Please Help-My Cousin married a U.S. Citizen. She came to U.S. to a Nightmare

[GarynMarie 0]

YOU CAN HELP HER!

You are a witness to the abuse she is enduring. I would suggest you make an appointment for an info pass at an immigration center. Go with her to explain the situation. Find his criminal records which highlight his history of violence (there should be some records of arrest and for what reason) and bring them to the Infopass center.

Then it is up to you if after the infopass she can go and stay at a battered women's shelter.

She is not safe where she is...

But you can help and it seems she trusts you.

Why I didnt think of this? What a great suggestion. Thankyou so much!!!!! Yes its easy to get his records, they are available online. Ive looked at them several times.It also shows his last 3 divorces

[tito 1]

In my jurisdiction, anyway, it doesn't take much to show that the marriage was bona fide as of day 1. What happens on day 2 is really immaterial from the perspective of evaluating the bona fides of the marriage.

In your jurisdiction??? They were talking about bonafide proof for USCIS for removing conditions by herself. Not sure what YOUR jurisdiction has to do with this.

The jurisdiction has EVERYTHING to do with it! There are TWO issues here: the validity of the marriage, and then the removal of conditions by self-application. You are confusing the two. No, the issue is NOT "bonafide proof for USCIS for removing conditions..." the 'bona fides' of the marriage has to do with a basis for annulment. The proof for removing conditions could be done based on the claim of abuse, and that's a different issue.

In some states, it is easier to challenge the validity of the marriage for an annulment than it is in others. So, yes, jurisdiction does matter if there is a question about the validity of the marriage. In California, for example, it is very difficult to annul a marriage based on fraud, and all that you need to show is that the paperwork was in order and that the couple lived as a married couple for the shortest period of time. (That's simplifying things, but you get the drift.) If one spouse establishes that, then there will be no annulment on that basis (fraud).

Two issues. Hold your horses...!

[GarynMarie 0]

I don't suppose turning him in to the authorities has come up? Seems like we all like to harp on groups of people taking advantage of the system.....

His day is coming, but not right now. I want to stay focused on getting our cousin out of that home and on the right path and I dont want her caught up in a bunch of criminal court stuff if he was to get caught at what he is doing.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

In my jurisdiction, anyway, it doesn't take much to show that the marriage was bona fide as of day 1. What happens on day 2 is really immaterial from the perspective of evaluating the bona fides of the marriage.

In your jurisdiction??? They were talking about bonafide proof for USCIS for removing conditions by herself. Not sure what YOUR jurisdiction has to do with this.

The jurisdiction has EVERYTHING to do with it! There are TWO issues here: the validity of the marriage, and then the removal of conditions by self-application. You are confusing the two. No, the issue is NOT "bonafide proof for USCIS for removing conditions..." the 'bona fides' of the marriage has to do with a basis for annulment. The proof for removing conditions could be done based on the claim of abuse, and that's a different issue.

In some states, it is easier to challenge the validity of the marriage for an annulment than it is in others. So, yes, jurisdiction does matter if there is a question about the validity of the marriage. In California, for example, it is very difficult to annul a marriage based on fraud, and all that you need to show is that the paperwork was in order and that the couple lived as a married couple for the shortest period of time. (That's simplifying things, but you get the drift.) If one spouse establishes that, then there will be no annulment on that basis (fraud).

Two issues. Hold your horses...!

Following this line of discussion, I don't believe an annulment in the USA would be the wisest course of action. (Perhaps as your friend is from the PI, annulment carries a different benefit) but here she would have to demonstrate that the marriage was invalid from inception, either the person she married was unable to marry or either that one party was either defrauded into marriage, or one party was not capable of marriage (mental impairment, severe issues etc.)

For her immigration to proceed she would be required to show that her intentions upon entering the marriage were genuine, and that she was unable to remain in the marriage for emotional/physical health concerns as that pertains to the abusive control her husband seeks to hold over her.

