child support arrearages, back taxes and dui's k 1visa

[rebeccajo 14]

Possible? of course, but why do it when it does not benefit you. It's not my former wife that pays the government tribute, it's me. I don't know many couples that split in such good terms they are willing to trust each other in "pay direct" arrangement.

It's also not required to go through the governement channels to deduct it. You can work out details with the other parent to pay amongst yourselves.

Because then you wouldn't have to pay the fee?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Why are you getting all dramatic? I have a need to support my children. Let me repeat slowly, my c h i l d r e n. If you read my previous post you will see, my child support is only more former wife support. My children receive no benefit from her new $100 haircuts. My point is this money should be used for my children exclusively. Oh, an BTW, my children see what their mother does with their money. I don't have to say a word. They are on my side.

Oh, really-!!! Would you like to see my support agreement? The government receives a nice percentage, in the form of an administrative fee, each and every time child support is stripped out of my check. How is that not taking for themselves? Obviously the more they levy, the more they line their own pockets.

As for sexist remark, I call the child support system as I see it, a huge sexist concept.

OMG.

Tell that to your kids. I bet they'll appreciate it.

Why is the notion of support such a big damn deal with MEN? Oh, wait a minute - I think I get it. Since you only contributed sperm to the creation of the child, you then feel you no other obligation beyond that point? Like typically you might have wasted it going down the shower drain?

My son knows his father always paid his support. He also knows how his dad wouldn't pay for one other damn thing beyond that because his father constantly told us that was 'plenty' to pay. Your kids REMEMBER what you say to them - how they see you act and behave towards them after the court has made mandates. When a child feels their love alone - their mere existence - isn't worthy of a few bucks - well no wonder they so often turn away from the person paying the support who also has a chip on their shoulder.

Boo hoo you have to pay child support. And an 'administrative fee' too. You make me want to cry rivers for you.

[mustang-sally 8]

My DF pays child support and his ex spends it on drink. She can't hold a job down. I don't think that is the idea!!! that the child ends up supporting his mother. The money is never spent on his son, even when the poor lad got a small part time job she took his money.

We are trying for custody, he's 15 and desperately wants to live with his dad. We probably won't ask for child support off her as she is in debt up to her eyeballs and would never pay it anyway even if she had a job.

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm getting 'dramatic' because you are generalizing about the system based upon the injustices you see in your own personal situation. And - because you are blaming the system on women.

How old are your kids? Here, kids can choose whom they live with at the age of 14. Could your children live with you?

Since the support is for your c h i l d r e n - how would you propose the system be changed? Should an ex provide an accounting each month of how they spend their money? Should haircuts and other 'non-essentials' be banned? Does a portion of the money spent on a mortgage payment, gasoline, groceries, and utilities (from a household budget) get factored into 'support'? Or would you contend not?

Why are you getting all dramatic? I have a need to support my children. Let me repeat slowly, my c h i l d r e n. If you read my previous post you will see, my child support is only more former wife support. My children receive no benefit from her new $100 haircuts. My point is this money should be used for my children exclusively. Oh, an BTW, my children see what their mother does with their money. I don't have to say a word. They are on my side.

Oh, really-!!! Would you like to see my support agreement? The government receives a nice percentage, in the form of an administrative fee, each and every time child support is stripped out of my check. How is that not taking for themselves? Obviously the more they levy, the more they line their own pockets.

As for sexist remark, I call the child support system as I see it, a huge sexist concept.

OMG.

Tell that to your kids. I bet they'll appreciate it.

Why is the notion of support such a big damn deal with MEN? Oh, wait a minute - I think I get it. Since you only contributed sperm to the creation of the child, you then feel you no other obligation beyond that point? Like typically you might have wasted it going down the shower drain?

My son knows his father always paid his support. He also knows how his dad wouldn't pay for one other damn thing beyond that because his father constantly told us that was 'plenty' to pay. Your kids REMEMBER what you say to them - how they see you act and behave towards them after the court has made mandates. When a child feels their love alone - their mere existence - isn't worthy of a few bucks - well no wonder they so often turn away from the person paying the support who also has a chip on their shoulder.

