White Women And Black Men

[Jenn! 918]

Ha Ha! This is funny. Its an old article that came out YEARS ago. Well as a Black woman, I can say that I have dated the whole United Nations of races and ethnicities so I never saw the issue of Black women not being in cross-racial relationships.

I think the guy in the article was being as crude as the original woman was...so in that case he made his point. Both points were a tad extreme but I gotta say that the comments and reasons he made about why Black men choose to date white women.....I've heard that alot...from Black men. Now nothing is ever 100% final so I am sure there are just as many cases of Black men dating outside there race for legitimate and loving realtionships, but the comment he made is also a reason why Black men date other races. Truth hurts, yes, but it still doesn't take away that its the truth.

And sometimes "the truth" is just a bunch of regurgitated stereotypical rumors that fly because no one can come up with a genuine idea of their own. Don't perpetuate this stuff by spreading the hate.

Ain't nobody hating it's the fact.

And the white woman's perspective in the article...was that also fact?

Yup! It was a fact to her. Like I said truth is all relative when it comes down to LIFES EXPERIENCES, just because you don't agree with someones life experiences or choices, doesn't make it any less of the truth to that person. So like I said...sometimes the truth hurts.

That's called an *opinion*, which is not a fact, by definition.

Yes, it is *true* that she holds this opinion. That does not mean that there is any truth to her opinion.

Edited February 5, 2008 by Jenn!

[Marlita 0]

I think I can pick out most of the black members in this thread by their responses. That's not a good thing.

Ignorance plus ignorance = morons.

Wow!! Are you calling me ignorant and a Moron, because I'm Black?!! Why is it that we must be ignorant and moronic when we tell you what we are feeling? What Black men say? If the comments are not to your liking then fine....but that doesn't makes us morons. Sometimes people want to hear the talk that goes on behind their backs, sometimes they dont...it doesnt stop the comments though. i have never once stated that either of the interviewers comments are "nice" ones...just stated that they are honest ideas and opnions that an obvious group of people have. Whether its good to have those ideas and opinions is another thing.

And for you to throw blows at the BLACK members on this thread was hostile on YOUR part. We were talking about 2 interviewers articles and THEIR responses...not the entire BLACK race!!!

[Marlita 0]

Without going into detail, because I will not spread the venom of hatred spewed at me from stupid people, I will say as a white woman in a relationship with a black man, I have seen my share of stares, comments, and hatred directed towards my husband and myself. It has come from black women, black men, white women, and white men.....American and Jamaican. IMO, all of it is due to the person's own insecurities and imbedded stereotypes.

None of it is warrented nor well received.

Even if I was faced with such an offensive letter, I would not respond as either of these two. I have had people write and say stuff just as offensive. I walk away. I am secure in myself and my relationship.

My husband and I have had the same thing happen to us. He's even had a couple of his co-workers ask him why he fools with a white women. What makes me giggle inside is that my great grandparents were black, so technically he is with a black women. Anyway, in this day of age I'm completely sick of sterotypes. I just wish everyone would grow up. There are worse things to complain about ya know?

What? Being Black is much more than having GREAT grandparents who were Black. I hope this was a joking statement and not how you actually think of our culture. ?????

[Mary Lou 682]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

I knew it because of my dad's mom that I talked about being racist. Sorry I didn't add that in there it made sense in my head that you would figure out how I heard it.

Well sorry Amber im not as quick on the draw as you.

[Amby 490]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

I knew it because of my dad's mom that I talked about being racist. Sorry I didn't add that in there it made sense in my head that you would figure out how I heard it.

Well sorry Amber im not as quick on the draw as you.

it's ok I should have worded it differently

[Mary Lou 682]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

Well she did say her paternal grandparents are racists, so is it so difficult to understand where she might have heard it as a child?

I grew up around a lot of bigoted invective too, from my grandparents.

Right, sorry i didnt pay closer attention to what she said

[Marlita 0]

This is only sort of on topic, but in the past few years I've noticed a dramatic increase in black women dating white men, which is something you didn't used to see that often. So... yay!

Thats because it was seen as very Taboo to date Black women...no matter what race you are...yet its soooo taboo that everyone is curious about it, so there's like this wierd secret infatuation with it. Plus it was kinda taboo for Black women to date outside of their race for fear of being "disloyal' to their own race. But alas we are breaking out of that shell too...hence why you are noticing it alot more. I think everyone should just date whoever in the heck they feel like dating.

And yes Black people can be racist too. We may not have gone to the EXTREME of our hatred and racism and White America has but we can be racist against others non the less.

[Marlita 0]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

OMG!!! Where did you learn the N word and how did you know to associate that with a person of color? Someone had to of taught that to you.

[Amby 490]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

OMG!!! Where did you learn the N word and how did you know to associate that with a person of color? Someone had to of taught that to you.

we already went over this...it says my dad's parents were very racist...read the few comments down

[Marlita 0]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

The funny thing about that word is that my husband, as a Jamaican, doesn't see it as offensive. He heard it in music, in movies, in books, in yardie talk..........he couldn't figure out why I had a fit and said never ever say that word around me.

Thats because your husband is Jamaican and not American. He may be Black but that word has more to do with the Black-AMERICAN diaspora...not Black people in general. It is truly WAAAAYYY MORE offensive to a Black American vs a Black person from another country. Jamaica doesnt have a cultural history of oppression and racism that Balck American have. They are truly in a different category.

