Please Help-My Cousin married a U.S. Citizen. She came to U.S. to a Nightmare

[Jenn! 918]

She already has her 2 year card. Can't she remove conditions on her own?

[tito 1]

She does...wow...that was fast!

OP: "I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007" OP also claims she had no idea what the situation was. If everyone KNEW how bad the situation would be, was, is, then what's the surprise? What's the big deal? Just go back to square 1, as if none of this ever happened. Consider the few months an eye-opening experience...the cousin got to go out of the country to chase a dream, the dream turned into a nightmare, things didn't work out, so now she can go back home.

BUT...assuming she has her green card, what's the big deal? She can leave the guy and then she's home free. Well, she already seems like she's home free.

[Jenn! 918]

Yeah, I think this part of the OP was overlooked:

She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready.

[Nutty 2]

YOU CAN HELP HER!

You are a witness to the abuse she is enduring. I would suggest you make an appointment for an info pass at an immigration center. Go with her to explain the situation. Find his criminal records which highlight his history of violence (there should be some records of arrest and for what reason) and bring them to the Infopass center.

Then it is up to you if after the infopass she can go and stay at a battered women's shelter.

She is not safe where she is...

But you can help and it seems she trusts you.

Edited February 7, 2008 by Nutty

[diadromous mermaid 36]

She already has her 2 year card. Can't she remove conditions on her own?

Good catch, Jenn! Although, even with CR, she would be left to her proofs of a bonafide marriage. With having been together with her US husband for only a little while, it might be hard to assemble sufficient evidence. The I-751 form, when used by an alien, provides opportunity to select any of he various waivers applicable. In this case, should she have clear evidence of abuse, she could select more than one.

[timenagain 0]

GarynMarie, I am feeling scared for your wife's cousin. The earliest you could help her leave him, the better chance you save her life. Please don't waste time. God bless!

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long time since I posted and I sure wish it was for something else rather than what I am going to be telling you.

I myself married a filipino woman. On my first trip to the Philippines to meet my then fience, I had (at the time) a friend go with me. He is an ex body builder and I thought what better person to have with me going to a country I really knew nothing about. Anyway! He met my now wifes cousin while we were their. To make a long story short- they ended up getting married.. I dreaded the thought of this marriage because I knew this guy was not marrying material. He had been divorced 3 times and has 6 kids from 4 different woman. All of his divorces were a result of his mental and physical abuse. He has a criminal record 4 pages long. He fakes a old back injury so he can collect SSI and he sells his narcotic prescription drugs on the street for and added $2,500 per month income. I know this is true because he has told me this on several occasions (while laughing). We both live in the same small town and I have also talked to several people that have confirmed what he told me,not to mention all of the other cash work and scams he has going on. How else does someone who is on disability own a 2004 full size deisal 4X4(loaded), two 2000 plus cars that are decked out and in storage during the winter, 2 really nice fully dressed motorcycles, plus 4 wheelers,dirtbikes, and riding lawnmowers, tools up the yahoo-a HUGE BIG SCREEN TV, the list goes on and on. Plus he lives in a low income housing home that basis his rent on his disability income , so he only pays about 100$ per month for rent. Plus gets state supplied health insurance. Get this-the state pays for his prescription drugs and he sells them for cash. He told me this, and yes, he was laughing about this also! So anyway-now that you have an idea what kid of person this is. I will continue about the real issue at hand.

I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007

It wasnt even a week and her hell on earth began. She is not allowed phone calls past 10PM, she is not allowed to have any money, cannot contact her family in the Philippines because it is 13 Hours difference in time so by the time her family can get out of the mountains and into a town where there is phone and internet it is past 10 PM here in Wisconsin ans she isnt aallowed on phone past 10PM. He told my wife on the phone that she (his wife) has the same rules and regulations that his children have. When they go shopping she is not allowed to get any food for her self, she has to eat what he buys for his kids. She isnt allowed to have a key to the house and if on the rare occasion he has let her leave she is suppose to be home by 6PM. Thank God she is at least able to come to our house sometimes. The only reason I think is because we live only 2 blocks away from them. It was 30 below zero last week and he made her walk to our house. If she wants to come to our house she has to walk. Im at work so I cant pick her up and my wife doesnt drive yet. She was an hour late one night and he really let her have it. Imagine a 300 pound ex body builder hovering over a 90 pound filipino girl screaming at her and threating her to send her back to the philippines. We dont know what all took place that night because when she talks about that night in particular, she is really short worded and changes the subject right away. Right now he wont even talk to her. She was at our house again today and that is what she said. Im worried he is going to blow up soon because she has come to our house 3 days in a row.

