Just Turkish

[Jenn and Fuat 2]

yes. I think Debbie says this best.

There's just no way to know what the experience will be like until your SO gets here. That said, it sounds like you are doing the right things in preparation of arrival - talking. GL and KUP!

JennandFuat,

I sent you a message.

Maybe this is a very personal issue for some....ppl like to think after all this time, paperwork... The tears we shed that only happy time come when we are reunited...doesn't always work that way...adjusting can be very difficult for some. To others, simple....one won't know until you live it.

MashAllah…….Not all have hard times, I talk to many who are so very happy...everything just fell into place....

Wishing you both the very best in this journey

Debbie

I realize that I may have asked something that was too personal for some, so I hope I did not offend anyone. Thank you to the people who have sent me messages with their thoughts. I really do appreciate it.

Now, I have a not so personal question

I know we are a long way off from having to worry about Packet # 3, but there are some things I know I can start working on now, or at least get ready to start working on them. I'm a little confused about what I need to submit with the I-134 form as far as supporting evidence.

I've read a few forums on VJ and everyone seems to have a different answer, and says it could depend on the consulate, so I am hoping someone can let me know what will be correct for Ankara.

I will not need a co-sponsor, and have been told by some of the senior VJ members that if I make well above the required amount that I will only need to provide the I-134, my tax return, W2 and a few paycheck stubs. Is this correct?

Some have stated I will also need a letter from my bank as well as copies of my bank statements.. others say this is only needed if you need a co-sponsor or only make slightly above the required amount.

Will I need to provide a letter from the bank and copies of my bank statements?

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Hi Jenn,

For me all the paperwork was easy. I did EVERYTHING I could to make sure we would not get a REF. I too am over the poverty line so that was not an issue for us. I went to the bank, got the letter, gave 3 months of bank statements, 3 years of tax returns with w-2's, 6 moths of paystubs, sent in actual photos, emails, cards, payments he made on my phone bill from Turkey, bill was $ 1,400.00 , Phone cards I purchased, cell phone bills which showed calls to Turkey and text messages, baggage receipt, Itinerary, my flight plan, my passport (all pages) my divorce paperwork (all pages) anything and everything.

The file was HUGE. Honestly I did not stress over the documentation because I knew I had everything covered. But that’s just me and making me feel comfortable that I provided all I could to make this happen for us without giving too much more stress on him.

His stress level was high as he was leaving his home and family and towards the end it was very hard on him but he did come 1 month after he got his visa.

Everyone is different so I am sure you will get allot of very different answers

Hope that helps.

Take care,

Debbie

I realize that I may have asked something that was too personal for some, so I hope I did not offend anyone. Thank you to the people who have sent me messages with their thoughts. I really do appreciate it.

Now, I have a not so personal question

I know we are a long way off from having to worry about Packet # 3, but there are some things I know I can start working on now, or at least get ready to start working on them. I'm a little confused about what I need to submit with the I-134 form as far as supporting evidence.

I've read a few forums on VJ and everyone seems to have a different answer, and says it could depend on the consulate, so I am hoping someone can let me know what will be correct for Ankara.

I will not need a co-sponsor, and have been told by some of the senior VJ members that if I make well above the required amount that I will only need to provide the I-134, my tax return, W2 and a few paycheck stubs. Is this correct?

Some have stated I will also need a letter from my bank as well as copies of my bank statements.. others say this is only needed if you need a co-sponsor or only make slightly above the required amount.

Will I need to provide a letter from the bank and copies of my bank statements?

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Keep us posted Hope this process goes quick for you both

Hello Gil + Pel,

Yes, send Originals when you can. I also sent in photo copies of the "proof". I ALWAYS made a complete copy of ALL my documents for my own file. This file was used for back up and my husband used it for his interview.

Best wishes to you.

Debbie

Hi everybody !

I am preparing my documents to send the embassy ( package 3 ) but I need some help ...

I am going to send the original documents ( birth certificate, police report, I-134 and related documents ) to the embassy and take copies of each document w/ me to the interview right ?

this might be a stupid question but I had to ask ...

thank you very much for your replies debbie. I appreciate it. I sent everything before u posted them tho... even the entire I-129F package...

still tho, thanks a lot !

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Congratulation on your interview date Gil + Pel

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I just saw your photo Jenn...you both look so sweet together

[Gil + Pel 2]

Congratulation on your interview date Gil + Pel

Thank you !!!!

