Private eye defends integrity of "honey trapping"

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

LONDON (Reuters) - When Richard Martinez goes to a nightclub or bar, he often goes alone.

But the 38-year-old former RAF officer wastes no time in heading for a target -- a woman -- to flirt with and flatter.

Martinez will not try too hard, but will allow himself to be drawn into conversation and, if asked, will give out his phone number for a potential future date.

Martinez is a "honey trapper" -- or as he likes to call himself, an "integrity tester" -- one of a growing team of private detectives who are hired by wives, husbands or partners to test the loyalty of their loved ones.

"It's growing all the time," he says of his business, the Expedite Detective Agency (www.ex-da.com), which charges 300 pounds ($588) for an integrity test on a potential cheat.

Martinez refutes accusations of marriage-wrecking, arguing that his customers come to him when they are already concerned about their partner's fidelity or when rumors have led them to suspect an affair. But he admits around 80 percent of targets fail the test and turn out to be ready and willing to cheat on a partner.

Martinez and his colleagues -- he has a team of male and female trappers, some more, some less attractive -- record the whole "hit" on audio and video, so that the customer can see for themselves how the evening develops.

And Martinez has "rules of engagement": The target must not be drunk, there must be no touching, and the relative attractiveness of the trapper to the target must be equal.

"It's got to be a fair test," he explains. "So we make sure that we don't set a very attractive honey trapper on a not so attractive target, and vice versa."

"The customer needs a fair answer to the question of whether their husband or girlfriend is loyal."

Martinez says that while many of his customers may end their relationships, other use the honey trap to confront unfaithful lovers and appeal to them to change their ways.

"So we can also act as a deterrent," he says. "The customer can say to their partner: 'I caught you this time and I want you to change' and they can warn that they will use the honey trap service in the future to test them again."

He shrugs off criticism that he is fostering mistrust, and insists he is meeting a real need among British couples. But while Martinez is unashamed about what he does, other such detective agencies are more reticent.

At UK Honey Traps, a service based in Worcestershire in the heart of England and offering trappers across the country, they are not keen to talk.

"We don't talk to journalists," a spokesman there told Reuters by telephone. "It wouldn't help our business."

They are, however, looking for new recruits.

Under the vacancies section of their Web site, the detective service is on the look-out for "confident, bubbly, outgoing men and women with an ability to think on their feet."

Becoming a honey trapper demands reliability, honesty and accuracy, it says, and because most of the trapping takes place outside office hours, it can offer "an ideal second career."

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[Sister Fracas 5]

The day I'd feel I need to hire a detective to spy on my spouse is the day my marriage is already doomed.

[*JG* 2]

Yah, I as going to say the same thing. If the trust is gone, the fat lady is singing.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I wonder how divorce court would look at this. This sounds to me like entrapment.

[Jenn! 918]

Sounds like a fun job!

[DeadPoolX 9]

I wonder how divorce court would look at this. This sounds to me like entrapment.

I don't think it is. Not really. Sure, someone is acting interesting in order to "test" the supposed cheating or otherwise interested spouse, but they aren't forcing the spouse to commit adultery. That is up to the spouse if he or she so chooses. If that does occur, it wasn't be any different that if the spouse cheated with a relative unknown, except that in this case, it's recorded and released to the husband or wife who was suspicious.

I have to admit, I'm wondering what these husbands and wives are doing out alone (or possibly with their friends) at clubs, bars or pubs and chasing members of the opposite sex. There's no hard and fast rule that says you're suddenly "dead" when you get married, but you are supposed to be committed to your spouse. While looking isn't cheating (at least I don't think so), going beyond that goes into a very dangerous realm and could potentially destroy a marriage.

There are plenty of ways to have fun that don't include screwing around on your significant other.

[Jaseball 0]

I get into conversations all the time with random folks in all sorts of situations. I'm also programmed to ask for phone numbers, however I've stopped since proposing to my fiancee.

Usually the fact that I have a girl and am engaged comes up fairly quickly and I'm proud to say I'm taken, so no real fear for me in this situation.

It would actually be interesting to see how a female would approach a guy trying to 'test,' him. In my own experience most women don't approach and if these women are good at their job they should be decent flirts.

[Amby 490]

I have an issue where I never wear my rings. I can't wear them at work and almost always forget to put them on once I get home. Plus, I'm at home who cares if I have it on? I'm not really a jewelry person. I make it a point to tell everyone I'm married when I meet someone new since they don't normally see a ring.

[Ban Hammer 13,347]

I have an issue where I never wear my rings. I can't wear them at work and almost always forget to put them on once I get home. Plus, I'm at home who cares if I have it on? I'm not really a jewelry person. I make it a point to tell everyone I'm married when I meet someone new since they don't normally see a ring.

could always have it installed in your septum.......

*runs*

[Amby 490]

I don't want to make myself ugly charles!

[PlatyPius 5]

Since 80% of the people fail the test, their partners obviously had reason to suspect them. I agree that the relationship is mostly over when it comes to this point. However, the extra bit of proof lets the "cheated-on" feel confident in their decision to end it; they don't have to forever wonder if the other person was really cheating or if they were just too paranoid.

That said, I'd never do it. I trust Mags completely.

[Peikko 1,575]

If you suspect you might be being 'paranoid' as apposed to your spouse might actually be cheating, going to councelling to learn to deal with 'unreasonable' fears would be a better step to take. I don't see any point in honey trapping personally. You either trust your spouse or you don't.

Edited February 18, 2008 by Purple_Hibiscus

[mawilson 2,133]

I wonder how divorce court would look at this. This sounds to me like entrapment.

Honey entrapment!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I wonder how divorce court would look at this. This sounds to me like entrapment.

I don't think it is. Not really.

It certainly could be perceived as that if divorce court considers infidelity when determining who is at fault. And while a married couple may still be married, the relationship may have ended for them long before the actual divorce.

In any case, if I found out my spouse tried this stunt on me (hiring someone), I don't know if I'd have the desire left in me to continue being married. Married people can falter under certain circumstances. I'm not excusing infidelity, but it does happen and it doesn't always mean the end of the marriage.

[Alex+R 0]

I wonder how divorce court would look at this. This sounds to me like entrapment.

I don't think it is. Not really.

It certainly could be perceived as that if divorce court considers infidelity when determining who is at fault. And while a married couple may still be married, the relationship may have ended for them long before the actual divorce.

In any case, if I found out my spouse tried this stunt on me (hiring someone), I don't know if I'd have the desire left in me to continue being married. Married people can falter under certain circumstances. I'm not excusing infidelity, but it does happen and it doesn't always mean the end of the marriage.

I think this sounds sort of abusive. Like monitoring your spouse or something. Not normal.