Boo hoo you have to pay child support. And an 'administrative fee' too. You make me want to cry rivers for you.

[*JG* 2]

Rare, very rare. I know not one. And I know plenty of divorced people.

Well, I hate to tell you this; but men in single parent households get child support as well.

Possible? of course, but why do it when it does not benefit you. It's not my former wife that pays the government tribute, it's me. I don't know many couples that split in such good terms they are willing to trust each other in "pay direct" arrangement.

It's also not required to go through the governement channels to deduct it. You can work out details with the other parent to pay amongst yourselves.

I do know of many who pay directly to one another and get along just fine.

The benefits would be no administration fee. That is what I was getting at with my posts.

[*JG* 2]

My DF pays child support and his ex spends it on drink. She can't hold a job down. I don't think that is the idea!!! that the child ends up supporting his mother. The money is never spent on his son, even when the poor lad got a small part time job she took his money.

We are trying for custody, he's 15 and desperately wants to live with his dad. We probably won't ask for child support off her as she is in debt up to her eyeballs and would never pay it anyway even if she had a job.

This post and the $100 hair cut comment from Kazan' Tiger make me sad. If that is what is truly happening and the child is not being cared for properly, then the case needs to go back to court. I do know it costs quite a bit to raise a child....the expenses are unreal sometimes. I find it very rude for my ex- to tell me what I can and cannot spend money on, even if some of it is coming from him in the form of child support. That little bit of money is no where near what it costs to raise my children.

Rare, very rare. I know not one. And I know plenty of divorced people.

Well, I hate to tell you this; but men in single parent households get child support as well.

Possible? of course, but why do it when it does not benefit you. It's not my former wife that pays the government tribute, it's me. I don't know many couples that split in such good terms they are willing to trust each other in "pay direct" arrangement.

It's also not required to go through the governement channels to deduct it. You can work out details with the other parent to pay amongst yourselves.

I know of quite a few men receiving support.

[*JG* 2]

I'm getting 'dramatic' because you are generalizing about the system based upon the injustices you see in your own personal situation. And - because you are blaming the system on women.

How old are your kids? Here, kids can choose whom they live with at the age of 14. Could your children live with you?

Since the support is for your c h i l d r e n - how would you propose the system be changed? Should an ex provide an accounting each month of how they spend their money? Should haircuts and other 'non-essentials' be banned? Does a portion of the money spent on a mortgage payment, gasoline, groceries, and utilities (from a household budget) get factored into 'support'? Or would you contend not?

Why are you getting all dramatic? I have a need to support my children. Let me repeat slowly, my c h i l d r e n. If you read my previous post you will see, my child support is only more former wife support. My children receive no benefit from her new $100 haircuts. My point is this money should be used for my children exclusively. Oh, an BTW, my children see what their mother does with their money. I don't have to say a word. They are on my side.

Oh, really-!!! Would you like to see my support agreement? The government receives a nice percentage, in the form of an administrative fee, each and every time child support is stripped out of my check. How is that not taking for themselves? Obviously the more they levy, the more they line their own pockets.

As for sexist remark, I call the child support system as I see it, a huge sexist concept.

OMG.

Tell that to your kids. I bet they'll appreciate it.

Why is the notion of support such a big damn deal with MEN? Oh, wait a minute - I think I get it. Since you only contributed sperm to the creation of the child, you then feel you no other obligation beyond that point? Like typically you might have wasted it going down the shower drain?

My son knows his father always paid his support. He also knows how his dad wouldn't pay for one other damn thing beyond that because his father constantly told us that was 'plenty' to pay. Your kids REMEMBER what you say to them - how they see you act and behave towards them after the court has made mandates. When a child feels their love alone - their mere existence - isn't worthy of a few bucks - well no wonder they so often turn away from the person paying the support who also has a chip on their shoulder.

Boo hoo you have to pay child support. And an 'administrative fee' too. You make me want to cry rivers for you.

Great minds, RJ.........I was just calculating in my head how much it costs to raise my children......child support is no where near the cost of rearing them.