What can this girl do? She wants to leave him but he has her convinced that he can have her deported and she doesnt know what to do. She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready. She needs some help and I just dont know what to do or who to contact. This guy is dangerous. I wouldnt put anything past him. If she leaves I just dont know what he will do. One of the charges on his criminal record stemmed from a initial charge of attempted murder. That was just from a guy that tailgated him and then passed him on the road.He ran the guy off the road and eat the living snot out him until he was almost dead. His brothers stopped the attack or else he would have killed the man(just for passing him), what is he going to do if this girl leaves him????

PLEASE PLEASE HELP, can someone point me in the right direction. Her whole world was turned upside down when she left the Philippines, she does not want to go back and she shouldnt have to just because this guy lied to her and her family and led them to believe she would be taken care of here in the U.S.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

What a terrible, sad situation

She already has her 2 year card. Can't she remove conditions on her own?

Good catch, Jenn! Although, even with CR, she would be left to her proofs of a bonafide marriage. With having been together with her US husband for only a little while, it might be hard to assemble sufficient evidence. The I-751 form, when used by an alien, provides opportunity to select any of he various waivers applicable. In this case, should she have clear evidence of abuse, she could select more than one.

DM, You got me thinking on this point. In this case, it's unlikely the husband will do the normal things a spouse would do, like let her get a DL, include her in the dead/lease of the house, bills and so on...what evidence would you recommend she gathers to have a chance of succesfully removing conditions on her own?

OP, did the husband include her in his medical insurance, life insurance, does she have any evidence that would help her in the next steps?

Saludos,

Caro

Edited February 7, 2008 by JVKn'CVO

[diadromous mermaid 36]

What a terrible, sad situation

She already has her 2 year card. Can't she remove conditions on her own?

Good catch, Jenn! Although, even with CR, she would be left to her proofs of a bonafide marriage. With having been together with her US husband for only a little while, it might be hard to assemble sufficient evidence. The I-751 form, when used by an alien, provides opportunity to select any of he various waivers applicable. In this case, should she have clear evidence of abuse, she could select more than one.

DM, You got me thinking on this point. In this case, it's unlikely the husband will do the normal things a spouse would do, like let her get a DL, include her in the dead/lease of the house, bills and so on...what evidence would you recommend she gathers to have a chance of succesfully removing conditions on her own?

OP, did the husband include her in his medical insurance, life insurance, does she have any evidence that would help her in the next steps?

Saludos,

Caro

Well that's just it, the control that abusers have opver their subjects. The simplest answer is ANYTHING that could demonstrate her interest in a shared life with her US husband, and that showed that they resided together, if only for a short while. If the alien placed the USC's name on assets, as a beneficiary of insurance, will, life insurance that is a good sign of the genuine nature of intentions. Aside from that, she is encouraged to gather anything that could document the control and abuse she was subjected to.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I have no advise --- just a kudos to the Mermaid and other folks for being so non-judgmental and actually responding to the OPs questions instead of engaging in character assassination. VJ needs you, and my hat goes off to you.

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Sad situation indeed to be in a new country, new marriage, new life and have this tyrant be on top of you. It's nice the OP is trying to help, but isn't he scared of the big guy? I sure as heck would be if he had previous charges of attempted murder for something as petty as a guy cutting him off.

All this advice for her to stay and collect evidence of the bonafide marriage may be putting her at greater risk. What if he sees her doing this and finds out she's taking off?

My personal advice would be that since she's here for such a short amount of time, to go home to be with family. If she married this guy knowing and being warned that he's an abuser or of his horrible past, then it seems she wanted a better economic life in a better country, perhaps a ticket into the US. Unfortunately, it became more unbearable than she had imagined. Safety is more important than any GC.

[moelarrycheese 0]

And don't forget, OP, report your scamming layabout "friend" to SSI. They actively investigate all reports of scammers, and can, in time, pull his dead useless ### off the US government nipple.

[sj5 4]

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long time since I posted and I sure wish it was for something else rather than what I am going to be telling you.