[sj5 4]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

I have said the same thing on many occasions. I guess they let this one slip through the cracks. I am sure that with the thousands of cases they deal with that they all arent looked at as close as they should be.

so you're saying that the person checking on his criminal record were incompetent? This is an interesting issue.

[tito 1]

"For her immigration to proceed she would be required to show that her intentions upon entering the marriage were genuine"

Excellent point.

[sj5 4]

"For her immigration to proceed she would be required to show that her intentions upon entering the marriage were genuine"

Excellent point.

[yogib37 3]

I am sorry that she is having this problem.

I would contact the SSI for welfare faud. It is Me and you and everyone else that is paying for this poor excuse for a human being.

also the state. I would contact the law enforcement and let him know he is dealing Prescribe drugs. Easy come easy go. and he will lose everything if cought.

She should contact the police if he threaten her. y

that way she will have some paper trail.

good luck.

yogi

[GarynMarie 0]

Oops...360. Correct. Not the 130. Sorry.

"I dont think she should go back. She is here in the U.S. she has a lot better chance at a good life here. It wasnt her intention to come here and get divorced. She had dreams of the U.S. and now they are shattered. Should she have to give up all her dreams just because of this jerk. I dont think so!"

Things don't always work out the way you plan. The cold truth is...there is NO ENTITLEMENT to immigration. Dreams do not translate to entitlement either. MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people dream of coming to the US to make a life that, to them, represens something "better" but not everyone can do that. A flight home is certainly a lot less expensive than undertaking to support an immigrant for the next couple of years, and that was a risk the immigrant takes. Was there abuse here? That would be the subject of the proceedings under a self petition.

Going back to my initial thought on this - who is it that should bear the risk of situations like this? Should immigrants just be given a free ride if things don't work out with their marriage? There are processes available...but after a month? Going back is a very good option, despite the dreams, hopes and expectations. That is the unfortunate problem that faces every immigrant.

Yes- you do make a good point- Thankyou. I would have to disagree with the "free ride" statement though. I dont think leaving your home and uprooting your whole life to come to the U.S. "LEGALLY" and then going through what she is going through can be called a free ride. Even if she stays in the U.S. -imagine how hard it is going to be starting a life here with nothing. If she stays she has years of hard work and learning in order to make a life for herself. I really cant see how this would be a free ride.

As far as the fact that she was here for only a month? Surely this could be weighed against her,I sure hope it wont be though. I have to be thankful though that she wants out of this relationship now while she still has some self asteem left. Unlike many abusive relationships that can go on for years and years and the woman get so knocked down they dont know how to get out and/or they are afraid to because they dont know any other way of life.

So anyway tito, I mean no disrespect to you. We both have our opinions and I respect that. Take Care and Thanks Again!

[sj5 4]

don't worry about his court papers. Take your cousin out first then go to your local police or state's police to report him.

Edited February 8, 2008 by SJ

[sj5 4]

to be honest with you FRAUDULENT of SSI & attempted murdered (a person he wanted to killed wasn't your wife's cousin so I'd say cannot use this as one of evidence of abusing her) isn't listed on DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN ACT. The Federal of united states will taking care of his FRAUD SSI. Unless if she is rewarded being a hero of SSI.

Please check here: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...00045f3d6a1RCRD

Edited February 8, 2008 by SJ

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

FILIPINOS ARE STRONG.. MY ADVICE FOR HER IS" TO BE STRONG... " AND DON'T JUST GO BACK HOME LIKE A WET CHICK"

FIGHT ! FIGHT! FIGHT!

NOT ONLY FOR YOURSELF BUT FOR YOUR LIFE AND FOR YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE... BE STRONG... YOU WILL GET OVER WITH THIS....

PLEASE PRAY TOO..

