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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted
I am happy tha Zofran works for you Tanya! Yea. that phenergan makes you so sleepy that I was wondering how you were functioning. When I was pregnant, they told me there wasn't anything to take for nausea; as a result I lost 15lbs the 1st trimester! Ooooh, did I ever gain after the 4th month lol! I had never vomited, but it was because all I ate was salty chips and lemonade as it was THE only thing that kept me from dry heaves. Was it this bad for you with your other pregnancies? What did they do then? Ok maybe I should write you a PM instead :wow::ot2::lol:

I was sick with my other pregnancies too, but I don't remember it ever being this severe. Like you said, there were certain things I could eat or drink....I believe I survived on 711 slurpies for a month or 2 LOL. This time, nothing seems to agree with me. I kinda got discouraged and stopped even trying to eat. I'm just glad my midwife knew about Zofran. Yeah, the phenergan was awful. I only took 2 of the pills and threw the rest away. It made me sleepy and dizzy and didn't really even prevent the nausea.

I am buying our tickets today visa or no visa-I am thinking positive and if I lose my money so be it....I want to be prepared. I should be headed to Ankara on the 15th or 16th!

Way to think positive! :star: I wanna see you two lovebirds come home together!!

We are going to be buying tickets in the near future too. We want to go back for a visit in either April (over spring break) or June. Can't decide which and I don't think we'll be able to afford to do both. Tickets are cheaper in April, but we could stay longer (and go to the beach...and stay at "our" hotel....) if we go in June. Then again, I'll be pretty big by June. I feel like I'm getting big already and I'm only 8 weeks!! Does anyone know what the current airline regulations are regarding flying and pregnant women??

~Tanya

ROC Journey:

01/19/2010 - Mailed ROC paperwork to Vermont Service Center

01/21/2010 - ROC package arrived at VSC

01/26/2010 - Check cashed

01/28/2010 - Received NOA, GC extended for 1 year

02/25/2010 - Biometrics taken

04/23/2010 - Conditions lifted! :)

05/01/2010 - Ten-year GC received...on hubby's birthday! Yay!

MeandOzzy.jpg

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted
This has been on my mind lately:huh:

Is there anything that because of culture was impossible for either you or your SO to understand about each other that caused problems?

Surely there are difficulties for BOTH sides at times as the Non-USC needs to adjust to a new country, marriage, new job, etc. and the USC adjusts being newlywed to someone of a differing culture such as Turkey. What was helpful adjusting? What wasn't? Who had the most issues? Anyone not have any issues? Why?

I will give you some of my concerns and how culture can come into play as much as we love each other :rofl:

1.) In Turkey the men are very protective of their wife and women in their families as you know and normally women are "escorted" everywhere or are never left home alone with say, the plumber, male guest or computer repairman. Not that I ever want to be alone with the repairman (I will be happy for Hamit then as it can be uncomfortable)but, this isn't taboo here in the US. I am worried that he may want to be my "protector" which is fine, and dandy, but not ALL of the time. How do I tell him it isn't "normal" here in the US as the men don't care about their women's safety and honor or comfort..lol

I can see where it could be a problem: I need to run to the store, but he is dead tired, but feels it is his "duty" to escort me there, yet I don't want him to go everywhere with me, nor do I want him to be tired from doing this, although for him it may not be a chore,but for me seen as a a waste of energy or an inconveniance. Guess we will see......

2.) Already, he wants to become the breadwinner and look after me, start a family, which is fine, but this scenario will take YEARS as in plural, not 1 YEAR. He knows how much I earn (quadruple what he will make until he goes to school and/or owns his own business) and he knows what to expect income-wise starting from the bottom, as his electrician experience will be useless and his English needing improvement;when does he take off the rose-colored glasses and how will he deal with the reality? I know men from Turkey feel obligated to be responsible for everything and he is SOOO motivated and determined, but geez....I worry about him...sigh

Anyone else in my boat? Anyone already go through these or similar tales? Please share, especially funny ones!

Your stories can help those of us who don't know what to expect when our SO's arrive from Turkey to a foreign country newlywed.

