Loving the African male

[Simply_Uno 1]

Depending on what type of engineer he is (you can have a evaluation of his credentials completed to facilitate his movement into the American job market),

How do I go about the creditial evaluation??

he may not need to be fluent in english to work here.

He's fluent in "english" its his GRAMMER that is the issue.

Plenty of foreigners working here in that field. I try to talk some to Bassi about his expectations as well, but I think that some things he will just have to see for himself. For Bassi, it helps that he has family here, cause they can give him the real deal. But, he's a grown up, and if he feels overwhelmed when he gets here, I hope he'll know he can talk to me about it. Sometimes he bottles things up, so that my biggest worry.

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

thank you (smoochies)

[Zee Bee 61]

Depending on what type of engineer he is (you can have a evaluation of his credentials completed to facilitate his movement into the American job market),

How do I go about the creditial evaluation??

he may not need to be fluent in english to work here.

He's fluent in "english" its his GRAMMER that is the issue.

Plenty of foreigners working here in that field. I try to talk some to Bassi about his expectations as well, but I think that some things he will just have to see for himself. For Bassi, it helps that he has family here, cause they can give him the real deal. But, he's a grown up, and if he feels overwhelmed when he gets here, I hope he'll know he can talk to me about it. Sometimes he bottles things up, so that my biggest worry.

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

Thanks for the info. I hadn't thought about this yet.

[ForeverAmen 0]

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

My husband used this service. They do have a website - www.wes.org

Boaz

[ara 0]

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

My husband used this service. They do have a website - www.wes.org

Boaz

OMG Thanks so much for this information my husband has a business degree and he did some studies in international relations in Nigeria and everyone I have talked to told me that his degree would not transfer so we have been under the impression that he would have to start over. I totally feel out of the loop I swear I learn something new everyday! Thanks again

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

My husband used this service. They do have a website - www.wes.org

Boaz

OMG Thanks so much for this information my husband has a business degree and he did some studies in international relations in Nigeria and everyone I have talked to told me that his degree would not transfer so we have been under the impression that he would have to start over. I totally feel out of the loop I swear I learn something new everyday! Thanks again

I don't know that everything can be evaluated as comparable, but you might as well contact them and find out. As my mom always says, the worst the can do is say No.

[Ta Ta 1]

I HATE the fact that I now suck my teeth.

My mom used to smack me in the back of the head every time I sucked my teeth. I quickly dropped the habit. Need a hand.....

Ummmm....no....think I'll pass this time. (And, yes, I did just suck teeth when I read that!) Hee hee.....

I am doing the same ! Sometimes I think he gets my point better with it ....lets call it *kissteet* like the Jamaican crowd.

I do not have another African word to replace it with.

[Ta Ta 1]

The most popular and well respected place is called World Education Services. and it's in NYC. I think they have a website. You send your transcripts and they evaluate and if it's found to be comparable to an american degree, they send you a certificate. You can use the certificate to apply for licensure. There are many others though, so you can probably do a google search or check the website, but it matters that they have a reputation or the certificate is not worth the ink to print it. As an HR professional, I can vouch for WES, but I don't know every one that's acceptable. Your licensure agency might also have a list. It's usually a State office. In NY it's the Education dept. But I think in many other states it's the actual Dept of State for the state, not the federal department of state. I hope I didn't confuse you.

My husband used this service. They do have a website - www.wes.org

Boaz

OMG Thanks so much for this information my husband has a business degree and he did some studies in international relations in Nigeria and everyone I have talked to told me that his degree would not transfer so we have been under the impression that he would have to start over. I totally feel out of the loop I swear I learn something new everyday! Thanks again

I don't know that everything can be evaluated as comparable, but you might as well contact them and find out. As my mom always says, the worst the can do is say No.

Sometimes it gives you a direction on what courses you are still lacking and you may not have to redo everything.

So there is an in between the yay and no. Just make sure the service is listed by the entity and acceptable to them.

We will be using this service also in the future.

