What is the best website for finding your soul mate

[Glen Charles 0]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

Well, I am not sure what you know about biology, but most 40 year old women are at the end of their fertility road. The eggs are poorer in quality, the risk of Down's syndrome shoots up astronomically, it is just harder to have children in general without drastic measures. If a woman already has children and is fine with that, why take the risk? This is true world over of all women world over. I think that is a poor argument to complain about American women with because it is biology not culture. I am confused as to why you would be concerned that a divorced woman with probably grown or nearly grown children would have a career. What else should she be doing with her time? Collecting welfare and eating bonbons while she waits for you to support her instead?

I am sure the dating pool of 40 year old American men is not much different, particularly the the bitter and suspicious part.

I think that there becomes a problem at the 'what' a person is supposed to be vs. 'who' a person really is.

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with 40 year old American women in general.

I just don't want to marry one, for the reasons stated above.

In America, because I was an average 40 year old schmuck, I had trouble meeting women who were of a more fertile age who did not have children, bitterness, suspicion, or careers that came before all else.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I never looked specifically online or for any particular race/culture/country... I just happened to meet someone from America (well I had actually met him online years before but that's a whole other story )

I used to be all 'America? Why the hell would I ever want to visit America? I don't want to leave Europe!' before I started to talk to Alex.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I never looked specifically online or for any particular race/culture/country... I just happened to meet someone from America (well I had actually met him online years before but that's a whole other story )

I used to be all 'America? Why the hell would I ever want to visit America? I don't want to leave Europe!' before I started to talk to Alex.

Unfortunately, many people are like that about foreign countries until they have a "good" reason to visit them. You'd think just going to expand your horizons would be enough, but it rarely is most cases.

I never had a burning desire to visit Canada before getting involved with my SO; likewise, she had no real interest in coming to the United States. Of course, both of countries are so similar, unless there was a family or business-related reason to visit, I doubt most Americans would rush to Canada or most Canadians to the U.S. too. It's probably a little different with more "exotic" locales.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I never looked specifically online or for any particular race/culture/country... I just happened to meet someone from America (well I had actually met him online years before but that's a whole other story )

I used to be all 'America? Why the hell would I ever want to visit America? I don't want to leave Europe!' before I started to talk to Alex.

Unfortunately, many people are like that about foreign countries until they have a "good" reason to visit them. You'd think just going to expand your horizons would be enough, but it rarely is most cases.

I never had a burning desire to visit Canada before getting involved with my SO; likewise, she had no real interest in coming to the United States. Of course, both of countries are so similar, unless there was a family or business-related reason to visit, I doubt most Americans would rush to Canada or most Canadians to the U.S. too. It's probably a little different with more "exotic" locales.

I love visiting other countries, I guess it was just that America was lower down on my list than virtually every other country. Although there are many differences between the UK and the US, I felt that I wanted to expand my horizons in other directions

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I never had a burning desire to visit Canada before getting involved with my SO; likewise, she had no real interest in coming to the United States. Of course, both of countries are so similar, unless there was a family or business-related reason to visit, I doubt most Americans would rush to Canada or most Canadians to the U.S. too. It's probably a little different with more "exotic" locales.

I about had a heart attack laughing when my husband called ME exotic one day. Exotic is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.

[Fandango 1,439]

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

The exceptions are in great demand and not available to the average schmuck like me.

I searched overseas. Best thing I ever did.

Erm, so she either has kids or doesn't want kids.....ok

She has a career she cares about....good for her! How else is she supposed to care for herself and those kids of hers?

I just find it so funny....if the 40 year old DIDN'T have a job, she'd be a loser...now she's too career minded

I'm going to stop this conversation because you guys proved my point for me...it's not the women...it's your feeling of 'I'm a shmuck or below average schmuck and no one I tried with will have me'

hence=more buying power elsewhere.

Which is what I said yonks ago.

[Nessa 23]

I was never in dating websites or chats looking for someone to date, I don't condone people that do that, but I really fail to understand why would someone on purpose look for foreign people to date. That's the last thing I'd ever do. Maybe it's just me, but love/relationships are complicated the way they are already, why want to complicate more?

[PlatyPius 5]

Erm, so she either has kids or doesn't want kids.....ok

She has a career she cares about....good for her! How else is she supposed to care for herself and those kids of hers?

