Off Topic - VERY hard decision to make

[allousa 1]

This is off topic and not MENA related...BUT...all the peeps I know are here in MENA...so here goes....

I am faced with a really tough decision at the moment. I have two large dogs. One is 14 and the other 12. I've had the 14 year old since she was 6 months old and the 12 year old since he was a year old. They have been together everyday for the last 11 years. My 12 year old dog has suffered with joint problems all his life that I've given him meds for. But recently, he's having more and more difficulty just getting up from a sitting/laying position. He cannot even get up if he is on the hardwood floor. I keep throw rugs out for both of them. My 14 year old slips and falls alot if she walks on the hardwood floors because she doesn't have the muscle control anymore. Also, my 14 year old is on the maximum dose of meds to help with her bladder control, and she continues to have accidents.

I know that the time is really drawing near for my 12 year old because I can tell that he is suffering. But I worry how my 14 year old is going to be affected by him not being there. I know that I have borrowed time with her as well, because I've seen her health really decline the last 6 months.

I'm struggling with the fact that since they are both still eating fairly well, I can I put them to sleep when they still are eating. They do sleep all the time and their quality of life is not what it once was. Some of you are saying just take them to the vet...but I KNOW that the vet is going to want to do a battery of tests on both just to tell me that they are old dogs. I know I'm fortunate to have had both live so long to be big dogs. My 14 year old is 65 lbs and my 12 year old is 100lbs.

I'm also struggling on when to do this. I've only got 31 days before we leave to go to Morocco for two weeks. It will be a great comfort to possibly have my husband home to help me through the grief. Especially for my 14 year old, because she's the ONE. You know that dog that is the ONE pet you cherish most for all of your life. I'm struggling on when to do this and if I should let them go together.

I'm so devastated to have to make this decision at one of the happiest moments with Hicham coming home.

I'm posting this to see if any of you have had to face similar situations with your pets.

[doodlebugg 10]

I've never had to put a pet down, though I know I will at some point with my cat. My suggestion to you is this...........you have gone through the birth and the first few years of your son without your husband, you have gone through the loss of your father without your husband..........you KNOW he's coming home soon....I would wait. you've been through enough without his being there.

[RAKASA 0]

No easy call to make and I couldn't even tell you what I'd do in that situation, but my sympathies go out to you at this difficult time and I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make. (F)

[♥JP♥ 5]

If they are suffering and there is nothing you can do to help them, then they shouldnt have to suffer. If they are not suffering, they they should be given a chance.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Allousa,

I am so sorry for your situation and can feel your pain...I had to make a decision with my dog that I had for 13 years and it was so difficult...I can only share what my choice was and you will make the decision you feel is right in your heart....my dog had a fairly healthy life...however she took a fall and was not able to recover and in addition had a growth (not cancerous as I had it tested) on her leg that was also causing her discomfort....the vet was worried about removing the growth because she did not feel my dog would make it through the surgery..She was eating, however she was not able to get around...I had to help her outside and it got to the point where she was not able to get around anymore...I decided to have her put to sleep..it was so hard...because I said that same things..that she was eating/drinking etc...however for me, her quality of life was suffering....it was such a tough decision...and my heart goes out to you....and heres a big old (((HUG))) - Melinda

[*JG* 2]

I had my last dog for 14 years. When I found her, in our backyard, she was beaten and underfed, and hiding out. After she healed, she was the best dog I could have ever hoped for. when he time came, I knew it was the right thing to do. She was in so much pain and I never wanted that for her.

I feel if you questioning, they you aren't so sure it is right at this time. Look at it through her eyes, not yours. It's not about what you feel or can take.........what is she feeling and how much more can she take? You certainly don't want her to suffer.

I'm so sorry for you.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Should you decide to have them put down, ask your vet if he / she could send out a vet tech and have them pass quietly in the comfort of their own home. I have done this many times and it is far better on them as well as on yourself.

It is a hard decision, but you will know when it is time.

Edited January 28, 2008 by Nagishkaw

[~~~water~~~ 0]

wow... im so sorry what a hard decision! I had to put one dog down after he was run over it was very hard I cried alot. I just feel if you feel they are suffering then it is the right thin to do. hugs ... so sorry you are facing this

[allousa 1]

My 14 year old does have a growth that is non-cancerous, as I have had that tested. Like your pet Melinda, the vet said that it's very doubtful at her age that she would do successful with surgery. It's a fatty tumor that is on the side of her chest. It's as large as the palm of my hand and it is slowly growing larger. The vet said that at some point it will grow large enough to where she will lose mobility.

It just makes me sad to think that if my other dog is no longer there with her, will she decline faster because she's lonely. I already have to leave them outside all day while I'm working. I have a screened in porch that gives them good shelter and I have big doggie beds and blankets so they are comfy....but I really worry that she will become very depressed. I know some of you my laugh at me, but I do think animals experience depression and sadness.

This is one of those times...you just wish that someone would just tell you what to do rather than having to make the decision yourself. I have guilt if I wait and I have guilt if I don't. I love my pups and they have been such a large part of my life, especially before my son came along.

[anitacastillo 0]

One thing to consider - do you have someplace/someone to leave them while you are gone - what will give them TLC?

Sorry for the tough decision!

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Talk to them and ask them what they want. They can understand you and you will know their answers.

[sereia 0]

I don't think you are wrong to think your other dog would be depressed if the other one was put down. I absolutely think its true! I had to put my 13 year old golden retriever down a while back. It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make. He also had arthritis and hip problems...and he developed a brain tumor. When he started to have frequent seizures I knew it was time to let him go. Unfortunately my parents were on vacation at the time so I had to decide that for myself (and was underage) It was AWFUL and I'll never forget it.

