Ignorant comments

[yassmine2878 1]

Some people when they know you SO is from a different country thing that the he/she just wants a green-card or question your capability of being with an American person.I actuallly got into a heated argument with a co-worker over a stupid comment he made about my fiance.

I usually fix them with an icy stare that makes them feel super-moronic (but that would be my hormones lashing out). If Im feeling more charitable I just explain they only have red and blue cards in my husband's country and he needed a green one to complete his collection.

It gets annoying when you hear endless (not to mention unsolicited) comments from people who think they know what they are talking about. "He just wants you for a green card" "He's going to make you convert to his religion", etc. These are the same people who swear all you have to do to become a US Citizen is marry one. Ergo, their opinion means nothing. If they are that uneducated about immigration in general, then anything that comes out of their mouths is equally useless.

So sit back and laugh. You'll enjoy being right for a very long time to come

[bora bora 1]

Some people when they know you SO is from a different country thing that the he/she just wants a green-card or question your capability of being with an American person.I actuallly got into a heated argument with a co-worker over a stupid comment he made about my fiance.

I usually fix them with an icy stare that makes them feel super-moronic (but that would be my hormones lashing out). If Im feeling more charitable I just explain they only have red and blue cards in my husband's country and he needed a green one to complete his collection.

It gets annoying when you hear endless (not to mention unsolicited) comments from people who think they know what they are talking about. "He just wants you for a green card" "He's going to make you convert to his religion", etc. These are the same people who swear all you have to do to become a US Citizen is marry one. Ergo, their opinion means nothing. If they are that uneducated about immigration in general, then anything that comes out of their mouths is equally useless.

So sit back and laugh. You'll enjoy being right for a very long time to come

Well said!

[Jasman0717 9]

I'm at a point in my life where I don't care what anyone thinks, Claudeth is here and we are happy and she is a saint.

[panamania79 2]

A co-worker once made a remark saying that I went all the way to another country to get a man....

But I think he was jealous and wanted my husband for himself .

My co-worker said," I'm sick and tired of all these foreigners scooping up all of our women." As if all American women belonged to him.

[yassmine2878 1]

A co-worker once made a remark saying that I went all the way to another country to get a man....

But I think he was jealous and wanted my husband for himself .

My co-worker said," I'm sick and tired of all these foreigners scooping up all of our women." As if all American women belonged to him.

If that's true then where's my share of the support? That SOB should be sending me some checks! Im an American woman. If Im to be owned, Id best have something to show for it

[We_Destiny 1]

I've never really had problems but typically when someone makes any type of ignorant comment to me I tear them apart so bad they feel worthless. I'm mean like that. But if someone were to suggest my husband just wanted a green card I would just laugh at them and then tell them to get a life and stop worrying about mine.

Perfect!!!

I or my hubby haven't had any bad experiences because people don't know I am from another country unless I tell them....

the only thing I heard was from my hubby's aunt.. she was wondering why we at to go through the whole visa process because she thought Canada was a part of the US

[Donna A 4]

ive handled it in many ways. ive ignored it and one girl at work asked me what would i do if someone wouldnt talk to me becasue im married to a arab...i just said well thats their loss and not mine. and my mom would say things like the only reason he could come to the united states is cuz u braught him here. there is no other way...excuse me..he is a doctor he can come on a work visa very easily..what do u think im not worthy of someone loving me for me and not just a green card? she apoligized.

so u can just ignore it or go all out on them.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

If that doesn't work you can go on the offensive. Tell them they sound like they must have had bad luck with women and maybe you can help him find a good one!

I like this idea. I've noticed that the only people who've criticised my relationship have been people who've never had a successful relationship themselves. Bitter, much?!

[DeadPoolX 9]

Well, it looks like your SO is from Panama, correct? If that's right, then you have to remember that when compared to the United States, Panama is a very poor country and much fewer career opportunities. I'm not saying Panama is a bad country, so please don't get that idea. What I am saying is that the idea many Americans will immediately conjure up when thinking of Panama is poor, slave-like labor with people in tattered clothing and living in desolate conditions, within a jungle climate.

Now whether any of that is the least bit accurate is completely beyond the point. It's how many Americans probably view Panama in their mind and therefore, when they hear that an American citizen is in love with someone from Panama and bringing him here to the U.S., their first thought would most likely be: "That foreigner is just looking for a Green Card!"

What I've learned so far in this process is that, with rare exception, it is very difficult for the average American to even comprehend that life may equal (or some capacities, be better) what exists in the United States. It's not really our (I'm an American too, by the way) fault though. From the time we're little kids to when we're old and gray, we're consistently told that the U.S. is the "land of the free and the home of the brave" and that we "have it better than anyone else and get more freedoms than any other country" and so on. We're practically indoctrinated from birth, you might say.

My SO is from Canada, which is not a poor country by any means and is very much like the United States in many ways. However, I've still had people attempt to "warn" me that she might just be interested in only attaining a Green Card. I find that highly amusing since if it weren't for me, she would never think about leaving Canada. So what I suppose I'm trying to get at is, no matter where your SO is from, so long as he or she is a foreigner to the U.S., many Americans will think he or she is looking for an "easy" way to a Green Card.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I must be fortunate. The only bad comment I have heard in the five years I've known my fiancée came from my former spouse. Which was no surprise. I've encountered more curiousities and misunderstandings than criticisms. e.g., So you got a "mail-order-bride"? Isn't Russia communist? How do you get her here? Why a girl from a foreign country? Can she speak English or do you have to speak to her in Russian? But after I answer them, they usually are quite supportive. Some guys even started writing their own girl!

Personally, I would ignore people that have a problem with me and my relationship. All and all, I could not care less for how they think. It's my life and love!

Edited January 28, 2008 by Kazan' Tiger

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

My SO is Canadian, so no one really gives me ####### about it.

My suggestion is to tell those people to quit being judgmental douchebags.

[*JG* 2]

Some people when they know you SO is from a different country thing that the he/she just wants a green-card or question your capability of being with an American person.I actuallly got into a heated argument with a co-worker over a stupid comment he made about my fiance.

I agree....Ignore them. No one really knows your story, situation, or expectations; but you.

Most people only know what they hear by word of mouth or the media and most of the time only those who have been wronged voice their opinions loudly.

[Ephesia 0]

Because I am the foreign SO, I always launch the preemptive strike when my hubby introduces me to a friend or co-worker I've not had the chance to meet yet:

"Pleased to meet you. I am Brandon's mail-order bride, and I moved here 2½ years ago to contribute taxes to the US economy."

[Minya's wife 24]

My wifes' family thought she was mad, I proved them wrong

My parents think I'm mad also.

My parents thought I was mad too....now they say I "lucky" to have found a man like my husband. As for the comments of others...ignore them. They don't 'walk in your shoes,' so they have no reason to critique.

-P

[john & jean 37]

Fortunate, I suppose, no ignorant comments yet. The only negative was from my ex. Most people are so uneducated about the process, assuming all there is to it is just getting married. When you begin to tell them most are overwhelmed. I do not base my feelings for my wife on the opinions of others. Yes ignorant people will make ignorant comments, however you aren't obligated to respond. A friend, will not question another friends relations. That bieng said, good luck with the journey...john&jean