What is the best website for finding your soul mate

[Fandango 1,439]

I have found that in America, sometimes women think that treating their men with the same common courtesy they would give a stranger is some kind of surrender, that they are being submissive.

Eh, well, I have dated a few American men who were absolute dicks, but I didn't come to the conclusion to write them all off and search abroad. I just broke up with them and figured, eh, more fish in the sea.

Yeah, some of my friends thought I gave up on American women too easily. I didn't really write off all American women, but I wasn't having any luck either. Lotta fish but not too many bites.

Face it, American women aren't as marriage-minded as women in other countries. For a lot of them, career is enough, and that's fine if that's what they want. When I met my wife, she told me up front, "if you like to drink and hang out in bars with your friends, if you like to fool around with other women, if you're not interested in marriage and children, if you can't commit your life to me and our family, I'm not interested". I liked that.

I know sooooo many American women who are looking for just that. *shrug*

I knew some who were looking for that too, but not with ME!

So it's not that 'American women aren't as marriage minded' but rather there were no takers for you.

Anyone who can start off with 'American women/men this that and the other' are only using bitterness as an excuse. Not all American women/men are the same...just like every other country's people. I don't think all Brit boyz are like my D....he's himself, and that's what makes him special. I didn't get with him cos there were 'no takers' in America. And vice versa.

[garya505 2]

I have found that in America, sometimes women think that treating their men with the same common courtesy they would give a stranger is some kind of surrender, that they are being submissive.

Eh, well, I have dated a few American men who were absolute dicks, but I didn't come to the conclusion to write them all off and search abroad. I just broke up with them and figured, eh, more fish in the sea.

Yeah, some of my friends thought I gave up on American women too easily. I didn't really write off all American women, but I wasn't having any luck either. Lotta fish but not too many bites.

Face it, American women aren't as marriage-minded as women in other countries. For a lot of them, career is enough, and that's fine if that's what they want. When I met my wife, she told me up front, "if you like to drink and hang out in bars with your friends, if you like to fool around with other women, if you're not interested in marriage and children, if you can't commit your life to me and our family, I'm not interested". I liked that.

I know sooooo many American women who are looking for just that. *shrug*

I knew some who were looking for that too, but not with ME!

So it's not that 'American women aren't as marriage minded' but rather there were no takers for you.

Anyone who can start off with 'American women/men this that and the other' are only using bitterness as an excuse. Not all American women/men are the same...just like every other country's people. I don't think all Brit boyz are like my D....he's himself, and that's what makes him special. I didn't get with him cos there were 'no takers' in America. And vice versa.

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

I'm too tired to get into a fight and I'm not picking any sides (are there any?), but I agree with this part.

[Glen Charles 0]

"So it's not that 'American women aren't as marriage minded' but rather there were no takers for you.

Anyone who can start off with 'American women/men this that and the other' are only using bitterness as an excuse. Not all American women/men are the same...just like every other country's people. I don't think all Brit boyz are like my D....he's himself, and that's what makes him special. I didn't get with him cos there were 'no takers' in America. And vice versa."

Most American women are just fine, I like them and respect them and they make great wives and lovers.

But the 40 year old single women who have been available to me lately are not the types of women I am interested in. Think about the single 40 year old American women you know. I searched overseas. Best thing I ever did. Why not?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I searched overseas. Best thing I ever did. Why not?

Good for you, man. Good for you

[Alex+R 0]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

[Glen Charles 0]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

The exceptions are in great demand and not available to the average schmuck like me.

I searched overseas. Best thing I ever did.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I feel the same! This is an age old argument that will never be settled. I could talk for hours on how and why I ended up with a girl in Russia. As I said, previously, it just sort of ended up that way. It was never a plan, i.e., Give me a Russian woman or give me death! However, I can 100% testify I found a whole lot more life and spirit across the pond then I ever did dating American women! That in itself was worth every day I have spent waiting, doing paperwork, waiting... Worth the almost five years, thus far invested, in every way!

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

I'm too tired to get into a fight and I'm not picking any sides (are there any?), but I agree with this part.

[garya505 2]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

The exceptions are in great demand and not available to the average schmuck like me.

I searched overseas. Best thing I ever did.

My experience was similar. And I'm probably a below average schmuck!

[Scott & Lai 12]

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

I'm too tired to get into a fight and I'm not picking any sides (are there any?), but I agree with this part.

Taking this as a given, then, is there anything wrong with preferring the cultural and social characteristics that are more typical of a particular country than they are of your own?

