~July 2007 K-1 Filers~

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

[Jeraly 4]

I am here too!! Just one week of work to go!! Omg I am sooo nervous - I keep freaking out and I hate it - I can't wait for the saying goodbye part to be over - I think I'll be ok then

[rae_and_scott 1]

Admittedly, that's one of the hardest parts. Scott is totally avoiding it and I'm worried he'll regret it later.

[Jeraly 4]

Avoiding what? Saying goodbye? Or thinking about it!?

I guess I should be used to goodbyes after being with Jeremy for almost three years but somehow this is different because it is not just saying goodbye to friends and family, but life as you know it as well. Not just that but it is for longer and I don't know what to expect... it's very nerve-wracking... Although I think as soon as I get on the train I will have a few tears then perk up a bit and get excited. Then it will hit me again after a day or so being away, or maybe when I call my mum.

That's the horrible thing, I never wanted to feel like I was swapping the goodbyes to Jeremy for goodbyes to my family either - I don't want to go through the emotions I have been while apart from Jeremy all over again but for my family instead

[rae_and_scott 1]

He's been avoiding saying goodbyes to people.

Personally I think saying goodbye to your friends and family is really different from saying goodbye to your partner. I think we feel much more of a pull to see the person we are in love with more often; we feel much more intensely about them. Of course we love our friends and family, and it isn't easy to say goodbye, but I just think it is different.

Whatever way, you will get through it. I think that like you said, you'll be sad to go but then just at that moment have a lot to be excited for as well. Homesickness can hit in bouts, but I think if you can keep somewhat busy and find new things in your new place to look forward to, that will help a lot. And of course, there's always the internet and the phone for when you need to chat with them!

[Jeraly 4]

Yeah but I can kinda understand where Scott is coming from as well - you kind of want to distance yourself from people to try and stop yourself missing them. It's like - if you were to just never see them again you would have closure and be able to move on in life, but having them still back home means that every time you call or e-mail or something... I don't know - maybe it sounds crazy but - it's a mixed bag of emotions right now and I just wish it was all over..

[rae_and_scott 1]

Oh it's definitely a mixed bag, I agree! And I also see where Scott is coming from too, I just hope he doesn't regret it later if he doesn't say goodbye to some people. He loves his job, and they always do goodbye parties for people who are leaving, and he made it clear he didn't want one. I'm sure it's easier for him now for it not to happen, as it would definitely be emotional and difficult to face. But also, as a typical guy, he is "dealing" by bottling up and not showing or dealing with emotion. We've had a rather difficult past week. Until he finally opened up a bit and some of the tension was let out. I feel awful too; I'm so excited for him to come live with me yet I see a tremendous amount of sadness in everything he does, and I feel so guilty.

Maybe I am also particularly sensitive to the goodbye thing b/c when I left NYC for Toronto 4 years ago, one of my closest and best friends did not say goodbye to me. I could recognize that it was just too hard for her, but it still really hurt my feelings.

Anyway, you and me both, wish it was over with and done! But to be cheesy: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Let's just hope for that and good times ahead (mixed in with the bad I'm sure, but good overall).

[Jeraly 4]

Definitely - I have become much stronger as a person through this process - the waiting, as horrible as it has been, has made our relationship so much stronger too - I wouldn't change things for the world. I don't do change. I really don't - I freak on the highest level. So this again, is a test for me that will make me stronger - and it doesn't have to be forever - I just have to be open minded enough to give it a chance

And I love Palm Springs so I can't complain too much - I think if we were moving anywhere else, it wouldn't have sweetened the deal quite so much

[*julez* 124]

Guys - have any of you been following the Gay Right Poll? Its pretty crazy the attiotude that some people have.

Sorry to veer away from all the goodbye and homesick discussion, but I thought this might make a nice diversion from everyone feeling sad, worried and/or anxious!

[rae_and_scott 1]

Aly, you should be okay with change from hear on out! This whole thing is such a test and it involves changing your whole life, so!

No worries Julez, about changing the subject. *except that Aly doesn't deal with change well so you'll have to check with her on that*

I haven't been following it; link?

[Jeraly 4]

Guys - have any of you been following the Gay Right Poll? Its pretty crazy the attiotude that some people have.

Sorry to veer away from all the goodbye and homesick discussion, but I thought this might make a nice diversion from everyone feeling sad, worried and/or anxious!

Haven't seen it but can guess... hate people who are intolerant and narrow minded... Am happy to be moving to a city where 35% of the permanent residents are gay

Aly, you should be okay with change from hear on out! This whole thing is such a test and it involves changing your whole life, so!

No worries Julez, about changing the subject. *except that Aly doesn't deal with change well so you'll have to check with her on that*

Rae - I know - it really has made me stronger because I have been forced to cope with things outside my comfort zone

And.. OMFG - CHANGING THE SUBJECT - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

:girlwerewolf2xn: :cry: :crying: :o

[*julez* 124]

OMG Aly is completely unhinged!!!!

[rae_and_scott 1]

Oh man... okay I cannot even post over in that other thread. For the record, Julez, I completely agree with you and others who pointed out that calling sexuality a choice is just weird. But people who think it is like that one conservative poster... they just make me so angry that I can't even enter into the conversation b/c I'll lose my sh!t and just start name calling!

Oh and also, this is totally unrelated, but Scott saw me on here the other day and commented that he absolutely loves the picture of your avatar. Then I realized he doesn't even know who Sam the Eagle is, but he just finds the picture brilliant!

I think this is a much safer poll to watch:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=133250

[Jeraly 4]

Yes - much safer poll

*gets nervous tic*

[rae_and_scott 1]

:lol: