I've created a monster!!!!!

[jawi876 2]

Minister: Can everyone please stay seated and remain calm. I’m sure this situation will work itself out. Please stay calm, and remember the reason we are gathered together today.

Melodee stands up and reaches for Ian as he nears the bride. She follows slightly behind him as he continues walking.

Melodee: Ian what is going on baby? Who is she? Is this your ex?

Toya: Ian, I know I should have called you to tell you it was over between us. Honestly, I wanted you to suffer some of the hardship you made me endure. I’m not in love with you Ian. You made my life absolutely insufferable. You didn’t love me, I don’t think you ever loved me…admit it Ian. Who is the woman behind you? I see you are still up to your old wh*ring ways. Why are you here?

Ian: I knew you were up to some bullsh** when I saw our joint accounts. I saw you making purchases for a wedding, but I was foolish enough to think you were preparing for our wedding. Did you really think I would be okay with financing your wedding to another man? I came down here to get you and take you home.

Melodee: Are you going to tell her about me Ian? Or, do you want me to?

Toya: It really doesn’t matter to me sweetie. I don’t care to know who Ian decides to spend his time with anymore. If you are as smart as you look, you would run far away from him. Ian is caustic, he is not fit to be with any woman.

[jawi876 2]

Mya: T! This is the bit** I told you about the other day. I beat this trick’s a** at Travis’ house!

Tradee: Mya! Remember our baby. Stay out of it! Low har Melodee!

Melodee: Bit**? Trick? Eh eh. Yuh tink yuh beat mi rass? Likkle gyal run tuh yuh man before mi box yuh pu**clat!

Minister: STOP IT! RIGHT THIS MINUTE! WWE ARE GATHERED IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD! Fitz and Toya I suggest you take control of this situation, or I will leave.

Fitz: Toya and Mya please go back to the altar. I’ll handle this. Look boss, mi sarry yuh find hout like dis. But, mi ago marry mi Empress tiddey undastand? Yuh can lef de place peacefully like har hask yuh, or mi cyan mek yuh lef…de choice ah fe yuh fe mek. Mi nuh bodda wid phockery and chatty chatty wuds dem. Whaa yuh fe do?

Tradee stands next to Fitz and they both wait on Ian to make a decision. Ian realizes that he is outnumbered, and silently concedes. He stalks up the walkway toward the exit. Melodee hesitates slightly, and runs after him.

Ian: I never wanted your fat a** anyway bit**! This sh** is not over. You have to come back home sometime. Remember that!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Toya: It really doesn’t matter to me sweetie. I don’t care to know who Ian decides to spend his time with anymore. If you are as smart as you look, you would run far away from him. Ian is caustic, he is not fit to be with any woman.

damn right..mek she tan deh

[Jengles 0]

just for the record I had nothing to do with it...I was laying there minding my own business

I just bet. I'm thinking the Stella story is helping Marlita work some obeah on her microphone. I think I will calm down on some of the heated elements of the story. kikikikiki

Oh no please don't,

Ladies, when u man just come, please find all sorts of work for him to do. Let him do anybody's yard, paint, whatever it doesn't matter, if u no the person yes or no, when they come and have nothing to do, they only thing they want to do is

then the sperm is all extra strong and have two tail instead of one and have legs too. It can burn through I.U.D and neutrilize pills...better yet ladies when u man first come be on two methods.

[*JG* 2]

just for the record I had nothing to do with it...I was laying there minding my own business

I just bet. I'm thinking the Stella story is helping Marlita work some obeah on her microphone. I think I will calm down on some of the heated elements of the story. kikikikiki

Oh no please don't,

Ladies, when u man just come, please find all sorts of work for him to do. Let him do anybody's yard, paint, whatever it doesn't matter, if u no the person yes or no, when they come and have nothing to do, they only thing they want to do is

then the sperm is all extra strong and have two tail instead of one and have legs too. It can burn through I.U.D and neutrilize pills...better yet ladies when u man first come be on two methods.

Oh, #######..............I just spit diet Pepsi all over my computer screen with this one. You are too crazy, Jengles!

[jawi876 2]

just for the record I had nothing to do with it...I was laying there minding my own business

I just bet. I'm thinking the Stella story is helping Marlita work some obeah on her microphone. I think I will calm down on some of the heated elements of the story. kikikikiki

Oh no please don't,

Ladies, when u man just come, please find all sorts of work for him to do. Let him do anybody's yard, paint, whatever it doesn't matter, if u no the person yes or no, when they come and have nothing to do, they only thing they want to do is

then the sperm is all extra strong and have two tail instead of one and have legs too. It can burn through I.U.D and neutrilize pills...better yet ladies when u man first come be on two methods.

kikikiki...mi his unfortunately safe. Mi cyaan breed agen oh no! Mi can henjoy de wuk same wey still. *sigh*

[SupportOAFJF 0]

just for the record I had nothing to do with it...I was laying there minding my own business

I just bet. I'm thinking the Stella story is helping Marlita work some obeah on her microphone. I think I will calm down on some of the heated elements of the story. kikikikiki

Oh no please don't,

Ladies, when u man just come, please find all sorts of work for him to do. Let him do anybody's yard, paint, whatever it doesn't matter, if u no the person yes or no, when they come and have nothing to do, they only thing they want to do is

then the sperm is all extra strong and have two tail instead of one and have legs too. It can burn through I.U.D and neutrilize pills...better yet ladies when u man first come be on two methods.

ahhahaa...woaiiiiieee !!!!!....

