~July 2007 K-1 Filers~

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Ok. Now I really am $hitting myself and I think I have just cause to this time.

Dunno how many of you are aware of the nightmare that has been Jeremy's work recently - him pulling 60-70 hour weeks, masses of inspections, one of his bosses going completely off the rails. They were looking for any excuse to fire her because she was grossly incompetent.

As a result, Jeremy has been spending more and more time at work, less and less time with me. Apartment hunting has been put on the back burner and this week I have reached breaking point. I just couldn't take anymore.

He finally realised that he had been neglecting me and has started making it up to me. His other boss who had also been putting in loads of hours was understanding and said that he was going to have a couple of days set aside for Jeremy to focus on apartment hunting.

Jeremy just got a call to say that both of his bosses had been fired.

Now I am freaking out - we were expecting one of them to be fired because she really was dreadful, but the other one was working really hard and neither of us can figure out what he could have done to justify being fired. That currently puts Jeremy in the highest ranking position in the store (and as he is only supervisor it's not like he has masses of management experience yet) and we just don't know if he is still going to have a job come June when I move out there. Not only that but he is meant to be coming here in about 5 weeks as well... and I just don't know what is going to happen anymore.

I am so scared. If he loses his job I don't know what we will do - we have tickets bought, I have things packed - almost everything is in place for me to move. But without his job we can't afford a place to live let alone AOS or anything like that. If i could work it wouldn't be so bad... Even if he keeps his job, it might mean he can't come over in June which ruins our whole UK reception... I am terrified right now and I don't know what to do...

Susie - I think the first one looks cosier but the second one looks more upmarket so I guess it just depends on the feel you want to go for

awww sweetie, dont worry your pretty little head...im sure everything will be fine, you are just worried because of the move and all...uncertainty is soooooo nerve racking i know...im dealing with it right now too

im sure he wont get fired, and everything will be just fine...try not to worry too much

and yea, i think i prefer the first one, but i will check them both out...just in case the first one is booked or something, ya never know

[StillThePrettiest 3]

Hey StP, I see you there, how's the insomnia?

hello

loads better thanks; the last three nights I have woken 5.55am, 5.58am, and this morning broke the record with 6.07am!!

we're off to Canberra today, to meet my dad's side of the family (met mum's side on Mothers' Day, which was the day Dave arrived, poor man ), and we've been prancing about seeing people and seeing Sydney and doing packing and all manner of stuff... barely a free moment, but so far it's all going well

will probably be out of contact for a day or two... will always come back to check in though

xx

[teachmehistory 0]

Ok. Now I really am $hitting myself and I think I have just cause to this time.

Dunno how many of you are aware of the nightmare that has been Jeremy's work recently - him pulling 60-70 hour weeks, masses of inspections, one of his bosses going completely off the rails. They were looking for any excuse to fire her because she was grossly incompetent.

As a result, Jeremy has been spending more and more time at work, less and less time with me. Apartment hunting has been put on the back burner and this week I have reached breaking point. I just couldn't take anymore.

He finally realised that he had been neglecting me and has started making it up to me. His other boss who had also been putting in loads of hours was understanding and said that he was going to have a couple of days set aside for Jeremy to focus on apartment hunting.

Jeremy just got a call to say that both of his bosses had been fired.

Now I am freaking out - we were expecting one of them to be fired because she really was dreadful, but the other one was working really hard and neither of us can figure out what he could have done to justify being fired. That currently puts Jeremy in the highest ranking position in the store (and as he is only supervisor it's not like he has masses of management experience yet) and we just don't know if he is still going to have a job come June when I move out there. Not only that but he is meant to be coming here in about 5 weeks as well... and I just don't know what is going to happen anymore.

I am so scared. If he loses his job I don't know what we will do - we have tickets bought, I have things packed - almost everything is in place for me to move. But without his job we can't afford a place to live let alone AOS or anything like that. If i could work it wouldn't be so bad... Even if he keeps his job, it might mean he can't come over in June which ruins our whole UK reception... I am terrified right now and I don't know what to do...

Susie - I think the first one looks cosier but the second one looks more upmarket so I guess it just depends on the feel you want to go for

