Leaving Your Home Behind

[bowflex 0]

I think I'm going to buy one of those big tour buses, paint a Canadian Flag on the side, then drive around to people that just came to the States and give them poutine and alcohol at a reduced price. I live right by the border and I think I'd make a fortune. If you can get your families to send care packages to Windsor, Ontario, I'll even deliver. I think I could retire in a year

I wish you all the best, I can't imagine moving from your home to a new country, but I hope being able to spend every single day with your loved one makes it worth it!

[Krikit 1,165]

B)-->

QUOTE(Team J and B @ Feb 20 2008, 11:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My husband is extremely patient and supportive of my eventual big move. He has told me over and again that I don't need to work. Not when I move, not when I get my work permit, not ever. But he says it's all up to me. I can work part-time, full-time, as long as I can occupy myself and not just sit at home eating bonbons waiting for him. He says if I can find a great volunteer opp working with animals (my new career path?) or going to school (cooking or veterinary?) then by all means do it. Also we are looking at places to buy in downtown SF or one of those cute little towns a short drive away, so that will keep us occupied for the first year.

That's what I do. I'm HUGE now.

I'm going to come back at a later time to comment and respond seriously. My computer's a bit unstable at the moment, and so am I. Plus I'd like some time to think.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

This topic has really hit home.

Nick and I just started our K1 journey in December but we have been going back and forth for almost 2 years now. We have many reasons for me moving there instead of Nick coming to Canada.

I only work part time and I think I want to go back to school.

I can't honestly say I have a best friend...or friends for that matter. I lost most of them when I dropped out of high school and then when I was married before, all of my friends were my ex's friends and so when that ended, so did the friendships.

Nick is always worried about me moving there. I'll mention a thread on VJ about the food being different and he gets very sad. I know that I'll have a hard time. I've lived in my little town for my entire life. My family is here and I'm very close with them. I love Canada. It's in me, it's all I've known.

I'm also very excited to move into this next chapter in my life. I think I need a change. Nick's family and friends (he has TONS!) have been so wonderful to me that I know when I move there I won't just be moving to the man of my dreams, I'll have a whole new group of friends and his wonderful family (who has welcomed me with open arms) to comfort me. I know there will be times when I ache for home. I'll cry. I'll be depressed but it is only a plane ride away.

I'm excited about the opportunities I will have there. I'm excited about having a home with Nick and sharing our lives. I love him with all my heart and if I wasn't sure that this was the right move for me....I wouldn't be doing it. I'll always be a Canadian.

I'm going to miss Canada but since the second I saw his face, he was home to me and wherever he is...that's where I need to be.

[Krikit 1,165]

I think I'm going to buy one of those big tour buses, paint a Canadian Flag on the side, then drive around to people that just came to the States and give them poutine and alcohol at a reduced price. I live right by the border and I think I'd make a fortune. If you can get your families to send care packages to Windsor, Ontario, I'll even deliver. I think I could retire in a year

I wish you all the best, I can't imagine moving from your home to a new country, but I hope being able to spend every single day with your loved one makes it worth it!

Just by living in the States we're getting alcohol at a reduced price! Have you SEEN the cost of vodka in Canada? I'm not so hot on the poutine, but if you throw in some Vachon cakes, I'm in!!!!!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I think I'm going to buy one of those big tour buses, paint a Canadian Flag on the side, then drive around to people that just came to the States and give them poutine and alcohol at a reduced price. I live right by the border and I think I'd make a fortune. If you can get your families to send care packages to Windsor, Ontario, I'll even deliver. I think I could retire in a year

I wish you all the best, I can't imagine moving from your home to a new country, but I hope being able to spend every single day with your loved one makes it worth it!

Just by living in the States we're getting alcohol at a reduced price! Have you SEEN the cost of vodka in Canada? I'm not so hot on the poutine, but if you throw in some Vachon cakes, I'm in!!!!!

Nick wants to set up a whole strip mall of all Canadian businesses...like Swiss Chalet, Harvey's, Timmy's..etc. LOL I think it would be super popular!

[bowflex 0]

I think I'm going to buy one of those big tour buses, paint a Canadian Flag on the side, then drive around to people that just came to the States and give them poutine and alcohol at a reduced price. I live right by the border and I think I'd make a fortune. If you can get your families to send care packages to Windsor, Ontario, I'll even deliver. I think I could retire in a year

I wish you all the best, I can't imagine moving from your home to a new country, but I hope being able to spend every single day with your loved one makes it worth it!

Just by living in the States we're getting alcohol at a reduced price! Have you SEEN the cost of vodka in Canada? I'm not so hot on the poutine, but if you throw in some Vachon cakes, I'm in!!!!!

Nick wants to set up a whole strip mall of all Canadian businesses...like Swiss Chalet, Harvey's, Timmy's..etc. LOL I think it would be super popular!