[Jenn and Fuat 2]

Hi Jenn,

For me all the paperwork was easy. I did EVERYTHING I could to make sure we would not get a REF. I too am over the poverty line so that was not an issue for us. I went to the bank, got the letter, gave 3 months of bank statements, 3 years of tax returns with w-2's, 6 moths of paystubs, sent in actual photos, emails, cards, payments he made on my phone bill from Turkey, bill was $ 1,400.00 , Phone cards I purchased, cell phone bills which showed calls to Turkey and text messages, baggage receipt, Itinerary, my flight plan, my passport (all pages) my divorce paperwork (all pages) anything and everything.

Hope that helps.

Take care,

Debbie

Did you include all those things with packet # 3 ?? I had read someone else sent "proof of relationship" stuff in packet #3, just to make sure it made it to the "other side of the glass" and they had a chance to see it all before the interview..and then took a bunch more to the interview itself, so was actually considering doing that. OK.. now I don't feel so bad about MY phone bills. But they do get expensive don't they

I have tax returns, W2's, can get a letter from my employer and show bank statements I can print off the internet but the letter from the bank is what may cause a problem. My company relocated me a year ago, but I kept my bank account in another state. It's not a national bank, so no branches in my current location. I kept the account because I had been with them for so long and I know I will be relocted back eventually... but the bank will not give me a letter if I request it in email or over the phone. I would have to come in to a branch. I will make the 7 hour drive if the letter from the bank is required. I know I would have enough financial stuff to show without a bank letter.. but if Ankara is going to want it, I will make the drive to Ohio!

Thanks for the input !

Jenn

Edited October 3, 2009 by JennandFuat

[Jenn and Fuat 2]

I just saw your photo Jenn...you both look so sweet together

That just made my whole day !! Thanks...

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I just saw your photo Jenn...you both look so sweet together

That just made my whole day !! Thanks...

They don't need bank statements unless you don't meet the income guidelines...such as when you want to prove assets. In response to your other question, everyone is different. I know Hamit came here overly optimistic with unrealistic expectations about his English and fining work. You just need to be straight with Fuat and tell him it probab ly isn't going to nbe easy, you will miss your family and this is a whole new country, way of life AND a new marriage on top of it and that it may be rough, but yes you will be together, he can go back and visit and YES it does get easier. Tell him to keep this in mind so he won't be surprised later, but hey he may have it easy! Ya won't know till he gets here!

[Mina76 0]

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone is all doing well and happy!

As for myself, I am sorry for not being here for a long time now being that I had to go through a grieving period in my life and thought it would be best for me to stay away for a while because I needed time to gather my strength and to get well again after being in the hospital due to the stress of my work and mostly because of the stress and problems in my marriage.

Some of you had already known for some time now that my marriage was over and that I would soon be divorcing. It wasn't easy living with someone who truly did not tried his best to make it work here because he was always missing his mother and Turkey.

Of course I understood his unhappiness and I tried my best to make his life easier here, but one can only do so much to help make things better when the other does not even want to try.

Anyway as you can all see I have changed my signature now to being happily divorced soon because the heaviness of this marriage and visa process is finally over for me and I am much better now and looking forward to my new life and have been spending more time with my family and friends now, they are truly the most important people in my life!

Well I wish everyone here much much Love & Happiness and a warm Welcome to all the new couples that have joined "Just Turkish"!!!

GOD Bless Everyone,

Mina

Edited October 3, 2009 by Mina76

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Mina,

Congrats for being so strong, I know how hard it has been for you. Thank you for your message I will call you soon.

Big {{{HUG}}} to you

Debbie

[awaterlily 0]

hey Mina - whether you remain married to a Turk or not, you're always welcome here. You're neither the 1st nor last VJer to have this not work out. It's just a fact of life, u know. You did the best you could and tried as long as possilbe. In the end, that's all that is important.

We luv u!!! Stay strong, sista, ...and please do KUP!

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone is all doing well and happy!

As for myself, I am sorry for not being here for a long time now being that I had to go through a grieving period in my life and thought it would be best for me to stay away for a while because I needed time to gather my strength and to get well again after being in the hospital due to the stress of my work and mostly because of the stress and problems in my marriage.

Some of you had already known for some time now that my marriage was over and that I would soon be divorcing. It wasn't easy living with someone who truly did not tried his best to make it work here because he was always missing his mother and Turkey.

Of course I understood his unhappiness and I tried my best to make his life easier here, but one can only do so much to help make things better when the other does not even want to try.

Anyway as you can all see I have changed my signature now to being happily divorced soon because the heaviness of this marriage and visa process is finally over for me and I am much better now and looking forward to my new life and have been spending more time with my family and friends now, they are truly the most important people in my life!

Well I wish everyone here much much Love & Happiness and a warm Welcome to all the new couples that have joined "Just Turkish"!!!

GOD Bless Everyone,

Mina

Edited October 3, 2009 by awaterlily

[Jenn and Fuat 2]

Mina, thank you for the message. I know we don't really know each other, but you are in my thoughts. I think you are an incredibly strong, caring person and I am sure there are good things for you ahead.

