~July 2007 K-1 Filers~

[rae_and_scott 1]

Anyway - does anyone think I am being too harsh

Ha, I think you were a bit harsh, but who cares. There are plenty of stupid questions to go around, so it's really all right.

So Scott and I have gotten in a fight. We really don't fight much, ever, so I feel like its worse when we actually do. He was supposed to go look for a job... I thought he would yesterday, but he said he wasn't feeling well. So he was going to go today, but then at the end of my workday (and btw, aside from today I have been working 12-hour days, so that doesn't help matters) I find out he's been at home all day. Now, I realize the EAD was only just approved 3 days ago. But I am one of those people that is ready to go, so that once things can happen, I make them happen. Scott is a procrastinator (as was evidenced by the fact that it took him forever to send back our P3 during the winter). I love the man, but damn is this frustrating. I guess it wouldn't matter if I had tons and tons and tons of cash lying around, but I'm sure the majority of you understand what a financial undertaking it is to go through an international move and pay for AOS and all that. To make matters worse, I haven't really worked all summer long until this week (I wanted to but no jobs were coming my way), and I freelance, which means when I don't work, I don't make any money. So thousands of dollars are pouring out when nothing was coming in, I've now got about $6k on my credit card and AGH. Sorry I just need to vent. I know couples fight, but he went to take a walk and I am left here feeling like poo.

Stupid stupid money problems. I should realize they don't matter. I do realize that. It doesn't take the stress away though, and doesn't take back the stupid fight.

[Jeraly 4]

First of all look at the thread I linked to and make fun of the person (in the nicest possible way of course ) - that will make you feel a little better at least

As for the fight - I can relate - Jeremy is much the same. He has been working 12 hour days as well, his job is fine apart from the people he works with - I think I mouthed off already about his fellow manager who basically passes the buck to Jeremy, lets him work all the cr@ppy shifts and deal with all the awkward nasty situations. Anyway - he has been meant to be looking for a new job. He looked once when he was all fired up about things and that was it. Just like the Bank of America (and the $300 they took from us) - he got all fired up, we wrote a three page letter together then nothing was done about it.

I know how you feel it makes me want to shake him because in his situation I wouldn't rest until it was dealt with because it would frustrate me until then.

But from the other side, try to give the guy a bit of a break. It *has* only been three days like you said and I know that I will find it intimidating getting a new job in a new country - maybe he feels the same? Have you asked him? Maybe you can sit down and talk and set a target to apply for X number of jobs a day or week so he doesn't feel like he is never doing enough and you feel like he is at least doing *something*. Perhaps show him your credit card bill and say that because of that, belts will have to be tightened until he can get a job. Cut back on things you don't need (particularly if they are things he enjoys - I know that sounds horrible) and then maybe he will realise the amount of money and support you are putting his way.

Also give him a little time to get his head around working - I know I don't like dealing with change and a situation where I literally am not allowed to work, to overnight being able to is daunting - I know I will prolly need some time just to mentally set myself straight and get my head around the fact that I am able to work now. That might just be me though because I am weird... I hadn't thought of it until now but yeah - I am pretty certain I will freak out

I hope this helps a bit - I just kinda rambled

[rae_and_scott 1]

It does help, thanks Aly. It's always good to get another person's perspective.

You are right; I'm sure he's intimidated about finding a job (especially b/c in Canada he worked retail and feels like somewhat of a failure for not having a "real" career). But yesterday I tried to be really reassuring, b/c the truth is, he does have tons of experience (5 years), even if it is retail, in something he really enjoys, and I'm sure he'll be able to find a similar job here, no sweat. He just has to GO OUT AND DO IT. And I guess that's what frustrates me -- Scott doesn't have 12 hour shifts to keep him busy -- he's home all day long. He's sleeping in while I'm up early getting ready for a long day.

But, I do need to chill out. It's not like this has gone on for weeks. It's been a couple of days. I know I am more high strung with getting things done ASAP and it's not like I don't know that Scott is not this way. This is something we'll be dealing with the rest of our lives, I'm sure! I mean, not the job issue, but the basic personality difference of go-getter vs. procrastinator. The problem is, I never know when I should hold it in (generally unhealthy) or say something. I guess I just need to figure out the right way to say what's on my mind without upsetting him.

...

Okay he just came home and I think we've kissed and made up.

Fights suck!!

Thanks for listening Aly.

[Jeraly 4]

Haha - yeah I know what you mean - I have a teaching degree and decided not to go into teaching in the UK so that made me feel bad. Now I am here with my new fresh start and new life and I feel like I should have some 100k a year super job that is fulfilling and something I love - especially as my brother has just got a $22k a year promotion I was always the high flyer of the family and I kinda feel like I lost my "position" to him...

