NEED HELP!!! REALLY... NEED HELP!

[john_and_marlene 162]

Will someone please explain to me why a lawyer is important in this situation????? A lawyer cannot change the law. A lawyer can't make her fiance marry her. A lawyer cannot change her status.

There are 3 clear choices:

1. Marry the petitioner and file I-130 in conjunction with I-485.

2. Leave.

3. Remain out of status without any protections or ability to work.

How could a lawyer change those choices?

[Jason-Sasha 1]

I am not so sure this guy wants to be married. I hate to say this, but I'm blunt......you need to rethink all of your efforts to rescue this relationship. Good luck to you. i'm very sorry this is happening. Unbelievable. He needs a good smack to the head.

[tashyta 0]

I'm sorry to hear about your situtaion. About your fiance, I agree with mox and others that you have to talk to a good immigration lawyer as soon as possible. I wonder though, why do you want to stay in the US that bad? Is it for him, or for you?? You say you want to work. Speaking from experience, I"d tell you that a foreigner himself cannot apply for a working visa, it always must be a company who applies for a working visa for you. Another option would be a student visa but it's complicated because you have to be admitted to the university, etc. And for this, you'll probably have to return to Ukraine (you're Ukrainian, right?)

In any case, talk to your man, and if he doesn't understand how important it is for you, just push some buttons, woman! Don't let him to treat you like this, don't tolerate this. He'll find more and more reasons not to get married, and you don't have a luxury of time, do you? I also had an episode with my fiance long time ago (he was my boyfriend then.) He was stubborn and didn't see my situation as seriuos as it was. We talked, we fought, and I left. I said either you treat me the way I deserve, or I'm not here anymore. It took him some time to come back to his senses but, in the end, everything has worked ouf fine for us. You may have more complecated case, of coure, I hope that your fiance and you will collaborate on it.

Good luck!

I know now that my status can't be changed unless I'll marry the petitionner of my visa who is my fiance. We also like you talking, fighting and I'm telling him that I'll leave. He doesn't either understand my situation and he thinks that I am not serious about leaving (though I've packed already my things and I am very serious). Actually, it was his idea to get me a working visa so that I could stay here. The problem is that I won't be able to come back to US next 10 years cause of my visa expiration, which means if my fiance will wake up, it will be tooooo late.

[tashyta 0]

Will someone please explain to me why a lawyer is important in this situation????? A lawyer cannot change the law. A lawyer can't make her fiance marry her. A lawyer cannot change her status.

There are 3 clear choices:

1. Marry the petitioner and file I-130 in conjunction with I-485.

2. Leave.

3. Remain out of status without any protections or ability to work.

How could a lawyer change those choices?

I agree with you, the lawyer is not able to change anything, he will just help us to fill the documents and help me to change my status AFTER marriage...

[mox 298]

Will someone please explain to me why a lawyer is important in this situation????? A lawyer cannot change the law. A lawyer can't make her fiance marry her. A lawyer cannot change her status.

There are 3 clear choices:

1. Marry the petitioner and file I-130 in conjunction with I-485.

2. Leave.

3. Remain out of status without any protections or ability to work.

How could a lawyer change those choices?

Assuming you are correct (and I have no reason to doubt you) and these are the "3 clear choices," I can see a few reasons:

- A good immigration attorney can work the system in a way that your average person cannot. Filing an I-129F is a clear, mostly uncomplicated process. There isn't much to it, just some documents to file and some waiting to do. Overstaying a visa is something else completely, and about a zillion laws and regulations come in to play, all just waiting to be interpreted by whoever you are lucky or unlucky enough to be working on your case.

- You listed "3 clear choices." There may be some unclear choices.

- If ICE decide to initiate a deportation, having an attorney within cell phone reach may make the difference between being deported and filing an emergency stay.

- We've seen the kind of trouble one can get themselves into when they don't fully understand the process. I get the impression that at least one of these two people do not understand the seriousness of the situation. Based on what I've read, I have little confidence that this couple could navigate these waters by themselves.

Edited February 14, 2008 by mox

[tashyta 0]

Okay, guys

I've just called the lawyer (I don't know how good he is), and I've just talked to him on the phone. He told me that my situation is fixable if I marry the petitioner - my fiance. Now I am out of any status and very much deportable and I will be if I am caught (commited crime or pulled over while driving). I can't change to any other visa.

And john and marlene is right: I have 3 options:

1. to marry fiance

2. to leave (with 10 year ban)

3. to live illegally with no rights and protection till I'll get married, which goes back to #1. (which should be done as soon as possible)

The lawyer himself can't persuade my fiance in this situation. He only can help us to fill out needed papers...

Thanks to all for the help!!! I really appreciate that!!!

[mox 298]

Good for you. I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know how things work out for you!

[tashyta 0]

YOU STILL CAN WRITE YOUR IDEAS AND ADVICES ON THIS CASE. I WILL READ THEM ALL!!! I STILL NEED TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO...

[DerekJ 0]

I'm sorry to hear about your situtaion. About your fiance, I agree with mox and others that you have to talk to a good immigration lawyer as soon as possible. I wonder though, why do you want to stay in the US that bad? Is it for him, or for you?? You say you want to work. Speaking from experience, I"d tell you that a foreigner himself cannot apply for a working visa, it always must be a company who applies for a working visa for you. Another option would be a student visa but it's complicated because you have to be admitted to the university, etc. And for this, you'll probably have to return to Ukraine (you're Ukrainian, right?)

