Problem My K1 visa applicant is here I suspect fraud

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Another one of those incredibly stupid comments!

Once again, bigoted opinon based on nothing more than narrow minded prejudice.

Excuse me, but you exceptionaly rude. There is nothing stupid about my comment as it is factual. And calling me a bigot is the height of trolling.

It's a disgrace that you would decide to attack people PERSONALLY. It is a gross violation of the rules of this forum. The Internet gives some people real big balls because never would they dare act the way they do were it in person. Frankly, the Net turns grown adults into children. How sad.

What the heck is wrong with some people?????

Matt, you might think that fraudulent visa applicants only come in ONE age group, sex and nationality-but they don't.

Robert is hurt right now and looking for support.

matt,I really thought ( after reading alot of your posts and your webpage) that you were far more intelligent than that!

Hmmm...

Michele

Michele, I did NOT say that fraudulent visa aps come in ONE age group. Not once have I said that. Never. I simply pointed out that there is a very high percentage of fraudlulant cases where the American man is much much older than the foreign fiance. This is FACT. Undeniable fact.

Please do not put words in my mouth. I thought you would be smarter than that.

SOME people here are exceptionaly sensitive to the truth of our situation, which is very simply, some of us will be duped by those seeking any means into the United States. Denying this is like saying sky is not blue. Yes, it is horrible to think about, but it happens. Living in denial of this is just silly.

I absolutely flat out LOVE my fiancee and today I bought her a big diamond. Never could I see her being one of those horrible persons that is simply doing what it takes to get into the USA. But then again, how many men (and women) have thought that?

Time and time again friends and family have asked me if I am sure about all of this and not once have I said BIGOT or STUPID or anything else. Doing so would be RUDE. Instead I explain the situation to them. If they persist in their questioning the situation, then I can call them on it.

Edited April 27, 2006 by Matt_Stevens

[PorknBeanz 0]

Robert,

I feel really bad for you. I've read a few of these stories (it can happen to small and large age differences as well as any nationality) and it's something a lot of us fear, because you don't know it's happening until you're already in trouble.

Like others have said, protect yourself first. NEVER be alone with her. A guy on another forum visited his soon-to-be ex-wife to discuss the impending divorce and the next day found out when the police visited him that he had abused her. Look at the difference in size, if she calls the police crying, guess who's going to jail.

As hard as it might be, now is not the time to be the understanding boyfriend. All indications are you're being used, you don't really know her, and you don't know what else she's capable of, or has planned for you.

I hope it all works out for the best.

[ryecatcher25 0]

Jesus Christ!! fine there is absolutely no corrolation between age difference in marriages and rate of divorce. Everyone should have a 25 year age gap minimum. And marrying someone from another culture couldn't possibly increase that chance, not to mention the difference in income levels.

Of course there are relationships where a 30 year age gap works out fine. But they are the exception, not the rule. I don't think it is bigoted to say that as the age gap increases, so does the chances for divorce or deceit. Anyone who thinks differently is just deluding themselves.

[Traviesa 0]

Another one of those incredibly stupid comments!

Once again, bigoted opinon based on nothing more than narrow minded prejudice.

Excuse me, but you exceptionaly rude. There is nothing stupid about my comment as it is factual. And calling me a bigot is the height of trolling.

It's a disgrace that you would decide to attack people PERSONALLY. It is a gross violation of the rules of this forum. The Internet gives some people real big balls because never would they dare act the way they do were it in person. Frankly, the Net turns grown adults into children. How sad.

What the heck is wrong with some people?????

Matt, you might think that fraudulent visa applicants only come in ONE age group, sex and nationality-but they don't.

Robert is hurt right now and looking for support.

matt,I really thought ( after reading alot of your posts and your webpage) that you were far more intelligent than that!

Hmmm...

Michele

Michele, I did NOT say that fraudulent visa aps come in ONE age group. Not once have I said that. Never. I simply pointed out that there is a very high percentage of fraudlulant cases where the American man is much much older than the foreign fiance. This is FACT. Undeniable fact.

Please do not put words in my mouth. I thought you would be smarter than that.

SOME people here are exceptionaly sensitive to the truth of our situation, which is very simply, some of us will be duped by those seeking any means into the United States. Denying this is like saying sky is not blue. Yes, it is horrible to think about, but it happens. Living in denial of this is just silly.

I absolutely flat out LOVE my fiancee and today I bought her a big diamond. Never could I see her being one of those horrible persons that is simply doing what it takes to get into the USA. But then again, how many men (and women) have thought that?

