Alien divorce USC

[StillThePrettiest 3]

home IS an option, but it shouldn't be obligatory

as I mentioned above, I'm REALLY not relishing the upcoming move, and all the disruption and cost, partly because I've done it once already, when I moved from Sydney, Australia, to London, more than three years ago... now, as I say, if my current relationship were to fail I canNOT see myself wanting to stay in America under any circumstances, but if it were somewhere I DID actually like, maybe I would wish to stay, not because I didn't like home anymore, but simply because it would be the THIRD major international move I'd be undertaking in a relatively short time

and if, again as I said above, I'd managed to find a job and start making friends and so on, I shouldn't HAVE to give them up and start over for a third time, if I'd entered into the marriage in good faith... the trauma of the break-up would be bad enough; I shouldn't have to give up everything else as well

so: no 'allure', definitely, and the only 'big deal' would be some compassion and understanding maybe being shown to someone who had gone through a hell of a lot and started all over again, and not forcing them to go through it once more

[tito 1]

Once again - I wish you the best! The [enter the supreme being of your choice] willing, things will work out perfectly, and I, for one, absolutely support that.

MY issue is the immigrant who comes to the US to marry, things don't work out, they are miserable, come on this forum and complain about citizenship and green cards, yet don't contemplate what would, PERHAPS, be the best option...and that is just going home; or, others who just come here for the green card and feel that they have a right to it, when there is no such right. And BOTH those situations happen quite a bit.

[mtracksport 0]

Tito , if it would not be to much of a imposition, what is your story? don't beleive i have seen it before. just curios. it seems to me that you might have gone through something along these lines in the past and might have got burned. if that is the case i hope you can find closure and move on with your life. hatred has a way of building up in a person to the point of self destruction. when i left Viet-Nam i was full of hatred. i had lost ALL of my friends in combat and i kept going back for more. (guilty concience ) 54 months total without not more than 10 days at a time at home and went back because people did not understand what we were fighting for. it took a long time for me to get over it. what i am trying to say is that there are more important things in life than worrying about who gets this and who gets that. drive on and live life to the fullest. AL

[tito 1]

I sacrificed quite a bit for a relationship that didn't work out. The circumstances were sad and difficult, but there's no bitterness, anger, or any of the negativity you apparently perceive. In the course of my journey, however, I have encountered many situations where the USC was used and abused, and the story is very much of the time one where the immigrant is looking to secure the green card, regardless of the path left behind. The disgruntled proposed immigrant in those circumstances does and says anything, to the point of accusing an innocent spouse of abuse... Too often, I see that the marital relationship is merely a stepping stone, and not the end-all as a marriage should be...that the marriage is just a means to an end, and that the immigrant isn't vested in the relationship. To me, immigration should be, and I think the system is designed to make it, a by-product of the marriage, but it's the intense volume of the abuses of the system that have hardened my view... But my personal experience aside, and there were a number of reasons for that experience that are really irrelevant and have absolutely no bearing on anything, rather than struggle for a green card, my question at the outset of this discussion was, and remains, why isn't going home an option? The question was not directed entirely at the OP about whom I, in particular, know absolutely nothing, and whose circumstances are unknown to me; however, in general terms, I question the propriety of the idea that immigration should be guaranteed just because of a marriage...I think that there should be something more involved, and if not, the immigrant should not be entitled to ANYTHING...not any special treatment or dispensation...immigration is a privilege, NOT a right. The solution? I don't know. I suppose that the current processes are the best that can be utilized, the abuses notwithstanding. In the end, it would be better to let in 100 immigrants whose motives are suspect than to prohibit only 1 immigrant whose circumstances warrant the grant of residency status...just as it would be better to let 100 guilty suspects run free than to convict one innocent one.

But I hold no anger or disdain. Occasional sadness, and remorse, but no...nothing beyond that. I've been able to let go, to the extent there was something to let go of. Onward and forward! But for spouses along for the ride just to get a green card, no matter what it takes? I have little compassion. Home is still a viable alternative as far as I am concerned.

[Kiv 32]

MY issue is the immigrant who comes to the US to marry, things don't work out, they are miserable, come on this forum and complain about citizenship and green cards, yet don't contemplate what would, PERHAPS, be the best option...and that is just going home; or, others who just come here for the green card and feel that they have a right to it, when there is no such right. And BOTH those situations happen quite a bit.

PERHAPS there is a big number of people who, after having a heart broken decides to go back home, but to follow that option they may not need to visit this forum. PERHAPS we can only read in VJ about people who analized their options and wants to stay in the US because of the type of information that is shared here...

Good luck to the OP in whatever you decide to do...