I had to chuckle at your monthly accounting. I think the whole system would dramatically change if that were the case. Many people would end up paying a lot more then they pay now.

[mustang-sally 8]

I'm sure there are many people who pay support for their child whether its to a mother or father. The idea being that the money goes towards the upkeep of the child.

My DF ends up buying all his childs clothes, books, etc on top of child support because his ex doesn't and he can't bear to see his child go without. He is filing for custody now because I will be there soon. He has had to work so many hours to support his child in the last few years and would of stood no chance of getting custody because he was always at work. We have a good case, his son is desperate to move in with us.

It would be such a pleasure to claim child support off her but I'm thinking why bother? we won't get it and it will just be added onto the pile of debts she already owes. It's such a sad situation, he's a really good intelligent kid and definately deserves more.

[mustang-sally 8]

BTW sorry Prima and Jay for hijacking your topic

FYI My DF has many issues and so did I, we were approved, no problem.

PM me if you want to know more.

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm sure there are many people who pay support for their child whether its to a mother or father. The idea being that the money goes towards the upkeep of the child.

My DF ends up buying all his childs clothes, books, etc on top of child support because his ex doesn't and he can't bear to see his child go without. He is filing for custody now because I will be there soon. He has had to work so many hours to support his child in the last few years and would of stood no chance of getting custody because he was always at work. We have a good case, his son is desperate to move in with us.

It would be such a pleasure to claim child support off her but I'm thinking why bother? we won't get it and it will just be added onto the pile of debts she already owes. It's such a sad situation, he's a really good intelligent kid and definately deserves more.

I hope he gets custody too - if the mother is not taking care of the child, the child should live with the father. I hope it works out for you.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I am not blaming the system on women. I am blaming it on a government that still views women as little helpless creatures that need a man to support them. Evidence of this is everywhere at the local child support office here. I am hardly sexist, I've had plenty of female supervisors that I respected far more than their male counterparts.

I would like to see child support placed on a reloadable debit card. It would show proof of where the money is being spent. I am not getting in to every little household expense. My opinion is, if the expense does not increase by the presence of a child, it should not count.

As for the age of 14 to choose... My former wife told the children they can not leave her household until they reach their 18th birthday. My daughter already keeps a countdown as she wants to live with me. I know another family, same area, in a similar situation. The man's daughter walked out on her mother and went to live with her father on her 18th birthday.

I'm getting 'dramatic' because you are generalizing about the system based upon the injustices you see in your own personal situation. And - because you are blaming the system on women.

How old are your kids? Here, kids can choose whom they live with at the age of 14. Could your children live with you?

Since the support is for your c h i l d r e n - how would you propose the system be changed? Should an ex provide an accounting each month of how they spend their money? Should haircuts and other 'non-essentials' be banned? Does a portion of the money spent on a mortgage payment, gasoline, groceries, and utilities (from a household budget) get factored into 'support'? Or would you contend not?

[rebeccajo 14]

It doesn't matter what your ex tells the child. What does the law say?

For example - if the law says 14, then the child could walk out of their mother's house on their 14th birthday and into their father's car waiting outside the mother's house, and there would not be squat the mother could do to stop them.

Edited January 22, 2008 by rebeccajo

[diadromous mermaid 36]

a few financial irregularities.

Yikes!

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

All I've found so far is the court will take a minor child's opinion into consideration. I see nothing where a child under the age of 18 can chose without permission.

It doesn't matter what your ex tells the child. What does the law say?

For example - if the law says 14, then the child could walk out of their mother's house on their 14th birthday and into their father's car waiting outside the mother's house, and there would not be squat the mother could do to stop them.

[*JG* 2]

It doesn't matter what your ex tells the child. What does the law say?

For example - if the law says 14, then the child could walk out of their mother's house on their 14th birthday and into their father's car waiting outside the mother's house, and there would not be squat the mother could do to stop them.

Well, RJ.....unless they file as emancipated minors or the parents return to court to adjust, wouldn't they fall under the divorce, custody, visitation and child support decrees until they are 18?