Just Turkish

[miamiwife 0]

Hi everybody,

I am sorry I have been misssing in action on this forum. I have had a rough time lately. We have been having marriage problems for a long time and I think it is time we thought about ending the marriage. I am not going to Turkey to visit him this summer since it seems like neither one of us knows how to fix our marriage, nor really wants to. We don't have the money, he doesn't have the time, and we will just extend the inevitable, because we are trapped in limbo and are both unhappy. It has just been too much time apart, growing in different directions, not being able to get to know the person 7000 miles away, etc. It is hard to read every day about people getting visas, getting married, and getting pregnant when these are the very things I have dreamed about for so long and now are just not going to happen for me. I have made some good friends on Visajourney, so I will continue to check in to see how everybody is doing from time to time, but I probably won't be throwing my commentary in too much. I wish you all wonderful lives and know that all will fall into place for all of you!

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

I am so sorry to hear this news. Gosh....My heart brakes for you both! Please know you have lots of support here and I only wish the best for you... Please do keep in touch and if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

Hugs

Debbie

Hi everybody,

I am sorry I have been misssing in action on this forum. I have had a rough time lately. We have been having marriage problems for a long time and I think it is time we thought about ending the marriage. I am not going to Turkey to visit him this summer since it seems like neither one of us knows how to fix our marriage, nor really wants to. We don't have the money, he doesn't have the time, and we will just extend the inevitable, because we are trapped in limbo and are both unhappy. It has just been too much time apart, growing in different directions, not being able to get to know the person 7000 miles away, etc. It is hard to read every day about people getting visas, getting married, and getting pregnant when these are the very things I have dreamed about for so long and now are just not going to happen for me. I have made some good friends on Visajourney, so I will continue to check in to see how everybody is doing from time to time, but I probably won't be throwing my commentary in too much. I wish you all wonderful lives and know that all will fall into place for all of you!

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Congratulations Kennyandhandan on the green card

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage....Wishing you both the best.

Handan's green card arrived in the mail today. No more waiting or paperwork until 2011!

Congrats to you two! Wasn't Handan pregnant? I forget with all of these pregnancies going around!

Good memory We, unfortunately, are no longer expecting.

Kennyandhandan I do not want to pry with what that means, but I am sorry Well, hopefully everything all works out

However, congrats on that green card!! Hamit and I just files on the 11th for his. At least now you can rest assured there are only one or two more times you have to deal with USCIS in the next decade or so!

Where is everyone?? I feel so lonely

debresul...how is baby Mehmet? I didn't know camiinistanbul moved to Ca...I am from there...how do you like the people? lol At least, like you said, there is a Turkish community there! Poor Hamit is waiting these lonely months out alone wile I am at work! He is doing well though and studying his English. He had quit smoking before he got here and so cooking has been his obsession now

I wonder if Sibel is ok?

No problem... we're going to keep trying. We had a miscarriage in December.

I was wondering about Sibel too.

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

lol...I am not pregnant....Thank God!

I hope everything works out for Okan...yes, times are sure hard right now. At least he will be out of the house and meeting people. Also it is great to have a Turkish community around you...we dont umm this adjusting time does take a while and even years, can be very difficult. I am sure it helps to have other Turkish people around.

Wishing you all the best.

Debbie

Merhaba everyone.... hope you are all well and that your pregnancies are going smoothly! (is everyone pregnant here!? I feel like a minority!)

We've been in CA for ~6 months now and Okan hasn't been able to find the kind of job he wanted (IT), so we found a local community college and he's enrolling in classes as of next week. I think it will be really good for him to get out, meet more people, and have something concrete to do. We're hoping that through these classes, he'll be able to secure an internship or network into a good company, given some time. He'll probably get some part-time work on the side either on the campus or around our house, but for now, I'm bringing home the bacon! I still feel bad about moving back during this terrible economic time, but I'm positive things will work out in the long run.

We've also gone to some networking events for Turkish people, which were interesting. I haven't been around so many Turks since leaving Turkey, so it was nice to meet new people and for Okan to speak Turkish. It looks like we may not get to go back to Turkey this year to visit, so it's nice to have a little bit of Turkey close to home.