I just find it so funny....if the 40 year old DIDN'T have a job, she'd be a loser...now she's too career minded

I think the point was (my guess only) that he was saying that many American women are TOO career-minded. ie: the career comes first. I'd never put my career above my my family (although many men do), but there are many women who do so also.

Another point I'd like to make is, many men aren't mature enough for marriage until their late thirties/early forties. I know I was one of them. Marrying Mags at 38 was my first (and last) time around. Women are nearing the end of their child-bearing years then (at least as far as a massive increase in the risk of pregnancy complications/birth defects). Many men want children of their own. Ergo, if they aren't ready to marry until 40 but want children, they would need/want a woman younger than them. Let's be honest here....this is the US. Many women already have 1-2 kids by the time they're 25 here. At least in my area of the country. If a guy wants children of his own, but no stepkids, what are his options? He looks in a country where unwed pregnancy is frowned upon. He looks for a partner who hasn't been married.

I make no judgement call on that (unlike a few people here, from what I've read), but I can definitely understand it. Why is it anyone else's business how someone else finds their partner? If it works for both parties involved, it's no concern of ours.

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

note: anyone who answers that or agrees may be suspended

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

So American men are immature until they are 40? No wonder the ladies here went abroad to find love!

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Honestly, I think you are all looking at this the wrong way.

Example #1= So, X person has had a bad experience dating so far, decides to open himself/herself to other possibilities - for example, talking to foreign people...finds someone special and they hit it off, they decide to pursue the relationship even further...so what?? what is wrong with that?

Example #2= X person finds something about X culture appealing. Or, one of the things he/ she is looking for in a partner is more easily found in X culture. Decides to try and talk/ meet people from X region. Meets someone special, they hit it off...and you know the rest.

Why do I say this?

I'd like to think we are all at the point in our lives where we love with our hearts AND with our heads. I think after Justin and I first met, I could have shut him down, I could have said "no, once you come back, it's all good but it's over, it was just a fling, take care now, bye bye then"...I made a rational desicion that HE (individual-not nationality) was worth giving this story a chance.

Once again, we met in person but the point still stands, I could have let the opportunity go by and wait for an Argentine-Justin to come along. No way.

Hope everything above makes sense.

Saludos,

Caro

[Nessa 23]

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

note: anyone who answers that or agrees may be suspended

lemme see if that's true:

Yes, Platy, you're weird and freak *runs*

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

Honestly, I think you are all looking at this the wrong way.

Example #1= So, X person has had a bad experience dating so far, decides to open himself/herself to other possibilities - for example, talking to foreign people...finds someone special and they hit it off, they decide to pursue the relationship even further...so what?? what is wrong with that?

Example #2= X person finds something about X culture appealing. Or, one of the things he/ she is looking for in a partner is more easily found in X culture. Decides to try and talk/ meet people from X region. Meets someone special, they hit it off...and you know the rest.

Why do I say this?

I'd like to think we are all at the point in our lives where we love with our hearts AND with our heads. I think after Justin and I first met, I could have shut him down, I could have said "no, once you come back, it's all good but it's over, it was just a fling, take care now, bye bye then"...I made a rational desicion that HE (individual-not nationality) was worth giving this story a chance.

Once again, we met in person but the point still stands, I could have let the opportunity go by and wait for an Argentine-Justin to come along. No way.

Hope everything above makes sense.

Saludos,

Caro

looks too much like algebra

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

note: anyone who answers that or agrees may be suspended

lemme see if that's true:

Yes, Platy, you're weird and freak *runs*

you're safe, you didn't include mags

[Jenn! 918]

I make no judgement call on that (unlike a few people here, from what I've read), but I can definitely understand it. Why is it anyone else's business how someone else finds their partner? If it works for both parties involved, it's no concern of ours.

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

Again, people aren't really talking about the meeting online, but rather the IMB. And I think what you're assuming is that both parties are completely honest about their intentions (which in yours and Mags' case I'm sure is true). What is concerning is people being taken advantage of due to a desperate situation - on either side.

[Nessa 23]

Mags and I met online. Does that make us weird or freaks? We may indeed BE weird or freaks, but it's really no one's damn business.

note: anyone who answers that or agrees may be suspended

lemme see if that's true:

Yes, Platy, you're weird and freak *runs*

you're safe, you didn't include mags

oh dayum