[DeadPoolX 9]

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

I'm too tired to get into a fight and I'm not picking any sides (are there any?), but I agree with this part.

Taking this as a given, then, is there anything wrong with preferring the cultural and social characteristics that are more typical of a particular country than they are of your own?

I don't think there is at all. However, I feel the problem many have with this discussion is the way it's discussed. If American men and women with foreign spouses from non-Western nations suggested that they preferred the different cultural and social norms of their significant other's country to their own, I doubt very many would take issue with it. Trouble arises when people begin saying things such as "all American men/women are this or that" and then compare them with their counterparts from non-Western countries. The end result is something that sounds very antagonistic and insulting, even though the message is quite similar to the other statement.

All in all, it's not so much what's said, but how it's said, that's the problem. At least, that's my theory.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I nearly didn't post as I didn't want to be misunderstood; but I figured I'd try and explain how seeking out foreign brides can be offensive/upsetting to some.

I suppose for many, they will never understand the perceived double-standard: How the foreign bride thing is upsetting to some, but the foreign husband thing is somehow seen as not so upsetting.

Equally upsetting. One is much more common than the other, however.

I mentioned foreign brides because, well, that's what this thread was about.

Sorry, I'm not bitter about anything and I don't need an excuse. I am very happy, actually happier than any other time in my life. I don't think anyone here said that all American men or women are all the same, but there certainly are some social and cultural differences between people in different countries.

I'm too tired to get into a fight and I'm not picking any sides (are there any?), but I agree with this part.

Taking this as a given, then, is there anything wrong with preferring the cultural and social characteristics that are more typical of a particular country than they are of your own?

I don't think there is at all. However, I feel the problem many have with this discussion is the way it's discussed. If American men and women with foreign spouses from non-Western nations suggested that they preferred the different cultural and social norms of their significant other's country to their own, I doubt very many would take issue with it. Trouble arises when people begin saying things such as "all American men/women are this or that" and then compare them with their counterparts from non-Western countries. The end result is something that sounds very antagonistic and insulting, even though the message is quite similar to the other statement.

All in all, it's not so much what's said, but how it's said, that's the problem. At least, that's my theory.

Exactly. It may seem like a very minor difference but it's worth making the distinction. I too find certain other cultures fascinating and I can understand how a person may be attracted to someone of that culture, but I try to abstain from making sweeping generalisations that don't permit for exceptions.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

Well, I am not sure what you know about biology, but most 40 year old women are at the end of their fertility road. The eggs are poorer in quality, the risk of Down's syndrome shoots up astronomically, it is just harder to have children in general without drastic measures. If a woman already has children and is fine with that, why take the risk? This is true world over of all women world over. I think that is a poor argument to complain about American women with because it is biology not culture. I am confused as to why you would be concerned that a divorced woman with probably grown or nearly grown children would have a career. What else should she be doing with her time? Collecting welfare and eating bonbons while she waits for you to support her instead?

I am sure the dating pool of 40 year old American men is not much different, particularly the the bitter and suspicious part.

I think that there becomes a problem at the 'what' a person is supposed to be vs. 'who' a person really is.

[Imua 0]

Think about the single 40 year old American women you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

The average single 40-year-old woman has at least a couple of kids, a career she cares a great deal about, has been in damaging relationships that have made them bitter or at least suspicious, does not want to have kids, etc.

Odds are, if you look at the single 40 year old women around you, you would agree.

Well, I am not sure what you know about biology, but most 40 year old women are at the end of their fertility road. The eggs are poorer in quality, the risk of Down's syndrome shoots up astronomically, it is just harder to have children in general without drastic measures. If a woman already has children and is fine with that, why take the risk? This is true world over of all women world over. I think that is a poor argument to complain about American women with because it is biology not culture. I am confused as to why you would be concerned that a divorced woman with probably grown or nearly grown children would have a career. What else should she be doing with her time? Collecting welfare and eating bonbons while she waits for you to support her instead?

I am sure the dating pool of 40 year old American men is not much different, particularly the the bitter and suspicious part.

I think that there becomes a problem at the 'what' a person is supposed to be vs. 'who' a person really is.

[Jeraly 4]

I wasn't even looking for a relationship when my OH an I got (back) together. I was fed up with men in general and decided I wasn't going to get with anyone unless I was convinced they were worth it and we had a future together. We took baby steps at first

I never looked specifically online or for any particular race/culture/country... I just happened to meet someone from America (well I had actually met him online years before but that's a whole other story )