Time and time again friends and family have asked me if I am sure about all of this and not once have I said BIGOT or STUPID or anything else. Doing so would be RUDE. Instead I explain the situation to them. If they persist in their questioning the situation, then I can call them on it.

Sorry to butt in here, but Matt is absolutely right about this. Anyone who gets so upset when people talk about certain situations that are more prone to marriage fraud may be feeling just a bit insecure or are just looking for a fight. In my situation for example, it is not inconceivable for a Mexican man to marry an Americana to get his "papers." They make songs about it for Heaven's sakes. I've heard them-the Tigres del Norte sing "los que van a casarse para poder arreglar"-it means those who get married to fix the papers. It doesn't bother me though because I know that's not our situation. Doesn't erase the fact that it happens. Frequently. Same with the age difference thing. There are plenty of great relationships with a huge age difference-my friend Sandy, whose my age (23), is engaged to a 52 year old man. However, there are those ladies out there so desperate for a ticket to the US to take advantage of a sensitive, possibly lonely, older guy. Works the other way around too-with younger men wooing older women. It's simply a risk you take-to suggest it's not happening is living in denial. As to the OP, see the writing on the wall-she's up to no good. She doesn't care for you and the sooner you get her out of your life, the better (and more protected) you will be...good luck!!!

[almaty 19]

not much to add...i feel for robert...and know in life their are no guarantees for anyone on this site or in life

[tmma 467]

Another one of those incredibly stupid comments!

Once again, bigoted opinon based on nothing more than narrow minded prejudice.

Excuse me, but you exceptionaly rude. There is nothing stupid about my comment as it is factual. And calling me a bigot is the height of trolling.

It's a disgrace that you would decide to attack people PERSONALLY. It is a gross violation of the rules of this forum. The Internet gives some people real big balls because never would they dare act the way they do were it in person. Frankly, the Net turns grown adults into children. How sad.

What the heck is wrong with some people?????

Matt, you might think that fraudulent visa applicants only come in ONE age group, sex and nationality-but they don't.

Robert is hurt right now and looking for support.

matt,I really thought ( after reading alot of your posts and your webpage) that you were far more intelligent than that!

Hmmm...

Michele

Michele, I did NOT say that fraudulent visa aps come in ONE age group. Not once have I said that. Never. I simply pointed out that there is a very high percentage of fraudlulant cases where the American man is much much older than the foreign fiance. This is FACT. Undeniable fact.

Please do not put words in my mouth. I thought you would be smarter than that.

SOME people here are exceptionaly sensitive to the truth of our situation, which is very simply, some of us will be duped by those seeking any means into the United States. Denying this is like saying sky is not blue. Yes, it is horrible to think about, but it happens. Living in denial of this is just silly.

I absolutely flat out LOVE my fiancee and today I bought her a big diamond. Never could I see her being one of those horrible persons that is simply doing what it takes to get into the USA. But then again, how many men (and women) have thought that?

Time and time again friends and family have asked me if I am sure about all of this and not once have I said BIGOT or STUPID or anything else. Doing so would be RUDE. Instead I explain the situation to them. If they persist in their questioning the situation, then I can call them on it.

Matt, I stood corrected and will say again you did not say that ( about the ONE thing...etc etc). I made the mistake of reading the post and ASSuming you were meaning that ( my mistake on that).

That was MY error.

I do not want to get into a flame war with you or anyone else...I have read your web site ( very good btw), and your story on the other site ( forgot the name )....recommended reading!

We all love our fiance(e)s...just as you do.....

Anyway-I think we all ( no matter what our opinions on the intricacies of the situation disscussed here) have the OP's interests at heart and wish him the best.

That's all I am going to say on this.

Best wishes to Robert and everyone.

Edited April 28, 2006 by tmma

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Robert, since it is your house, your computer and she's not even your wife yet AFTER all the waiting and money you've spent to get her here in the 1st place, your spying is completely justified and proper. Send her back to where she came from and have no remorse about it.

dmartmar,

"We meet again Moriarty" Actually, it would depend upon whether she was using a web-based email programme for which he had been given a password or his email programme.

I'm interested in knowing what kind of software this would be, Robert, and how or rather what type of signs there were within the first ten days that would prompt you to think/buy/install it. Robert, you don't have to tell anyone here, but were the email and messenger communications the information that helped confirm a suspicion that you already had arising out of other abnormal behaviour?

If there was more atypical behaviour that lead you to wonder about her real intentions, then I doubt that speaking with her would derive much more from the situation. If she is disingenuous, I doubt you could feel any comfort from any answer she'd give.

