Real Talk

[ForeverAmen 0]

I am proudly african-american and I have lived in Georgia for one dreadful year. There is racism from white people to black people and from southern blacks to northern blacks. I HATED IT. So I packed up my crew and left the south and came right back to the mid-west.

*closes eyes, clicking heels* "there's no place like home, there's no place like home!"

Wow! Was it that bad? Sorry things did not work out.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I am proudly african-american and I have lived in Georgia for one dreadful year. There is racism from white people to black people and from southern blacks to northern blacks. I HATED IT. So I packed up my crew and left the south and came right back to the mid-west.

*closes eyes, clicking heels* "there's no place like home, there's no place like home!"

Awwww man! Ya'll are not even helping. My sweetie has his heart set on moving closer to family. His family is in Missouri (somewhere else I didn't know black people lived but I've since learned of St. Louis). So, it's either Georgia or Missouri. I figure if I have to start over I want to feel some benefit out of it. I've convinced him to give NY a go first but I think he's thinking 1 year tops. Horrible man. He's planning to impregnate me asap. I think that's why he wants me near my mama!

I guess this should be on the other post, some other post, but anyway. Do ya'll have plans for kids? My poor Bassi is hung up on me having his babies. Key is the plural, not the singular. I very much want to have babies but I'm such a worry wart and a planner that I feel like we have to have a 5 year plan. But I'm 33 so five years is pushing it. Do you guys have plans? Or have talked about it?

[Queen Jenn 0]

Well, we sort of have a plan. I'm 31, so multiple babies will have to be accomplished within about 5-6 years. I really don't want to still be poppin' em out when I'm 40 - too many risks for complications.

Sooo, our tentative plan is to get him here (obviously), have one year to ourselves (and to save $$$ for the babies), and then start trying to get pregnant.

We'll see how it works

[We_Destiny 1]

Well, we sort of have a plan. I'm 31, so multiple babies will have to be accomplished within about 5-6 years. I really don't want to still be poppin' em out when I'm 40 - too many risks for complications.

Sooo, our tentative plan is to get him here (obviously), have one year to ourselves (and to save $$$ for the babies), and then start trying to get pregnant.

We'll see how it works

Hey!! us older gals still think we can produce bambinos.

[Perseverance 1]

My husband was all about babies until he came here and saw how expensive it is...(I have 3 from my first marriage) now he says when we can afford it. I dont know when that will be, can you ever afford it? I told that if I am not pregnant by 2010 that there may not be any babies for us... kinda makes me sad. My kids are growing up so fast....people that I work with are having babies... I envy those of you who have more time. I really wanted to share that with my husband...dont get me wrong he is great to my children, I just wanted to go through the entire experience with him.

[Simply_Uno 1]

lets see, to address your question "was it really that bad??"" HELL

[Simply_Uno 1]

I could not edit, the diggity dang on button has a mind of its own!!!

But my reply was and still is "HELL YEAH!!!" Life for me and my kids living in Georgia (college park) "colli-pawk" was the equivalent to living in HELL!!! But every thing aint for every body. Now don't get me wrong, I do have family down south, but, thats as far as it goes!!

p.s. yes my husband wants children, but I got my plumbing tied several years ago, so he has to accept the ones I have or have some on the outside. I don't have a problem with that as long as he gives UNO a divorce. I don't accept no strays, that goes for cats, dogs and children.

Edited February 5, 2008 by unononehigher

[ose_n_me 0]

Well, we sort of have a plan. I'm 31, so multiple babies will have to be accomplished within about 5-6 years. I really don't want to still be poppin' em out when I'm 40 - too many risks for complications.

Sooo, our tentative plan is to get him here (obviously), have one year to ourselves (and to save $$$ for the babies), and then start trying to get pregnant.

We'll see how it works

Hey!! us older gals still think we can produce bambinos.

...Thank you We_Destiny!!! I just turned 43, and have 3 kids (21, 20, 13) I thought I was finished with children. I was looking forward to having a life of my own finally. When I met my SO, the first thing I told him was that I didnt want any more kids. He was completely fine with it. It never came up after that. Then as I started falling in love with him and after we married, I realized that I wanted more than anything to have his child(ren). One day, when we were talking online..out of the blue I said. "baby, I want us to make a baby together" He about had a heart attack. He called me right at that moment cuz he said he had to hear it from me, to make sure he wasnt seeing things! Then he started crying, and we both sat there and cried together for several minutes on the phone. Since then we have had many discussions about my age, and the risks involved..including me not being able to conceive...but we both feel that if it is meant to be, God will bless us with a miracle (or 2!) and we will be thankful for whatever God gives us. I am healthy, and very young at heart, so I am confident I can handle it physically. Its the mental part that I worry about! lol (OMG..no sleep, diapers, tantrums, potty-training, childcare, all over again)

After all...40 is the new 30, and women have been having babies later in life for a long time now!! I am extremely excited about getting pregnant and having another child, and we plan to get started ASAP....

[JJWashington 0]

I live in Seattle and its actually pretty laid back here. The population is diverse. Whites are the majority, but I see a lot of bi-racial couples and I've never heard anyone say anthing about it. The attitude here is "live your life". Real liberal and not judgemental.