[Adrians Mom 0]

Back to the topic of the book....

Hmmm...I doubt that I'll invest money in purchasing this book. Its seems as if this man's point of view would be slightly different from the views of our significant others'. I'm only saying this because the man hasn't lived in Africa for more than 25 years. A majority of the ladies on here are getting married to men that recently left Africa within the last year. Some of our SO's haven't left yet. Different mentality if you ask me. In my own observations, the mentalites of the african men that have been living in the states for some time is a bit watered down. Some of them tend to try to behave like americans if you ask me. I'm sure this guy isn't saying anything different than what we've heard from the few men that contribute on this board. He lived in Nigeria in the 80's...does he really know the struggle and the issues that our men face in this day and age? Can he really relate? Or is he basing it off of what he hears from his folks back home. Who knows?

I'm sure its a really good book, and I'm not trying to discredit the message this guy is trying to put out. I'm just saving my $20. I have an african father, uncles, brothers that can probably give me the same insight this dude will. And in my opinion, you don't learn how to love a man through a book.

Not trying to cause a stir, just giving my honest opinion.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Back to the topic of the book....

Hmmm...I doubt that I'll invest money in purchasing this book. Its seems as if this man's point of view would be slightly different from the views of our significant others'. I'm only saying this because the man hasn't lived in Africa for more than 25 years. A majority of the ladies on here are getting married to men that recently left Africa within the last year. Some of our SO's haven't left yet. Different mentality if you ask me. In my own observations, the mentalites of the african men that have been living in the states for some time is a bit watered down. Some of them tend to try to behave like americans if you ask me. I'm sure this guy isn't saying anything different than what we've heard from the few men that contribute on this board. He lived in Nigeria in the 80's...does he really know the struggle and the issues that our men face in this day and age? Can he really relate? Or is he basing it off of what he hears from his folks back home. Who knows?

I'm sure its a really good book, and I'm not trying to discredit the message this guy is trying to put out. I'm just saving my $20. I have an african father, uncles, brothers that can probably give me the same insight this dude will. And in my opinion, you don't learn how to love a man through a book.

Not trying to cause a stir, just giving my honest opinion.

I never thought of it that way, but well said...bravisimo

Edited January 17, 2008 by unononehigher

[Ta Ta 1]

Back to the topic of the book....

Hmmm...I doubt that I'll invest money in purchasing this book. Its seems as if this man's point of view would be slightly different from the views of our significant others'. I'm only saying this because the man hasn't lived in Africa for more than 25 years. A majority of the ladies on here are getting married to men that recently left Africa within the last year. Some of our SO's haven't left yet. Different mentality if you ask me. In my own observations, the mentalites of the african men that have been living in the states for some time is a bit watered down. Some of them tend to try to behave like americans if you ask me. I'm sure this guy isn't saying anything different than what we've heard from the few men that contribute on this board. He lived in Nigeria in the 80's...does he really know the struggle and the issues that our men face in this day and age? Can he really relate? Or is he basing it off of what he hears from his folks back home. Who knows?

I'm sure its a really good book, and I'm not trying to discredit the message this guy is trying to put out. I'm just saving my $20. I have an african father, uncles, brothers that can probably give me the same insight this dude will. And in my opinion, you don't learn how to love a man through a book.

Not trying to cause a stir, just giving my honest opinion.

I so totally disagree with you here. The author draws from his own experiences on how to relate to an American woman, as in a relationship and marriage. He wrote down so many personal notes over the years from his own experiences.

What difference does it make if he did it 25 years ago or now ? The positive difference it DOES make is that he can give us

a trial and error insight, what works and what doesn't what approach he had to change over the years. Having been here

longer versus someone who just came over who do you think has more substantial input from experience ?

If he didn't have a different mentality how could he possibly be helpfull ?

Of course his views are different from our SO's and that is the whole point, he has been through it, our SO's haven't.

Why would they need advice from someone who just came over trying to figure it all out himself ?

