people, what do you do?

[bora bora 1]

Me? I can't imagine my life without my husband

[chuck_n_rose 0]

Just think of how you will be when this over. And how happy the future will be.

[zqt3344 21]

Lots of cold showers.

...When you feel like you're going crazy without your soulmades?

When the pain gets allmost physical?

That's a really tough test...

Is there a secret to keep strong?

[Jeraly 4]

Planning. I plan everything from visits, trips together, wedding, what our house will look like. I also found making a wedding list on Amazon takes a nice bit of time as well

At first we drowned in each others company online - calling all the time, webcam, instant messaging... Over time we've settled into more of a relaxed routine - we hang out together online or on the phone but not so much - there is a feeling between us that while this communication serves a purpose it is so unfulfilling that we are happy living our own lives and looking forward to the time we can spend together for real

[missing.my2angels 0]

You spend as much time "together" as possible. We use skype, email, and the webcam is a lifesaver!!! We plan our wedding even though we have no idea when it will be. When its really rough we cry, scream and curse (well at least i do!) You just have to realize that its not forever and at least we have each other , at least we know we will see each other again. I went through the physical pain last time David left. I went weeks without sleeping, could not eat, felt like I could die. But for me I had to get my a*# in gear as I have a small child. Yet I made it through that and we will see each other Friday for a few weeks or months depending on the POE. Yet we all have to go through this if we want to be together. Just think of it as a test of the strength of yourself and your relationship, you will make it through because the only other choice is to give up and I know for myself I am not giving up the only man that has made me believe in love..

So be strong! think of all the good times you have had and all the many more you will have in your lifetime together!!!!!!!

You have brought tears to my eyes as well baby. I will get to see you tomorrow and like you have said you either deal with the distance and give up or fight for your right to be with the one you love for eternity which is what I do every day. Keeping yourself busy is a good way to deal with being apart ( note to oneself, should really listen to my own advice lol ) and of course chats etc everyday if possible to your loved one. It costs me less to call Cher in the US as it does for my mum to call her sister some 40 miles away in Horley which is just as well as we talk for about 5 hours a day.

My best advice would be to remember why you are going through all this and that tends to push you on when you are having a wobble.

Good luck and stay focussed

Lots of cold showers.

Awww man, I have to clean the tea from the monitor now :lol:

[bora bora 1]

And keep busy...

[mariapoe 0]

I just was about to say - keep yourself busy. Get yourself distructed. I found it was a good remedy. It's hard at first but there is no other way to get through all this mess. I help my sister to keep her home nice and neat, I babysit my cousin's daughters, I started aerobics yesterday (who wouldn't wanna get more fit by the wedding:)??? I've read a lot, too. For all those years I spent in the States studying and working, I didn't read a lot of fiction and now I'm catching up on this. See your friends more often, hang out with your family, go to the movies... I did all these things and time flew. (We've waited for our NO2 for 4 months and we just got it Jan7.)

I also thought of all these months as of the last months I'm spending with my family. No doubts that my parents, my sister, and my friends are excited for me to get married and to finally reunite with the man of dreams but they all will be missing you after you leave. And I'll miss them, too. Sometimes I think that I'm so eager to take off that I forget what I leave behind. I'm sure that there are some cases when there is nothing to regret about or to miss in the past, but most of us do have something that we'll be missing desparately. I know I will even though I'd lived in America for five years before I returned to Ukraine last summer and was really happy there.

I have a question, too. Why didn't you apply for a visa extention or change of status? I did the last thing right before my F-1 expried and they allowed me to stay for one more year (I didn't use the whole year though and returned after nine months of staying in B-2 tourist status.) And what about that two-year rule all J-1 students usually - and unfortunatelly - have? I guess it doesn't matter if you've filed for Fiance visa???

Good luck for you and your soulmate:)!!! I hope that time will fly for you as it did for us:)

Masha

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Echoing a few others here:

- Keep focused on the end goal! We here are luckier than many people in LDR because we see in an end in sight to ours. The LDRs that are really hard or that fail are nearly always ones where people have no goals.

I find it hard sometimes because friends and family can be very negative - they don't understand how your LDR can work. These forums really help as is it full of people who HAVE made it work, and they can give you strength!

I also keep a countdown. You might be amazed at how quickly 200 days passes into 100, or 50 into 10.

- Keep yourself busy, as mariapoe says. I find it much harder first thing in the morning and last thing at night, when I am waking up or going to sleep in an empty bed. Other than that I have some fantastic friends and I see them - eat meals with them, watch movies - as often as possible.

Watching TV shows, movies and reading books and then getting your other half to do the same also gives you something to talk about! It's more fun if you can both discuss a favourite novel or last night's episode.

- Plan and prepare! To be honest if I could fly out tomorrow I probably wouldn't, because I actually still have quite a few things to tie up here first. I'd also like to save money and think about what I'm going to be shipping out with me.

- Maintain regular contact! (A given, but still). We manage to talk to or message each other every day. But equally, like Jeraly says, don't feel that you HAVE to be in regular communication, or else you'll start to feel resentful. Sometimes conversation may run a little dry. This is when playing a game together (I don't go for MMORPGs, but there are plenty of other options) or watching something while on skype can be a good idea. At the very least I can appreciate texts letting me know that my fiancé is home safe from work, or that he is about to go out somewhere.

