~Off Topic Thread~

[Jeraly 4]

Haha - I find the visual one easier to see Nothing near us recently though...

[Jeraly 4]

Yay! We're going to Santa Ana today to look for a car - there is a dealer there that has a few under $2000 so we are going to use some of our savings that finally got to our account today!! Yippee!!!! Goodbye $100 a week in gas!!!

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Wow, the OT thread was in danger of falling off the first page so....BUMP!

My stuff finally arrived on Thursday night. Unfortunately, it was missing the headboard and footboard to our bed so we are still sleeping on the floor, albeit on a real mattress instead of an air one. I called the movers -- the manager said yeah, he thought it was weird we would only have the rails and slats to a bed frame without the other parts, which means that those parts just never got to the warehouse. Feckers. Now I have to claim on the insurance. They also broke my fax machine and damaged 2 of Bruce's toolboxes.

Yay! We're going to Santa Ana today to look for a car - there is a dealer there that has a few under $2000 so we are going to use some of our savings that finally got to our account today!! Yippee!!!! Goodbye $100 a week in gas!!!

Have you thought about craigslist as well?

[Jeraly 4]

Yeah - do they have actual dealers on there as well? I am really dubious about buying privately what with the lack of MOT certificates and things here As it happened we didn't even make it because Jeremy couldn't find the registration certificate for his van to trade it in Owel...

Been poorly as well which sucks - better today than yesterday though but another day of boring bed rest... at least we found our copy of Final Fantasy XII so looks like I will at least play on the playstation

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

We've bought privately over here twice -- one was a bit of a #######, but then again we did buy it out of state only to find it didn't meet CT regs. The other was Bruce's much-loved Truckasaurus, a 1987 Jeep Comanche, which cost the princely sum of $900. It ran like a top.

If you do buy privately, make sure you run a Carfax report on the VIN number. Hell, you should do this too if you are buying from a dealer. It will show you if the car has ever been declared for salvage, or major problems. You should also bear in mind California smog regulations. A seller should provide you with evidence of a valid smog certification done in the past 90 days (if the car is pre-1975). If the seller says it should pass a smog check without providing evidence, unless you're confident it will, or you're willing to pay for the smog check before the sale, I would walk away unless you feel like taking on the expense of bringing it up to standard.

Bruce, as I'm sure you know, is a gearhead and thought the MOT was a huge rip-off that put a lot of money in the Treasury's coffers without really doing enough for safety. It can give buyers a false sense of security. If either Jeremy or you know anything about cars, you'll know a dog when you see one. California is also probably the most stringent state when it comes to vehicle inspection. And remember, $2000 at a dealer doesn't go as far as in a private sale -- you are paying for the overhead, etc. Sure, they will register the car for you which is a real time-saver. But for $2000 you are likely to be buying a car "as-is", without warranty, which puts you in the same position as buying from a private seller.

If you do see something you like, feel free to PM me a pic of it and I'll show it to Bruce. If you have any other info on it, pass it on as well. He has a sixth sense when it comes to spotting a stinker (the Camaro experience nothwithstanding... ).

Also, can Jeremy get a duplicate title to the van?

Edited August 2, 2008 by elmcitymaven

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Wow, just checked out the PS craigslist. Slim pickings, unfortunately. Try checking some of the other areas near you, like Inland Empire. I know that Geo Prisms are hopelessly uncool, but the mpg is great. Check this one out: http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/car/780113790.html

[Jeraly 4]

Cool - well it's something at least! We're not going to be able to get anything this side of our trip now until Jeremy can get a new certificate but will defo have to look into Craigslist when we get back - 12 mpg is so not helping our finances

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

Hope it works out Aly - you can definately do alot better than 12mpg!!

Hi Julez - hope you're not too sad to be back stateside. thanks for my welcome.

Maven those meanies with your bed!! What a pain. Someone must have taken a shine to your bed and decided to take it for themselves.

How's everyone else?

Well, I can't believe that we'll be in LA in only a few days. I got the car rental booked, and a very tiny hotel room booked for a week. I been driving for the last few days. I'm doing pretty well - I was out on the freeway today, and I got my test on Monday.

