Good Husband even the woman doesnt realize

[Leafgal 3]

Hubby is the only one working (works 2 jobs actually). I have done a budget, and I control paying the bills and letting him know if there is money to spend or not, generally not a lot to go around but all the bills are paid. Once I start working that money will go into my chequing account to pay off debts, like my car loan and his truck loan and if all goes well the mortage all of which will be early. He is good with that, of course he would love to buy a Wii, but the big joke here is that it isn't in the budget (he complains nothing he wants is and what I do is, but what I want is for the house so I figure that is different). I buy things and it is never a problem as he can see the big picture of getting things paid off in 5 years and being absolutely debt free. And besides his birthday is in the summer so by then I am hoping to get him a Wii then (as it will be in the budget) LOL.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Money has nothing to do with the original posters problem. Communication skills are the root of their problems. He has baggage from his previous relationship. She needs to be a little more understanding in where the real problem is and not use threats in the heat of a dissagreement. Each couple has to figure out the best way to manage their money but the IDEAL way is everything is equal and each person is more concerned for the other than themselves. Selflessness is the cure for selfishness.

Churches offer free counsulling if they don't have the money. They both need to decide right now that they are going to learn better skills for dealing with issues or they are going down a rough road with their marriage.

[Completely 3]

The reason I opened this poll is because my and I are having a misunderstanding. She asked me what would I do if she wanted to buy something, would I just let her buy whatever she wants without question or would I ask her for more information. I answered, if its for material goods then I should be able to ask you about it. I said cuz if were short on budget, then it would not make since to buy $200 shoes. She got upset and now she saying that she will not spend any of my money. She also saying that she cant put her trust in me now, she doesn’t realize the fact that I was shocked because she said I don’t have the right to say anything.

I already put her in total control of the finances, because I know this would make her happy. She has 3 kids and Im doing my best to support us and give us all a comfortable life on the salary I make. I was kinda shocked that she asked me a question like that because I trust that she is mature and dependable. I never spend money on myself, because I would feel guilty and like I was taking away from the family as a whole. I would always ask her before I buy something for myself. I also tried to explain that material goods should not be important because if u spend 200 on shoes or dress 6 months later that 200 is going to be forgotten

It is okay for you to worry about it... Personally since I married my husband, I never stayed at home.. He met me when I was working at the restaurant, and then I found a nice office job.. I have always worked because I have family to support on.. I guess it is a cultural thing that we need to reciprocate all the things they have done for us in the past by helping them. You know frankly, t is not easy for us to do that, because we think about our spouses too, on what they will feel about it. but we have no choice sometimes..I discussed my situation to my husband before marrying me.. I even discouraged him even before that he will marry my whole family too.. (I was just joking to him but its true) I have my 70 yrs old parents that I am supporting....but still he wanted to marry me..

In my case I can rather choose not to work so I can spend time more with my son but I preferred to work, so my husband does not worry on financial things..I do not want to depend my personal responsibilities on him.. We both work overseas.. and been living here for 4 years now... You may want to try working in middle east country just to get ahead.. I always ask him first when I want to buy something, he does not care but stilll I feel he has the right to know. I know I am cheap when it comes to buying things, even I have a good job that pays more, I still have difficulties of buying expensive stuff. Maybe I am just being smart, or I dont want people to think I changed the way I used to be..

My only guess is that maybe your wife is getting bored, let her find a job so she can focus and realize how to make money in the US.

Edited May 18, 2008 by Completely

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

we have our own money.