Cultural Adjustment

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Mawnin,

A mi again...fawurd... How did your spouse/fiance/fiancee adjust to the US and did he/she have family here? For those from a different background, did your family/friends except the marriage (as if it matters). Just curious. Thanks.

Had to throw this in...lady ijust walked into my office her WIG is leaning...cho let me go tell her, hope she's not offened. Looks like Chaka Khan.

Lawny

[SupportOAFJF 0]

ahhhahaa..mi belly...ahhaahaa..a cyan stop laugh...mi woulda tell har to

It was hard or hubby to adjust, he thinks he has grown and learned what he needs to already and the 1st month I had sit him down alot of times on things that we do here and why we do them...him have family yere but dat no mean nuttin....dats was a whole rigmarow wid dem....mi did affi show him seh everybody (mostly) a fi dem self...dem nice now cause u just come but gi dem 2mths and u will see true colors ,so said so done...but he is much much better..him still tink US

ave too much rules and laws but dats why MOST tings work cause everybody cyan do what dem feel when dem feel like it.

but, with all that be prepared cause it tough especially if him never go a farrin before

just mi 2cents

Kimmy

[Jengles 0]

ditto for what Kimmy said. It is hard and as for family he says they weren't bothering with him when he was in JA so he isn't going to bother with them now, but they don't live round we so its all good.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

ditto for what Kimmy said. It is hard and as for family he says they weren't bothering with him when he was in JA so he isn't going to bother with them now, but they don't live round we so its all good.

ur so lucky they live far ...that's the same thing he has been saying lately...he's used to HIMSELF so it's no different now..nobosy cared when he was in JA and dem not even know how he got here and dem a gwaan like dem bran new now....now I realize I don't have to say certain things anymore..he has been learning..also he was going crazy not havving a job..the house drove him mad...especially when it got cold...

[*JG* 2]

Adjustment was hard. And, I'm not sure it's all said and done yet.

Andre was bored and restless for the 7 months it took him to get a full-time job. I was crazed trying to find stuff for him to do and, luckily, the "cash" job a friend offered.

Explaining to him why he couldn't pee in the back yard, walk down the street with the machette, spliff, or an open container of alcohol, call JA whenever and for however long he pleased, drive without a license, how to budget and responsibly use an ATM/Debit card, when we could send money back and when we couldn't, etc.....those were challenges.

Andre's sister lives in New York. Close enough to be of some support and comfort; not nearly far enough away on some days. He's had a few friends pass through town.

Today, it's almost two years later and all has pretty much worked itself out. You have to be really patient, able to look at the situations through their eyes and understand a bit, and communicate more then you ever thought possible.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Adjustment was hard. And, I'm not sure it's all said and done yet.

Andre was bored and restless for the 7 months it took him to get a full-time job. I was crazed trying to find stuff for him to do and, luckily, the "cash" job a friend offered.

Explaining to him why he couldn't pee in the back yard, walk down the street with the machette, spliff, or an open container of alcohol, call JA whenever and for however long he pleased, drive without a license, how to budget and responsibly use an ATM/Debit card, when we could send money back and when we couldn't, etc.....those were challenges.

Andre's sister lives in New York. Close enough to be of some support and comfort; not nearly far enough away on some days. He's had a few friends pass through town.

Today, it's almost two years later and all has pretty much worked itself out. You have to be really patient, able to look at the situations through their eyes and understand a bit, and communicate more then you ever thought possible.

Right on

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

DWL @ jomo & kimmi....I know my man think US have 2 many rules too...when I went to visit him he pissed anywhere he wanted. I told him that he can't do that in US...they will lock your a$$ up...he has a few family here, but she think she all that, told him I was too OLD...mi afi tell her fi more her Cl*&(#$*&$#. I didn't want to be rude, but she had no right. She didn't even know me at all and I was so polite to her. I drove 4 R*#$ hours to New York to bring her fish and ackee and rum. Soon as mi left, di ooman ago call im seh mi too old fi im...and im nufi deh wid no ooman weh have pickney already. He don't need a readymade family. I had to PRAY on my 4 hour drive back. I didn't even get out Queens good before she called him. She called 10mins after I left.

