Leaving Your Home Behind

[Flames9_RN 358]

I love Staurday mail delivery!! In my opnion, USPS is superior than Canada (slow) post!! Im pretty sure the term "snail" mail originated in Canada!! lol

[L_n_O 3]

Ya, mail here rocks!!!!

I'm waiting for mine right now!

[Marilyn. 340]

i have been here for almost 3 years and I still feel like I don't belong....

[Krikit 1,165]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing hard times, Reba. I hope things start looking up for you soon.

[Izoom 0]

I always thought when I was younger that when I heard Canadians speak with the "stereotypical" accent or words, it was humourous. How ironic that I'm going to marry my own lovely lady. She doesn't carry the accent but she does have a few quirky words that I actually find just as useful as American speak:

That dinner was some good = That dinner was really good

Other than listening to people speak, she says she felt just right when she was here last and I'm hoping thats how she feels in the future as well.

[Carlawarla 1]

I'm so touched by everyone's stories here. Everything has been said so eloquently.

I think I'm in the transition stage. We just got back from travels...to wonderful places. People of course on vacation seem to notice my accent more, and ask where I'm from. I would say..."St. Louis". People would say, "huh? You don't sound like you're from St. Louis...where from originally?". That made me proud, but sad.

I've said before I'm very fortunate that my husband has a great job, and makes more than enough for the two of us. I retired from my job in Canada, and he told me as well that I can work part-time, full-time, not work, go to school, volunteer...do whatever I want to do. I chose to do volunteer work which I enjoy immensely.

I'm fiercely independant, and the transition from doing everything my own way, and having my own money, was tougher to come by. I'm 50, and took the early retirement, but have decided not to access any retirement funds. Gene is extremely generous with money so that is never an issue, and I know that it's "our" money now, and so a huge transition for me, has been getting my head around this.

Again, to go back to my transition stage, I think someone said it before in the Forum, but when we were returning back to St. Louis, I turned to Gene and said, it'll be so good to get back home. It was after this that I noticed my reference to "home".

Home really is where the heart is. I know a piece of my heart will always be in Canada, but for the most part, my heart is embracing my "new" home.

[Krikit 1,165]

That dinner was some good = That dinner was really good

That's definitely an east coast saying. They say a lot of fun things.

[Izoom 0]

Yeah, the younger generations don't seem to say it as much, but the older folks speak crazy fast and have such a heavy Scot accent that its hard to hear sometimes.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

One thing I am looking forward to is where Nick lives in NJ, Bergen County they passed a law where everything is closed on Sundays. I think it's great. Spend the day with your family!!!

[trailmix 77]

I love Staurday mail delivery!! In my opnion, USPS is superior than Canada (slow) post!! Im pretty sure the term "snail" mail originated in Canada!! lol

What I want to know is - What mail are you people getting that makes Saturday mail so appealing!?!?

All I ever get is bills and 5 day delivery works ok with that.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I love Staurday mail delivery!! In my opnion, USPS is superior than Canada (slow) post!! Im pretty sure the term "snail" mail originated in Canada!! lol

What I want to know is - What mail are you people getting that makes Saturday mail so appealing!?!?

All I ever get is bills and 5 day delivery works ok with that.

[T.O_2_FL 0]

Reba, I can understand part of where you're coming from. No doubt you're in a difficult situation and I hope things get better for you soon....

On the other hand, at least you are with the one you love rather than being miles and miles apart.

[daisy16 0]

Wow Reba! I feel your pain - I've gone through similar stuff. These workaholic men with no social life! I'm a workaholic too, so it's almost killing me not being able to work. some people wish to have such time on their hands.

You said upstate New York or Vermont, but be careful. I live where New York City folk call upstate, only 2 hours outside of NYC, but I could be on Mars. If I want to shop beyond groceries, gas, and Walmart, I have to drive 45 minutes. With no job, that's a lot of gas, so it's lucky I have no money to shop. If I want to volunteer, like becoming a Big Sister or working with kids, the only place wanting such volunteers are a 50 mile drive away! crazy, right! So choose a town if you can!