Not much else is going on, just working and trying to adjust to our new life here. I hope you're all having a nice week & take care!

[kennyandhandan 2]

Hi everybody,

I am sorry I have been misssing in action on this forum. I have had a rough time lately. We have been having marriage problems for a long time and I think it is time we thought about ending the marriage. I am not going to Turkey to visit him this summer since it seems like neither one of us knows how to fix our marriage, nor really wants to. We don't have the money, he doesn't have the time, and we will just extend the inevitable, because we are trapped in limbo and are both unhappy. It has just been too much time apart, growing in different directions, not being able to get to know the person 7000 miles away, etc. It is hard to read every day about people getting visas, getting married, and getting pregnant when these are the very things I have dreamed about for so long and now are just not going to happen for me. I have made some good friends on Visajourney, so I will continue to check in to see how everybody is doing from time to time, but I probably won't be throwing my commentary in too much. I wish you all wonderful lives and know that all will fall into place for all of you!

I'm incredibly sorry it's been so difficult for you

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Sibel - You deserve to have everything you have dreamed of and you will, I truly believe that. Everything will fall into place for you. You are wonderful!

Kenny and Handan - Congratulations on the Green Card!

Onur and I finally sent in his AOS packet today. How long did it take all of your spouses to get their work permit?

I am still job hunting and waiting to hear back from a few schools. They are waiting to hear if they will have the funding to hire me! Onur is thinking about going to cosmetology school and training to become a professional hair stylist/cosmetologist. He's looking into the Aveda Institute and a Paul Mitchell School. We'll have to wait until he has his green card so we can apply for financial aid/student loans. Who knows, maybe I will never have to pay for another hair cut again!

[kennyandhandan 2]

Sibel - You deserve to have everything you have dreamed of and you will, I truly believe that. Everything will fall into place for you. You are wonderful!

Kenny and Handan - Congratulations on the Green Card!

Onur and I finally sent in his AOS packet today. How long did it take all of your spouses to get their work permit?

I am still job hunting and waiting to hear back from a few schools. They are waiting to hear if they will have the funding to hire me! Onur is thinking about going to cosmetology school and training to become a professional hair stylist/cosmetologist. He's looking into the Aveda Institute and a Paul Mitchell School. We'll have to wait until he has his green card so we can apply for financial aid/student loans. Who knows, maybe I will never have to pay for another hair cut again!

Good job getting your package sent out. I'd expect a 2-3 month wait for Onur's EAD card. Ours would have been sooner but we got RFE'd on why my wife had a different last name on her passport even though we sent our marriage certificate. We sent the marriage certificate again and they approved it. B)

[tanyakaraman 0]

Wendy? I forgot to ask about you

You must be in either heaven or hell to not write so long...lol

You still in orgasmic bliss after Hawaii or?

Totally off topic: How do we get our guys to wear deodorant regularly? Anyone have luck? I know the norm in America is to wear deodorant almost obsessively, but can we have some middle ground?

I realized today, after being largely unsuccessful in this department, that I often find myself trying to rush home when out together before "this" becomes problematic....lol :rofl:

Haha! I take the direct approach of "Honey...you smell...go put on some deodorant." The first few weeks he was here I would ask him almost everyday after he showered, "Did you put on deodorant?" He has finally gotten into the habit - thank goodness!

Haha this cracked me up! Ppl are definitely less...shall we say aware...of BO in other countries, Turkey included. One of the first things I noticed on my first visit to İstanbul was the smell of Turkish men wafting in the air...very distinctive! I guess its due to all the spices etc. in the food. I try to take the direct approach as well and just say ''Honey you smell like sweat...go take a shower!'' I cant say the problem is completely in the past but we'll get there... someday....

Well we arrived home from Turkey late yesterday. We had a fabulous time but the traveling was very difficult for me...two 12 hour plane rides and two 15 hour bus rides (and a few shorter ones) definitely took their toll and my ankles swelled up for a day or so after each trip. Alanya was beautiful though and we had a really nice time staying for several days in İzmit with his family and 2 days in İstanbul as well. I am glad to be back home tho and I am going to be spending the next few days wading thru the mountains of dirty laundry we brought back with us...