[mtracksport 0]

Tito , sorry i did not get back to you earlier but my day has been terrible. after reading your post i can understand a little better where you are coming from. i have a good one for you now . at 5pm today my office manager (who has been missing in action since thursday called me from home)she has a big problem// she EWI as a child at the age of 3. she married a jerk 3 yrs ago ( also an employee until he gets out of the hospital on tuesday) she just got out of the hospital friday afternoon because he beat her up. he is nowhere to be found right now. she got sick a yr ago and was told she needs a kidney transplant. she is on a machine at night so not very romanticly involved right now. she filed for divorce and got a restraining order against him. I filled out the I-130 for them 2 yrs ago and he was supposed to send it in. guess he forgot. (yeh - right).he has been telling his co-workers that he doesn't want damaged goods and he wished she would get the hint and go back home to mexico. he said he never had intentions of getting her a green card. I did not know she was illegal. She has worked for me for 5 yrs,has a hs diploma, and a college degree AA , and is very well spoken. NO family in mexico, mom deceased, father unknown. what can she do?? i am going to contact a attorney on monday and see what can be done. any ideas???

[tito 1]

Options are limited for those unfortunate circumstances. If there were assurances on the part of the USC for marriage and green card, and then the restraining order and evidence of physical abuse such as hospitalization, the case would seem to me, at first blush, to be a slam dunk for an I-130 application. But I certainly cannot dispense any advice either way. However, for the 130, the USC has no involvement and doesn't even know what happens. She should be sure that she includes her medical records and the restraining order and any other evidence of the relationship and how long it lasted.

[Mags 112]

My criticism goes towards the multitudes who are not, and who, like it or not, seem to comprise the majority of divorced or divorcing immigrants looking for their green card.

And this line of your quote is why I posted what I did. You appeared to be assuming that the OP only wished to stay for a GC and that she should go home, rather than to continue with her immigration process. Once more I stress that you DO NOT know what her circumstances are and she asked a very simple question yet got a judgement.

By misguided I was referring to your thoughts that all beneficiaries should return to their country of origins rather than stay, if they got divorced, even if they WERE genuine in their application for residency. As you yourself are NOT a beneficiary and have not experienced what they have to give up to move here I do not feel you should be demanding that they all go home.

[tito 1]

But you are reading that into what I posted. I never demanded that everybody go home...I said that it is a VERY VIABLE OPTION. And I DO firmly believe that the immigration process is a privilege, NOT a right just because an immigrant married a USC. Rather than assume that the immigrant should stay, I believe that the process should be that the first option is to return home, UNLESS the immigrant can show special circumstances as in the case of the many examples here where the relationship involved something more than plane fare and empty promises. The statistics are not very good in favor of successes of cross-cultural marriages, sorry to say, yet why, then, should an immigrant have special status simply because of a marriage to a USC? That is a RISK that both the USC AND the immigrant take. Otherwise, the immigrant gets all the choices, whereas the USC is stuck with supporting the immigrant for 10 years! Is that right? The risk for the success of the relationship was undertaken jointly, but in reality, if things don't work out, the USC is on the hook, and the immigrant gets a green card. To me, that is stacking the deck against the USC.

Again - when it comes to the responsibility for the risk jointly undertaken, why should the risk of the USC be so much more burdensome? The immigrant has the option of returning, of staying and making the most out of the situation, regardless of their actual commitment to the relationship that got them here in the first place. To show fraudulent intent is virtually impossible!!! So, why SHOULDN'T the immigrant bear the responsibility for the choices he or she makes??? Many of them give up a lot to move here, that is true...but the fact remains that the life they left behind is STILL AVAILABLE TO THEM!!! So, what did or does the immigrant really give up that they can't have back? Family? No...still there. A house? Maybe, but they're no worse off than looking for a house in the US. A job? Sure...but there are always jobs, and are no worse off than they would be in the US looking for a job. What is it about the right to be in the US that is so special that anything less or anything going back is so bad??? Again - yes, there is a risk in any relationship. But as far as immigration is concerned, it's a privilege, and not one that should be automatic just because of a marriage. Why SHOULD the USC be the one who bears the brunt of the risk if things don't work out??? THAT is the question.

Not at all misguided. In fact, this analysis is beyond the superficial and contemplates the totality of the circumstances, not just the buzz words...that's just rhetoric. The sacrifices on the part of the immigrant are not irrevocable.

[Boiler 45,519]

Love seems to have been mentioned quite a few times, USCIS do not require love..

I can think of a few people I know who are USC's got married, and one has had to move across county, sometimes further than an Immigrant. But then if the marriage fails, do they always move back if they have settled?

If you have immigrated to the US in the last few years, sold up moved some or all of your assets over, bought a house, financially it will probably just not be possible to move back into a similar situation with your now depreciated asset and the way the Dollar has crashed. One step forward, but two to go back.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

What is the chances of being successful in applying for I751 with a waiver if the alien spouse was the one who divorce the USC spouse?