Hugs,

Daisy

I've been here a little over 3 years now, and I still don't like it much. I'm getting used to it, but I can't say that I'll ever like it here And by "here" I mean small town western North Carolina. I have no idea if life would be any more enjoyable in some other part of the country. I'd like to think so, because its hopelessly miserable here and we plan to move this year somewhere closer to the border and therefore closer to my family. Up-state New York likely, or maybe Vermont.

The only reason I'm here in the US and he's not in Canada is because Canada wouldn't let him in. We would still have a year or more of paperwork to endure with Canadian immigration to get him able to cross the border, and I've been bugging him to get on it since the day I arrived.

When it became apparent that I'd have to move to the US rather than him to Canada, I begged and pleaded that it be somewhere other than this area, but unfortunately BOTH of his parents fell ill with terminal cancer and they wanted him to move closer to them. Why, I have no idea, they never wanted to see us after we got here

He was working 80 hour weeks when I arrived, and I had no friends or anyone to talk to. Ever. I tried to "make friends" with his parents, and for whatever reason they just didn't like me. Too outspoken for them. Too liberal. Too Canadian.

Everywhere I went to try to meet people, I would be insulted about being an immigrant, or my non-racist sensibilities would be insulted to the point of nausea.

My husband has no close friends, so there was no-one "built in" so to speak for me to get to know. And with him working 80 hour weeks, he had no time for me to show me around or introduce me to people. I was completely and entirely on my own.

I've had 4 jobs since I got here, and the one I have now is the most tolerable, though boring and mindless. I get paid a pittance, barely liveable wage, and the cost of healthcare scares the ####### out of me. And yes, I have insurance, but the freakin' deductibles are so bloody high, it doesn't really cover anything. By the time we meet our deductibles, I'm fairly certain the year will be over and we'll be back to square one, OR my employer will switch insurance companies again so we'll start from scratch again at Jan. 1. They apparently have done that for the past 3 years, which I wish I'd known when I took the job last spring. Not that it would have mattered, there are no other jobs in this town. Our county has the highest unemployment rate in the state apparently. And a lot of employers don't offer health insurance benefits because it costs too much. My husband has been out of a job now for just over a year. There are others in town, whom I see quite often applying for jobs at the furniture plant where I work, because I'm the receptionist and they're in there once or twice a week looking for work...some have been out of a job for 2 years or more. There's just no jobs here. And the town doesn't seem too anxious to try and bring in some industry to get people working again. I work at the LAST furniture plant in town that is still manufacturing and not totally outsourcing to foreign countries. Henredon just closed up their plant at Christmas and laid off 500+ people and kept on less than 20 office employees. I think I've seen all 500 of them come thru our place to put in an application.

I also expect that we'll be back to lay-off hours this summer, and I will only have 4 day work weeks. Which means 4 day week paychecks. We haven't got caught up on bills from last summer's lay off yet

Home may only be a 2 hour plane ride, but the cost is anywhere from $400 to $700 or more and I just don't have the money for it. My take home pay is less than $1000 per month. So I'm stuck here for the duration. And I feel stuck, all the bloody time. We don't even have the money to go to a movie in town most of the time.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

You an Oprah watcher Carla? That most recent book she's added to her booklist looks really interesting. I don't watch her often, but yesterday's show hit a cord with me. Someone has written a book about 'Awakening o your life's purpose'. I would really like to do something different with my life. Besides going to work, raising kids yada yada....I would like to make a difference somewhere, somehow. Anyhoo.....

http://www2.oprah.com/obc_classic/webevent...?promocode=HP31

Looked neat, yes...some will say it's schmaltzy, but if it makes people think, it can only be a good thing in my opinion !

I'm so touched by everyone's stories here. Everything has been said so eloquently.