On the otherhand, if these communications are the sole reason you feel you might be being duped, then you could certainly confront her, absorb, process, be watchful and determine before marrying what needs to be done. Saving anything outside the home in a safe place might be advisable, just to make sure you have it *IF* the time comes.

Do take care of yourself, and by no means allow yourself to feel in any way culpable. If it all turns out to be a tempest in a tea cup, well there'll be many of us who are relieved along with you. If it turns out to be your worst fears realised, remember that the best confidence tricksters in the world look for trusting, caring, generous souls as the "perfect victim".

Keep your chin up.

Edited April 28, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[Matt_Stevens 5]

So what does this thread tell us? Don't make assumptions about posters.

I should point out that my best friend, who is 47, is engaged to a 27 year old from Russia. She is here in the U.S. and overstayed her working visa and also, her now ex-husband (a US Citizen) did, in fact, beat the living sh*t out of her (very badly, I might add), so that prevented her from being deported.

Right now the lawyers and INS have it and she will likely be able to stay and get herself a green card, but it is taking time. Her man is helping to make that happen. So is she using him? Doubt it. She's super smoking hot and he is a former model and famous martial artist. They seem a perfect fit. So yes, big age differences can be OK. In this case, the 47 year old man looks 35 because of his spartan lifestyle. My sister says he smokes Clive Owen.

I think his fiancee smokes Rebecca Romijn. Yumm.

Edited April 28, 2006 by Matt_Stevens

[iceyspots 0]

I think it is perfectly OK to point out that older men in this country are putting a loaded pistol to their head and hoping it doesn't go off when getting involved with a much younger woman from overseas. The chances for fraud are greater than the chances she is honest and loves you. This is just a simple fact that cannot be avoided.

Of course, that doesn't change the pain Robert is going through and my heart goes out to him. I hope she gets her @ss deported because that is what she deserves.

They have the chance of just as much "fraud" in the U.S. as well

... now I aint sayin' she's a gold digger but she aint hangin with no broke n***a

[kitkat1 5]

Robert

My heart goes out to you and I am so saddened by your post. In between the nasty comments and back and forth here, there is some very sound advice that I hope you take:

1) Report her to INS immediately verbally and in writing.

2) Withdraw your petition verbally and in writing.

3) Document everything to protect yourself - I think it was gsmclean who posted great specifics on this

4) If at all possible, get her out of your house. If you feel some sense of responsibility for her, make sure she is never there alone with access to your things. Be especially careful about your personal information such as credit cards, etc. I agree with the advice that you should not spend time alone with her - best to have witnesses to avoid future lies.

5) Contact a good lawyer now so you understand your options and can protect yourself from any further harm. I think a good lawyer can advise you whether you are better of buying her a ticket and making sure she gets on a plane or if it's better if immigration deports her.

Best of luck to you.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

I think it is perfectly OK to point out that older men in this country are putting a loaded pistol to their head and hoping it doesn't go off when getting involved with a much younger woman from overseas. The chances for fraud are greater than the chances she is honest and loves you. This is just a simple fact that cannot be avoided.

Of course, that doesn't change the pain Robert is going through and my heart goes out to him. I hope she gets her @ss deported because that is what she deserves.

They have the chance of just as much "fraud" in the U.S. as well

... now I aint sayin' she's a gold digger but she aint hangin with no broke n***a

very true......

[StellaR 0]

Yeah more sorry's from me too and you ain't the first to be fooled this way I'd say, I've been fooled more than once in love.

I am guessing you want this woman out of your house as soon as you can, I know I would, before that 90 day holiday expires, she has planned at your expense. I'm not sure of telling her about all your moves, people who use other people do not deserve the whole truth sometimes and tend to use it against you. I do feel sorry for people that do this sort of thing to try to improve their own lives but hey none of us are Santa Claus.

Some good advice from the others, definitly get in touch with someone in Authority for your own protection, maybe even your local police so they know what to maybe expect from her. I don't know they may even do the honours of ejecting her for you. Hard copies of your detective work is a great idea.

Good luck

Stella.

[Ladylethal 12]

Can we NOT turn this into a flame thread when there´s a fellow VJer overstressed with a very difficult situation?

[sukie175 0]

Well it had all gone quiet here since 10:33 last night, until you mentioned 'flame'!

Never mind - it would be good to hear from Robert and know how he is doing with this horrible situation.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

anyone heard from him lately? any resolution yet?