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Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'

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Filed: Country: Philippines
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Chertoff looks in vain through the cabinet where the Department of Homeland Security keeps all its bills.

AP

WASHINGTON—In an emergency press conference held this morning, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff urged the American public to be on the lookout for a folder that was misplaced sometime in the last 24 hours, most likely in the DHS offices, but also possibly anywhere else.

The last known location of the folder, described as a blue hanging-type folder with the DHS logo on the front, was in the hands of Assistant Secretary of the Office of Intergovernmental Programs Anne P. Petera during a classified meeting with President Bush and the Joint Chiefs of Staff yesterday. It reportedly contains a number of documents and satellite images that would be of no interest whatsoever to anyone if they found it.

"I can assure all Americans that the assistant secretary could have sworn she had it with her when she went through the metal detector," Chertoff said. "According to the latest information, she set it down for only a second right before the briefing, and now it is gone. Officials have diligently checked everywhere from the bathroom, to the top of the refrigerator in the breakroom, to the underground emergency command bunker we were touring this morning with representatives from the Centers for Disease Control, but apparently it has simply disappeared."

Added Chertoff, "It has got to be around here somewhere, so please, if you see a blue folder, say something."

While Chertoff would not comment on the nature of the lost documents, he did specify that there were approximately 45 pages of white 8 1/2 x 11" recycled paper, half of which were three-hole punched, and half bound with staples and stamped "Top Secret."

Though he maintained that the folder itself was not of the utmost importance, Chertoff claimed the contents within had "sentimental value" to the DHS. He insisted that any person or persons who came upon the folder would not be interested in any of the documents anyway, since most are encoded with the U.S. military's most advanced encryption technology.

Chertoff also asked citizens to be on the lookout for the DHS' encryption key, which went missing last October.

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-stri...0,2185669.story

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How about from the Onion?

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dept_...nd_security_has

"This new revelation is particularly embarrassing for the DHS, given last month's news that Chertoff lost the phone number of a terrorist informant that he had jotted down on a coaster. "

Edited by rebeccajo
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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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The last known location of the folder, described as a blue hanging-type folder with the DHS logo on the front, was in the hands of Assistant Secretary of the Office of Intergovernmental Programs Anne P. Petera during a classified meeting with President Bush and the Joint Chiefs of Staff yesterday. It reportedly contains a number of documents and satellite images that would be of no interest whatsoever to anyone if they found it.

While Chertoff would not comment on the nature of the lost documents, he did specify that there were approximately 45 pages of white 8 1/2 x 11" recycled paper, half of which were three-hole punched, and half bound with staples and stamped "Top Secret."

right.......... :whistle:

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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