I think I'm in the transition stage. We just got back from travels...to wonderful places. People of course on vacation seem to notice my accent more, and ask where I'm from. I would say..."St. Louis". People would say, "huh? You don't sound like you're from St. Louis...where from originally?". That made me proud, but sad.

I've said before I'm very fortunate that my husband has a great job, and makes more than enough for the two of us. I retired from my job in Canada, and he told me as well that I can work part-time, full-time, not work, go to school, volunteer...do whatever I want to do. I chose to do volunteer work which I enjoy immensely.

I'm fiercely independant, and the transition from doing everything my own way, and having my own money, was tougher to come by. I'm 50, and took the early retirement, but have decided not to access any retirement funds. Gene is extremely generous with money so that is never an issue, and I know that it's "our" money now, and so a huge transition for me, has been getting my head around this.

Again, to go back to my transition stage, I think someone said it before in the Forum, but when we were returning back to St. Louis, I turned to Gene and said, it'll be so good to get back home. It was after this that I noticed my reference to "home".

Home really is where the heart is. I know a piece of my heart will always be in Canada, but for the most part, my heart is embracing my "new" home.

[Toastburglar 0]

I completely understand everyone's feelings about being alienated in their new country. I feel the same way, but the opposite lol When I met my hubby I had already been living in Florida for the better part of two years (on and off). After we got married I gave up my student visa so could go to Canada and work and finish an old degree while our petition was going through. . . which at the time we though would be about 5-6 months We visited each other in the summer, and I went down for halloween (can't miss Halloween Horror Nights at Universal!). He came here for xmas and we drove back down to Orlando together from PEI and I stayed there until Feb 16. I couldn't stay any longer because the border guards would only give me a limited stay but also because we were running out of money.

So anyway, here I am, stuck on PEI, where everything is backwards and nothing is ever open and there's nothing to do and I don't know anyone! And I have to live with my MOTHER of all people who I DO NOT get along with AT ALL and I get to be treated like a child and told what to do and when to do it all day long. Grrrrrrr. . . . I hate everything here. I can't get any of the food I'm used to, and I can't make my favorite recipes because they don't have the right food and the measurements are in metric and the grocery stores are sooooo much more expensive. I miss Orlando soooo much. I have my Pleasure Island annual pass in my wallet, and if I was at home in Florida with John it would be so easy to just drive over and see all my friends at the Adventurer's Club. . . any night of the week! Not just saturday! Imagine that!

Yesterday I sent my DS-230 by Purolator (there's no FEDEX or anything else in this stupid place) and it was $54!!! and it won't get there until Tuesday! that's ridiculous!

Meanwhile, I'm sitting in my mother's house, trying to find something to do because everyone here goes to bed at 10pm and I can't make any noise, so I obsessively check visa journey to see who else got a case complete or an interview ahead of me, and trying to guess when my interview might be.

I miss being with John, and deciding at midnight to go get groceries at WalMart, or going out to see a band on a Tuesday, and putting on flip flops and leaving the apartment on a whim. Ah yes, the temperature, it's cold here all the time! And yes, I did grow up on PEI, and yes, I was always cold. It's so much easier to just leave the house in whatever I'm wearing and not worring about putting on several extra layers and starting the car 15 minutes before I want to go anywhere! Grrrr. . .

I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm bashing Canada, I'm not at all. I just miss Florida and I feel like a total stranger here. I just sit in the house all day and watch tv. I'm starting a new cashier job soon, but I really want to get settled with my husband and start a CAREER. I hate having my life in limbo this way. I want to start saving for a house, and thinking about having kids, and it seems so unfair that other couples get to just start their lives while we have to put ours on hold for a year or more right when we should be making such happy decisions and building a life together.

I'm sorry this turned out to be a huge rant. . lol. . . I just wanted to sympathize that I know what it's like to feel cut off from your life and in a strange place.

Best of luck to everyone!