I myself married a filipino woman. On my first trip to the Philippines to meet my then fience, I had (at the time) a friend go with me. He is an ex body builder and I thought what better person to have with me going to a country I really knew nothing about. Anyway! He met my now wifes cousin while we were their. To make a long story short- they ended up getting married.. I dreaded the thought of this marriage because I knew this guy was not marrying material. He had been divorced 3 times and has 6 kids from 4 different woman. All of his divorces were a result of his mental and physical abuse. He has a criminal record 4 pages long. He fakes a old back injury so he can collect SSI and he sells his narcotic prescription drugs on the street for and added $2,500 per month income. I know this is true because he has told me this on several occasions (while laughing). We both live in the same small town and I have also talked to several people that have confirmed what he told me,not to mention all of the other cash work and scams he has going on. How else does someone who is on disability own a 2004 full size deisal 4X4(loaded), two 2000 plus cars that are decked out and in storage during the winter, 2 really nice fully dressed motorcycles, plus 4 wheelers,dirtbikes, and riding lawnmowers, tools up the yahoo-a HUGE BIG SCREEN TV, the list goes on and on. Plus he lives in a low income housing home that basis his rent on his disability income , so he only pays about 100$ per month for rent. Plus gets state supplied health insurance. Get this-the state pays for his prescription drugs and he sells them for cash. He told me this, and yes, he was laughing about this also! So anyway-now that you have an idea what kid of person this is. I will continue about the real issue at hand.

I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007

It wasnt even a week and her hell on earth began. She is not allowed phone calls past 10PM, she is not allowed to have any money, cannot contact her family in the Philippines because it is 13 Hours difference in time so by the time her family can get out of the mountains and into a town where there is phone and internet it is past 10 PM here in Wisconsin ans she isnt aallowed on phone past 10PM. He told my wife on the phone that she (his wife) has the same rules and regulations that his children have. When they go shopping she is not allowed to get any food for her self, she has to eat what he buys for his kids. She isnt allowed to have a key to the house and if on the rare occasion he has let her leave she is suppose to be home by 6PM(This isn't right if its TRUE). Thank God she is at least able to come to our house sometimes. The only reason I think is because we live only 2 blocks away from them. It was 30 below zero last week and he made her walk to our house. If she wants to come to our house she has to walk. Im at work so I cant pick her up and my wife doesnt drive yet. She was an hour late one night and he really let her have it. Imagine a 300 pound ex body builder hovering over a 90 pound filipino girl screaming at her and threating her to send her back to the philippines. We dont know what all took place that night because when she talks about that night in particular, she is really short worded and changes the subject right away. Right now he wont even talk to her. She was at our house again today and that is what she said. Im worried he is going to blow up soon because she has come to our house 3 days in a row.

What can this girl do? She wants to leave him but he has her convinced that he can have her deported and she doesnt know what to do. She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready. She needs some help and I just dont know what to do or who to contact. This guy is dangerous. I wouldnt put anything past him. If she leaves I just dont know what he will do. One of the charges on his criminal record stemmed from a initial charge of attempted murder(is this happened after his petition for your cousin?) . That was just from a guy that tailgated him and then passed him on the road.He ran the guy off the road and eat the living snot out him until he was almost dead. His brothers stopped the attack or else he would have killed the man(just for passing him), what is he going to do if this girl leaves him???? He is going to kill your cousin(why afraid of him? I'm sure there's sherrif in her area and you can help your cousin too.)

PLEASE PLEASE HELP, can someone point me in the right direction. Her whole world was turned upside down when she left the Philippines, she does not want to go back and she shouldnt have to just because this guy lied to her and her family and led them to believe she would be taken care of here in the U.S.

[tito 1]

"You are a witness to the abuse she is enduring." I don't think so, unless she actually saw or witnessed something. But the cousin telling her what is happening is hearsay and isn't going to be considered with the full weight it might deserve, if at all.

In my jurisdiction, anyway, it doesn't take much to show that the marriage was bona fide as of day 1. What happens on day 2 is really immaterial from the perspective of evaluating the bona fides of the marriage.

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

In my jurisdiction, anyway, it doesn't take much to show that the marriage was bona fide as of day 1. What happens on day 2 is really immaterial from the perspective of evaluating the bona fides of the marriage.

In your jurisdiction??? They were talking about bonafide proof for USCIS for removing conditions by herself. Not sure what YOUR jurisdiction has to do with this.

[GarynMarie 0]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

I have said the same thing on many occasions. I guess they let this one slip through the cracks. I am sure that with the thousands of cases they deal with that they all arent looked at as close as they should be.