Haha one of my favorite (favourite for you iglooers ) restaurants now is Kelsey's. Not sure if it's strictly Canadian but I've only seen them in Windsor and Toronto, but my God I'd kill for their steak fajitas haha.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

It's not pretty Shawna7 - my daughter just turned 16 a month ago and it's been a hellish 3 months to say the least.

Let me first say that 'technically' she likes her step-dad and step-brothers, is a pretty, friendly girl and has new friends already (took about 2-3 weeks). A few boys are interested, although she doesn't quite date yet. She is living in a larger house, joined the basketball team at school and is not a bad kid.

BUT... she is singularly determined to hate it here. She will not give it a chance and is doing nothing but trying to take it out on me (yay me:( ) because I have 'made her life hell' and I quote. She's been 'pretending to be sick' from school and thus missed a great deal of class work since we moved in Nov. She spends a lot of time blaming others when things don't go right or she's late for the school bus

Sometimes, I feel horribly guilty that I've done this to her, but many times I look at her and realize that she just won't let up..she is having the fight of her life because she wants her way...the convenient way in her mind...and boy does she have hutzbah !

We have offered numerous ways to keep in contact with old friends...The phone is free all the time now that we all live in the same house, MSN and facebook are available, but she hasn't had computer priviledges in a few weeks due to tardiness and school marks.

Having your ex continue to offer an 'out' isn't going to work. My dad accidentally said something to my daughter about how she could move back if she had better attendance and better marks, then maybe they'd think about it for next year. I think he couldn't bear the thought of how unhappy she was, but it was a mistake because now she clings to that hope and wont really put the effort in here.

How to make your child see some promise and goodness out of all this is still a mystery to me. Alittle kid - you might be able to convince that it's an adventure...but a teenager girl knows the social situation is devestating and on top of that she's full to the brim with hormones

Wow..I came across this thread in good timing today. I just moved to SC a month ago,we were married within a week and have filed for AOS and all that.. now everything is starting to sink in and it is not as easy as I thought..lol To start with I brought my 15 year old daughter with me who is NOT adjusting well... she misses her friends she misses the food..she misses her friends..lol She wants to go home and I don't know how or if I can stop this..Her father is telling her..come home whenever you want..she just visited with him and friends in Buffalo(of course she can't croos the border yet) and now shes modier than ever! Has anyone been through this with a teen? I feel terribly guilty she is so unhappy..on one hand its only been 5 weeks..I tell myself she'll adjust..on the other hand I just want to throw up my hands and take her home...Its so very difficult..and yeaterday they sent pack my AOS packets(and hers(saying the cheque amounts were wrong..I used a lawyer!!I feel like yelling at the lawyer and saying if i wanted the paperwork messed up..I would have sent it myself!!haha anyway..Its truly wonderful to have a place to come and see how other canucks are fairing..and to just beable to vent a little..I feel a tiny bit better...Does anyone know ..if my daughter does indeed decide to go home.. how does that work with Immigration? does it mean we abandon her claim for good?or can it be put on hold? I'm just feeling a bit stuck..

[Krikit 1,165]

Haha one of my favorite (favourite for you iglooers ) restaurants now is Kelsey's. Not sure if it's strictly Canadian but I've only seen them in Windsor and Toronto, but my God I'd kill for their steak fajitas haha.

You know where I've had some amazing fajitas? Pollo Tropicale. Though I don't think there' much further north than here. An entire healthy meal for only $5.99. I can't eat the entire thing by myself, so hubby and I just share one. Craziness.

[Krikit 1,165]

I have to comment on the teenage girl thing. I endured exactly the same type of thing, but without the "you've moved me to another country" trump card that your girls have. (Mine had another trump card.) I also had the "pleasure" of my mother adding fat to the fire by offering my teenage daughter a place to live. Let me tell you.... TEENAGE GIRLS ARE THE ANTI-CHRIST. I kid you not. I really feel for you ladies. You sound like you're going about things the right way. But you need to have a talk with those people who are giving the girls an out. It is EXTREMELY important that you are all on the same page. If the girls think there's an out, they'll go for it. And all that will happen is that the problems will go with the child, but it will not make things better. Only time and perseverence will resolve it. I would not want to live through that hell again if you paid me millions of dollars. The nice thing is that it ends in a couple of years, and the meanagers suddenly turn into nice people again, but extremely apologetic nice people. Good luck.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I have to comment on the teenage girl thing. I endured exactly the same type of thing, but without the "you've moved me to another country" trump card that your girls have. (Mine had another trump card.) I also had the "pleasure" of my mother adding fat to the fire by offering my teenage daughter a place to live. Let me tell you.... TEENAGE GIRLS ARE THE ANTI-CHRIST. I kid you not. I really feel for you ladies. You sound like you're going about things the right way. But you need to have a talk with those people who are giving the girls an out. It is EXTREMELY important that you are all on the same page. If the girls think there's an out, they'll go for it. And all that will happen is that the problems will go with the child, but it will not make things better. Only time and perseverence will resolve it. I would not want to live through that hell again if you paid me millions of dollars. The nice thing is that it ends in a couple of years, and the meanagers suddenly turn into nice people again, but extremely apologetic nice people. Good luck.