Hey Aly,

I have been trying to catch up on the thread and saw your last worried post too. I have never asked....why did you guys decide to settle here instead of over there?? is it something you could consider? getting the spouse visa in the UK, while does cost some coin, is a matter of weeks from what I understand. I only ask as you seem to have such a high level of anxiety over moving. don't get me wrong, we all do, its just I wonder if you wouldn't be happier/more settled if Jeremy moved to you?? Maybe its none of my business, but we have followed each other through this whole process and I have often thought to myself that you seemed not quite ready - that being able to put things off for several months was comforting to you and the closer you get to any landmark date, the more anxiety you have. I say again, this is TOTALLY normal and understandable - but also worth addressing, not just sweeping under the rug. Sometimes on this forum we only talk about how great things are and how happy we are to move along in the process without acknowledging that relationships are hard already and then throwing cross continental moves, finances, visas, on top, its a lot to deal with. I only say this out of concern - please don't missunderstand, I know you love Jeremy and that you are meant to be with him, but moving country and culture is bigger than just about anything. I am just wondering if there is another way to work this for you guys that might put you more at ease. you could always move to the states later - together. Personally, if Matthew had needed it, I would have moved to London without a hesitation, and still would if ever he changes his mind. you guys are so young and just starting out really - so couldn't you start out anywhere?? Maybe its experience talking, having my first marriage not work out - I was young and did not have the courage or support to get real about what I needed. anyway, maybe this is too much of a response, and maybe I should keep to myself and just tell you that it will be alright. but I applaud your willingness to admit things are hard sometimes, and say out loud that communicating with your partner can be tough, and this process takes a toll, and because of all of that - I thought you deserved a heartfelt response even if I am way off base.

if you ever need to talk, or toss around fears and possibilites and second thoughts.....just know you won't be judged by me!

Sara

[Jeraly 4]

Hey Sara - no biggie

Our initial plan was for Jeremy to move here - I was going to graduate and teach, and he was just working in a fast food restaurant so it made sense.

At the end of my final year in uni I was so sick of the bureaucracy of teaching and the UK government and everything - I was sick of being here and I wanted out. I didn't really want to go into teaching but felt it was the only thing that I could do to support us both when he moved. Then he got promoted and we had a complete rethink.

I was completely freaked out at first because it had never been on my agenda to move but I knew it was the right thing to do. With the prices of houses being so much over here we could afford a better quality of life over there at first and move back later if we decided to. It took a little while but I got used to the idea and believe it or not, I really really do want to move. I want to move to challenge myself and become more independent, to gain new experiences and to learn how to adapt to these changes as change is something I struggle with.

Ok - that all sounds kind of weird. But I am a firm believer in that if you want to become stronger, then you need to challenge yourself. I know we have all been through challenges enough already but I am looking at it as a big adventure - a scary one as well, sure - but exciting and new and I really can't wait! What I hate is this limbo and transition where you're not really in one place or another and you don't really have any control over what is going on...

The good news is that Jeremy still has his job. The bad news is we don't know if he will be able to make it to our Wedding reception in the UK next month and fly back with me - I might have to do that alone... that is scary - yet another change at the last minute that I have to find some way of adapting to. We dont know why his "good" boss got fired... we don't know much of anything at the moment and that is still disconcerting and frustrating...

But at least he has a job. I just wish I could be there now so we could support each other easier. It is hard to try and do things remotely...

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Susie they both look very nice I think the second one looks a little more kinda festive though which you might like better for the occasion but the choice is up to you And congratulations to picking your wedding date

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Yeah this American stuff is pretty scary, Aly. I have no idea how people can just get fired and loose their job whenever. In Czech, we have laws for this. If your boss wants to fire you, he has to have some reason. Either - the position is no longer needed (in that case you get 2 months of still working there after being fired so you can find a new job and not be unemployed, plus you get 3 additional monthly salaries to that), or - the company is closing down (the same kind of scenario like I said before), or something like that. If the employer wants to fire you cuz you screw up then first you have to screw up, then he has to send you a warning letter, then if you screw up again and get another letter, I believe he can fire you. But it can´t be just something like you didn´t sharpen his pencil well enough, it has to be some serious reason. Or you can loose your job when you actually make an agreement with the boss and then you usually still get to work there for 2 more months. Which is usually enough time for a person to find another decent job. And it´s also nice for the employer cuz he can find someone else instead of you and you can give them training in the specific job you do

I think you shouldn´t worry about Jeremy loosing his job though. Cuz you worrying won´t help him keep the job and if it happens that he looses it in the end, then I believe he is a smart young man and can find another job hopefully pretty fast. If he looses the job, then it´s time to worry about that and solve the problem. So try not to worry about it now too much and stay positive I know it´s hard

That will be pretty sad if Jeremy isn´t able to make it to your UK reception On the other hand, if him not coming will help him keep the job, then I guess that´s what you will have to sacrifice. Like we don´t sacrifice enough already right? You could still do the reception later in life, if it doesn´t work out this time But let´s hope he is gonna get a brand new boss who will be nice and stuff and will let him go to UK

I know you don´t like the limbo but you are getting so close now. Only a month and a bit and you will be able to be with your husband and support him in real, face to face, not just online or on the phone That´s gonna make such a difference to you Hang in there, Aly I know you can do it and you will solve every obstacle that life throws in your direction

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Wooohooo STP getting up later and later each day I know it´s only by minutes but it counts I hope you and Dave are having lotsa fun

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Susie they both look very nice I think the second one looks a little more kinda festive though which you might like better for the occasion but the choice is up to you And congratulations to picking your wedding date

thanks!! we went with a completely different place than those two lol...one of them was too small and the other was wayyyy to expensive, so we went searching around the neighborhood and we found an old school italian restaurant (where we ate last nite btw, and the food was delish!!) with a private party room...its not what i initially wanted, but im liking the idea now...it will be more like a traditional type of wedding than i had planned (with a dj and dancing and all)...its okay though, we will have fun and eat delicious food oh yea, and have an open bar for 4 hours...cant be that bad can it?