If you personally have an African father, brothers, uncles married to American woman then yes you have solid advice if their

marriages are successful to Western wives.

I think you are missing the whole point of this books intent, it is not about the struggles and issues the African man who immigrates faces, it is speciffically meant to be helpful in developing a harmonious cross cultural relationship, specifically with an American woman.

The author is firmly rooted and grounded in his culture which he embraces and encourages for all Africans to instill into

their children here.

I have been here in this country longer than you have been alive, coming from Germany and I am here to tell you that my

German culture is and always will be a part of me and I would be very qualified to help German immigrants just as he is helping African / Western relationships.

You are misguided in the soundness of your perspective in my humble opinion.

[Adrians Mom 0]

Oh no...maybe I wasn't clear...see I wasn't trying to be malicious at all....

The difference in him emigrating here 25 years ago vs now, is that he was most likely in his teens when he emigrated here. Looking at the man, he's no more than 40 years old. He's probably soaked up so much of the american culture since then, he just isn't comparable to our SO's who are fresh to this country. He's had a chance to adjust to women here, and who knows...some things that are acceptable to him may not be acceptable to someone who's been in Africa up until now. Huge difference to me. I am totally in line with the book's intent...I never said it was based on the struggles and issues of the African man coming to the U.S...just an example to support why I wouldn't purchase the book.

How do you know he's firmly rooted and grounded in his culture? Is it because the bling around his neck and in both of his ears? Is it because he's posing in front of a benz? Or because his last name is African? lol. I didn't read the book, so maybe the answer lies there. I'm not misguided at all, I was just giving my honest opinion, which happens to disagree with yours. No harm. This forum would be really boring if everyone walked in one single file line and all nodded and agreed with each other. No need to illustrate your age, congratulations for being in this country that long. Just saying that some could have saved their money and scrolled through some pages of VJ for less than 20 bucks. If you've got something out of the book, then your money was well spent, and happy reading.

[reeses16 8]

True dat ting. I like to point out different things just to see how many items are similar to our culture. One thing we eat is (coo-coo) which they call (corn foo-foo). Jalof rice with chicken is our (arroz con pollo) Eaten very much alike

And its all like Jumbalaya! Sorry, I'm form Louisiana. It was funny to me how some of the food in Brazil, Cuba, and Nigeria reminds me of Louisiana.

[Ta Ta 1]

Oh no...maybe I wasn't clear...see I wasn't trying to be malicious at all....

The difference in him emigrating here 25 years ago vs now, is that he was most likely in his teens when he emigrated here. Looking at the man, he's no more than 40 years old. He's probably soaked up so much of the american culture since then, he just isn't comparable to our SO's who are fresh to this country. He's had a chance to adjust to women here, and who knows...some things that are acceptable to him may not be acceptable to someone who's been in Africa up until now. Huge difference to me. I am totally in line with the book's intent...I never said it was based on the struggles and issues of the African man coming to the U.S...just an example to support why I wouldn't purchase the book.

How do you know he's firmly rooted and grounded in his culture? Is it because the bling around his neck and in both of his ears? Is it because he's posing in front of a benz? Or because his last name is African? lol. I didn't read the book, so maybe the answer lies there. I'm not misguided at all, I was just giving my honest opinion, which happens to disagree with yours. No harm. This forum would be really boring if everyone walked in one single file line and all nodded and agreed with each other. No need to illustrate your age, congratulations for being in this country that long. Just saying that some could have saved their money and scrolled through some pages of VJ for less than 20 bucks. If you've got something out of the book, then your money was well spent, and happy reading.

He has more experience having lived here for longer and having formed several relationships

than someone fresh from Africa. Precisely THAT is why he has the experience to write this type of book.

Sorry that you do not understand this, but I can't be any clearer. If an African came here and lived here for a month

how on earth can he write a book on how to relate to an American woman ? I do not understand your reasoning.