Erika, thanks for clearing up my confusion on the bank letters and the advice. I will definitely be realistic with him on what to expect when he gets here. We do have a small Turkish community here, and there is a job waiting for him as soon as he can work, so hopefully these two little pluses with help make things a little easier!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone is all doing well and happy!

As for myself, I am sorry for not being here for a long time now being that I had to go through a grieving period in my life and thought it would be best for me to stay away for a while because I needed time to gather my strength and to get well again after being in the hospital due to the stress of my work and mostly because of the stress and problems in my marriage.

Some of you had already known for some time now that my marriage was over and that I would soon be divorcing. It wasn't easy living with someone who truly did not tried his best to make it work here because he was always missing his mother and Turkey.

Of course I understood his unhappiness and I tried my best to make his life easier here, but one can only do so much to help make things better when the other does not even want to try.

Anyway as you can all see I have changed my signature now to being happily divorced soon because the heaviness of this marriage and visa process is finally over for me and I am much better now and looking forward to my new life and have been spending more time with my family and friends now, they are truly the most important people in my life!

Well I wish everyone here much much Love & Happiness and a warm Welcome to all the new couples that have joined "Just Turkish"!!!

GOD Bless Everyone,

Mina

Edited October 3, 2009 by JennandFuat

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I had posted this in another forum, but it was suggested it may be better for me to post this here. Mina, thanks for the suggestion.

Today my Askim asked me a question I am not sure I had the right answer for. He's been a little stressed about all of this lately, even more so than I am, since getting the K1 will mean he's leaving family, his city, his country.. the only life he's ever known.

His question to me : "You know I really want to be with you more than anything, but will things be OK for me there? Will it be better for me there than here?" I told him, "Yes honey, I think it will be." and he said "How?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I told him he'd be able to earn more money to help his family, I thought he would have more opportunities here, after a while he wouldn't have to work as hard as he does now.. and, of course, that we would be together.

Really, I cannot honestly answer this question for him.. I've been to Turkey, but only on short visits.. never lived there for a long period of time. I can only say I feel everything would be OK for him here based on my own experience and I truly do feel he would have more opportunities here.

A little background that may be important.. He's never been out of Turkey, lives with his family and he's the only son. His parents like me, and always treat me like a daughter, but we know they would be happier if he stayed in Turkey and found a nice Turkish girl. Lately, there has been some pressure regarding this. He's currently works as a jewelry salesman in Istanbul. I already know he would be able to work in my company, in an entry level supervisory job, until he was able to find something that he really wants to do. He will have definite work until he knows what it is he really want to do...

We have a small Turkish community in my city, a couple of Turkish restaurants and grocery stores and a few mosques. No Ezan of course..

I know he's feeling torn between his family and me and I hate that I don't know how to ease his worries. I wish he knew other men that had come here, that could tell him.. "this would be better.. this would be worse".. but there really isn't anyone.

My question to those of you that have made this move ( or your spouses).. what can I say to him to help ease his worries?

We know he'll be able to go home, at least a few times a year, to visit his family.. but will things be better for him here? Has it been better for you? Has it been worse? Has it been the same? In reading some of the early posts in this forum, it seems like it has been a difficult adjustment for many.

How should I answer that question?

Hi Jenn,

First - welcome to the Just Turkish!

I am sorry that I am just seeing this message now. I agree with everyone else that there is no sure way of knowing until you live it. I think one of the important things is that the strong desire to start a life together is there, which it sounds like the two of you have. It is hard that he has that pressure from his family. They are probably just scared of losing their only son to another country. If Fuat would like to talk with Onur, send me a PM and I can give you his email/IM name. It might be more helpful for him to talk to someone who has just gone through all of this and who is adjusting to life in America. Onur got here in February, so he hasn't even been here a year yet.

Good luck to both of you!

Julia

[Jenn and Fuat 2]

Hi Jenn,

First - welcome to the Just Turkish!

I am sorry that I am just seeing this message now. I agree with everyone else that there is no sure way of knowing until you live it. I think one of the important things is that the strong desire to start a life together is there, which it sounds like the two of you have. It is hard that he has that pressure from his family. They are probably just scared of losing their only son to another country. If Fuat would like to talk with Onur, send me a PM and I can give you his email/IM name. It might be more helpful for him to talk to someone who has just gone through all of this and who is adjusting to life in America. Onur got here in February, so he hasn't even been here a year yet.

Good luck to both of you!

Julia

Hi Julia, thank you so much!! I will definitely contact you. I am sure Fuat would want to talk to someone who has is making this kind of transition!

Jenn