Just found out husband chatting online with woman

[natasha peter 0]

For some people, 4 years is a long time to be in a monogamous relationship. On the other hand, internet games (and other anonymous on-line interludes) are not uncommon in ANY relationship, and don't always lead to and aren't indicative of infidelity.

maybe so tito but it raises trust issues. Its not so much the chatting but claiming hes not married would indicate hes searching for something.

He may be searching for nothing more than an ego boost and a little adventure. Or, this may have been an existing online relationship he just didn't have the courage or motivation to end. That doesn't make it right but if I were you, I'd want to really understand what's going on before making any long lasting decisions.

Humans have weaknesses. Some have pornography issues that are viewed quite differently by one spouse than the next. Some are just looking for what they see as a harmless thrill. (not harmless, of course) If you both get to the bottom of it and then make certain he understands your thoughts and feelings on the matter, his subsequent behavior will tell you all you need to know.

There are all kinds of people and all kinds of marriage relationships. It's critical to know what you have in a partner and what you have in a relationship, then make informed choices.

we talking about "internet addiction" here

I would be so ticked off, I would confront him immediately. It is the one thing I will never tolerate. I wouldn't do it to him and I expect the same courtesy.

[natasha peter 0]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

moody your meez is kool

[BarbSami 32]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

[Dylan 0]

Now that you have the overwhelming consensus that his behavior is wrong. the question remains WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ABOUT IT?

If I were you, the first thing I would do is to move all your money out of your joint account, then I would confront him about his spending and online infedelity.

[mox 298]

Now that you have the overwhelming consensus that his behavior is wrong. the question remains WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ABOUT IT?

If I were you, the first thing I would do is to move all your money out of your joint account, then I would confront him about his spending and online infedelity.

Ressurect old posts much?

[Jason-Sasha 1]

In Dylan's defense, this post was only idle for a week. And even I'm just now finding it for the first time.

I'd say the OP is being severely used. At least it seems this way. We are only getting one side of a story, however. but based on what she's said, it would seem he's not in this marriage for the right reasons. I'd be very cautious and seriously considering talking with a lawyer. 22 thousand?? Jeez. He sounds like a really smooth operator. Best of luck to you.

[melusine 5]

Barb,

I don't understand what you are waiting for to send him to hell !

I would take the flirting online.. just for that.... i would file a divorce. The trust is not there anymore, forget it !

about the money i wouldn't accept it either but that depend more on your situation and what 22k mean for you.

Don't loose your time with this kind of person.

[jms 0]

For some people, 4 years is a long time to be in a monogamous relationship. On the other hand, internet games (and other anonymous on-line interludes) are not uncommon in ANY relationship, and don't always lead to and aren't indicative of infidelity.

maybe so tito but it raises trust issues. Its not so much the chatting but claiming hes not married would indicate hes searching for something.

He may be searching for nothing more than an ego boost and a little adventure. Or, this may have been an existing online relationship he just didn't have the courage or motivation to end. That doesn't make it right but if I were you, I'd want to really understand what's going on before making any long lasting decisions.

Humans have weaknesses. Some have pornography issues that are viewed quite differently by one spouse than the next. Some are just looking for what they see as a harmless thrill. (not harmless, of course) If you both get to the bottom of it and then make certain he understands your thoughts and feelings on the matter, his subsequent behavior will tell you all you need to know.

There are all kinds of people and all kinds of marriage relationships. It's critical to know what you have in a partner and what you have in a relationship, then make informed choices.

we talking about "internet addiction" here

I would be so ticked off, I would confront him immediately. It is the one thing I will never tolerate. I wouldn't do it to him and I expect the same courtesy.

I have never been a violent person and never break or throw anything because I know I will just have to clean it up.But, when I found my ex had been chatting with women on the internet and looking at profile, I tore the place up!! And.....he cleaned it up. All his belongings were on the front patio a week later. Furthermore, the divorce was final 6 months later and he agreed to all conditions. And, this was after 24 years of marriage! No, there is never room for that kind of behavior in a marriage and no excuse for it. Send him packing. He will not change his behavior. And, never let a man have access to a business you worked hard to be successful. Sorry, love only takes it so far!!

