Chuck Norris jokes.... these are hilarious

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

[Ban Hammer 13,360]

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

[Nizzy 1]

Who is Chuck Norris?

[natty bumppo 297]

Who is Chuck Norris?

It's found in the meat department at the grocery store

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Think of the "cool guy" at your office. Substitute Chuck Norris with cool guy's name. It's a great way to spend a day, and laugh with the peers

Saludos,

Caro

[one...two...tree 2,762]

You know, Gupt. This is only going to further the suspicion that you are a Huckabee supporter.

[wishbone 0]

Who is Chuck Norris?

Check out his official site:

http://www.chucknorris.com/

I remember how dad cheer for Bruce Lee on the film "Way of the Dragon" where Norris acted as his nemesis, wiki mentioned it was a wide credit for Chuck's stardom.

Ahaha thanks for the jokes.

[Nizzy 1]

I was just kidding with that question. I wanted to see how Gupt bhai would answer it.

[Jamie76 0]

Who is Chuck Norris?

You better hope Chuck Norris doesn't read this...

[Jenn! 918]

[Jasman0717 9]

I saw several of these the other day except they were for Chuck Zito

[Ban Hammer 13,360]

You know, Gupt. This is only going to further the suspicion that you are a Huckabee supporter.

or just maybe........gupt is really chuck norris!

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Who is Chuck Norris?

Check out his official site:

http://www.chucknorris.com/

I remember how dad cheer for Bruce Lee on the film "Way of the Dragon" where Norris acted as his nemesis, wiki mentioned it was a wide credit for Chuck's stardom.

Ahaha thanks for the jokes.

Chuck had no beard in Way of the Dragon, but he made up for it with excessive amounts of body hair.

I hear that if you buy a Total-Gym that Chuck delivers it personally..

[Nizzy 1]

Who is Chuck Norris?

You better hope Chuck Norris doesn't read this...

LOL. You know I was thinking that as I was typing that question.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]