I am SOOooooo buying crosses to put up around the house tonight.

Thanks for making me laugh too Crik

[T.O_2_FL 0]

Good topic!

for you avid Starbuck drinkers...try ordering a 'London Fog' at a U.S Starbucks and look at their perplexed faces! I had to break it down for them...earl grey tea misto, with steamed milk and a shot of vanilla.

I completely understand where everyone is coming from and I at times feel the same way. Granted the longest I stayed down in the U.S was for a month and even at that point I could feel the change seeping in. I live in Toronto so just as another VJer said, there's mass transit every where! In Florida where he lives, it's just beach. Doing anything requires a car which is going to be another added expense. No doubt there will be changes and people poking fun at me because I'm Canadian (if I hear someone ask me how I say 'A B O U T' one more time I think I'll scream! or say 'EH!'), but the bigger picture is that I will be marrying the man of my dreams. I know that he would do the same for me had we decided to have him immigrate to Canada.

In the meantime when I finally make the move down, I'll be making my list of things that I want to join/do once I move and the list of care items my family is welcome to send on a regular basis! Sirop d'erable SVP! Tarte au sucre! Authentic Chinese food minus the Chicken balls!! YUMMM!

oh yea one more thing...anyone notice:

Canadian pronounciation: Niche = neeche

U.S. pronounciation: Niche = nitch

???? is it just something that is said that way in Florida?

[Krikit 1,165]

Add:

Canadian pronunciation 'foyer': foy yay

US pronunciation 'foyer': foy yer

Canadian pronunciation 'voila': vwa la

US pronunciation 'voila': wa la

Edited February 20, 2008 by Crikey!

[T.O_2_FL 0]

OMG too funny! You know what! Just for laughs, I'm going to start a topic just for words/pronounciations!

Crikey! you rock!

[shawna7 4]

Udella and Wiz: Thank you for your kind words..I feel a bit trapped in a teenage hell..lol She won't even TRY here..its such a shame because she has so many more opportunities here then she had at home. I really wish I could get her father to **get it** . Its so rediculous..this was in the works for years..he signed the papers for her to go..now he keeps giving her an**out** and I have no control over it. Maybe when she gets home from school today she will turn back into a person??lol Wishful thinking..I know..damn..I really need a tim hortons coffee and poutine to deal!!LOL

I was even considering bribing her with a car..but that will only lead to more bribery..so..thats out..hmmmmmmm I dunno..maybe I should consider after her AP comes through..letting her go back to stay with her Dad for a bit..I don't want her feeling like I'm going to make her stay somewhere she doesn't like..This totally sucks.

[rhymeswithcandi 0]

Wow, I had no idea that what I'm feeling really isn't all that out of the ordinary. I can relate so much with everyone who's posted. Especially the depression part. I'm not really a depressed person but I feel it sometimes living here. It's like I fit in everywhere but I belong nowhere. That's basically how I feel - alien.

I've spent a lot of time away from Canada the past several years, but here I feel so completely isolated, bored and foreign and I've never felt that before.

My husband and I were at a dinner party the other night and someone asked where I was from. When I answered I heard a female's voice behind me "YOU're Canadian? Oh GOD!" and when I turn around she's grabbing her husband and saying to him "SHE's Canadian!" He looked over at me like I was a piece of dirt and just said "Oh"

Sometimes when people find out I'm Canadian I find myself being challenged as being too "Liberal" I love talking politics but I hate that my nationality becomes the spark of political debate where I find myself defending policies and ideologies that are seen as being Canadian.

That sort of stuff doesn't really help. But my skin quickly thickened to that sort of thing.

On top of that, yes I do miss Tim Horton's and Swiss Chalet and good conversation. And I, of course, miss my family immensely. The fact that I have not been able to go home (see HUGE screw up with my AP) or travel at all makes it even more frustrating. I applied for AP in time to go home for Christmas and I STILL haven't gotten it. I broke down and cried several times on the 800 line because it was just so infuriating.

I think part of what makes living here hard for me (personally) is that America IS very different from Canada but it's also very similar - too much so actually. When I lived in Europe and Asia, the novelty of all the differences kept my senses so constantly stimulated that I didn't have much time to miss Canada. The differences were SO vast that they made each day more exciting than the last. Every day was a school day. Every day was an adventure. I'm not experiencing that here - the supermarkets are relatively similar, pop culture and entertainment are nearly identical, the landscape and architecture are alike, the culture is identical at first glance. To me sometimes it's like a stand-in for Canada that, beneath the surface, bares no resemblance to Canada at all. Like an impostor.