The Beltway AP saga

[LadyJane 1]

The thought of my husband’s case entangled in a web of Beltway red tape is overwhelming more as the days pass. So, I have come up with an alternative hypothesis of why his case was fettered off of our glorious nation’s capital. Enjoy!

It was a dark and story night. Typical for a cold, blistery Washington winter. General Blanche pulled down a hat over his eyes even more. For over twenty years, he had moved through various channels within the company and now he enjoyed a position of supreme power. He liked creating the impression that he was mysterious. Even though, in private, he was more mysterious than the public could ever guess. Blanche liked that he was, essentially, two different people. Loving spouse and devoted father by night. Cold hearted recruiter and sentinel by day. He walked past the hustle of Dupont Circle and into the heart of the city.

A metal door was unremarkable on the corner of K-street and Connecticut Avenue; the effect of many harsh winters. Blanche placed his hand on the small knob and looked at the small window. A warm, robotic welcome and the door transmogrified into ajar. Blanche traversed the only way possible: down a few stairs, the elevator down 50 meters, and through a locked doorway into the room. As usual, a photo was hovering on the screen as if someone’s head could magically float. This one was different. The subject was Canadian. Blanche could recognize that immediately from the warm smile and twinkling eyes. “Those Canadians. So friendly, but don’t trust them with a White House.” He chuckled.

Servers were also stored in the room and the constant whirling noise begat loud voices. Blanche found it easy to hone in on the most important issues that way. The subject, Mr. FEW, was indeed Canadian and it was obvious FEW knew certain things. That was why his visage was currently floating above a crowd of 20 top military, civilian and company officials. Worldwide, embassies vetted and screened potential recruits. Only the best were sent to Blanche’s team. Now his team was broken into sub-groups, and they set out to find out more about Mr. FEW. The Google group, the techno-potential group, and kick buttian possibility group had their assignments. Yes, a lot of work. It might have only taken them a couple days, especially if the Google group had their way. But proper vetting usually took weeks or months. But, when one of the job perks is unlimited use of an invisible helicopter then the team had to be careful who they chose. Thorough analysis of public presentations and publications, discrete inquiries into the recruit’s character, and extensive observation of the recruit in their home was de rigueur.

This Canadian, this Mr. FEW, was an interesting character noted Blanche. He was indeed a geek-through and through-and was well versed in electronics, software, piracy, Mac, Linux, chemistry, computer modeling, and mechano-optical systems. Most importantly, Mr. FEW was allergic to Windows, possessed an affable disposition, and didn’t appear to be super techno-spy material. Although Blanche knew appearances can be deceptive, and that the veneer of geek-normalcy would come in very handy.

Blanche knew almost immediately that they had their man. The team recruited only person per decade and Mr. FEW was their recruit for 2000-2010. All the years of waiting were worthwhile! But, the process had to be followed. Just a bit more vetting. This may take awhile. Blanche was patient even though he knew that Mr. and Mrs. FEW were missing each other terribly. Yes, at the end of the so-called “administrative processing”, what an awful name sneered Blanche, he would present to Mr. FEW the opportunity of a lifetime. Just a bit more “administrative processing”.

[thermophile 0]

excellent. LJ, by chance have you been spending too much time in the lab, maybe sniffed a few too many chemicals?

but seriously-whatever helps you whittle away the hours apart is great. thanks for sharing

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Wow, where do I sign up for the LadyJane book club. Very well written, not like the drivel Mumsie churns out. I know the Kafka-esque feeling since my father's in AP too. The separation of that nice couple, the FEWs, won't be too much longer. The adsorbtion that is AP must end, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Transmogrified into ajar, eh, that's nothing I walked down the street and transmogrified into a corner.

Just to add to what Thermophile said, is there a vent hood where you work and is it operational?

Can't help but think that General Blanche must have been a Marine, since he's now looking for the FEW...

BTW, you left out the part about FEW programming in COBOL 60.