Have U Ever Hid Your Relationship w/ A Foreigner To Avoid Criticism?

[DeadPoolX 9]

Have u ever hid your relationship w/ a foreigner to avoid criticism? Some people would rather keep their relationship w/ a foreigner to themselves so that they don't have to hear unwanted comments such as:

Long distance relationships don't last.

Why couldn't u just find love in your own country?

Are u sure they're not only after you for a green card?

I've never hidden it. I know some people do, but that's really an issue with themselves rather than their partner being from outside their home country.

As for the statements up above...

1. Long-distance relationships can last, they're just more difficult and require more work. It's not easy being apart from your significant other, especially when it's for months at a time.

2. I fail to see what countries really have to do with love. Love, in of itself, is illogical, so while it might make more sense to find someone in your own country (if for no other reason, it's a lot easier to deal with than going through this immigration hell), we rarely -- if ever -- think logically when concerning our love for our partner.

3. Perhaps some foreign SO's are only after a green card (I'd be wary of "mail order brides"), but in my own case, my SO is from Canada. She has no reason to leave her home country except for me.

[sj5 4]

Have u ever hid your relationship w/ a foreigner to avoid criticism? Some people would rather keep their relationship w/ a foreigner to themselves so that they don't have to hear unwanted comments such as:

Long distance relationships don't last.

Why couldn't u just find love in your own country?

Are u sure they're not only after you for a green card?

why worrying? its only you worrying in anything that don't belong to you

[sj5 4]

Are you insecure with foreigners who taking all girls out of your country? you have no rights to rule my life..even my father cannot tell me whom I want to be with...

[almaty 19]

not with a furnier..and i dated in colle..a malyasian..almost married her..a girl from hong kong..a girl from japan ...later..married a lady from honduras..lived with a lady from mexico city...

[~Chad~ 0]

Brother Dean, you are an international-playa

[almaty 19]

Brother Dean, you are an international-playa

when i was in college..i had a thing for Asian girls///dated 3 through college..the Malaysia lady aminah was one of the nicest people i have ever known..i was married to a Honduran, my sons mom, and a Filipino..both were citizens..the Filipino was a psychologist,.,,,,,,too controlling..cody's mom..disappeared when cody was 8 months old...i raised him ..and he has seen his mother 1 x for 30 minutes in his life..

[N400-2011 24]

My ex-husband didn't tell his family nor most of his friends that we had gotten married until two months later. I had to insist because I felt so bad about it - his family was always telling us that we should get married, and they had everything planned out. We would have to take off our rings when we were around them. His reason: that he didn't want anyone to think badly of me... All of my family and friends knew. Looking back now, I guess that should have been a warning to me of things to come.

[john & jean 37]

...Having been married previously to an all american girl, I can say for sure if not for my so called foreigner I would not have ever had a serious relationship. Nothing against american girls, however the so called friends respond should respond does not affect me. If hiding my relations with my wife no matter where she is from is ever required then I do not need them. I don't base my feelings on other peoples opinions. If you are insecure about green card hunters, maybe you need to examine the cause of those emotions. After getting to know my wife, I would have married her even if she was from mars. I wonder how long it takes uscis to approve martians ???? { NO OFFENSE INTENDED } john&jean

[JVKn'CVO 11]

He better not have!

or he knows what's coming to him

Saludos,

Caro

[yassmine2878 1]

Have u ever hid your relationship w/ a foreigner to avoid criticism? Some people would rather keep their relationship w/ a foreigner to themselves so that they don't have to hear unwanted comments such as:

Long distance relationships don't last.

Why couldn't u just find love in your own country?

Are u sure they're not only after you for a green card?

I personally hid the depth of my relationship with DH for a long time because I got soooo sick of answering their retarded questions and defending myself against their small-minded viewpoints. Once we got engaged and filed for the K-1, I didnt bother hiding it from anyone. In my mind, that was the point of no return.

Im the first person in my family to marry a foreigner (unless you count back several generations when my ancestors came to this country, etc). And also the first in the family to carry on a serious relationship over the internet. My family had no precedence on which to base their behavior, so I got some biases. My father was incensed when I announced my engagement to a Muslim. And drove 9 hours to come give me a good talking to. That was 2 years ago and he has since become fast friends with my husband.

I think we've all heard these comments from friends, family, and coworkers at some point. LDR relationships are somewhat common in my family, so that really wasnt an issue raised. I did get the "why cant you find someone here" or variations of it from all sorts of people (even perfect strangers). To which I would reply "I tried, but they're all womanizers and wife-beaters". And that was their mouths shut.

As for the "he's just using you for the green card", yeah I heard that from EVERYONE. And I said, if he is, so friggin what? If that's his goal, at least he's being honest about it (which is more than I can say for most of the Americans Ive dated). Who cares if he wants a green card? He wants a wife and children and a happy home to go with it. Truthfully, I doubt my husband's in it just for the card, otherwise he would have bailed a loooong time ago after all the s#!t immgration has put us through. But really, whats the major difference between marrying an azzhole from your own country and marrying one from another country? Amount of money spent? I doubt it. I dated some really awful guys who put me out for way more money than my husband and I have invested in immigration.

I also got the "He's going to make you convert to his religion" garbage from alot of people. Its hard to make people see past this short-sighted garbage they get from TV. The only solution Ive found is time and patience. My husband has completey changed alot of people's ideas about Muslims in general just from meeting them face-to-face. Its just a matter of showing the non-believers that you're smarter, stronger, and in it for the long-haul.

If you're uncomfortable sharing the dynamics of your relationship with a foreigner, then that's your choice. I can identify with the desire to be left the hell alone about my personal choice of husband, especially from people who have no experience on the subject. But dont be ashamed of your choice. Going through immigration is a long, hard, frustrating process. Make sure you're doing it with someone YOU feel is worth it.

Edited January 20, 2008 by yassmine2878

[panamania79 2]

Have u ever hid your relationship w/ a foreigner to avoid criticism? Some people would rather keep their relationship w/ a foreigner to themselves so that they don't have to hear unwanted comments such as:

Long distance relationships don't last.

Why couldn't u just find love in your own country?

Are u sure they're not only after you for a green card?

I have heard all of these things from "friends",family,and co-workers.All of these miserable people who are not content with their own lives and love to make these comments should be ignored.I have never hid my relationship,if people don't like it,that's just too bad.

[Jesse and Hema 2]

But really, whats the major difference between marrying an azzhole from your own country and marrying one from another country?

American girls can't make roti....

[panamania79 2]

Are you insecure with foreigners who taking all girls out of your country? you have no rights to rule my life..even my father cannot tell me whom I want to be with...

One of my co-workers just came out and told me one day "I'm so sick and tired of all these foreigners taking all the Amercian women." I told him,"As if all the Amercian women were yours or something." Later,I reported him for harrasment because every day he had a negative comment about my fiance.

[panamania79 2]

But really, whats the major difference between marrying an azzhole from your own country and marrying one from another country?

American girls can't make roti....

What's roti ?

[Jesse and Hema 2]

But really, whats the major difference between marrying an azzhole from your own country and marrying one from another country?

American girls can't make roti....

What's roti ?

It's an Indian thing. This flatbread-type stuff that can be eaten with all kinds of goodies:

(image from here)