I would sort of hope that, if the alien came here on the good graces of the efforts and time and expense of a US Citizen, and they didn't like the relationship, rather than wanting to become a citizen, the immigrant should consider returning to their country of origin on their own, or be deported. Sorry...but if things didn't work out with your ticket to the US, have some pride and move along. Or contribute something substantial to the society or economy or well-being of the US, in some way...certainly don't be a fiscal charge.

Once again I am quoting one of your first posts, that seems to indicate that what you are proposing would not be an OPTION as you claim. How is "consider returning to their country of origin on their own, or be deported" an option? The way you wrote it, if the alien did not choose to return home, then deportation is the alternative?

They either go, willingly, or are shipped off against their will.

The statutes state that if the alien cannot demonstrate that the marriage was bonafide, the alien's application to adjust or remove conditions of PR is denied. Acquiring Permanent Residence under such circumstances is hardly "automatic". There are requirements. The "entitlement" for which you have disdain, is only conferred to an alien AFTER the alien has demonstrated that their intentions at inception were genuinely to spend their life with their USC spouse.

As the INA stipulates, if the marriage terminates prior to adjustment of status, the requirement of the alien is significantly greater. He or she must demonstrate not only that the marriage was bonafide, but also that they were either abused or that there would be a significant hardship for them to return to their native land. So, what needs to be revamped?

Edited February 3, 2008 by diadromous mermaid

[tito 1]

"They either go, willingly, or are shipped off against their will."

ABSOLUTELY! There absolutely, positively, certainly is no RIGHT to immigrate, simply by virtue of the marriage. That is an option, like it or not, that's the risk the immigrant takes...that the marriage didn't work out, things didn't go as planned. The BIG question is...WHO BEARS THE RISK? Unfortunately, there is no right associated with immigration unless and until there is a green card. Up to that point, indeed, deportation is possible, unless there is a defense to the deportation proceedings (i.e., the immigrant claims they were abused, or whatever the drill happens to be...).

What needs to be revamped? The point of view of the immigrant. Scrambling for a green card is one option...but so is going home.

[tito 1]

One additional comment...I think I've covered just about everything... It is abhorrent to me that, after a short term marriage where the immigrant complains about how difficult the adjustment is, how much they miss home, how much they miss their family, their climate, their environment, their circumstances, whatever, the FIRST thing the proposed immigrant wants to do if and when things don't work out is secure permanent residency!! If they miss home so much, why is THAT the #1 priority?? It doesn't make sense.

Edited February 3, 2008 by tito

[diadromous mermaid 36]

One additional comment...I think I've covered just about everything... It is abhorrent to me that, after a short term marriage where the immigrant complains about how difficult the adjustment is, how much they miss home, how much they miss their family, their climate, their environment, their circumstances, whatever, the FIRST thing the proposed immigrant wants to do if and when things don't work out is secure permanent residency!! If they miss home so much, why is THAT the #1 priority?? It doesn't make sense.

Well, that would irk many, I am sure. But in the case of a marriage between an alien and a USC that doesn't work out, where there are no complaints of missing home etc. ~ would you still say that the alien should be required to leave, save for extenuating hardships in the nativeland? Just for the record, tito, you have informed us that you are not bitter. I believe you hope not to be, but to lump all aliens in one category seems wholly improper. There are many states in this country that observe no-fault divorces, where the court steadfastly advises to dismantle the union as quickly as possible (if divorce is a foregone conclusion). Many family courts will not entertain grounds in such states. Were divorces still to require grounds for the petitioner in a divorce, then it might be easier to sift through to see if the aliens were at fault in the breakdown of the marriage. And just maybe there would be some that had abused the right they were awarded through marriage. But take for example an alien that leaves all behind for a life with her USC, who later turns out to be a chronic philanderer, dishonest adullterous individual, wouldn't what you propose force aliens to remain in an unhappy relationship rather than to divorce, because to end the relationship would mean that the alien would be forced to go home?

[iansig40 1]

And, no, I don't view the relationship as "property" - that is totally putting words in my mouth and attributing to me a thought or feeling or expression I do not hold and have not held; however, I DO view the green card as a PRIVILEGE and NOT a right that becomes vested simply because the immigrant married a USC. There's got to be more to a green card than that!

Well...maybe you can elaborate a bit more over what you said above ?

Like what do you think we need to do to deserve this GC ?

After all we pay taxes like everyone else(supporting some USC) we bring high skills (some very hard to be filled by USC )..isn't this enough ?

Just wondering what else you think we should provide in order to qualify for this GC ?

I don't want to sound rude but you are pathetic man