Where did you register?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I think not. As someone that lived in Russia for a year with his fiancée, I know all this very well. And it is quite different over there with regards to gift giving. Someone could bring an item with a value of less than $1 and it would be fine. Hell, you can pick flowers from the woods and it would be great token. But this ain't Russia we're talking about it in this thread. People expect more than a handful of wild flowers at American celebrations.

But seriously, I really am tired of gift giving in general. I'd rather see celebrations centered around the joy and happiness of getting together with people you love and care about without the obligatory gift. Is that really so bad?

Well you are in an for adjustment then... A russian never arrives at someone's home or to a celebration without bearing a gift.... at least mine does not....

[Krikit 1,164]

I don't consider any gift I give obligatory. I enjoy choosing or creating a gift whether the recipient expects one or not. Gifts from the heart don't necessarily cost a lot of money. And it makes me feel good.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I know some people that found excuses not to attend celebrations strictly because they were too embarrased because they could not afford to bring a gift. Many people do look as it as an obligation.

I think it is great you have talent to create a gift. And, yes, I understand, to give does feel good! I love to see my fiancée smile when I send her flowers! I'm just against causing bad feelings in those that can't afford to.

I don't consider any gift I give obligatory. I enjoy choosing or creating a gift whether the recipient expects one or not. Gifts from the heart don't necessarily cost a lot of money. And it makes me feel good.

[Krikit 1,164]

I know some people that found excuses not to attend celebrations strictly because they were too embarrased because they could not afford to bring a gift. Many people do look as it as an obligation.

That makes me sad. I've never run into that but, then, I always make sure I tell people not to bring anything when I invite them to something. Those who can afford to or want to will always insist.

As for talent, well.... sometimes all I do is scan and print a great old picture, or a digital pic, and put it in a nice frame. (Honest.... you can get nice frames at the dollar store. ) Things like that keep things simple and inexpensive.

[PlatyPius 5]

We didn't register anywhere. It was a wedding, not a gift solicitation festival.

so you received no gifts at all and the ones you did you (im)politely returned?

No.

The only people at our wedding were my friends Chris and Bri, and my Mom. My Mom bought dinner and Chris and Bri gave us a candle thing that we liked (until the cats broke it). Chris and Bri, being friends, knew what we'd like. I wasn't about to invite relatives I've never met or people I haven't spoken to in years just to try to get more free stuff. Why would I want gifts? I just married the woman I loved. Wasn't that enough?

[payxibka 10,045]

I think not. As someone that lived in Russia for a year with his fiancée, I know all this very well. And it is quite different over there with regards to gift giving. Someone could bring an item with a value of less than $1 and it would be fine. Hell, you can pick flowers from the woods and it would be great token. But this ain't Russia we're talking about it in this thread. People expect more than a handful of wild flowers at American celebrations.

But seriously, I really am tired of gift giving in general. I'd rather see celebrations centered around the joy and happiness of getting together with people you love and care about without the obligatory gift. Is that really so bad?

Well you are in an for adjustment then... A russian never arrives at someone's home or to a celebration without bearing a gift.... at least mine does not....

You never previously attached a monetary value to the gift... you only indicated your tiredness with gift giving in general... if your tiredness is a frustration with the monetary expectation attached to the percieved quality of the gift then say so

[Empress of Groovy 373]

We didn't register anywhere. It was a wedding, not a gift solicitation festival.

so you received no gifts at all and the ones you did you (im)politely returned?

No.

The only people at our wedding were my friends Chris and Bri, and my Mom. My Mom bought dinner and Chris and Bri gave us a candle thing that we liked (until the cats broke it). Chris and Bri, being friends, knew what we'd like. I wasn't about to invite relatives I've never met or people I haven't spoken to in years just to try to get more free stuff. Why would I want gifts? I just married the woman I loved. Wasn't that enough?

Goodness, no. Every household needs a fondue pot and a copy of Dixie. Perhaps for your anniversary?

[Sister Fracas 5]

We didn't register anywhere. It was a wedding, not a gift solicitation festival.

so you received no gifts at all and the ones you did you (im)politely returned?

No.

The only people at our wedding were my friends Chris and Bri, and my Mom. My Mom bought dinner and Chris and Bri gave us a candle thing that we liked (until the cats broke it). Chris and Bri, being friends, knew what we'd like. I wasn't about to invite relatives I've never met or people I haven't spoken to in years just to try to get more free stuff. Why would I want gifts? I just married the woman I loved. Wasn't that enough?

Why are you making this about what it's not? Where did anyone say they invited goo-gobs of people to their wedding just to get the goods? Relax a bit, sheesh! If you have more than 3 people at your wedding, some people are going to ask what you'd like for a gift. You can say..."nothing just bring yourself"...and get either cash, an unused doo dad, or a dust collector (but it seems cash isn't always that popular), OR you can bark at 'em...FOR CRISSAKE, IT'S NOT A GIFT EVENT, OR you can choose to make the gift giving THAT YOUR FRIENDS and FAMILY WILL WANT TO DO, just a tad easier. Imagine if you had more than 2 friends.... .... and they all gave you candles...

[Sister Fracas 5]

Goodness, no. Every household needs a fondue pot and a copy of Dixie. Perhaps for your anniversary?

gift-giving for Platy is easy....nada. hehehe

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I know some people that found excuses not to attend celebrations strictly because they were too embarrased because they could not afford to bring a gift. Many people do look as it as an obligation.

I think a solution here is not to tell anyone about the registry unless they ask. It sounds strange, but some people are apparently equally offended by a 'no gifts' line on an invitation as others are by a link to the registry!

That makes me sad. I've never run into that but, then, I always make sure I tell people not to bring anything when I invite them to something. Those who can afford to or want to will always insist.