[Jeraly 4]

- Plan and prepare! To be honest if I could fly out tomorrow I probably wouldn't, because I actually still have quite a few things to tie up here first. I'd also like to save money and think about what I'm going to be shipping out with me.

Totally - I have a great excuse in that I want to be here for my mum's 50th at the end of June but the visa not turning up in time for next month is kinda in our favour - it would be a nightmare if I had to suddenly up and leave - guess that's why they give you 6 months to move

[B'sA 0]

I communicated for three years. It's bad but not impossible. be patient

3 years???

Now, that's a strong relationship!

Yep, we do all of that: playing on-line games, talking for hours on skype.I cannot even imagine what would i do without seeing him everyday, or without having the chance to talk with him, but the time difference(8 hours) is killing me, although sometimes makes me feel i'm 8 hours closer to the interview date

Thank you all so much!

[B'sA 0]

I have a question, too. Why didn't you apply for a visa extention or change of status? I did the last thing right before my F-1 expried and they allowed me to stay for one more year (I didn't use the whole year though and returned after nine months of staying in B-2 tourist status.) And what about that two-year rule all J-1 students usually - and unfortunatelly - have? I guess it doesn't matter if you've filed for Fiance visa???

Good luck for you and your soulmate:)!!! I hope that time will fly for you as it did for us:)

Masha

I needed to finish my school(I'm graduating the University this year), and i wanted to do things right.

Besides, we've thought about that with my boyfriend, and he had no doubt he wanted to marry me, and the sooner i would have leave, the sooner i would have come back.

And i was verry lucky too, cause(don't ask me why) but the two-year rule does not apply for me!

Yep, the embassy issued me a visa with multiple entry and no two year rule!

I'm not even sorry i did things the way i've done them, i'm just happy we'll be together in a few months(hopefully not too many)

Thanks for supporting

[*JG* 2]

...When you feel like you're going crazy without your soulmades?

When the pain gets allmost physical?

That's a really tough test...

Is there a secret to keep strong?

My secret was keeping busy.....I worked 2 jobs and I made about 1000 cards while I was waiting. I mailed a card I had made to him every single day. Other then that, I was on the phone with him or sleeping. Only thing that kept my sanity was to keep moving.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Think of a new way to reach out to your SO, help refresh your connection, and keep it strong

You already know you have emails, calls, sending an online postcard...how about making a small video for your SO somewhere that means something special for the both of you, save it on a disk and mail it?

a care package? a postcard or a letter? emails can never replace a letter written by your own hand

Flowers, a song you share...

You'll brighten your SO's day, and channel this sadness into something positive.

Remember, your SO is going through the same thing, keep your eyes on the prize and remember this is only temporary

Saludos,

Caro

[mariapoe 0]

I have a question, too. Why didn't you apply for a visa extention or change of status? I did the last thing right before my F-1 expried and they allowed me to stay for one more year (I didn't use the whole year though and returned after nine months of staying in B-2 tourist status.) And what about that two-year rule all J-1 students usually - and unfortunatelly - have? I guess it doesn't matter if you've filed for Fiance visa???

Good luck for you and your soulmate:)!!! I hope that time will fly for you as it did for us:)

Masha

I needed to finish my school(I'm graduating the University this year), and i wanted to do things right.

Besides, we've thought about that with my boyfriend, and he had no doubt he wanted to marry me, and the sooner i would have leave, the sooner i would have come back.

And i was verry lucky too, cause(don't ask me why) but the two-year rule does not apply for me!

Yep, the embassy issued me a visa with multiple entry and no two year rule!

I'm not even sorry i did things the way i've done them, i'm just happy we'll be together in a few months(hopefully not too many)

Thanks for supporting

Oh I got it. Your timeline says 'visa expired' 09/14 or something, that's why I asked about why you didn't get the extension/change of status. It's good you're graduating though! Just don't forget to translate and notorize your diploma when you'll be leaving Moldova for the US. It'll help you when you'll be looking for a job or another school there. Although, I'm sure you'll do great without my sweet advices:) And yes, you've been really lucky when you avoided that stupid two-year rule. The rule is so meaningless... Good for you though

And good luck with your NO2, too. I've noticed that when they keep forwarding k1 petitions from one service center to another as they did with yours, they process them pretty quick eventually. It sums up in four months in average anyway, but VSC is faster than others, so I hope you'll get yours really soon:)

Take care. I hope that time will fly for you guys as it did for us

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Lots of cold showers.

...When you feel like you're going crazy without your soulmades?

When the pain gets allmost physical?

That's a really tough test...

Is there a secret to keep strong?

Amen to that!!!

The idea about using an online game like WOW is a great one. I do this now with my college age daughter and it's great fun, I actually played with her from the Ukraine during some downtime at an internet cafe. The game is very popular in Eastern Europe and many internet cafes are set up for that (if your SO doesn't mind hanging around with a bunch of 14 year olds). Unfortunately my SO doesn't have a fast enough connection and she is too tied up with work to partake in such things. One word though, be careful about slaughtering too many helpless other players if you're online with her.....she may get the wrong idea about you.