[Zee Bee 61]

I guess this should be on the other post, some other post, but anyway. Do ya'll have plans for kids? My poor Bassi is hung up on me having his babies. Key is the plural, not the singular. I very much want to have babies but I'm such a worry wart and a planner that I feel like we have to have a 5 year plan. But I'm 33 so five years is pushing it. Do you guys have plans? Or have talked about it?

I guess I am on the younger side of this discussion: I am 26, my fiance is 28, so we have some time. My fiance wants kids like yesterday, and while I want children (at the most 3) I want us to have time to ourselves first before we have any (I told him 2 years).

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

...Thank you We_Destiny!!! I just turned 43, and have 3 kids (21, 20, 13) I thought I was finished with children. I was looking forward to having a life of my own finally. When I met my SO, the first thing I told him was that I didnt want any more kids. He was completely fine with it. It never came up after that. Then as I started falling in love with him and after we married, I realized that I wanted more than anything to have his child(ren). One day, when we were talking online..out of the blue I said. "baby, I want us to make a baby together" He about had a heart attack. He called me right at that moment cuz he said he had to hear it from me, to make sure he wasnt seeing things! Then he started crying, and we both sat there and cried together for several minutes on the phone. Since then we have had many discussions about my age, and the risks involved..including me not being able to conceive...but we both feel that if it is meant to be, God will bless us with a miracle (or 2!) and we will be thankful for whatever God gives us. I am healthy, and very young at heart, so I am confident I can handle it physically. Its the mental part that I worry about! lol (OMG..no sleep, diapers, tantrums, potty-training, childcare, all over again)

After all...40 is the new 30, and women have been having babies later in life for a long time now!! I am extremely excited about getting pregnant and having another child, and we plan to get started ASAP....

That is such a sweet story. I hope you have a baby together too! lol!

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Bassi's mother loves my daughter and wants more, right away. She loves kids and only has three grandbabies, plus my daughter makes four. She expects me to make up the difference. Having children is really expensive. I also don't live near family, so I pay out the nose for child care all the time. Even to just see an adult movie costs extra for a babysitter. No sister or cousin or grandma nearby to watch the kids for a couple of hours. I paid $200 a week for childcare for my daughter as a baby. And that was discounted. It's really a killer. If I could stay home, then cool. I really, really doubt Bassi would ever consider staying home. I could see that breaking his spirit. But God will provide and we'll figure it out. I'd also like to adopt at some point, which biology doesn't have to play a large part of.

[ara 0]

Hey Uno I thought it was better once you got closer to Atlanta. Thanks for the heads up. I have lived in southern Georgia my whole life but I would love for my husband and I to live somewhere where he and I can both relate you know what I mean. That is something I would definitely have to check out. Change has always been hard for me because I am so shy but I want a change from this city more than ever.

Zainab I would move to St.Louis if I were you it sounds like a really cool place to live just think things over long and hard before you make a decision.

On the baby thing my husband wants kids like yesterday too. We have time I am 29 he is 30 and I am kind of trying to wait because I just got him here and I want him all to myself right now but I guess we'll see what happens.

[ForeverAmen 0]

Uno - sorry about your experience.

As for the baby - we do not have any children. However, by this summer we hope to start trying. For my husband having children is very important. For me - I'm fine either way. I LOVE to travel, especially when we run across a last minute e-saver deal. Having children will certainly put a damper on our plans. Neither one of us have any family members near by, and most of my friends are single with no children. So baby sitting will become a challenge. But oh well - we shall sit back and let God have His way.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Hey Uno I thought it was better once you got closer to Atlanta. Thanks for the heads up. I have lived in southern Georgia my whole life but I would love for my husband and I to live somewhere where he and I can both relate you know what I mean. That is something I would definitely have to check out. Change has always been hard for me because I am so shy but I want a change from this city more than ever.

Zainab I would move to St.Louis if I were you it sounds like a really cool place to live just think things over long and hard before you make a decision.

On the baby thing my husband wants kids like yesterday too. We have time I am 29 he is 30 and I am kind of trying to wait because I just got him here and I want him all to myself right now but I guess we'll see what happens.

Hey Ara,

I was just speaking on my experience! I am accustomed to a certain life style. I am a midwestener through and through. So my moving "south" and noticing the different levels of "quality of life" which they considered standard, was substandard to "me". The educational system was severely lacking from my perspective. My children are considered "exceptional" from a standardized educational perspective and for them to have to repeat subjects "there" that they already have covered "here" was a kick in the face. Not to mention because we have "yankee" accents, we were singled out in a negative way. That was also the first time my children had experienced an "all black" school system. So the "atmosphere" left ALOT to be desired. I noticed that the adults were complacent and lacking in their parenting skills. They had a false sense of security and accomplishment. The economy was "poor". The healthcare, childcare, and social systems were operating under "poor" conditions. And one thing that my kids brought to my attention (I had already noticed), the boys clothes were too big for them and the girls clothing were too small for them. We also could not get over the fact that every woman regardless of age wanted to dress like a "fly girl" and every man thought he was a "baller, shot caller". I can't explain it, but the mentality down in the south, is mind boggling. But as I stated, I can only speak upon "UNOz" experiences, not anyone elses. For some one else, it might be "all gravey baby", but for me, it was "hell on earth!"

Okay, I'm done.