As for talent, well.... sometimes all I do is scan and print a great old picture, or a digital pic, and put it in a nice frame. (Honest.... you can get nice frames at the dollar store. ) Things like that keep things simple and inexpensive.

Pictures nearly always go down well! My friends and I have all painted paintings as gifts before and I'm amassing quite a collection of signed comic book prints and amateur photos. One friend got married straight after graduating university, so, knowing that her friends were all poor graduates too she asked them to each paint or draw something and now she has personalised artwork for her walls that is always going to remind her of them. Right now on my shelves I even have two cards that my little brother and sister made me for Christmas - can't have taken long to do but they're so sweet and I won't be recycling these unlike all the bought ones that I do!

No.

The only people at our wedding were my friends Chris and Bri, and my Mom. My Mom bought dinner and Chris and Bri gave us a candle thing that we liked (until the cats broke it). Chris and Bri, being friends, knew what we'd like. I wasn't about to invite relatives I've never met or people I haven't spoken to in years just to try to get more free stuff. Why would I want gifts? I just married the woman I loved. Wasn't that enough?

Sure, that's fine and great but I also think it's unfair to imply that other people throw big weddings just to get free stuff.

My original plan was just to have the two of us get married in a very simple ceremony, with a couple of witnesses if need be. However, my family and friends have completely overruled these plans! Sure, I could defy them all and elope but I'd risk angering/hurting a lot of people. My mother would certainly take years to forgive me. Some of us have large, close families and friends that want to attend a wedding. They want to join us in the festivities and see us get married. It's not something I necessarily understand - I don't really give a toss - but I will try and accommodate their desires.

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

When I've attended a wedding, I've always had a good time. I've had hotels paid for me, I've had some excellent food and have really enjoyed talking to and mingling with the other guests. I enjoy attending weddings and giving gifts so I have to keep that in mind and realise that others are probably going to feel the same way about my wedding, too.

[Krikit 1,164]

I think a solution here is not to tell anyone about the registry unless they ask. It sounds strange, but some people are apparently equally offended by a 'no gifts' line on an invitation as others are by a link to the registry!

That's what I did. Only the ones who requested the registry information received it.

Pictures nearly always go down well! My friends and I have all painted paintings as gifts before and I'm amassing quite a collection of signed comic book prints and amateur photos. One friend got married straight after graduating university, so, knowing that her friends were all poor graduates too she asked them to each paint or draw something and now she has personalised artwork for her walls that is always going to remind her of them. Right now on my shelves I even have two cards that my little brother and sister made me for Christmas - can't have taken long to do but they're so sweet and I won't be recycling these unlike all the bought ones that I do!

Wow! Those are such great ideas!

My original plan was just to have the two of us get married in a very simple ceremony, with a couple of witnesses if need be. However, my family and friends have completely overruled these plans! Sure, I could defy them all and elope but I'd risk angering/hurting a lot of people. My mother would certainly take years to forgive me. Some of us have large, close families and friends that want to attend a wedding. They want to join us in the festivities and see us get married. It's not something I necessarily understand - I don't really give a toss - but I will try and accommodate their desires.

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

Same thing happened to me. I just wanted to marry at the courthouse with no one in attendance. Turns out that really hurt a lot of peoples' feelings so we had a ceremony and invited close family and friends. And you really do have a sense of obligation to make things nice for everyone. I sure could have used the money elsewhere, but .....

[Jenn! 918]

Sure, that's fine and great but I also think it's unfair to imply that other people throw big weddings just to get free stuff.

My original plan was just to have the two of us get married in a very simple ceremony, with a couple of witnesses if need be. However, my family and friends have completely overruled these plans! Sure, I could defy them all and elope but I'd risk angering/hurting a lot of people. My mother would certainly take years to forgive me. Some of us have large, close families and friends that want to attend a wedding. They want to join us in the festivities and see us get married. It's not something I necessarily understand - I don't really give a toss - but I will try and accommodate their desires.

Also, weddings are an expense for everyone concerned. There's sometimes just as much a sense of obligation on the part of the bride and groom to provide good food, music and a suitable venue as there is on the part of the guest to attend and bring a gift. I could save all of the money I'll probably spend on a wedding and use it to buy the things that I need but as I'm being expected to throw a decent party I may as well accept any gifts that the guests bring.

When I've attended a wedding, I've always had a good time. I've had hotels paid for me, I've had some excellent food and have really enjoyed talking to and mingling with the other guests. I enjoy attending weddings and giving gifts so I have to keep that in mind and realise that others are probably going to feel the same way about my wedding, too.

Well said!

[*JG* 2]

I think too much monetary value is being placed on this whole subject.

Our wedding was small and intimate. One friend bought me the double rocker I wanted for my front porch. She asked and I told her what I was drooling over. Another friend videotaped our wedding on her camera and made me a CD complete with pictures and songs. Another friend pre-made us a tape of what he perceived as love songs (some of them were questionable!).....yada, yada, yada..... Did I love any one of those more then the other? Absolutely not. I knew each had their heart in the right place and Andre & I in mind when they thought about them.

Sometimes I have a gift in mind for someone. I'm really big on really thinking out gifts for people. Sometimes I make something crafty for someone, which they always seem to love and appreciate. Sometimes, if I'm clueless, I revert back to the registry(s) and get them something they wanted.

A gift is something you want to give. It is NEVER a required thing. If someone thinks it is required then that is on them. I give gifts all the time from something as minor as picking a flower to something over the top and for an invitation or event reason or no reason at all. Each time, it was because I wanted to do it. Not because I was required to do a thing.

[Sprailenes 47]

Macy's...and you get lots of free stuff just for registering certain products. <3

[Krikit 1,164]

Macy's...and you get lots of free stuff just for registering certain products. <3

And you get an 11% off discount card if you show them your foreign passport!