Prenuptial Agreement

[britty 1]

For me, it IS admitting defeat. IMO, the idea that I might need to be protected, means I don't wholeheartedly trust my husband and my marriage.

I am sure that the couples in the 50% of marriages that end in divorce didn't go into their wedding planning to have them fail. And I am sure many of them felt the same way as you do now. I think that if you don't own a business, nor have other property/financial committments in your life, nor have family heirlooms you've been entrusted with, then I think fine, who needs one. As Dylan said: If you ain't got nothin, you got nothin to loose. In a perfect world you are absolutely right, but unfortunately we don't really live in that world. No one gave me a crystal ball, and I can't see perfectly 5, 10, 15 years down the road (wish I could). No one gave me a magic wand so I could "make" people love me forever. How would you go about explaining to the children of your first marriage (I don't know if that's your case or not) that they're not getting to go to college because of your ex decided to run off with his secretary? Personally I don't intend to have one, but to say that someone having a prenup somehow makes their love less committed (and thereby less worthy) isn't right.

I said that in my opinion, and for me alone, a prenup would make my relationship with my husband feel less committed. This is exactly how I feel. I cannot know how other people conduct their relationships/marriages, but I WANT my husband to share in everything I have. That is what total commitment is to me. Everything we have we share, and he is welcome to everything I have and I am welcome to everything he has. That is simply how we feel. We are a united front. If, in the unlikely event our marriage hits some problems, then what I had was his anyway the second I said "I Do". Therefore, we would have an equal entitlement to all property / cash etc.

[BlakeandOlha 0]

My brother inlaw wanted to have prenuptial agreement but my sis didn't agree (she told him to send her back home ). She was going to kick him in curb. so everything has changed..NO PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT[/color][/size]

Ouch! I wonder why she was so willing to kick him to the curb? Perhaps with that response, he might have been better getting that prenup afterall.

[Fandango 1,439]

No....he has my heart...I couldn't give a sh!t what happens to my possessions.....

[Fandango 1,439]

If indeed, my husband's brother was right, and his ex wife can run after my income even if my husband is still working, then definitely we will enter into a pre-nuptial agreement. I will insist on it, lol.

Myla

If you're already married, you cannot post date a pre-nuptual agreement.

[Gringita/Morenito 0]

No....he has my heart...I couldn't give a sh!t what happens to my possessions.....

Amen and Amen.

[Alex+R 0]

It's different when there are kids involved.

[Gringita/Morenito 0]

Prenups just don't sit very well with me. Its like admitting defeat before a marriage has even happened. If my husband had mentioned a prenup, I would have been concerned that he may have thought our marriage would not last.

If my fiance mentioned prenup, I would be a little surprised......then I would ask where he learned the new word....

All joking aside, I have nothing I would not give him, in the best of times or the worst of times. Marriage is forever for me, if he ever felt differently and left me he could have whatever he wanted it would not change me or my love.

Imagine if we said in parental relationship, I have to protect myself from my aging parents to make sure they don't get a penny from me if our relationship changes. Things may be different in the future and I might be out financially. How well would that go over? I will venture to say not extremely well in most circumstances. That would likely be viewed as somehow more "wrong". Why should it be different with the family we choose?

[britty 1]

Prenups just don't sit very well with me. Its like admitting defeat before a marriage has even happened. If my husband had mentioned a prenup, I would have been concerned that he may have thought our marriage would not last.

If my fiance mentioned prenup, I would be a little surprised......then I would ask where he learned the new word....

All joking aside, I have nothing I would not give him, in the best of times or the worst of times. Marriage is forever for me, if he ever felt differently and left me he could have whatever he wanted it would not change me or my love.

Imagine if we said in parental relationship, I have to protect myself from my aging parents to make sure they don't get a penny from me if our relationship changes. Things may be different in the future and I might be out financially. How well would that go over? I will venture to say not extremely well in most circumstances. That would likely be viewed as somehow more "wrong". Why should it be different with the family we choose?

Exactly! That is an excellent point. Our husbands and wives are now our family, just as our parents, children, and siblings are. There should be 100% trust or there is no point in getting married. IMO, if you are considering a pre-nup to protect your assets, there are some trust issues there.