In any case, talk to your man, and if he doesn't understand how important it is for you, just push some buttons, woman! Don't let him to treat you like this, don't tolerate this. He'll find more and more reasons not to get married, and you don't have a luxury of time, do you? I also had an episode with my fiance long time ago (he was my boyfriend then.) He was stubborn and didn't see my situation as seriuos as it was. We talked, we fought, and I left. I said either you treat me the way I deserve, or I'm not here anymore. It took him some time to come back to his senses but, in the end, everything has worked ouf fine for us. You may have more complecated case, of coure, I hope that your fiance and you will collaborate on it.

Good luck!

I know now that my status can't be changed unless I'll marry the petitionner of my visa who is my fiance. We also like you talking, fighting and I'm telling him that I'll leave. He doesn't either understand my situation and he thinks that I am not serious about leaving (though I've packed already my things and I am very serious). Actually, it was his idea to get me a working visa so that I could stay here. The problem is that I won't be able to come back to US next 10 years cause of my visa expiration, which means if my fiance will wake up, it will be tooooo late.

I don't get it. Why go through with all of this if you're not going to marry the beneficiary? What does he have to gain by you being here in an unmarried state? You have mentioned his deployment a couple of times in this thread. Does this have something to do with his seeming inability to marry you? If so, depending on the facts, an attorney might be able to make some sort of hardship argument.

[tashyta 0]

I don't get it. Why go through with all of this if you're not going to marry the beneficiary? What does he have to gain by you being here in an unmarried state? You have mentioned his deployment a couple of times in this thread. Does this have something to do with his seeming inability to marry you? If so, depending on the facts, an attorney might be able to make some sort of hardship argument.

I didn't say I am not going to marry him. I still want. He is the only one who seems to look for all kinds of exuses. Now about his deployment, yet it has to do with his inability to marry me cause mentally and financially he is still in 2004 (the year he was deployed). He is owner of the business and after he came back from the war he found out that he was almost bankrupt. Now he is trying to put his business back to life. That's why I said before that I have no idea when we are going to get married, he is still trying to solve his problems.

[msu17 0]

These financial problems are HIS problems and you are being very supportive of that waiting around for 3 years (from what you've posted). Your immigration status is YOUR problem, and from what you've said, he is DEFINITLY NOT supporting you. In my mind, you have 2 choices, smack him in the head, go get a marriage license again, make an appt with someone who can officiate a marriage ceremony and file for AOS as directed by your lawyer. Option 2 = leave him and find someone who actually listens to you, doesn't string you along for 3 years and is willing to follow through on promises made to you and the government. Getting married and filing AOS is going to cost you a LOT less in the long run than hiring a lawyer and fighting deportation, so really his argument about his business problems makes no sense! Good luck and I hope you can shake his stubborness out of him!!!

Edited February 14, 2008 by msu17

[mariapoe 0]

I hope you'll work it out. FOR YOU. He seems impossible to rely on. Do you really want to get married to the person who treats you like that? Is it your Russian/Ukrainian nature coming out? We sometimes tend to sacrifice yourself to our men no matter what. You've clearly devoted yourself to this guy and he's suggesting you to take care of your problems on your own. Sorry but I'd leave the dude. He definitely doesn't appreciate you and doesn't care about what you have to go through - both legally and psychologically. I wonder what he's saying in his defense?

Take care and good luck!

[TracyTN 237]

I didn't say I am not going to marry him. I still want. He is the only one who seems to look for all kinds of exuses. Now about his deployment, yet it has to do with his inability to marry me cause mentally and financially he is still in 2004 (the year he was deployed). He is owner of the business and after he came back from the war he found out that he was almost bankrupt. Now he is trying to put his business back to life. That's why I said before that I have no idea when we are going to get married, he is still trying to solve his problems.

I don't know what financial problems have to do with getting married. $40 or so for a marriage license is all you technically need to get it done. True, there will be some higher costs involved when filing for for AOS, but at least that would remove you from the position you're in now (being deportable and, in essence, unable to leave the US).

If he is not willing to pony up the $ to even get a marriage license and make it legal, then something else is wrong.

Edited February 14, 2008 by TracyTN

[tashyta 0]

I hope you'll work it out. FOR YOU. He seems impossible to rely on. Do you really want to get married to the person who treats you like that? Is it your Russian/Ukrainian nature coming out? We sometimes tend to sacrifice yourself to our men no matter what. You've clearly devoted yourself to this guy and he's suggesting you to take care of your problems on your own. Sorry but I'd leave the dude. He definitely doesn't appreciate you and doesn't care about what you have to go through - both legally and psychologically. I wonder what he's saying in his defense?

Take care and good luck!

Well, I think I'm just trying to understand his problems. Plus I've been asking him to let me go already several times, he is asking me to wait a bit more and give us one more chance. He asks to wait till he'll solve all his problems... As far my nature, I do love him and I really want to help him (I see how stressed he is!). But I'm really ready to go back home! I'm not one of those women who are trying to stay by any means in any counrty but their own! I am young and it's still not late to start life from the beginning But everytime we are talking to him I want to give him one more chance. I think I should decide myself what I want more...

[mox 298]

I think I should decide myself what I want more...

You're a smart girl.