[Jeraly 4]

Oh marta thank you

I'm looking at it as we might be able to afford a nicer apartment now It's all still up in the air but at least he has a job which is something - and at some point he will get a fair pay rise... we just don't know all the ins and outs of it yet...

I don't understand all these laws either - I mean, even in the US though - I haven't heard of anyone being on an employment rollercoaster within the same company like Jeremy has and I can only put it down to his working for the tribe rather than an independent company...

[rae_and_scott 1]

Susie: I'm curious what restaurant you picked! I've been looking for one as well and thinking Frankie's 457. (http://www.frankiesspuntino.com/457/index.html) Or maybe I just want to know which one you picked so I can come crash your wedding.

Aly: I think sometimes when things happen we freak out and think about all the worst possible things that could go wrong all at once and it overwhelms us. I think you just need to take a deep breathe and take things one at a time, as they come. Wait until things happen with his job, if they happen at all, to worry about him missing the reception or that sort of thing. You are only going to drive yourself insane with worry with what-ifs. I know, we all know, it is really tough being in limbo, being in this waiting period and not being with our partners, which would help us all so much get through whatever we need to get through. But it is what it is and we deal with it because we have to, and we often come out stronger for it in the end, stronger in our relationships and as individuals. I know that the two of you will be just fine and make it through all this stuff.

[Jeraly 4]

Y eah I know that too but I've never been a patient person... whose dumb idea was it to wait until the end of June to move?

Edited May 15, 2008 by Jeraly

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

Susie: I'm curious what restaurant you picked! I've been looking for one as well and thinking Frankie's 457. (http://www.frankiesspuntino.com/457/index.html) Or maybe I just want to know which one you picked so I can come crash your wedding.

OMG Rae, why are we so hillarious?! That place is literally a block away from our restaurant...It looks REALLY nice there, but it probably a little more expensive than what my mom wants to pay...maybe not though, I don't know how much they charge...might have to stop by there tonight before we put out deposit down

lol our place is also on court st, casa rosa...maybe you know it?

edit: did you notice my punctuation slowly deteriorate as that post went on?

Edited May 15, 2008 by BabyBlueSusie

[rae_and_scott 1]

OMG Rae, why are we so hillarious?! That place is literally a block away from our restaurant...It looks REALLY nice there, but it probably a little more expensive than what my mom wants to pay...maybe not though, I don't know how much they charge...might have to stop by there tonight before we put out deposit down

lol our place is also on court st, casa rosa...maybe you know it?

edit: did you notice my punctuation slowly deteriorate as that post went on?

I do know Casa Rosa! Have you eaten there before?

Frankie's isn't the cheapest, but I really love it there. It's beautiful inside, plus they have a gorgeous back garden / patio. They also have what they call their stable for private parties. I inquired and it starts at $2000. Needless to say, we aren't going with that! (We will only be a small dinner of 10 people.) But they also do a pre-fix group dining menu, which I am considering.

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

wow, now I know all the great Italian places I need to go to if i'm even in NY

Aly - hang in there, not long now till you're there yourself, and you can whizz around and sort everything out!

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

OMG Rae, why are we so hillarious?! That place is literally a block away from our restaurant...It looks REALLY nice there, but it probably a little more expensive than what my mom wants to pay...maybe not though, I don't know how much they charge...might have to stop by there tonight before we put out deposit down

lol our place is also on court st, casa rosa...maybe you know it?

edit: did you notice my punctuation slowly deteriorate as that post went on?

I do know Casa Rosa! Have you eaten there before?

Frankie's isn't the cheapest, but I really love it there. It's beautiful inside, plus they have a gorgeous back garden / patio. They also have what they call their stable for private parties. I inquired and it starts at $2000. Needless to say, we aren't going with that! (We will only be a small dinner of 10 people.) But they also do a pre-fix group dining menu, which I am considering.

yes, we actually ate there last nite...the food was great (this is a very important issue with my family )...did you ever eat there before? they have a nice party room in the back...i would like my gathering ot be only 10 people, but my family is too large for such a thing...im having my immediate family, aunts, uncles, first cousins and grandparents, plus 5 friends, so it should be around 40-45 people or so...Casa Rosa has really good rates, so it worked out well...im actually starting to get excited now!!

and yea, Frankie's looks absolutely beautiful

Edited May 15, 2008 by BabyBlueSusie