[AnchorsAweigh 0]

Seems like she already knew before married him so whats the deal?just dont try to come over here thru a marriage....you told her not to married this man but she never listen....my idea is she should go back to her home atleast she got her family there....and see if she can find someone who she really love and just do not try to use somebody for immigrations and this is not a first time i heard a story like this bout Phil girl sometimes....even in Vn or where esle in Asia....American is not a dream sometimes for somebody.

Goodluck

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long time since I posted and I sure wish it was for something else rather than what I am going to be telling you.

I myself married a filipino woman. On my first trip to the Philippines to meet my then fience, I had (at the time) a friend go with me. He is an ex body builder and I thought what better person to have with me going to a country I really knew nothing about. Anyway! He met my now wifes cousin while we were their. To make a long story short- they ended up getting married.. I dreaded the thought of this marriage because I knew this guy was not marrying material. He had been divorced 3 times and has 6 kids from 4 different woman. All of his divorces were a result of his mental and physical abuse. He has a criminal record 4 pages long. He fakes a old back injury so he can collect SSI and he sells his narcotic prescription drugs on the street for and added $2,500 per month income. I know this is true because he has told me this on several occasions (while laughing). We both live in the same small town and I have also talked to several people that have confirmed what he told me,not to mention all of the other cash work and scams he has going on. How else does someone who is on disability own a 2004 full size deisal 4X4(loaded), two 2000 plus cars that are decked out and in storage during the winter, 2 really nice fully dressed motorcycles, plus 4 wheelers,dirtbikes, and riding lawnmowers, tools up the yahoo-a HUGE BIG SCREEN TV, the list goes on and on. Plus he lives in a low income housing home that basis his rent on his disability income , so he only pays about 100$ per month for rent. Plus gets state supplied health insurance. Get this-the state pays for his prescription drugs and he sells them for cash. He told me this, and yes, he was laughing about this also! So anyway-now that you have an idea what kid of person this is. I will continue about the real issue at hand.

I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007

It wasnt even a week and her hell on earth began. She is not allowed phone calls past 10PM, she is not allowed to have any money, cannot contact her family in the Philippines because it is 13 Hours difference in time so by the time her family can get out of the mountains and into a town where there is phone and internet it is past 10 PM here in Wisconsin ans she isnt aallowed on phone past 10PM. He told my wife on the phone that she (his wife) has the same rules and regulations that his children have. When they go shopping she is not allowed to get any food for her self, she has to eat what he buys for his kids. She isnt allowed to have a key to the house and if on the rare occasion he has let her leave she is suppose to be home by 6PM. Thank God she is at least able to come to our house sometimes. The only reason I think is because we live only 2 blocks away from them. It was 30 below zero last week and he made her walk to our house. If she wants to come to our house she has to walk. Im at work so I cant pick her up and my wife doesnt drive yet. She was an hour late one night and he really let her have it. Imagine a 300 pound ex body builder hovering over a 90 pound filipino girl screaming at her and threating her to send her back to the philippines. We dont know what all took place that night because when she talks about that night in particular, she is really short worded and changes the subject right away. Right now he wont even talk to her. She was at our house again today and that is what she said. Im worried he is going to blow up soon because she has come to our house 3 days in a row.

What can this girl do? She wants to leave him but he has her convinced that he can have her deported and she doesnt know what to do. She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready. She needs some help and I just dont know what to do or who to contact. This guy is dangerous. I wouldnt put anything past him. If she leaves I just dont know what he will do. One of the charges on his criminal record stemmed from a initial charge of attempted murder. That was just from a guy that tailgated him and then passed him on the road.He ran the guy off the road and eat the living snot out him until he was almost dead. His brothers stopped the attack or else he would have killed the man(just for passing him), what is he going to do if this girl leaves him????

PLEASE PLEASE HELP, can someone point me in the right direction. Her whole world was turned upside down when she left the Philippines, she does not want to go back and she shouldnt have to just because this guy lied to her and her family and led them to believe she would be taken care of here in the U.S.

HELLO,

BASED ON THE ADVICES YOU ARE GETTING FROM POSTERS HERE, SOME ARE ENCOURAGING AND SOME ARE NOT.. SOME ARE CRITICIZING AND SOME ARE BLAMING YOUR COUSIN'S SITUATION..

FOR THOSE WHO ARE POSTING HERE, PLEASE READ THE SCENARIOS AND "UNDERSTAND" THE WHOLE SITUATION AND NOT ONLY THE ONE SIDE OF IT. I JUST CANT BELIEVE THOSE SOME POSTERS HERE INSTEAD OF HELPING THE PERSON HOW TO DEAL THE SITUATION, IS HERE TO CRITICIZE AND BLAME THE GIRL...

OMG! IF YOU ARE HERE TO BLAME THEN U ARE NOT HELPING, IT'S BETTER IF YOU JUST DON'T POST ANYMORE.. AND BE MUTE.

HELLO,

BASED ON THE ADVICES YOU ARE GETTING FROM POSTERS HERE, SOME ARE ENCOURAGING AND SOME ARE NOT.. SOME ARE CRITICIZING AND SOME ARE BLAMING YOUR COUSIN'S SITUATION..

FOR THOSE WHO ARE POSTING HERE, PLEASE READ THE SCENARIOS AND "UNDERSTAND" THE WHOLE SITUATION AND NOT ONLY THE ONE SIDE OF IT. I JUST CANT BELIEVE THOSE SOME POSTERS HERE INSTEAD OF HELPING THE PERSON HOW TO DEAL THE SITUATION, IS HERE TO CRITICIZE AND BLAME THE GIRL...

OMG! IF YOU ARE HERE TO BLAME THEN U ARE NOT HELPING, IT'S BETTER IF YOU JUST DON'T POST ANYMORE.. AND BE MUTE.

HELLO,

BASED ON THE ADVICES YOU ARE GETTING FROM POSTERS HERE, SOME ARE ENCOURAGING AND SOME ARE NOT.. SOME ARE CRITICIZING AND SOME ARE BLAMING YOUR COUSIN'S SITUATION..

FOR THOSE WHO ARE POSTING HERE, PLEASE READ THE SCENARIOS AND "UNDERSTAND" THE WHOLE SITUATION AND NOT ONLY THE ONE SIDE OF IT. I JUST CANT BELIEVE THOSE SOME POSTERS HERE INSTEAD OF HELPING THE PERSON HOW TO DEAL THE SITUATION, IS HERE TO CRITICIZE AND BLAME THE GIRL...

OMG! IF YOU ARE HERE TO BLAME THEN U ARE NOT HELPING, IT'S BETTER IF YOU JUST DON'T POST ANYMORE.. AND BE MUTE.

[tito 1]

Going back to the real issue that totally sidesteps any danger, real, threatened, imagined, invented, or whatever the case may be - all we know is about a family member making all sorts of claims about the USC that are pretty extreme and create quite a sympathetic picture for the immigrant. If there are all these records, he'd be red-flagged and wouldn't be allowed to be traveling all over the world. Something doesn't seem right here.

Another poster noted, "how hard it is going to be starting a life here with nothing". To me, that's all the MORE reason to go back home.

But bottom line: what's wrong with going home? That's not blaming anybody, or causing anybody to panic. It's going home to family, friends, all the things the person misses. What is the notion about 'entitlement' to immigration? Packed up and left your homeland and everything behind? Well, it hasn't gone anywhere!! An immigrant who didn't find the streets paved with gold here, despite the sacrifices, can always go back, and therefore, really has very little at risk when you're talking about certain places in the world. Granted, people do leave a lot behind and they cannot go back, but for many people, coming to the US itself is quite an adventure. I always hated having to go home after a day at Disneyland, even after we ran out of "E" tickets.

Edited February 8, 2008 by tito