DWL @ pee'in in the backyard

[*JG* 2]

DWL @ jomo & kimmi....I know my man think US have 2 many rules too...when I went to visit him he pissed anywhere he wanted. I told him that he can't do that in US...they will lock your a$$ up...he has a few family here, but she think she all that, told him I was too OLD...mi afi tell her fi more her Cl*&(#$*&$#. I didn't want to be rude, but she had no right. She didn't even know me at all and I was so polite to her. I drove 4 R*#$ hours to New York to bring her fish and ackee and rum. Soon as mi left, di ooman ago call im seh mi too old fi im...and im nufi deh wid no ooman weh have pickney already. He don't need a readymade family. I had to PRAY on my 4 hour drive back. I didn't even get out Queens good before she called him. She called 10mins after I left.

DWL @ pee'in in the backyard

Not to sound at all negative; but you are going to really have long talks with him on how you feel about this. For you to face this so early on is not a good thing. Believe me when I say it will be a constant thing you will deal with. IMO....that was kind of a rude and ungrateful thing for her to say and do without really knowing you.

I had children going into this. We will have no more unless we adopt our orphaned nephew, which I really want to do. This has not been an issue with us. Andre always said my kids are his kids and he's stood up to that.

Age is just a number too, girly. If the two of you can make it work, who is anyone else to tell you differently. Keep the faith!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

LAwny she syam outta order fi real...I would nicely tell her a piece of my mind....dis old foot good enough fi bring har man a farrin so oonh can pack up him head a cra though...full a sh**t

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

DWL @ jomo & kimmi....I know my man think US have 2 many rules too...when I went to visit him he pissed anywhere he wanted. I told him that he can't do that in US...they will lock your a$$ up...he has a few family here, but she think she all that, told him I was too OLD...mi afi tell her fi more her Cl*&(#$*&$#. I didn't want to be rude, but she had no right. She didn't even know me at all and I was so polite to her. I drove 4 R*#$ hours to New York to bring her fish and ackee and rum. Soon as mi left, di ooman ago call im seh mi too old fi im...and im nufi deh wid no ooman weh have pickney already. He don't need a readymade family. I had to PRAY on my 4 hour drive back. I didn't even get out Queens good before she called him. She called 10mins after I left.

DWL @ pee'in in the backyard

Not to sound at all negative; but you are going to really have long talks with him on how you feel about this. For you to face this so early on is not a good thing. Believe me when I say it will be a constant thing you will deal with. IMO....that was kind of a rude and ungrateful thing for her to say and do without really knowing you.

I had children going into this. We will have no more unless we adopt our orphaned nephew, which I really want to do. This has not been an issue with us. Andre always said my kids are his kids and he's stood up to that.

Age is just a number too, girly. If the two of you can make it work, who is anyone else to tell you differently. Keep the faith!

No NEGATIVITY taken. I'm here for advice, so I'll take it. Besides, eventhough I don't know you, my spirit take you. He put her in her PLACE when she said that...she had no right and he stood up for me. He said he's not putting anyone before me and I'm not putting anyone before him. His people back in Montego Bay was also upset about her comments. They told me to pay her no mind, just to ignore her. I did her a great favor and well, she's a (I won't say it here) I'll do as you suggest and keep the faith.

[*JG* 2]

DWL @ jomo & kimmi....I know my man think US have 2 many rules too...when I went to visit him he pissed anywhere he wanted. I told him that he can't do that in US...they will lock your a$$ up...he has a few family here, but she think she all that, told him I was too OLD...mi afi tell her fi more her Cl*&(#$*&$#. I didn't want to be rude, but she had no right. She didn't even know me at all and I was so polite to her. I drove 4 R*#$ hours to New York to bring her fish and ackee and rum. Soon as mi left, di ooman ago call im seh mi too old fi im...and im nufi deh wid no ooman weh have pickney already. He don't need a readymade family. I had to PRAY on my 4 hour drive back. I didn't even get out Queens good before she called him. She called 10mins after I left.

DWL @ pee'in in the backyard

Not to sound at all negative; but you are going to really have long talks with him on how you feel about this. For you to face this so early on is not a good thing. Believe me when I say it will be a constant thing you will deal with. IMO....that was kind of a rude and ungrateful thing for her to say and do without really knowing you.

I had children going into this. We will have no more unless we adopt our orphaned nephew, which I really want to do. This has not been an issue with us. Andre always said my kids are his kids and he's stood up to that.

Age is just a number too, girly. If the two of you can make it work, who is anyone else to tell you differently. Keep the faith!