Ian ..wait til mi ketch u RASS..mi ago show u who FAT !!!

[jawi876 2]

Mya uses her handkerchief to lightly dab at Toya’s tears before they have a chance to ruin her make-up.

Mya: Don’t cry T. Don’t give him the satisfaction. You are still going to marry the man of your dreams. We can handle him after your day is over. Cheer up okay?

Toya: Why didn’t I just end things with him? Why didn’t I just tell him? I’ve ruined everything. How will I ever make it up to Fitz? He didn’t deserve this. I’m so sorry Pastor Brown. This is all my fault!

Fitz walks up to Toya when he is satisfied that Ian no longer poses a threat. Tradee kisses Mya lightly, then he goes over to do damage control with Jah Cure’s entourage.

Fitz: Baby. I never told you, but Jah Cure is a personal friend of mine. We grew up together. When he found out that I was getting married and that you loved his work, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’m sorry you didn’t get to enjoy my surprise. I love you, and I don’t want to hear you blaming yourself for the actions of an idiot.

*Tradee walks over and whispers in Fitz’s ear. Tradee informs Fitz that Toya’s second surprise has arrived, albeit late. Fitz and Tradee smile at each other. Fitz looks at Jah Cure, and Jah Cure nods in the affirmative.*

Fitz: Pastor, we shouldn’t have any more interruptions. Would you mind if we started from the beginning? I want my bride to have nothing but pleasant memories of the day she became my wife.

Frowzy can you please take Toya back up to the church so we can start over?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

START OVER !!! how oonuh so boring..cha !! oonuh a go mel Ian come back an reck it again

[jawi876 2]

Tradee: Guests, friends and family, we apologize for the rough start, and we thank you fo your patience. We will start again momentarily. Please bear with us as we refocus on the reason we all came together. Peace and blessings. Jahrastafari.

*The wedding party again makes its way back down the aisle. Mya and Tradee come down right before the bride. When Toya begins her walk again, the audience rises to their feet. Toya looks nervously at the crowd, afraid of any more distractions. Just as she reaches the back row of the audience, her parents step out into the aisle to join her. Toya puts her hand to her mouth, and begins weeping. Toya’s parents each kiss her, and they all walk toward Fitz and the altar. The crowd erupts with thunderous applause and cheers.

Fitz steps out to greet his bride and new in-laws. He kisses his mother-in-law on the cheek, shakes his father-in-law’s hand and takes Toya’s hand into the crook of his arm. The cheers and applause die down as the audience takes their seats.

Jah Cure begins serenading the couple with a beautiful acapella version of “Love Is.” The minister clears his throat when the song ends, and starts the wedding ceremony again.*

Minister: Love Is. Love is God and God is love. Amen? Amen. Love is everything, and everything is God. Friends and family we are gathered here to witness the ultimate commitment born of love, a union in holy matrimony before the presence of God. God represents an agape love, an unconditional love. Love conquers all, as we witnessed today. Love…agape love conquered the seeds of Satan here today. Satan is a liar and a thief, he is a respector of none, man, woman or child. Amen? Hallejiuah! Love is, everything that our young bredrin Mr. Cure sang about today. Love is the union of two equally yoked souls joining together until death parts them. Love is GOD!! Please bow your heads and join me in prayer.

Everyone bows their head in prayer. The minister says the prayer, and the crowd joins in saying Amen.

Minister: Heavenly Father, we are gathered here in your presence to witness the joining together of two of your children, Fitzroy Nevis Davidson and Toya Denise Richardson. You said in Your Word that when tree or more are joined together in your name Lord. I have known Fitzroy since he was a young youth. Fitzroy is an honourable young man, and he is a man of great character. I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Richardson on several occasions in the last week or so. She is anointed, highly favored and bless-ed by the Lord. I could go on and on about the goodness of God and His love, but I will respect our need of timeliness. Now, ladies and gentlemen Fitzroy and Tonya have written their own vows. Fitzroy would you like to begin?

[jawi876 2]

START OVER !!! how oonuh so boring..cha !! oonuh a go mel Ian come back an reck it again

Hursh! Ow yuh beg a fight so much!? Yuh likkle mean pregnant behind...stand dere and wait!

CHO!

