dealing with separation and lonliness

[angie & abed 1]

I know what you are going through, but you will get through this. You will get through it because you are a mommy and you will find the strength. Believe me, there were many a days I didn't think I could go on, I felt alone and cried myself to sleep many a night. But I did get through it, and you will too! I realize that it wasn't hard on just me, it was (and is) even harder on him. All the nights I called crying, I made him feel even worse than what he already felt. Everytime I look at my little baby, I get sad cause he is missing everything, he is watching her grow up in pictures and on webcam, she thinks her daddy is a picture and the telephone likes to say her name....anyway, I'll stop before I start crying (again).... I am here if you need someone to talk to, you can message me anytime.

Please take care of yourself and the little one.

~Angie

[Jenn! 918]

Jenn.. no one is saying that all of the vets are bad. Some are great at managing threads, giving advice, helping people avoid problems, and without them no one would know what its like at consulates or what to expect. But when people who are actually in the throws of immigration get every single post flamed or if they have a differing opinion, they get bullied, pushed around to the point they do not want to post, the board loses its effectiveness. You are not especially nasty. I mean you and I do not see I to eye alot but you do not seem to go out of your way to make jack #### comments to people for no reason. I have seen you point out the obvious. Anyway. The purpose of my post was just to talk and reach out to other people in the process to see what they were doing to cope and get support. My response was nasty because the comment someone else left me was nasty and thats what set me off anyway. Which was my fault

Fair enough.

It just seems like lately around here, as soon as one person takes a contrary position to something (and god forbid they happen to already have their husband here with them), the generalizations start flying. Threads are created talking about how mean everyone in the MENA forum is, how we're all bullies, attackers, petty, etc. Passive aggressive comments ad nauseam. These type of comments, usually by the so-called "nice" members polarize the board just as much if not more than the so-called "attackers".

I wish people would take up their problems with the person the issue lies with rather than generalizing all the time.

Anyhoo, we really have all been there before. Maybe not in the exact same place, but we all faced the challenges of separation. I remember when I was going through it it was a comfort to see the people who had made it through. Reminded me that there *was* a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Jeraly 4]

Anyhoo, we really have all been there before. Maybe not in the exact same place, but we all faced the challenges of separation. I remember when I was going through it it was a comfort to see the people who had made it through. Reminded me that there *was* a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry to stick my nose in where it prolly isn't wanted but just wanted to say how much I agree with this. I am still waiting to be with my OH - I am not moving until the end of June but I *love* reading stories of people who have moved, are loving their lives, have got lovely jobs and a lovely house and have really made it... just gives me incentive to work hard like they did

*scampers away before she gets shouted at for being from the UK*

[amrssnowangel 0]

So the presence of people on this board who already have their SO's here is only a painful reminder that yours is not here?

I didnt say it was a painful reminder...i said she didn't need those comments from others about how she needed to suck it up..becasue they went through it and now the husbands are here...makes it harder to throw that around.. good advice from those that have been through it is one thing...but it was flamed comments by some who already have theirs here..and that makes it harder...

I'm sorry you've been offended by some people here, but that's no excuse to lump everyone in to a group and dismiss them.

I didnt lump everyone into ONE group...just spoke to those that it applied to...I wasn't and am not offended by all..just find this particular forum more in cat fights then some of the others..which is sad..because our embassy in Cairo is one of the hardest ones to navigate thorugh.

I guess you would prefer that we all leave. Good luck navigating the process blindly!

This is EXACTLY the type of comments that start flames. I never said anhything about others experiences being not needed..they are VERY needed but she was bashed in a time of need...not called for,..sorry if we disagree on this point.

I dont mean to sound like Im generalizing...but this person WAS bashed and there was NOTHING in the original start of this to warrant some of the initial comments....

Now..we are all in this together..we need each other..we need the advice..those that have been thorugh this and have theirs, the newbies and those in mid process...need each other and the valuable information that CAN be given. But as this thread started...thats not what was going on..

Maybe its MY turn to step on a few toes??? HOws it feel?

[Jenn! 918]

Maybe its MY turn to step on a few toes??? HOws it feel?

Nice.

[amrssnowangel 0]

Maybe its MY turn to step on a few toes??? HOws it feel?

Nice.

Calling a truce...lets go get ice cream...

[Jenn! 918]

Yeah, I don't think so.

Sick of the self-righteousness and people not practicing what they preach.

*hugs*

[amrssnowangel 0]

Yeah, I don't think so.

Sick of the self-righteousness and people not practicing what they preach.

Ok...Im sorry if I came across that way. And I apologize if I offended you in any way. But you also came out very strongly stated and misrepresented my statements...I will end this here...I just hope this MENA forum can be a bit more friendly and supportive of each other...thts what we are here for...not things like this....I tried...I simply saw someone being attacked so to speak in time of need..and came to her defense.... good luck to all...

*hugs*

[RAKASA 0]

yeah, ok, whatever... wth did I say that was the least bit "flaming"??? Why don't those of you "in the same boat" go eat yourselves into oblivion w/ a bathtub full of ice cream and a truckload of chocolates and it will all be hunkey dorey in the end....

And that's my "compassionate" version ..... got better things to do than participate in this drivel.... have a lovely freakin' day!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Separation and lonliness,,,try ice cream sprinkled with anti-depressants. Or religion. Same effect. Or Midol and a box of chocolate.

Good luck to all those in the process. Us 'veterans' do remember the feeling of being apart. My exhusband and I had a full 2 year wait for his visa. So, do I understand what you are feeling? You're damn right I do. I do have empathy for those waiting. I don't have sympathy for mean people.

jJ

pass the popcorn

[Elva and Ehab 0]

Yeah, I don't think so.

Sick of the self-righteousness and people not practicing what they preach.

Ok...Im sorry if I came across that way. And I apologize if I offended you in any way. But you also came out very strongly stated and misrepresented my statements...I will end this here...I just hope this MENA forum can be a bit more friendly and supportive of each other...thts what we are here for...not things like this....I tried...I simply saw someone being attacked so to speak in time of need..and came to her defense.... good luck to all...

*hugs*

I agree with arms, we do need to be a bit more friendly and supportive of each other. This was not the time for bashing, or taking things so personal, this was the time to reach out to a fellow VJer who needed to vent, who needed our support.

I didn't get the idea that arms was being self-righteous, she was just saying, hey be there for each other.

[RAKASA 0]

[doodlebugg 10]

OT- Wahrania do you also have a son? I've never heard you talk about him until yesterday.

Group hug

((((((hugs)))))))

I think it's best not to dis the oldtimers since they're been there and done that and we will soon be there and do that too inshallah.

maybe everyone needs to take a deep healing breath?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

OT- Wahrania do you also have a son? I've never heard you talk about him until yesterday.

yes...I do....

Group hug

((((((hugs)))))))

I think it's best not to dis the oldtimers since they're been there and done that and we will soon be there and do that too inshallah.

maybe everyone needs to take a deep healing breath?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

OT- Wahrania do you also have a son? I've never heard you talk about him until yesterday.

Group hug

((((((hugs)))))))

I think it's best not to dis the oldtimers since they're been there and done that and we will soon be there and do that too inshallah.

thats another story

maybe everyone needs to take a deep healing breath?