Ahh - sibling rivalry at its best I'm just expecting a *really* great Christmas pressie from him

[tucson_chick 0]

Haha - yeah I know what you mean - I have a teaching degree and decided not to go into teaching in the UK so that made me feel bad. Now I am here with my new fresh start and new life and I feel like I should have some 100k a year super job that is fulfilling and something I love - especially as my brother has just got a $22k a year promotion I was always the high flyer of the family and I kinda feel like I lost my "position" to him...

Ahh - sibling rivalry at its best I'm just expecting a *really* great Christmas pressie from him

hi guys!

our visitors are here. first thing they did was giving #### about how small our bathtub was.

now they are still asleep which gives us time to veg, watch telly and write emails.

the one girl threw up twice after dinner and already once before breakfast. she is so skinny that she will most likely not be able to keep up with our sightseeing plans.

about the jobsearch:

i started looking for jobs (like 8h a day while eric was at work) exactly 2 weeks after i came here and eric was really impatient with me and told me all the stupid time how easy is was to find a job and stuff, i could have killed him.

i was trying so hard and he just made me feel like #######. i was still struggleing with arriving and it hurt my pride that it took me longer to find a job than anticipated. and erics impatience didn't help a whole lot.

*sigh*

i guess i will take the visitors to a mountain or shopping mall and leave them for death.

[Jeraly 4]

OMG - ungrateful b*tches!! I can't believe that... your bath is a darn sight bigger than most hotel ones (unless you get an expensive suite, which, let's face it, they probably would) and even bigger than the one I have which consists of either a (granted, rather large) sink or sitting on the drain in the shower and waiting for it to fill an inch or two... which is kinda gross

You should defo take them to the mountains and leave them there... either that or make your own map with a path into the mountains and a note with an arrow saying "Gucci this way" off the edge of a cliff

[Jeraly 4]

I am currently cleaning and I hate it. I've been feeling really exhausted recently - I think it is just homesickness but I just can't relax, have been drinking too much, have been on my period (sorry for too much info) for three weeks running and all I want to do is curl up until I feel better again. I'm not poorly as such - just fed up with the long hours Jeremy is working and being stuck in all the time. I've been looking for more volunteer things but it all looks too far away for me to cycle right now - at least until I get fitter...

But at least the bedroom is polished and dusted, the whole house has been swept and mopped. Two loadsof laundry have been done and now I just need to take a break before cleaning the kitchen and bathroom - save the best for last (!)

[tucson_chick 0]

I am currently cleaning and I hate it. I've been feeling really exhausted recently - I think it is just homesickness but I just can't relax, have been drinking too much, have been on my period (sorry for too much info) for three weeks running and all I want to do is curl up until I feel better again. I'm not poorly as such - just fed up with the long hours Jeremy is working and being stuck in all the time. I've been looking for more volunteer things but it all looks too far away for me to cycle right now - at least until I get fitter...

But at least the bedroom is polished and dusted, the whole house has been swept and mopped. Two loadsof laundry have been done and now I just need to take a break before cleaning the kitchen and bathroom - save the best for last (!)

ahh, aly so sorry that you're feeling so bad!

i wish there was an easy recipe to feeling better!

but unfortunetely there isn't. i had weeks when i was on the verge of tears 24/7 and the only thing that i wanted to do was sleep.

did you find any meet-ups or anything alike in PS?

Wish I had a magic wand to take away all the difficulty involved with moving and stuff!!

[rae_and_scott 1]

hi guys!

our visitors are here. first thing they did was giving #### about how small our bathtub was.

now they are still asleep which gives us time to veg, watch telly and write emails.

the one girl threw up twice after dinner and already once before breakfast. she is so skinny that she will most likely not be able to keep up with our sightseeing plans.

about the jobsearch:

i started looking for jobs (like 8h a day while eric was at work) exactly 2 weeks after i came here and eric was really impatient with me and told me all the stupid time how easy is was to find a job and stuff, i could have killed him.

i was trying so hard and he just made me feel like #######. i was still struggleing with arriving and it hurt my pride that it took me longer to find a job than anticipated. and erics impatience didn't help a whole lot.

*sigh*

i guess i will take the visitors to a mountain or shopping mall and leave them for death.

I'm sorry your ungrateful visitors are there Agnes.

As for the job searching, I totally hear what you're saying. But you were trying hard to find a job, and that is the difference -- I will have a lot more patience with Scott not working if he's actively looking for a job. If he sits at home, though, well... not so cool. Y'know?

Aly, want to come and clean my apartment too? I think you deserve a break actually!

