Sooooo....I need some advice.....

[KarenCee 3]

what do y'all suggest....what can i do to help him with the adjustment stage? i know this much....i believe in him and our love for each other. but i know more is needed, or at least i feel like there is. i want to help him make his transition as stressless as possible. please...i really need your suggestions...Joel is the love of my life and i want him to be happy above all.

[kc456 0]

I think it will be important to keep him occupide while he's waiting for work authorization: hobbies, volunteering, school, social clubs, whatever. The hardest part of adjustment that people report is the inability to work and being "dependent" on the USC spouse for income, social interactions, getting around, etc.

So if possible, I suggest get married sooner than later so that you can file for AOS asap. And have all the paperwork prepared ahead of time, so that you can file as soon as you have the marriage certificate.

Good luck!

[Cassie 8]

let's see.......

find a great recipe for rappie pie.....

take him to the ocean once in a while....

hug him lots ........

understand that if he's sad, it's not your fault, he just misses home or family, and it's a natural thing.... especially around big/special holidays, etc.

visit Nova Scotia lots. .......

come visit us in Oklahoma! We fellow Bluenosers need to stick together!!!

get him a really good street map of where you live, so that it's easier for him to track where to find things....

encourage him to find ways to meet people, with and without you....

maybe set up a website or blog for him to post thoughts, what's going on with you guys, pictures, etc. so that he can keep in touch with home and people can keep an eye on what's going on -- we've done that and it's been great for our family

just love on him lots and reassure him that what he feels is normal and ok.

[KarenCee 3]

Thank you.....thank you both.....I'm not worried that we won't survive this.....we've talked about it, and I know he'll have some hard times. That's one thing we do...we talk about everything. This way, there won't be any surprises.

Cassie...I love the Oklahoma idea Might just have to seriously consider that one

[ceriserose 1]

Listen to him. Understand that he may not be able to express *exactly* what's wrong when something is. (Many times I can't put my finger on what's bugging me, but it's usually related back to the life changes with immigrating/marriage.)

Patience, love, ice cream.

[Fandango 1,439]

Karen, I think that sometimes ppl can fuss too much & with some people that can cause wierdness. Not that I'm saying you are, but maybe for him, just being here with you will be enough to overcome whatever it is he's feeling. Perhaps ask him what he would like for you to do?

When I moved to the UK, D fussed so much that it wasn't funny! I don't fault him for it at all, and I appreciate everything he did. But I'll tell ya this: early on, he had everyone and their mother stopping by to see me, spend time with me so I wouldn't feel lonely. There was a party for me where I was like just immersed in all these strange people! And while I am a very social person, I would have rather had some quiet time to myself to adjust without everyone stopping by & me feeling like the latest zoo exhibit

'Behold! The American girl in an unnatural habitat!'

But ITA with ceriserose...try not to take it personally if he's depressed.