[jom 4]

If indeed, my husband's brother was right, and his ex wife can run after my income even if my husband is still working, then definitely we will enter into a pre-nuptial agreement. I will insist on it, lol.

Myla

If you're already married, you cannot post date a pre-nuptual agreement.

What I meant was that if my husband's brother was right then we would have entered into a prenup before our marriage. I know a prenup should be entered before marriage because I am a lawyer back in the Philippines and we also have prenup in our family laws.

Myla

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Where were all you good people, when I needed you, the last time this was discussed?

A spouse is family. Families share, they don't say, "mine", they say, "ours". If you are too into "me" maybe better to stay a me than become a "we". There is no 50/50 in a good relationship. A solid relationship is 100% shared!

Prenups just don't sit very well with me. Its like admitting defeat before a marriage has even happened. If my husband had mentioned a prenup, I would have been concerned that he may have thought our marriage would not last.

If my fiance mentioned prenup, I would be a little surprised......then I would ask where he learned the new word....

All joking aside, I have nothing I would not give him, in the best of times or the worst of times. Marriage is forever for me, if he ever felt differently and left me he could have whatever he wanted it would not change me or my love.

Imagine if we said in parental relationship, I have to protect myself from my aging parents to make sure they don't get a penny from me if our relationship changes. Things may be different in the future and I might be out financially. How well would that go over? I will venture to say not extremely well in most circumstances. That would likely be viewed as somehow more "wrong". Why should it be different with the family we choose?

Exactly! That is an excellent point. Our husbands and wives are now our family, just as our parents, children, and siblings are. There should be 100% trust or there is no point in getting married. IMO, if you are considering a pre-nup to protect your assets, there are some trust issues there.

[britty 1]

Where were all you good people, when I needed you, the last time this was discussed?

A spouse is family. Families share, they don't say, "mine", they say, "ours". If you are too into "me" maybe better to stay a me than become a "we". There is no 50/50 in a good relationship. A solid relationship is 100% shared!

Prenups just don't sit very well with me. Its like admitting defeat before a marriage has even happened. If my husband had mentioned a prenup, I would have been concerned that he may have thought our marriage would not last.

If my fiance mentioned prenup, I would be a little surprised......then I would ask where he learned the new word....

All joking aside, I have nothing I would not give him, in the best of times or the worst of times. Marriage is forever for me, if he ever felt differently and left me he could have whatever he wanted it would not change me or my love.

Imagine if we said in parental relationship, I have to protect myself from my aging parents to make sure they don't get a penny from me if our relationship changes. Things may be different in the future and I might be out financially. How well would that go over? I will venture to say not extremely well in most circumstances. That would likely be viewed as somehow more "wrong". Why should it be different with the family we choose?

Exactly! That is an excellent point. Our husbands and wives are now our family, just as our parents, children, and siblings are. There should be 100% trust or there is no point in getting married. IMO, if you are considering a pre-nup to protect your assets, there are some trust issues there.

I'm usually getting shot down in flames on another thread ! Oh to be so popular - its a very new experience for me !!!!

[LuzyC 0]

Where were all you good people, when I needed you, the last time this was discussed?

A spouse is family. Families share, they don't say, "mine", they say, "ours". If you are too into "me" maybe better to stay a me than become a "we". There is no 50/50 in a good relationship. A solid relationship is 100% shared!

[Krikit 1,164]

I see this has turned into the annual pre-nup discussion. Here is a post by Diadromous Mermaid which I think is particularly noteworthy.

[Nessa 23]

We talked about it before I came here but we didn't do it, we both agreed it wasn't necessary. I told him I was gonna get married once and for life, he's stuck with me. And I don't believe in divorce. Yes people can change blah blah blah, we'll be optimistic and work on our problems when they arrive.

PS: I would feel terrible if I came to the States without discussing that and he wanted a pre-nup. People should cover every possible detail about life (finances, kids, work, everything) before commiting to marriage.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I see this has turned into the annual pre-nup discussion. Here is a post by Diadromous Mermaid which I think is particularly noteworthy.

Excellent post by the Mermaid.