[Malarie 0]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

[BarbSami 32]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

Malarie,

Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

she needs to be really scared

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

Malarie,

Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

(F) (F)

[BarbSami 32]

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

she needs to be really scared

Exactly. The culture thing is a total cop out. Giving to the family is fine and dandy but hiding it is #######. Just total #######.

Your husband want to share the fruit of his success with his family, it's something it runs in his blood and you can't change it.

Beside, Tunisian man still consider that his wife should not interfere with what he give to his family

There is a correct way to do this shareing, he is married now. (period) this man needs to realize where he is now and here it is not considered interferring but a part of marriage to confide and share what is happening in their lifes, its not much of a marriage if one is subtracting from the pot and the other not knowing

im glad im not the only one that feel this is a bunch of #######.if you love your family that much stay there with them and share the fruit of your sucess. Do not turn someoneelse life upside down with lies and unstability. I guess Tunisian men are the only one that love thier family. I didnt have a problem with helping his family but i think 22k in 5 months looks a lot like hes using me to take care of his family. Remodling his family home adding all new appliances and furnitureis a bit much at one time.

Barb

Malarie,

Every word you spoke is absolutely true. Thanks

WOW 22K??? I do not know you Barb but be smart.... you need to quietly take care of yourself BEFORE you confront ANYTHING. Once you confront him he will get nervous and possibly try to do something even more drastic than 22k... YIKES.

It sounds as if you are able to take care of yourself - so use your head wisely - take a good look at the big picture - get YOUR life (bank accounts etc....) in line and safe before you confront.

This man does not sound like he is only "helping" his family it sounds as if he is supporting or possibly setting up a dowry or a home for a new wife -- like I said we do not know each other so I maybe coming off as very direct but I have seen things and lived through enough to know that you need to take care of your children (if you have any) and yourself first.

THe thing that really gets me is that I am sure his family (at least a good portion of them) are not working back at home in Tunisia ... so in essence you are getting up every day --- going to work -- if you own your own business then you are most definately working long hard hours .... and for what???? SO his family can sit on their A$$'S????

oh no i dont think so -- ok sorry to be so loud on this subject but it is somewhat close to discussions that my hubby and I have recently had (not the chatting part) but the money part and sorry i am a firm believer that I work hard for my money for my family (my kids and my husband) so we can enjoy life set up college funds for the kids, go on nice vacations .. not so we can live like paupers because we are supporting his family!!!

I dont know about anyone else --- but MY family here well they all work -- hmmmm what a concept huh?

OK - im done -- getting off the soapbox

Malarie

you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad

Im not scared it could happen to any woman here or in the world. If I should be scared we all should be scared. There was no red lights.

I don think theres anyone that can really know ones intentions. I trusted him and trust is very important in any relationship or marriage. I didnt meet him on the net i met him i person here is USA. We dated 2 years before we married. Right now im working on a plan to destroy him. I will give it to him like he gave it to me he wont see it coming.

Barb

[Carlawarla 1]

Im not scared it could happen to any woman here or in the world. If I should be scared we all should be scared. There was no red lights.

I don think theres anyone that can really know ones intentions. I trusted him and trust is very important in any relationship or marriage. I didnt meet him on the net i met him i person here is USA. We dated 2 years before we married. Right now im working on a plan to destroy him. I will give it to him like he gave it to me he wont see it coming.

Barb

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Please ensure that you are physically and financially safe from your SO. Your plan to "destry him", and "give it to him like he gave it wo me, he won't see it coming"...is very disturbing. Please ensure you are free of this person, take a step back, and try to move on with your life. If need be, see a professional to help you work through this. Nothing...NOTHING comes from destroying someone else to get back at them. You may put your very own safety and freedom at risk.

[Ban Hammer 13,491]

you need to istall spyware onthe computer and record chat logs and get them translated....it sounds really really bad

um, no, she does not. that could very well be against the law.