I had my first wobble yesterday. The driving lesson didn't go as well as I wanted, and I asked C if he would go out with me for more practice. That was a mistake. He was just pi$$ing me off, I don't know why, it was irrational. I stayed calm till we got home, but then I cried for an hour. It was only after about 45mins that I realised I was just missing home, and sick of not knowing how everything worked, getting a massive reaction to mosquitos, feeling exhausted after being outside for more than 10mins (it's HOT here). It all got on top of me. I was fine for a few hours, and then had another cry before bed. I'm ok today, but I think it's all starting to sink in. And I'm not even at my final destination yet.

[The Red Baron 0]

How's everyone else?

I had my first wobble yesterday. The driving lesson didn't go as well as I wanted, and I asked C if he would go out with me for more practice. That was a mistake. He was just pi$$ing me off, I don't know why, it was irrational. I stayed calm till we got home, but then I cried for an hour. It was only after about 45mins that I realised I was just missing home, and sick of not knowing how everything worked, getting a massive reaction to mosquitos, feeling exhausted after being outside for more than 10mins (it's HOT here). It all got on top of me. I was fine for a few hours, and then had another cry before bed. I'm ok today, but I think it's all starting to sink in. And I'm not even at my final destination yet.

We are good getting ready for the Interview not that we will move til the end of Nov beginning of Dec. Your wobble got me to thinking and then the missus is like yeah im the one gonna be doing all the driving showing you how stuff works......needless to say a moment of sheer panic followed

[Gemmie 142]

I had my first wobble yesterday. The driving lesson didn't go as well as I wanted, and I asked C if he would go out with me for more practice. That was a mistake. He was just pi$$ing me off, I don't know why, it was irrational. I stayed calm till we got home, but then I cried for an hour. It was only after about 45mins that I realised I was just missing home, and sick of not knowing how everything worked, getting a massive reaction to mosquitos, feeling exhausted after being outside for more than 10mins (it's HOT here). It all got on top of me. I was fine for a few hours, and then had another cry before bed. I'm ok today, but I think it's all starting to sink in. And I'm not even at my final destination yet.

Honestly, that's completely normal! Try and find a comfort in that... sometimes when I visit for a long period (at least to me), I experience it then, so I know I'm going to have the same reaction when I move there, it's natural.

I'm used to being able to just go out at night without the bugs and humidity, and would like to keep doing this, even if it's just a walk, but Bill doesn't like to go out (he's the American and should be used to this, but the mosquitos always attack him to the point where he wants to go back inside)... I also feel tired ALL the time during the day, like I just want to go inside and sleep, away from the heat. I don't understand the money (since in the UK, a quick glance of the size and colour tells you everything; and the quarter looking like 10p, etc.) so get nervous when I think of working... I'll think of something funny that I want to tell my best friend and then miss all my friends...

The things we do.

Anyways, this morning I was dreaming about getting my period and having stomach cramps... and then I woke up to find that it wasn't a dream. I have work today, as well.

My period seems to be every 5 weeks now, and usually quite painful. Does anyone else have this?

[Jeraly 4]

Well, I can't believe that we'll be in LA in only a few days. I got the car rental booked, and a very tiny hotel room booked for a week. I been driving for the last few days. I'm doing pretty well - I was out on the freeway today, and I got my test on Monday.

I had my first wobble yesterday. The driving lesson didn't go as well as I wanted, and I asked C if he would go out with me for more practice. That was a mistake. He was just pi$$ing me off, I don't know why, it was irrational. I stayed calm till we got home, but then I cried for an hour. It was only after about 45mins that I realised I was just missing home, and sick of not knowing how everything worked, getting a massive reaction to mosquitos, feeling exhausted after being outside for more than 10mins (it's HOT here). It all got on top of me. I was fine for a few hours, and then had another cry before bed. I'm ok today, but I think it's all starting to sink in. And I'm not even at my final destination yet.

Aww Pointy *hugs*

If it means anything I think you are doing brilliantly - I mean you have been here how long? ANd you have your driving test booked already? After never driving before?! You are so brave - I haven't even got in the driver's seat here yet cause I am such a wuss

I can totally relate to the heat too - it's like 100-110 every day here and right now because I am poorly I can't catch my breath if I am anywhere warm... not too great in the desert I've been bedroom-ridden for the past three days and it is driving me nuts. To top it off, we got a bill for $157 yesterday for a service we never even received and I just flipped. I am sick of not knowing how to handle things here - at home I would have been straight on the phone (as we have 24 helplines there) to sort things out, but here it doesn't work like that. Jeremy informed me yesterday that the $300 taken from us by Bank of America will never get back to us - it just won't. So that pi$$ed me off too - why should companies just be allowed to take money from people? It seems totally unethical yet here it is apparently normal? I just don't get it.