I think as long as you think they have some quality of life, I would try to help them as best you can. They are both at such an old age I don't know if I would put them through vigorous testing and all that... but if you can make them as comfortable as possible and if they are still eating normally... I would not put them down. I don't like to see when people are "trigger happy" with that option. I used to be a vet tech during college and it was so hard to see people bring in pets to be put down.

I wish you the best in your decision. *hugs*

[allousa 1]

My best friend is going to house sit for me while we are gone. She has done this for the last couple of years that I've gone. She is a HUGE animal lover and probably spoils them more than I do. She is actually the one that thinks I should let them go together. She has offered to go with me when the time comes. If I wait until after the trip, she promised to spoil them with multiple treats and heavy doses of love while I'm gone.

I've actually known the last few months that the sun was setting on our time together. I definitely am not taking putting them down lightly. It's quite the opposite. My pups have been such loyal companions and such wonderful pets. They are my family and I'm devastated at the thought of them no longer being with us.

I really appreciate all of your thoughts and comments.

[JenT 0]

I don't typically post in the MENA forum, so pardon the intrusion... I tend to 'View New Posts' and read/post where I feel I have something to add...

When my first husband and I were married, our 'first girl' was a black lab puppy whom we named Gretchen. A year later, we acquired a companion for her, a male yellow lab puppy whom we named Bosco. They were with us through all of the ups and downs of life, protecting my 2 daughters once they were born and making life happier for all of us. We did everything we could for them as members of our family, including giving Bosco a 'fake hip' when he was 8 after hip dysplasia was getting the best of him.

Gretchen was 13 when she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, manifesting itself as a sudden tumor on the side of her neck. Bosco was aging with arthritis and chronic seizures. It as difficult to see them slow down after the active and happy life we had together.

We did everything we could to keep Gretchen pain free. One night, I came home from work and she could barely stand up without swaying. It was clear that the cancer was affecting her neurologically and her eyes told me that it was time. I spent the night sleeping with her on the floor and took the day off of work while we waited for the vet to come to our home. We waited for the kids to get home from school before we told them that day and they elected not to be in the same room, but wanted to be nearby. I held Gretchen in my arms as the vet administered the med to put her to sleep and then the med to stop her heart. I sobbed for an hour with her in my arms on the living room floor. Bosco seemed to know what was going on... we did not restrict him from being with us but he chose to remain in another room of the house.

We had purchased a coffin for Gretchen and put her in it with her favorite toys.... we carried her to the backyard and held a little prayer service by the grave that my ex had dug.

Bosco was aware of the loss but that did not stop him from enjoying the time he had left... he lived for another year, almost to the day of Gretchen's death, when the pain meds stopped working and he was in too much pain to be able to function on his own. We followed the same process with him. Both times, I was devastated and had never felt the pain of such grief before, not even when my own grandmother passed away. I swore I would never have another dog again.... That was 6 years ago.

Three years after their death, my daughters and I went to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, UT for spring break. We volunteered to help with the animals there and wound up adopting two dogs. Then 5 days before this last Christmas, I was renewing one of their licenses at the pound and wound up adopting dog # 3. Life is richer with them than without them... the happiness outweighs the grief, eventually. You will know when it is time. Their eyes will tell you.

Peace, Jen

[RAKASA 0]

I don't typically post in the MENA forum, so pardon the intrusion... I tend to 'View New Posts' and read/post where I feel I have something to add...

When my first husband and I were married, our 'first girl' was a black lab puppy whom we named Gretchen. A year later, we acquired a companion for her, a male yellow lab puppy whom we named Bosco. They were with us through all of the ups and downs of life, protecting my 2 daughters once they were born and making life happier for all of us. We did everything we could for them as members of our family, including giving Bosco a 'fake hip' when he was 8 after hip dysplasia was getting the best of him.

Gretchen was 13 when she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, manifesting itself as a sudden tumor on the side of her neck. Bosco was aging with arthritis and chronic seizures. It as difficult to see them slow down after the active and happy life we had together.

We did everything we could to keep Gretchen pain free. One night, I came home from work and she could barely stand up without swaying. It was clear that the cancer was affecting her neurologically and her eyes told me that it was time. I spent the night sleeping with her on the floor and took the day off of work while we waited for the vet to come to our home. We waited for the kids to get home from school before we told them that day and they elected not to be in the same room, but wanted to be nearby. I held Gretchen in my arms as the vet administered the med to put her to sleep and then the med to stop her heart. I sobbed for an hour with her in my arms on the living room floor. Bosco seemed to know what was going on... we did not restrict him from being with us but he chose to remain in another room of the house.

We had purchased a coffin for Gretchen and put her in it with her favorite toys.... we carried her to the backyard and held a little prayer service by the grave that my ex had dug.

Bosco was aware of the loss but that did not stop him from enjoying the time he had left... he lived for another year, almost to the day of Gretchen's death, when the pain meds stopped working and he was in too much pain to be able to function on his own. We followed the same process with him. Both times, I was devastated and had never felt the pain of such grief before, not even when my own grandmother passed away. I swore I would never have another dog again.... That was 6 years ago.

Three years after their death, my daughters and I went to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, UT for spring break. We volunteered to help with the animals there and wound up adopting two dogs. Then 5 days before this last Christmas, I was renewing one of their licenses at the pound and wound up adopting dog # 3. Life is richer with them than without them... the happiness outweighs the grief, eventually. You will know when it is time. Their eyes will tell you.

Peace, Jen

Oh Jen, this left me sobbing at the computer... How sad, and yet a lovely way to let go. I hope this will be the way I say goodbye to my 2 loving companion dogs.