Just found out husband chatting online with woman

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I have been there ... Foreign hubby chatting online. Finds job that involves travel, ends up seeing his chat "friend" during the evenings. She has been told he is single. She gets pregnant . He marries her , racks up credit in my name to support her ( sending the bills to a PO box so I don't know ) I find out and throw him out. They stay together ... guess what .. he is at it again this time he wiped out his retirement to set up the second home.

My advise get a good lawyer and run as fast as you can

Im sorry for your pain Sylvia_n_Joseph. maybe you are right but right now im waiting for my head to clear some.

Hows thing with you now? I pray that you are well and all is good for you.

Barb

This all happened 15 years ago , So it is more a historical chapter than anything else. I know he is wanting to file for citizenship . I would love to be a fly on the wall for that appointment. As far as I know he has commited bigomy and credit card fraud. I am sure there are things I don't know about

[pushbrk 13,117]

For some people, 4 years is a long time to be in a monogamous relationship. On the other hand, internet games (and other anonymous on-line interludes) are not uncommon in ANY relationship, and don't always lead to and aren't indicative of infidelity.

maybe so tito but it raises trust issues. Its not so much the chatting but claiming hes not married would indicate hes searching for something.

He may be searching for nothing more than an ego boost and a little adventure. Or, this may have been an existing online relationship he just didn't have the courage or motivation to end. That doesn't make it right but if I were you, I'd want to really understand what's going on before making any long lasting decisions.

Humans have weaknesses. Some have pornography issues that are viewed quite differently by one spouse than the next. Some are just looking for what they see as a harmless thrill. (not harmless, of course) If you both get to the bottom of it and then make certain he understands your thoughts and feelings on the matter, his subsequent behavior will tell you all you need to know.

There are all kinds of people and all kinds of marriage relationships. It's critical to know what you have in a partner and what you have in a relationship, then make informed choices.

[*JG* 2]

I would be so ticked off, I would confront him immediately. It is the one thing I will never tolerate. I wouldn't do it to him and I expect the same courtesy.

[Mini Dasrat 0]

I'm so sorry ...but if my husband do that to me or if I ever finds out he's cheating on me , I would be as angry & hurt as you are , I know how u feel Barb

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

drop him

I have waisted most of my life with that kind of problems.

It is a waist to even think about that he or she will change that behavior

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

drop him

I have waisted most of my life with that kind of problems.

It is a waist to even think about that he or she will change that behavior

This behavior only comes up if she or he don't love the person they live together with.

[Mini Dasrat 0]

drop him

I have waisted most of my life with that kind of problems.

It is a waist to even think about that he or she will change that behavior

This behavior only comes up if she or he don't love the person they live together with.

Thats Right For me... I would let go of that person who hurt me if I was in that position of being hurt by someone I love dearly ..cuz its no use trying to save your marriage when your spouse is unfaithful, makes no sense to keep holding onto someone who don't love you or have no feelings for you

[chispas 0]

I am sure there were other red flags before you decided to question his behavior. Search deep and figure out what you want to do because he may have been caught "this" time and not the other times. There is now right or wrong answer here, but follow your heart and decide whether to accept your decision without regrets.

[*Maureen* 0]

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I would not accept it and I would kick him to the curb and never look back!

[BarbSami 32]

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I would not accept it and I would kick him to the curb and never look back!

You all are very kind, warm hearted and understanding. Thanks to each of you for your advice. May God Bless You and Life Offers Good Things For Each One Of You.

Barb

[Nutty 2]

Dear Barb,

Can you please tell me what your relationship is like with your Tunisian in-laws? This does have some bearing on marriages at times. By this I mean, if they don't like you, they are more inclined to encourage him to find another wife. Or if they do like you, then they can be a support in chiding him and reminding him he has a wife and to treat her right.

Western people often don't realize that muslim families are very tight and do exert a lot of influence on individual members. This can be a benefit or a detriment depending on how the family likes you.

[tito 1]

Dear Barb,

Can you please tell me what your relationship is like with your Tunisian in-laws? This does have some bearing on marriages at times. By this I mean, if they don't like you, they are more inclined to encourage him to find another wife. Or if they do like you, then they can be a support in chiding him and reminding him he has a wife and to treat her right.

Western people often don't realize that muslim families are very tight and do exert a lot of influence on individual members. This can be a benefit or a detriment depending on how the family likes you.

Parents can only do so much...the person is still an individual and will do whatever they want, regardless of family pressure, regardless of the culture. The fact that the person left and went so far away from his or her family goes to show you the extent to which the person is seeking his or her own destiny.

[*JG* 2]

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I would not accept it and I would kick him to the curb and never look back!

I'm in agreement with this one too.

[BarbSami 32]

Dear Barb,

Can you please tell me what your relationship is like with your Tunisian in-laws? This does have some bearing on marriages at times. By this I mean, if they don't like you, they are more inclined to encourage him to find another wife. Or if they do like you, then they can be a support in chiding him and reminding him he has a wife and to treat her right.

Western people often don't realize that muslim families are very tight and do exert a lot of influence on individual members. This can be a benefit or a detriment depending on how the family likes you.

To be honest im not sure where i stand with them. when i visited there i was treated like family. I dont speak with them much thier english is not good and i really been too busy b/c i have full time job and business. Im not sure about the situation b/c one can never tell what one is really thinking

[confuseddd 0]

I would confront him. But what good is that really going to do? He'll just make excuses. Why in the world does he save his chat logs anyway? I find that extremely odd. I know if I were trying to sneak around I would delete all chat logs/cookies/ANY history. Although I would never do that, I'm just trying to think of what goes through a cheating mind.

To me, chatting with another woman and telling her he is not married is not acceptable. Period. There really is no way to excuse that imho. There are no lies he could come up with that could make that any less painful and make me less suspicious in the future. If you have no kids, I would say that is a deal breaker. But we all have different limits as to what we are willing to put up with. It doesn't make any of us better or worse than you because of what are opinions are on this. I wish you the best in your deicision either way.