[Marlita 0]

Good point Jomo.......many black people call eachother the n-word in casual reference....not with a negative connotation

My daughter is a good example...she is mixed (her father is Nigerian)....I've seen texts between her and her friends (also black) saying 'Hey N****...what are you doing'...etc etc...

I'm not fond of ANYONE using a derogatory term..especially this one.

I have seen some discussion by a professor of African American studies who said that younger black people today essentially do not consider it negative amongst themselves, but he believes that it's a subtle way for them to be in control...they say the word first, thereby negating the negativity associated... an interesting theory

This is aload of #######!! They use the term having NO CLUE its original meaning and effect. Thats why you see the younger generation using it. My little sisters used it too...out of ignorance and they will be quick to tell you its ignorance on their part in using it. They will also be quick to go crazy on someone of another race using it towards them...even though they use the term themselves. Its a sticky situation...the N word....but I think its best to NOT use it no matter how coy and endering you may think that it is.

[*JG* 2]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

The funny thing about that word is that my husband, as a Jamaican, doesn't see it as offensive. He heard it in music, in movies, in books, in yardie talk..........he couldn't figure out why I had a fit and said never ever say that word around me.

Thats because your husband is Jamaican and not American. He may be Black but that word has more to do with the Black-AMERICAN diaspora...not Black people in general. It is truly WAAAAYYY MORE offensive to a Black American vs a Black person from another country. Jamaica doesnt have a cultural history of oppression and racism that Balck American have. They are truly in a different category.

No cultural history of oppression and racism in Jamaica? Do you know any Jamaican history?

Let's put it this way........the original inhabitants of Jamaica....the Arawaks..... are no longer in evidence.

[Marlita 0]

Yup! It was a fact to her. Like I said truth is all relative when it comes down to LIFES EXPERIENCES, just because you don't agree with someones life experiences or choices, doesn't make it any less of the truth to that person. So like I said...sometimes the truth hurts.

That's called an *opinion*, which is not a fact, by definition.

Yes, it is *true* that she holds this opinion. That does not mean that there is any truth to her opinion.

If she has been told the reason why these certain men date her then...its a FACT to those men, and a fact to her. Whether or not it applies to the whole race...THAT is an opinion...ie stereotype. So no it is not opinion to the people in that circle...it is a fact. IF someone asks you something...you tell them the truth about it...you stated a fact. if a black man says to a white woman that he is dating her cause black women are not this or that(to him) then that is a fact...to him.

[Jenn! 918]

Yup! It was a fact to her. Like I said truth is all relative when it comes down to LIFES EXPERIENCES, just because you don't agree with someones life experiences or choices, doesn't make it any less of the truth to that person. So like I said...sometimes the truth hurts.

That's called an *opinion*, which is not a fact, by definition.

Yes, it is *true* that she holds this opinion. That does not mean that there is any truth to her opinion.

If she has been told the reason why these certain men date her then...its a FACT to those men, and a fact to her. Whether or not it applies to the whole race...THAT is an opinion...ie stereotype. So no it is not opinion to the people in that circle...it is a fact. IF someone asks you something...you tell them the truth about it...you stated a fact. if a black man says to a white woman that he is dating her cause black women are not this or that(to him) then that is a fact...to him.

I thought we were speaking to the generalizations made, i.e. black women are fat, materialistic, etc. Yes, it is true that she was told this and it is true that her fiance believes this. That doesn't make it true that all black women are fat and materialistic. That's all I'm saying.

And when another poster said that what the black man in the article said was "true", I took that to mean that she felt the generalizations he made were true, i.e. white women are easily controlled and easy to get in bed.

ETA: I also tend to use the word fact differently. Maybe that's contributing to confusion. 1 + 1 = 2 is a fact. All black women are fat and materialistic is NOT a fact - I don't care who says it and what they think is true.

Edited February 5, 2008 by Jenn!

[Marlita 0]

I'm from a white town. We never had any african americans in school with us until I was in 6th or 7th grade and then there was only 1. My mom tells this story about when I was little the first time I saw a black person (I was 3 or 4) I got really excited and started yelling the "n" word because I didn't know it was wrong. She said she was so embarrased and went and apologized to the person. I've never understood why people are racist. My dad's parents are a great example. They're completely against anything that has to do with not being white. My grandmother in particular disgusts me because of this. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to it or maybe I just don't care to see the hate. I wish the world were just butterflies and flowers and everyone would get along.

I just cant seem to understand how a 3 or 4 yr old would say that offensive word, or how they even knew it.

The funny thing about that word is that my husband, as a Jamaican, doesn't see it as offensive. He heard it in music, in movies, in books, in yardie talk..........he couldn't figure out why I had a fit and said never ever say that word around me.

Thats because your husband is Jamaican and not American. He may be Black but that word has more to do with the Black-AMERICAN diaspora...not Black people in general. It is truly WAAAAYYY MORE offensive to a Black American vs a Black person from another country. Jamaica doesnt have a cultural history of oppression and racism that Balck American have. They are truly in a different category.

No cultural history of oppression and racism in Jamaica? Do you know any Jamaican history?

Let's put it this way........the original inhabitants of Jamaica....the Arawaks..... are no longer in evidence.

Your not understanding me Jomo...Jamaica doesnt have civil rights issues like America...yes they were slaves..but that doesnt make them the same as Blacks in Ameica...even Jamaicans will tell you they are different than Black Americans in this regard. I don't get the Arawaks statement..cause we were talking about Blacks and the N word not going as far back as the "original' inhabitants of the country. If we go backthat far the balcks were still in Africa and this whole conversation would be null and void.