Where did you register?

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Wow! Those are such great ideas!

There's really no end to the kind of cheap but thoughtful and personalised gifts that you can give! I like Jomo's girl's friends' ideas too. You don't even have to be an artist! My friends and I all have degrees in architecture so I like to think we're reasonably artistically inclined but it's no requirement - it's the time and effort and thoughtfulness that went into creating the gift that counts.

There are other examples: One friend made the cake (actually, it was about 60 individual cakes) for her friend's wedding. She's also asked if she can make my wedding dress - it'd be fantastic if she did! And for Christmas, Alex's sister-in-law gave me a bracelet made out of buttons and a brooch made from a bottle cap. They're really cool.

[~krakatoa~ 27]

Macy's.

[Steve'sGirl 0]

Macy's, Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn. Lots of work, but lots of fun too, especially if you're starting from scratch with a new household. Unbelievable how much stuff you need (and I'm talking about the essentials for time being only).

[PlatyPius 5]

I never implied that anyone else invited people just to get more gifts. I was just saying that *I* wasn't about to do that. To me, it ain't about the gifts.

[almaty 19]

I never implied that anyone else invited people just to get more gifts. I was just saying that *I* wasn't about to do that. To me, it ain't about the gifts.

amen brother platy..my brother had emergency surgery the day of our wedding,..it was sanita..,me and the judge..

[Sprailenes 47]

I never implied that anyone else invited people just to get more gifts. I was just saying that *I* wasn't about to do that. To me, it ain't about the gifts.

Um yes you did.

Anyways...

It's not about the gifts to any of us. But registries are common for a variety of reasons.

Just because you chose not to have one, doesn't make you any better than those of us who did.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I registered at Macy's because I was forced to by my mother. However I didn't insert the registry information in the invitation, only people who asked were told about it and I think eventually word just got around.

There were people at my wedding that didn't bring me a gift and I didn't mind one bit and if they feel obligated to bring one then they brought that feeling onto themselves. Its not like the invite says "no gift, no entry". However even if you don't register, it doesnt mean that you won't recieve gifts. When you register you are just making it easier for those people that do want to bring gifts.

My advice to those of you that are against gifts all together. Ask your guests to make a donation to a charity instead of bringing a gift if they choose to do that.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

Well, I don't feel obligated to subsidize anyone's wedding. I certainly didn't expect our guests to subsidize ours. Weddings are only as expensive as you make them.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

We registered at Pete's Liquors.

[PlatyPius 5]

I never implied that anyone else invited people just to get more gifts. I was just saying that *I* wasn't about to do that. To me, it ain't about the gifts.

Um yes you did.

Anyways...

It's not about the gifts to any of us. But registries are common for a variety of reasons.

Just because you chose not to have one, doesn't make you any better than those of us who did.

No, really I didn't. If you are taking it that way, you need to ask yourself WHY you are taking it that way. I think I know what I said and what I meant and what I might have intentionally implied. I don't normally "imply" things...I say them. It gets me suspended, but who cares? It's just a message board.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

Well, I don't feel obligated to subsidize anyone's wedding. I certainly didn't expect our guests to subsidize ours. Weddings are only as expensive as you make them.

Right, but nothing's free, either. Even if you get your dad to do a barbeque and dress up casually and have the wedding and reception in your parents' back garden (all things we'll probably be doing) there's still going to be a few expenses, and time and effort that's gone into the planning. (Although I'm feeling we ought to do more, as a couple of people may be flying in and that's a huge expense for them).

I think it's more about showing that your appreciation and acknowledgement of what people have done rather than subsidising...like I said, I've been to some amazing weddings and enjoy giving gifts, mostly because it's fun to pick something out (I like browsing, as AOS Despair says, too) and watch people's reactions, but I'm also saying 'thank you, I had a wonderful time.'

[Jenn! 918]

No, really I didn't. If you are taking it that way, you need to ask yourself WHY you are taking it that way. I think I know what I said and what I meant and what I might have intentionally implied. I don't normally "imply" things...I say them. It gets me suspended, but who cares? It's just a message board.

I'm not bothered by what you've said because in many ways, I agree. But you really *did* imply that people do these things *only* to receive gifts....

We didn't register anywhere. It was a wedding, not a gift solicitation festival.

This implies that people who do register view their weddings as gift solicitation festivals.

The only people at our wedding were my friends Chris and Bri, and my Mom. My Mom bought dinner and Chris and Bri gave us a candle thing that we liked (until the cats broke it). Chris and Bri, being friends, knew what we'd like. I wasn't about to invite relatives I've never met or people I haven't spoken to in years just to try to get more free stuff. Why would I want gifts? I just married the woman I loved. Wasn't that enough?

This implies that people who do invite a lot of distant relatives do so solely to get more free stuff.

[almaty 19]

We registered at Pete's Liquors.

good choice...

we also registered at Big Lots...

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

Well, I don't feel obligated to subsidize anyone's wedding. I certainly didn't expect our guests to subsidize ours. Weddings are only as expensive as you make them.

Right, but nothing's free, either. Even if you get your dad to do a barbeque and dress up casually and have the wedding and reception in your parents' back garden (all things we'll probably be doing) there's still going to be a few expenses, and time and effort that's gone into the planning. (Although I'm feeling we ought to do more, as a couple of people may be flying in and that's a huge expense for them).

I think it's more about showing that your appreciation and acknowledgement of what people have done rather than subsidising...like I said, I've been to some amazing weddings and enjoy giving gifts, mostly because it's fun to pick something out (I like browsing, as AOS Despair says, too) and watch people's reactions, but I'm also saying 'thank you, I had a wonderful time.'

Sorry, I just don't feel that way. If X decides to have a billion dollar wedding, I am still going to bring X whatever I budgeted to give having nothing to do with what X spent. No one forces you to spend stupid amounts of money for a wedding. We spent what we spent with no expectation of ever getting it back. Therefore, we kept the spending far more reasonable. It was about celebrating our union with our friends and family and community in a way that was fun and memorable. It wasn't about keeping a balance sheet, hoping the guests would recover some of the costs for us. If I wanted that, might as well make a wedding with a cover charge.

This thread reminded me of my old favorite sites, Etiquette Hell.

[gwenneh 7]

We registered at Crate & Barrel and Williams - Sonoma.

We didn't include wedding registry informatino with the invites, it was strictly word-of-mouth only. Registries are the "done thing" with my family and frankly, many of them had no clue what to get us so they found it very helpful.

On the subject of the gifts, we were just as thrilled to receive original watercolour paintings from my aunt Joan as we were to receive the expensive items on our registry. The whole thing was about getting the family together - because I've got a huge family and we only ever really see each other at weddings and funerals! - but nearly everyone asked my parents where we were registered.