You will hear me strongly disagree with his points later in the book, I do not agree with all of his points so I have no problem with

someone not agreeing and do not expect anyone else to file in line agreeing whatsoever. We are all having fun here, maybe that was a crucial point missed by you.

What I do have a problem with is that certain people base their opinions on looking at a cover of a book

and not the contents. This is an absurd judgement call in my opinion.

No, obviously I am not basing my opinion about him being rooted in his culture on his bling bling or car, or his last name.

That insinuation is full of sarcasm on your part, so please spare us your abrasiveness.

You do seem to have a problem with an African man who has made it here and is wealthy. Would you have prefered

him poor with a goat in his picture ?

Why mention his posessions and what does have to do with the contents of the book ? Well , you wouldn't be able to answer since you do not read the book and therefore don't understand the contents.

If you would actually read it you would not make assumptions

and see that a chapter titled ' Pass it on ' was to instill African culture into the second generation. His pages are flavored with

his cultural roots throughout the book. His father was a chief and he comes from a huge family.His mother does not even speak English.

Exactly, ,some things acceptable with him won't be acceptable to other Africans not here yet ? That again is the point.

You said he had a chance to adjust to woman here........thank you , exactly the point....he has EXPERIENCE to share with the reader. I sure as heck would not want to read a book from someone who just came here trying to tell me how to's.

You bring out these valid points and yet say it doesn't qualify him for his tips and advice. And indeed it is precisely those points that do

qualify him. All your examples you repeatedly bring out about him are the ones that DO qualify him. LOL !

Going through the pages of VJ instead of reading this book ? Are you serious ? What do you call this thread ?

It is an attempt to gather information and advice and exchange ideas based on someone who has been through it and a core focus for us to bounce ideas off on.

Bringing insight to those who come after us.

If you don't feel this thread is helpful then please skip it and read whatever gives you more enlightenment on VJ.

I never said you said the book is based on African male issues and struggles. You said you doubted that it was , meaning

that is what you prefered. I then pointed out no it is based on cross cultural relationship issues.

You did not comprehend my post.

My illustration of my age as you call it was to point out to you that after many years of living here I still feel rooted in my culture.

It is a choice of the way you live and what you want to retain and not about how long you have lived here that qualifies you to give advice on cultural issues. I welcome the input from African male members and do not so lightly dismiss them as you did in your post, no matter how long they have lived here, their advice is valueable.

I hope you don't expect me to walk around in Lederhosen though and realize his bling bling has nothing to do with his intent of the book. Unfortunatly people are judged on outward appearance too much and false assumptions are made, and heaven forbid there is an African brother with a nice car and bling bling.....sad. Crabs in a bucket mentality.

And no, he was not a teen coming here but he arrived and joined the Navy as a grown man. He worked hard, defended our country

failed in his bisiness and climbed and struggled up again.

This thread's purpose is to discuss a book. If you don't like it then that is fine. Perhaps another thread is more suitable for you.

Thank you for your opinion, I am just baffled by it. I have mine and you have yours.

Peace.

[His Glory 25]

Nix the book is really entertaining. If you want to save your money, cool but the book is good. I wasnt really thrown off by the cover because I know when some men get some success they like to show it. I think it will help to encourage some young african men to see that he is successful and open the book and see what he has to say, which is very good because he has a section just for them. he really gives some good advice to them about not scamming and about counting their blessings. I thought he would have a bit of an ego though from the pic but in the book he is very warm. He tells his experiences as he has gone through them but with the benefit of hindsight we are invited to see the humor, the pain and the evolution. This is book didnt teach me how to love my man more but it did open my eyes some to situations that I had been in with my husband and it helped me to remember to be alert to the possiblity that we may be misinterpreting each other's actions. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to participating in the book club. Personally I think its pretty cool. I havent seen any other books like this on this topic. Sort of like a male version Bsangin's future book. Im glad it was recommended.

[Ta Ta 1]

Oh no...maybe I wasn't clear...see I wasn't trying to be malicious at all....

Thank you, I do appreciate that.