[jawi876 2]

Fitz: Thank you Pastor. Toya Denise Richardson, you are my blessing from God. I never thought I would be blessed with a second chance at true love. I thought that I was content being a single father, raising my son alone…until you came into my life. I will spend the rest of my life making you smile, surprising you and pleasing you. You are my destiny…my forever Toya. I promise to always seek your opinions, and we will go together and kneel in prayer to our Lord and Father. I promise to love, honor and cherish you all the days of my life. I love you Toya.

Toya: I love you too Fitz. Fitzroy, I don’t bring a lot of experience into this marriage. I don’t know how you managed to see past all the emotional flaws and baggage I came packaged in. You offered me love and friendship from the very beginning, no questions and no fears. I give my heart, my friendship and my love to you for eternity. I-I-I…whew…okay…whew. Because of the pureness of your love, I am made whole. I am no longer a mere shell existing in shadows. You saved me Fitz, and made me realize what living truly entailed. I would walk to the ends of Earth just to be by your side. I am your-your friend, your lover, your-ww-iffe…and the mother of your children. I promise to love, honor and cherish you all the days of my life. I love you so much baby.

Jr., come to Mommy T baby.

Toya stoops down, and holds her arms out for Fitz Jr. Fitz Jr. hesitates from shyness, then runs full force into Toya’s welcoming arms. Toya hugs and kisses him on his forehead.

Toya: I love you too little man. Mommy T wants to pledge her commitment to you too honey. Now, Mommy T knows that she can never take the place of your mommy. But, I want to take care of you while your Mommy is busy as an Angel in Heaven. Do you mind if I hang around and take care of you for a while?

Jr: Mommy T….yuh ask mi dat halready…cho…yuh gwaan like yuh mad. Mi like yuh same wey still. Yuh halready promise fe love mi and mi daddy lang time. Kikikiki

Fitz: Son.

Toya: It’s okay Fitz. I guess that settles it huh. Ha-ha.

Minister: Ha-ha! From the mouth of babes. Fitzroy Nevis Davidson, do you take Toya Denise Richardson to be your wife, companion and confidante? Do you promise to respect, honor and love her all the days of your life?

Fitz: I do. I do.

Minister: Toya Denise Richardson, do you take Fitzroy Nevis Davidson to be your husband, companion and confidante? Do you promise to respect, honor and love him all the days of your life?

Toya: I do. Always.

The minister blesses and anoints their rings, they exchange rings and place the bracelet Toya bought Fitz Jr. on his little arm together. Then, the minister introduces the unity sand ceremony. The minister uses sand from the beach for the foundation. Fitz uses black, Toya uses green and Fitz Jr uses yellow sand.

Minister: Friends and family, please join me in congratulating and welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Fitzroy Nevis Davidson, on this day of our Lord God. Son, you may kiss your beautiful bride.

Fitz stares at Toya for a long moment, before he slowly places his hands around her face. He kisses her eyelids, her two dimples and finally he painstakingly consumes her waiting mouth as if he has all the time in the world. The crowd erupts in cheers and applause for the second time.

[jawi876 2]

Tradee walks up and kisses Mya. They hug and embrace and watch the happy couple as Jah Cure seranades them again. His song choice is “Good Morning Sunshine.” The couple walk hand in hand with Fitzroy Jr in the middle back up the aisle. The wedding party slowly follows the couple back up to the abandoned church.

Tradee: Baby are you okay? You look pale and sick. Do you need something?

Mya: No…I’m feeling sick again. I think all the excitement, and going a couple of hours without eating…oooo…I’ll be right back. No, it’s okay. Can you take my purse? Go and tell Fitz and T that I’ll be right back to take pictures. I love you Travis.

Tradee: Are you sure? I can go with you, and make sure you are okay. Okay, I’ll go find something to help you clean up afterwards. I love you too Empress.

Mya walks toward the small waterfall, figuring she can clean up using some of the clean spring water. Just as she finishes emptying her stomach, she feels someone behind her.

Mya: Travis, baby. I told you I would be okay. You dote too much. A girl can get…spoiled…can get…Delmar? What are you doing? Delmar, no! Leave me…TRA…!!!!

Delmar grabs Mya, and places his hand over her mouth. When Mya struggles and tries to free herself, he uses the butt of his gun to knock her out. Delmar picks Mya up effortlessly, and carries her through thick bush and weeds…away from the wedding site.

Delmar: I'm sorry Mya baby. I had to get you away from Rasta for a little while. You are my HEarth HAngel, and now my wife. We will have so much fun consummating our wedding night.

[brownnskinn 0]

Ian: I never wanted your fat a** anyway bit**! This sh** is not over. You have to come back home sometime. Remember that!

Ha ha...dem always come wit dis!!!! somboddi follow his rass out and lick em one PHLEASE!!!!!!

[brownnskinn 0]

then the sperm is all extra strong and have two tail instead of one and have legs too. It can burn through I.U.D and neutrilize pills...better yet ladies when u man first come be on two methods.

Too funny