~July 2007 K-1 Filers~

[weedebz 0]

Muffin I'm so sorry, you are definatly appearing to handle it with more grace and dignity than I probably could. Glad you will not be leaving us here. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

[English Muffin 59]

oh Muffin

I'm so sorry

you will be FINE though... you will get through this and make a great life for yourself

it augers well that you're dealing with everything with such grace...

and I'm glad you're not going to leave VJ

*big hug*

Thanks StP. You're right, I WILL be fine.

Scott and I are still good friends, we're just accepting that this wasn't meant to be. I'm now looking forward to the next chapter in my life in a new state. I've booked a trip to Charlotte from 24-30 Aug and I'm already getting excited about looking for a new home for myself.

Thanks again.

Thanks to you too Debz.

Edited August 3, 2008 by English Muffin

[tucson_chick 0]

Muffin, i am so sorry! you are such a brave lady to just move to a completely foreign state!

i keep you in my prayers!

@ aly: here's the link https://egov.uscis.gov/crisgwi/go?action=of...office_type=CIV

you HAVE to use their civil surgeons. *shrugs* just another loop we have to jump through.

btw: i just read your blog, i can TOTALLY relate: it's monsoon season and we have a leak in the roof, the AC dies at least every second day and our landlord is too broke and stupid to have it fixed properly. oh, and i just saw the credit card bill and nearly passed out.

i hope everybody has a nice sunday evening!

[*julez* 124]

Gillian, I am so sorry to hear that things have not turned out well for your marriage. *big hugs* I admire you so much, though, for giving it a good go, and even more for spreading your wings here in the US and trying something so new and adventurous! I wish you all the best on your move to Charlotte, and should I ever find myself in that area, I'll be sure to pop in and say hi! I'll bring good wine, too!!

I am soooooo happy to hear you won't leave VJ! We all love you and want to help you through this as much as we can via message board, and seriously, if you ever want to talk to someone, I have unlimited long distance and would be happy to lend an ear. As someone whose ex-husband is mentally ill (depression & personality disorder) and who is still in denial about it, I can very much relate to what you're going through.

[English Muffin 59]

Gillian, I am so sorry to hear that things have not turned out well for your marriage. *big hugs* I admire you so much, though, for giving it a good go, and even more for spreading your wings here in the US and trying something so new and adventurous! I wish you all the best on your move to Charlotte, and should I ever find myself in that area, I'll be sure to pop in and say hi! I'll bring good wine, too!!

I am soooooo happy to hear you won't leave VJ! We all love you and want to help you through this as much as we can via message board, and seriously, if you ever want to talk to someone, I have unlimited long distance and would be happy to lend an ear. As someone whose ex-husband is mentally ill (depression & personality disorder) and who is still in denial about it, I can very much relate to what you're going through.

Thanks very much Julez.

I might just take you up on that offer of having someone to talk to - I also have unlimited long distance.

Although he hasn't been diagnosed with anything (because he refuses to admit that there's anything wrong) I believe that Scott is suffering from depression and some kind of personality disorder too. In hindsight I can see that there were warning signs before I came here but I naively thought that 'everything will be ok once we're together, that's all that matters'.

Thankfully there hasn't been any animosity between us and we are still good friends. I have times when I want to get really angry with him but I'm managing to keep my temper - so far.

I'm now trying to look forward to my trip to Charlotte and plan the next chapter in my life.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words.

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

(F) So sorry to hear that things turned out like this I am glad you are able to move on and that you are so brave and decided to try for a brand new life in a new state

Another thing...how fast do you wanna go through with the divorce and are you still thinking about some councelling or not? You see, I don´t wanna sound pesimistic (and also I don´t have any experience with that so it´s just a thought), but you basically just got your GC and won´t it raise some flags if you file for a divorce right after? I don´t want you to have some troubles in case you decide to stay and wanna remove the conditions on your own Hugs

[English Muffin 59]

Another thing...how fast do you wanna go through with the divorce and are you still thinking about some councelling or not? You see, I don´t wanna sound pesimistic (and also I don´t have any experience with that so it´s just a thought), but you basically just got your GC and won´t it raise some flags if you file for a divorce right after? I don´t want you to have some troubles in case you decide to stay and wanna remove the conditions on your own Hugs

Thanks for the kind words Marta.

You are right that separating so soon after receiving my Green Card will raise some red flags. Scott will not consider counselling of any kind - I think he is worried that he might have to face up to the fact that he has issues he needs to deal with.

We'll probably start divorce proceeding towards the end of the year and once it's over I'm going to get an immigration attorney to help me with removing conditions due to the red flags. Scott is happy to write an affadavit attesting to the fact the he is the one who wants to end the marriage and not me, which I think will help to prove that I entered it in good faith. Our lives and finances have been completely co-mingled since I got here so I'll hopefully have no problem proving that we had a legitimate marriage either - albeit for a very short time.

And don't worry about sounding pessimistic I had already considered the problems with removing conditions and shall make sure that I'm prepared when the time comes.

Thanks again Marta.

[bakofoil 27]

Gillian,

I am so sorry that things didn't turn out the way you planned. I am sure, given your common sense and strength of character, that you will make the best this and I hope that the two of you can remain good friends.

I've heard many good things about Charlotte and North Carolina generally. I hope your trip is successful. Best of luck!

[English Muffin 59]

Gillian,

I am so sorry that things didn't turn out the way you planned. I am sure, given your common sense and strength of character, that you will make the best this and I hope that the two of you can remain good friends.

I've heard many good things about Charlotte and North Carolina generally. I hope your trip is successful. Best of luck!

Thanks Babblesgirl.

I won't be leaving VJ so I'll keep everyone updated on my adventures in NC.

[*julez* 124]

Hey Gillian,

This group might be helpful in establishing some friendships and networking in Charlotte:

http://brit.meetup.com/298/

Their expat group seems to be fairly active.

[English Muffin 59]

Hey Gillian,

This group might be helpful in establishing some friendships and networking in Charlotte:

http://brit.meetup.com/298/

Their expat group seems to be fairly active.

Oooooh, thanks for that.

[rae_and_scott 1]

Hey Gillian,

I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out but you do sounds really strong and I think it's really amazing, and brave as others have said, that you're going to stay in the States and try a new life in a new city. I wish you the best in whatever lies in your future.

[English Muffin 59]

Hey Gillian,

I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out but you do sounds really strong and I think it's really amazing, and brave as others have said, that you're going to stay in the States and try a new life in a new city. I wish you the best in whatever lies in your future.

Thanks Rae.

I think I probably sound a lot stronger than I really am though! I'm having good days and bad days right now and I seem to be up and down and all over the place. I'm coming to terms with the fact that my marriage is over but I'm getting overwhelmed sometimes with feelings of loneliness.

But then a few minutes later I'll feel really strong and as though I can take on the world.

I'm sure these feelings are all just part of the grieving process that I'll have to go through. I'm so glad that I have friends here on VJ because I haven't really made any where I live since I got here and the loneliness does make things harder.

Thanks again everyone.

[*julez* 124]

hugs, hugs and more hugs....I wish I lived nearer to you, cos I'd be on a road trip to see you! We'd get drunk and have some laughs!

[English Muffin 59]

hugs, hugs and more hugs....I wish I lived nearer to you, cos I'd be on a road trip to see you! We'd get drunk and have some laughs!

Thanks Julez, that makes me feel so much better.

Today has been one of my bad days - hopefully tomorrow I'll be taking on the world again.