Hope all is well with everyone!!

Tanya

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Wendy? I forgot to ask about you

You must be in either heaven or hell to not write so long...lol

You still in orgasmic bliss after Hawaii or?

Totally off topic: How do we get our guys to wear deodorant regularly? Anyone have luck? I know the norm in America is to wear deodorant almost obsessively, but can we have some middle ground?

I realized today, after being largely unsuccessful in this department, that I often find myself trying to rush home when out together before "this" becomes problematic....lol :rofl:

Haha! I take the direct approach of "Honey...you smell...go put on some deodorant." The first few weeks he was here I would ask him almost everyday after he showered, "Did you put on deodorant?" He has finally gotten into the habit - thank goodness!

Haha this cracked me up! Ppl are definitely less...shall we say aware...of BO in other countries, Turkey included. One of the first things I noticed on my first visit to İstanbul was the smell of Turkish men wafting in the air...very distinctive! I guess its due to all the spices etc. in the food. I try to take the direct approach as well and just say ''Honey you smell like sweat...go take a shower!'' I cant say the problem is completely in the past but we'll get there... someday....

Well we arrived home from Turkey late yesterday. We had a fabulous time but the traveling was very difficult for me...two 12 hour plane rides and two 15 hour bus rides (and a few shorter ones) definitely took their toll and my ankles swelled up for a day or so after each trip. Alanya was beautiful though and we had a really nice time staying for several days in İzmit with his family and 2 days in İstanbul as well. I am glad to be back home tho and I am going to be spending the next few days wading thru the mountains of dirty laundry we brought back with us...

Hope all is well with everyone!!

Tanya

Welcome back Tanya! Glad to hear you had a good trip (sorry to hear about the toll it took on your ankles, though!) I miss Turkey - so does Onur. I hope we'll get the chance to go back soon.

Post some pictures when you get a chance!

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

You always crack me up Tanya as well! Nice to see you back! I know about ankles on trips while pregnant and was surprised at my own several years back! Nice present to come home to (laundry) and yea....still dealing with BO issues (not myself) If i don't remind him every single time, he wont put deodorant on.....grrrrr I don't want to act like his mother...dunno what to do...even warned him when he starts working he can get fired and he retorted with how Americans only use paper to clean themselves (not an unfair comeback)...

Edited July 2, 2009 by ErikaAndHamit

[tanyakaraman 0]

Hi Erika...I know what you mean about not wanting to be like his mother. It is for that reason that I sometimes dont say anything, cause I dont want to be a nag, ya know? It bugs me tho when I take the time to wash and change the sheets and he comes home after a hard day at work and goes to bed with no shower....ugh. Before I know it, they need to be washed again....

Haha, funny you should mention the part about us Americans cleaning ourselves with just paper....my 10 year old son had his first run in with the Turkish toilet while we were there and after one visit to a public WC, he confided to me that he still needed to get to the bathroom at home to clean himself because there was no paper in there. The look on his face was priceless when I explained what the faucet on the wall was for!! Needless to say, we carried some emergency paper with us after that!!

Thanks for the welcome home Julia....I'll post pics from my vacation as soon as I locate the cable for my digital camera so I can transfer the pics to my computer!

I watched the best Turkish movie last night, Güneşi Gördüm (I Saw the Sun) and its on Youtube so I thought I would post a link for anyone interested in watching. Its in Turkish but with English subtitles....made me cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKs707JT1SQ...feature=related

The link is for part 1 of 11...after each part just look for the next one (part 2 of 11, etc.)

Dont forget to have a box of tissues handy!!

Enjoy!

Tanya

[wendya 0]

Wendy? I forgot to ask about you

You must be in either heaven or hell to not write so long...lol

You still in orgasmic bliss after Hawaii or?

Totally off topic: How do we get our guys to wear deodorant regularly? Anyone have luck? I know the norm in America is to wear deodorant almost obsessively, but can we have some middle ground?