No NEGATIVITY taken. I'm here for advice, so I'll take it. Besides, eventhough I don't know you, my spirit take you. He put her in her PLACE when she said that...she had no right and he stood up for me. He said he's not putting anyone before me and I'm not putting anyone before him. His people back in Montego Bay was also upset about her comments. They told me to pay her no mind, just to ignore her. I did her a great favor and well, she's a (I won't say it here) I'll do as you suggest and keep the faith.

That is a giant step in the right direction. Good for him.

You just watch your back now. Mama sounds like a real piece of work.

[clairern 0]

Mawnin,

A mi again...fawurd... How did your spouse/fiance/fiancee adjust to the US and did he/she have family here? For those from a different background, did your family/friends except the marriage (as if it matters). Just curious. Thanks.

Had to throw this in...lady ijust walked into my office her WIG is leaning...cho let me go tell her, hope she's not offened. Looks like Chaka Khan.

Lawny

Lawny, yuh bad nuh rass (like Gill would say) Ah hope she nuh offended and nock yuh up side you head..

ahhhahaa..mi belly...ahhaahaa..a cyan stop laugh...mi woulda tell har to

It was hard or hubby to adjust, he thinks he has grown and learned what he needs to already and the 1st month I had sit him down alot of times on things that we do here and why we do them...him have family yere but dat no mean nuttin....dats was a whole rigmarow wid dem....mi did affi show him seh everybody (mostly) a fi dem self...dem nice now cause u just come but gi dem 2mths and u will see true colors ,so said so done...but he is much much better..him still tink US

ave too much rules and laws but dats why MOST tings work cause everybody cyan do what dem feel when dem feel like it.

but, with all that be prepared cause it tough especially if him never go a farrin before

just mi 2cents

Kimmy

No change fi yuh Kimmy

[Black Velvet 4]

Mawnin,

A mi again...fawurd... How did your spouse/fiance/fiancee adjust to the US and did he/she have family here? For those from a different background, did your family/friends except the marriage (as if it matters). Just curious. Thanks.

Had to throw this in...lady ijust walked into my office her WIG is leaning...cho let me go tell her, hope she's not offened. Looks like Chaka Khan.

Lawny

My husband has been here for a little over a month. He is adjusting well. Kevin has nuff family in America. With the exception of Christmas & New Year's, we talk to his family by telephone. Kevin doesn't want them to think that he is going to ask for any thing. I feel like none of his relatives broke their necks to get him here so no love lost if they don't communicate.

My family accepts Kevin because they know the struggle. Our cultures are similiar. My family is from Panama. I really don't care about acceptance. Only outsiders like co-workers had to say negative things like "What if you are being used for a green card?" I can worry about others. That's why I love about this website. People have issues that mirror mine.

Likkle more,

Kelia

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

DWL @ jomo & kimmi....I know my man think US have 2 many rules too...when I went to visit him he pissed anywhere he wanted. I told him that he can't do that in US...they will lock your a$$ up...he has a few family here, but she think she all that, told him I was too OLD...mi afi tell her fi more her Cl*&(#$*&$#. I didn't want to be rude, but she had no right. She didn't even know me at all and I was so polite to her. I drove 4 R*#$ hours to New York to bring her fish and ackee and rum. Soon as mi left, di ooman ago call im seh mi too old fi im...and im nufi deh wid no ooman weh have pickney already. He don't need a readymade family. I had to PRAY on my 4 hour drive back. I didn't even get out Queens good before she called him. She called 10mins after I left.

DWL @ pee'in in the backyard

she renk an outta rass awda...mek shi move har nasty rass an GWEH cha.....if him did want a young gyal, him woulda fine one long time, nuff deh a JA, a YUH him wah....BRITE

[Marvsgirl 0]

Hi Trelawny, don't worry about a thing. You will always find a negative person out there. I dated a guy for 10 years and I got along with everyone except for 1 sister. She was just a miserable person. People are very jealous and back stabbing. It's good that she revealed herself early so you know not to be bothered with her. She'll need you before you'll need her. Women are very lonely and desperate and don't want to see others happy. When I first told people about Marvin, I received neg. vibes from my family so I don't discuss him with them. My parents are coming around though because they asked what was going on with the case but my info. is still limited. You love your SO, so the heck with everybody else. We only live once so be happy. Go for it!!! If someone would have told me that I would be in love with someone from another country, I would have laughed but when it's your destiny, no one or nothing can stop it from happening.

Bridget