then I don't mind him sending money home now and then. I wouldn't have married my husband if I knew we had to support his family completely. That may sound selfish but that's how I feel. Helping them out I have no problem with however *our* family (he and I) comes first.

What does everyone feel about husbands sending money to their family right away?

I feel that after my husband gets a house and a car for us and we are in good living I think after I am taken care of then he can start sending money back home. Am I being harsh or rude ? I feel me as a wife I have first priority but I don't want him to feel I am being nasty towards his family. I am a working student/intern myself. Money is something I have to speak to him about but I don't know where to begin. He said he won't send money to them because they don't need it but I'm pretty sure somewhere along the line they will want money.

Personally I would be pretty upset if he asked to send home money right away. Our finances are definitely not in order so why give away money when we are struggling right now? His family isn't exactly poor anyway. They do fine for themselves so I think waiting to send them money until we are more settled is a fair request. Luckily he hasn't asked to send money yet anyway because he also wants to set us up financially first.

[Nasturtium 500]

I agree-- our family unit comes first, then the extended. I married knowing he would support the extended, and he made sure he's be able to to both before he came. He's been here 8 months and has yet to send anything home. he refuses to use our money to send home to them and feels it should be something "extra" that he does. He got us more orless on track now, and we're on the 3 or less year plan. So as much as I sometimes thinnk, wow, if we were to save asll that money he would make from a second job... maybe we could do this faster... at the same time I get it-- basic needs are basic needs. With two disabled adult brothers (cerebral palsy and severe brain damage), there is ALWAYS going to be a need there-- even if both sisters got jobs (one has one now, one is full-time caretaker for the others) there would still be a need. It's just about how to make it all work in the end. I'm glad to see he put us first though and cintinues to do so. He's not interested in sacrificing that. Anyway, culturally, it's your responsibility to your wife and children first, extended family second.

[Martiniolive 0]

we have not talked about sending any money home to morocco yet. But I am hoping he can reimburse me for all the $$$$ I am having to go thru in travel and visa fee's first as well as our expenses together here after he comes to the US...before we think of something like helping others. On the other question tho......My husband is an accountant in his country. Does anyone know if there is any possibility of his getting work in the states in that field or what is reguired to become lic. here? [

quote name=julianna' date='Feb 22 2008, 07:58 AM' post='1603382]

I agree-- our family unit comes first, then the extended. I married knowing he would support the extended, and he made sure he's be able to to both before he came. He's been here 8 months and has yet to send anything home. he refuses to use our money to send home to them and feels it should be something "extra" that he does. He got us more orless on track now, and we're on the 3 or less year plan. So as much as I sometimes thinnk, wow, if we were to save asll that money he would make from a second job... maybe we could do this faster... at the same time I get it-- basic needs are basic needs. With two disabled adult brothers (cerebral palsy and severe brain damage), there is ALWAYS going to be a need there-- even if both sisters got jobs (one has one now, one is full-time caretaker for the others) there would still be a need. It's just about how to make it all work in the end. I'm glad to see he put us first though and cintinues to do so. He's not interested in sacrificing that. Anyway, culturally, it's your responsibility to your wife and children first, extended family second.

[sereia 0]

Man someone else here went through that! I can't remember who. I remember them saying accounting is completely different here versus what they learn in Morocco and were not able to be an accountant here. I hope thats not true for your sake!!! Sorry I can't provide more info for you other than hearsay!

[irahaymeh 0]

My husband has been a teacher for more than 30 years both in Kuwait and Jordan. He arrived here in May 2007 and applied for a job as a translator with the US Army in Iraq. So he has been in Iraq since December and will come home in June on vacation. We will go to Jordan during vacation, then, he plans to return to Iraq as a translator till the end of December. It's hard, but very good money and when he finishes his tour in Iraq, we plan to start our own business. It is difficult being separated once again, but, once we are reunited, this time it will be forever; Ahomdullilah!

[*Maureen* 0]

oh wow irene, how hard that must be. how often do you get to talk to your husband?

My husband has been a teacher for more than 30 years both in Kuwait and Jordan. He arrived here in May 2007 and applied for a job as a translator with the US Army in Iraq. So he has been in Iraq since December and will come home in June on vacation. We will go to Jordan during vacation, then, he plans to return to Iraq as a translator till the end of December. It's hard, but very good money and when he finishes his tour in Iraq, we plan to start our own business. It is difficult being separated once again, but, once we are reunited, this time it will be forever; Ahomdullilah!

[Nutty 2]

MY FIRST HUSBAND...

Was highly trained engineer in his country (Tibet)...But when he came to the states it was impossible for him to get a job as an engineer here because of language issues.

I've been through this process before...

All I can say to you people...don't expect things to be easy!