I realized today, after being largely unsuccessful in this department, that I often find myself trying to rush home when out together before "this" becomes problematic....lol :rofl:

Hi Erika and Everyone

Wow, it has been long since I last posted. Boy, it has been a roller coaster, with all the thrill, excitement and fear (and some apprehension) included!! Yilmaz and I are adjusting to married life (sometimes I think him better than me). But all in all things are good. I still have not sent in the AOS papers. I was waiting for our Marriage certificate from Hawaii. They had originally said that it could take up to four months to receive!! So of course I paid extra to have it expedited, and low and behold a week after I received the expedited copy, the other arrived!! Boy this process is so expensive. Then of course we were having money issues. I have an old VW convertible bug that I drive on occasion, so until Yilmaz finds a vehicle he can afford, he is using my 2004 VW convertible bug. I had to get the engine overhauled on the older car (cok para!!) and now the back window on the newer car is broken in the down position!! It never ends! I have also been having some issues with my foot. I have a severe pain in the heel. It started before we left for Hawaii and it has continued (you think I would go to the doctor!!). I have it wrapped right now and it is feeling better, but I am limping everywhere! I just want to feel good again!! (and get back to the gym, which is much needed!!)

As for the deodorant issue, when we were dating, he always used deodorant, but I noticed that when he came back, he wasn't. So I bought him some and wrote a note, " spray". He has been pretty good about using it! When he comes home from a hard day of working, I have the washer already filled up, and I have a nice hot bath ready for him. This way I know he will be good and clean and nice smelling.

Sibel - I am so sorry to hear of your frustration and disappointment!! I wish there was more that we could all do to ease your pain!!! Our prayers are with you

Julia - congratulations on your marriage and sending in your AOS papers!!! How is the job search going?

Erika - do you have any pictures to post from you trip? How is everything else going with you guys?

Camistanbul - continued luck on the job searching. What wonderful news of the Turkish community you have found. That should make things more comfortable for Okan.

kenny and handan - Congrats on the Green Card! My prayers are with you for your loss

Hi Debra and Candemir

Tanya - Welcome back home!! I know how hard travel can be for people who are not pregnant (my ankles swell every time I have a long flight - especially when I go to Hawaii!). I hope you can get some much needed rest. (But I know a mother's work is never done and this is hard to do!) So happy to hear you had a wonderful trip! Would love to see pictures. If you are up to it, maybe a weekend soon we can get together for dinner (before you have the baby, when is your due date again?)

Well I am going to try and tackle the AOS papers. (I need to get them sent out soon!!)

Happy 4th of July to Everyone!!!

[tanyakaraman 0]

Hi Wendy! Great to hear from you...I hope your heel is better soon! Yes, I definitely want to do dinner soon. I am not due until September so we have time but my belly is getting so big its starting to restrict my ability to eat very much at the same time, which was a bit frustrating in Turkey when I wanted to put away as much delicious food as I could! I found myself completely stuffed way before I was done tasting things... Do you have any pics from your wedding to share? I bet it was gorgeous!! So it sounds like Yilmaz is working already? Thats awesome!! By the way, I loved your solution to the BO discussion! Who could resist a hot bath ready and waiting? And no need to risk hurt feelings, etc....how perfect!

Well I got around to posting some of the pics from my trip. Here are some from my digital camera. We brought a couple disposable waterproof cameras too that I still need to get developed and ended up taking pics with our phones one day when my camera battery suddenly went dead, but these are most of them

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?...albumId=2792677

Also, there was a photographer at our hotel and he took us to a nearby park one evening and did a little photo shoot with us in the park and on the beach. The pics were cheap...only 5 lira each (no sitting fee)...but Ozzy struck a deal with him and we got all 150 or so pics on disc for only 125 lira! Here are some of the better ones....

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?...albumId=2789120

Tanya

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Beautiful pictures, Tanya! You two are glowing Thanks for sharing them with us!

Wendy - good to hear from you, thanks for the update! Good luck getting the AOS packet off. Hope your foot starts to feel better, that sounds painful!

Edited July 6, 2009 by JULIAFERNO

[internetkafe 0]

Hi Tanyakaraman,

So your husband is from Izmit? I had been living in Izmit before coming to the US.