i-601: General Moral Support, i-601 app

[Bootylicious!! 2]

I am so ready to run in the sun with my flip flops on. I wore sandals yesterday but it was just for a little while. Now back to the cold for a few weeks. Javier doesn't really try to keep up with what is going on in Mexico. Actually, I have to make him call down there. He never calls his family. We are in the same boat as you, Stephanie. It's not like we are ready to call it quits but it's just different. He is different. You really should try to get away for a few days. It really helped Javier and I. Just to go to another town or something would be good. Well I hope we all make it through this weird stage and it's nice to know we have people to compare notes with. I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with Javier and I. Glad to know we are still "normal".

Ashley: I hate to tell Diane but I think she will go through it too. Javier and I had the strongest relationship I thought was possible for two people to have and it's still happening to us. I think it's just natural after being away from someone for so long. She might even have it extra bad because she has been away from her husband a lot longer than we were ours. I hope it doesn't happen to her but odds are it will. At least you have been through it and you can help her out when the time comes.

[elvia 0]

So were the sparks all gone? was there no connection after a week or two of being back.... talk to me guys!!

[mnmex 0]

Elvia…I don’t know how to describe it except as remember before you got married people told you that your relationship would be different after you were married? (O.k., well at least people told me that). 3 weeks after Miguel and I met we moved in together, yes I know it was fast but it felt right, and it was right. Well 1.5 yrs after that we married. So we had plenty of experience living together and “acting” like a married couple…but after we were married, just as everyone had said, things were different. Not in a bad way, just a different way. And seriously I don’t know how to describe it. It kinda feels like that kind of different now. Luckily digging through my memory in my feeble mind it seems that “differentness” only lasted a few months… I hope this one does too.

[ashleydpinzon 0]

Elvia dont worry hun the sparks our there but sometimes the woman in us want to use them to burn our man in the *** to get them back on track .lol

Me personally almost everything was a little different. Tacho acts different , looks a little different, and at first treated me like i was his mom. In the bed was different. First it was come up for air then it was like where in the world did he go? Uh hes asleep? already! I guess its hard to admit but some of the change was in me and I was blaming him. For me I had never been alone. We got shacked up as my great gram likes to say when I was seventeen and I have always depended on him. I mean I worked and stuff , but not having to cook, make tortillas, be home at a certain time, or answer to someone made me a little more independent and yes a little more STRONGER!

[mnmex 0]

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No the sparks are still definitely there! There is no problem with that…just seems how we relate to each other has changed.

[ashleydpinzon 0]

Well put Steph . Tacho and I lived together for two years but when we got married it did change. for me though its getting back to normal but a NEW normal. lol

[elvia 0]

But are things different to where they can be worked or is it too much of a difference that you think to yourself why am I still here? I mean is it so much that you start looking for a confidant? I remember when I was going thru ####### with my now ex-husband I thought this is just wrong, why am I still putting into this with out anything in return???? You know what I mean?

[ashleydpinzon 0]

Yeah the sparks are still there. Some of ours might have to do w/ having the housemate here w/ us so shortly after tachos return. We are getting back to our normal laundry routine I guess that is why I have taken three nights off from work this month. lol

For us Its like it can be worked out almost I hate you but I love you things. Like when your mad and you just get madder because you want to smile.

[mnmex 0]

Oh things can definitely be worked out…but some of the oddity of it all is that I don’t know how to put my finger on what exactly needs to be worked out. This past weekend it got so weird that Miguel said maybe we need some time apart and I was like dude…we’ve been apart 6.5 months, I really don’t think that is what we need. It wasn’t necessarily that he wanted to separate, just that you get so exasperated as to what is bothering you both that you go for the quick fix…which in the end can be devastating. No worries though, we aren’t separating.

I think we need to do some laundry and chill out. I am such an overanalyzer that I try to figure every nuance out and it is making me bonkers. So instead this weekend I drank quite a bit of wine and dyed my hair. It turned out very interesting…not really what I expected but it is different. I am known to change my hair when I go through a change in life. My hair changed color and cut almost every other week in college…things were quite a bit more crazy back then!

[ashleydpinzon 0]

Tacho has had said them exact words steph! Once he even said get out of my pants refering to we did not have to be together 24/7. I did that last week except for on Tequila. Didnt do so well, the next day I was sick as a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey jessngeorge nice to see u! seen you in i2us welcome!

[elvia 0]

Thanks Steph!

it is just SCARY at so many levels to know that I will be going thru this immigration journey. I think I have gone thru all levels of grieve, like bargaining, anger, depression and then finally acceptance. It still worries me though. Do I make sense or is it just the paranoia?

[ashleydpinzon 0]

I dont know about yall but when Tacho was in mexico I felt like it would be easier if he were dead. I mean when someone dies you grieve yet you realize that they are not coming back and you learn to step forward where as with immigration you have no control and no clue exactly the outcome . I am so glad it is over but I will never forget that phase of my life.

[Bootylicious!! 2]

You are so on the right track Stephanie. That is exactly how I feel. Javier has said the same words too. I was the same way as you. I mean, he just came back, I don't want him gone again. And I have never thought being apart was a way to work on your relationship. It's the same way with us, you just can't put your finger on what is wrong. It's really weird.

[ashleydpinzon 0]

Being apart is NOT a way to work on a relationship. It is a way out. I think it isnt something you can put a finger on more or less it is several things just out there.

[Bootylicious!! 2]

Oh yeah, Elvia: The sparks are definitely there. We do more laundry now than we ever did. Except when we first started dating. It's great. Plus we have that other issue we have been working through also which makes it especially tough for us. Don't worry to much about it. It's not so overwhelming that you would want to throw in the towel. At least I don't want too.