You're not alone Pointy - I feel like I have forgotten how to be happy because EVERYTHING has gone wrong since I got here. I said to Jeremy last night that the highlights, the happy times we have had so far, have merely been when something didn't f*&% up. Not much to make you feel particularly great

Gimme a shout if you need to chat or something If nothing else, at least you will be able to look for work right away We'll get there eventually - it's just a big step

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I remember the whole acclimating business last year -- it was horrible. (If anyone doubts me, go look up my posts from Sept-Dec 2007. ) EVERYTHING went wrong, day after day after day. We were totally clueless about how we needed to do the most simple things, we were fighting a pitched battle with the DMV, we couldn't figure out how to get Bruce's eyes examined that didn't cost about 8 gazillion dollars, he couldn't find a job, etc etc etc. And we were having the sort of rows that make you think, "Why in hell did I ever marry this lunatic?" I can say it now because we're a year out from it, but I was having doubts we'd even make it as a couple. The transition was very rough.

But we made it through, and learned a lot about how we function as a family. It made us a lot stronger as a team and as individuals. I don't think we could have made it out here to California without our "training wheels" experience in Connecticut. Yes, things have been going slightly tits up out here on occasion, but we're not so clueless this time around. And we have learned to laugh it off a bit more -- after the panic has subsided.

It does take a while, and you do feel painfully alone -- if all of those morons out there can figure out how to pay a phone bill or get a license, why can't I? But you are not alone -- those of us on VJ are either going through it, about to go through or have come out the other side.

We're here for you, Aly and Poiteen. I'm listening.

[Jeraly 4]

I'm so glad it's not just me - I mean I have a list on my blog of all the things that have gone wrong and it is heartwrenching to feel like the only happy times I have had since being here are when something hasn't gone wrong... I mean life shouldn't be like that, right?!

I don't understand how a bank can charge you $300 for no reason yet you don't have a leg to stand on in getting it back (any tips here would be really appreciated - we have a letter that is going to be taken to the media if nothing else). I don't understand how a company can charge you $157 for a service you never received and aren't open for you to call when you're not working (it's in Jeremy's name so I can't call and I wouldn't know what I was talking about anyway). The highlight of my time here so far has been that when our savings had been transferred to the wrong account number, they ended up getting there anyway...

I just wish I could take more control of things so I didn't have to rely on Jeremy all the time - it's like being a child

[English Muffin 59]

As everyone else seems to be having a difficult time of things lately I thought that I may as well add my own tale of woe.

It appears that my marriage is over already.

Scott has had a lot of problems adjusting to living with someone from the minute I got here and it has now got so bad that he can no longer do it. This is the third time he has decided to leave me since May – we managed to ‘talk things through’ on the other two occasions. I won’t go into too much detail but in my opinion he seems to be suffering from some kind of depression that he refuses to seek help for and I had no idea about it until I moved here.

I have now accepted his decision with grace and have chosen to move on with my life.

After much thought and deliberation about whether or not to move back to the UK I have decided to give the US a bit more of a chance first. I have my Green Card now and as long as I can prove to USCIS that I entered the marriage in good faith I should be able to remove the conditions on it after the divorce.

I do however hate living in Massachusetts so have decided to move. Based on internet research and Scott’s personal experience I have made the decision to move to Charlotte, NC.

Anyway, that’s about it really. I’m planning to spend a week in Charlotte from 24th August to find myself somewhere to live and I’ll move down permanently 3-4 weeks after that. I’ll be moving there totally alone and won’t know a soul, which is a little daunting. I’m currently reading “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, which is helping.

I won’t be leaving Visa Journey though, I shall be here forever I imagine.

p.s. Anyone reading this from Charlotte.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Oh Gillian, I'm so sorry to hear that. Speaking as someone who has battled with depression for 20 years, and lives with someone who is fighting it too, it is one of the cruellest diseases. You sound so strong, and I really hope you have a wonderful life down there in Charlotte. It sounds like a brilliant plan to me. Keep coming back here to VJ, please! You still have conditions to lift, naturalisation...

Thinking of you.