[Jeraly 4]

Haha - well I only really clean properly once a week - things like the kitchen etc get cleaned as I go, although Jeremy isn't *quite* so vigilant (I wouldn't mind if so much if not for the roaches... ah who am I kidding - it drives me nuts!) and I just try to pick up after myself and leave things tidy. Thing is it is so dusty here that it gets really gross but there is no way on earth I am going to bust my @ss cleaning thoroughly every day because it never lasts!!! Before the party I cleaned and showed Jeremy just how filthy it gets and he was so surprised

But yeah - the day before Jeremy gets his days off, I sweep (including under the bed/dresser etc) then mop the entire apartment (it's not that big ), clean the kitchen really thoroughly (the stove always ends up filthy because Jeremy never cleans it after using it so it is left for me to do - I have never known anyone make all four rings dirty when using only one ) get all the dishes cleaned, then I clean the shower, bathroom mirror, sink, toilet etc...

I'm kinda done now - the oven needs cleaning because some gunk is burnt on the bottom but I can't find an oven cleaner in the store and the dishwasher needs emptying and the unit above it sorting out. But that is it. And I can't be bothered to do any more now anyway - I am all showered and clean and need to chill out as I have a headache.

By the way - can I just say that mojito mix goes really well with 7up?! Totally non-alcoholic and refreshing

Am out tonight - really don't feel like it but it will be good to me - I know if I stay in then I will just feel crappy anyway

[rae_and_scott 1]

Your cleaning routine sounds a lot like mine! I also clean once a week. It's not dusty here but there is a lot of dirt that comes in in the warm months when the windows are open. The apartment really needs to be mopped like every other day but I don't have the time or the energy to bother. Today is cleaning day, sigh. At least Scott helps me. The first time we lived together he never did and I was the one working full time and he worked part time so that really pissed me off! Though it would be nice if my unemployed house-husband did the cleaning for me while I was away at work.

Anyhoo, so we had a bit of a surprise yesterday when Scott's AP arrived in the mail! Everything else has been properly updated online so I was expecting an email and online update before it came. It's still showing as pending. But whatever, I don't really care. I'm *really* happy and relieved that these 2 things were approved and came earlier than I expected. I didn't want to have to stress about our friends' wedding on October 3rd and now I don't have to, we are good to go.

[Jeraly 4]

That's great news Rae!! I'm still waiting for the RFEs

I should really mop/sweep more too but tbh I can't be bothered when I know it is going to be a mess less than 24 hours of Jeremy being in the house - plus we have the cat and her fur and dust she brings in - cleaning would be a full time job otherwise and we only have four rooms!! I must say, I do do all the cleaning while Jeremy is at work though so it is all clean in time for his days off so we can enjoy them He has three days off including today so might not be around much

And thanks Agnes for calling to cheer me up yesterday I hope the Gucci Girls aren't giving you too much grief

[tucson_chick 0]

That's great news Rae!! I'm still waiting for the RFEs

I should really mop/sweep more too but tbh I can't be bothered when I know it is going to be a mess less than 24 hours of Jeremy being in the house - plus we have the cat and her fur and dust she brings in - cleaning would be a full time job otherwise and we only have four rooms!! I must say, I do do all the cleaning while Jeremy is at work though so it is all clean in time for his days off so we can enjoy them He has three days off including today so might not be around much

And thanks Agnes for calling to cheer me up yesterday I hope the Gucci Girls aren't giving you too much grief

just dropping in real quick to wish everybody a great start in the new week!

[weedebz 0]

with regards to cleaning. I grew up with a mother who has OCD and is paranoid about germs. I had a very clean house and my room was always clean. Because of my mothers OCD I HATE mess. I pick up after Nick constantly who lets face it, is a typical bloke. He see's nothing wrong with just launching clothes at the laundry basket and no caring if dirty socks or shorts miss and land on the floor, I hate it. He doesn't mind leaving a plate for a few hours where as I need to clean it straight away. I have a quick clean every morning and a big clean every saturday. I feel revolting today as we had our shower resealed yesterday afternoon and can't use it until this afternoon so my shower this morning was a wash cloth and a sink of warm water.

Anyways, Biometrics tomorrow. Going to chance taking my joint sponsor's W2's I know I'll get RFE'd for and see if they will take them there.

[Jeraly 4]

OOoh - good luck with biometrics Debz and have fun at World Market in Omaha I hope you manage to buy lots of hobnobs

You're also very lucky - at least Nick launches his dirty clothes in the vague area of the laundry basket - Jeremy accumulates a knee-deep pile by his bed and I never know what is clean and what is dirty so it all ends up getting washed which costs us more money and kills the environment - way to go