Well, first I'll share a funny story. Ozzy's 2nd day here, I took him to the beach. He decided to treat me and the kids to lunch and suggested the nearby Hooters restaurant. I know he didn't know what Hooters was LOL and maybe I was bad for not warning him. Well, he couldn't *believe* the way the women were dressed in there. He just kept saying "This would NEVER happen in Turkey". He wouldn't even look at or speak to the waitress...I had to do all the talking. He just looked down at the table. It was very comical, but I thought very sweet also. So different from American men....

As far as escorting me....Ozzy doesn't really do that per se. We always go to the grocery store together, but that's because he is in charge of buying the groceries. We walk arm in arm and I love that. I go plenty of places alone though. I work pretty far from our home and the kids school is pretty far away too so obviously, we make pitstops along the way. If we are cooking or whatever and realize we need something from the store, he always offers to go while I stay home.

As far as money goes, I only expect him to pay what he can afford. Right now, that is one of the utilities, his cell phone bill, and the groceries. I don't even bring up the other bills, although he has asked how much I pay for this and that I tell him. He asks if I have enough and I am honest. He gives me extra money when he has it, but I don't expect that from him. We keep separate bank accounts. He knows how much I make and I know how much he makes but we really don't talk about it much. I guess one thing that has helped is that I have purposely not allowed our cost of living to increase much since he came, so to prevent any "uncomfortable issues" regarding money. When we both finish school and he is more "adjusted" (although don't get me wrong, i think he has adjusted marvelously in the past 1.5 years), then we will talk about sharing finances, etc. It's good to just be open and honest and let him know if his expectations are unrealistic....and then be there for him when he realizes how difficult it can be here.

ROC Journey:

01/19/2010 - Mailed ROC paperwork to Vermont Service Center

01/21/2010 - ROC package arrived at VSC

01/26/2010 - Check cashed

01/28/2010 - Received NOA, GC extended for 1 year

02/25/2010 - Biometrics taken

04/23/2010 - Conditions lifted! :)

05/01/2010 - Ten-year GC received...on hubby's birthday! Yay!

MeandOzzy.jpg

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted

Sorry, I got interrupted there....

I will say one...possibly the only....issue we've had is regarding children and respect. In Turkey, children are extremely respectful to their elders. When we visit Ozzy's sister, his neice and nephew wait on him hand and foot. He tells them to bring him this or bring him that, and they scurry off to get it for him. Things are very different here, to say the least. He tells my kids to bring him something and they look at him like they want to ask which one of his legs is broken (and sometimes they do ask LOL)! Or they will argue with him about something. He wasn't used to that. It's getting better now I think, as I guess everyone has gotten used to each other and what the expectations are but it was kind of an issue at first.

Well I am writing a book here! And I haven't even started my laundry yet ugh! Hope some of that was helpful....

~Tanya

ROC Journey:

01/19/2010 - Mailed ROC paperwork to Vermont Service Center

01/21/2010 - ROC package arrived at VSC

01/26/2010 - Check cashed

01/28/2010 - Received NOA, GC extended for 1 year

02/25/2010 - Biometrics taken

04/23/2010 - Conditions lifted! :)

05/01/2010 - Ten-year GC received...on hubby's birthday! Yay!

MeandOzzy.jpg

Filed: Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted
Sorry, I got interrupted there....

I will say one...possibly the only....issue we've had is regarding children and respect. In Turkey, children are extremely respectful to their elders. When we visit Ozzy's sister, his neice and nephew wait on him hand and foot. He tells them to bring him this or bring him that, and they scurry off to get it for him. Things are very different here, to say the least. He tells my kids to bring him something and they look at him like they want to ask which one of his legs is broken (and sometimes they do ask LOL)! Or they will argue with him about something. He wasn't used to that. It's getting better now I think, as I guess everyone has gotten used to each other and what the expectations are but it was kind of an issue at first.

Well I am writing a book here! And I haven't even started my laundry yet ugh! Hope some of that was helpful....

~Tanya

Tanya that is sooo very funny what you said about your kids asking him which one of his legs is broken! :jest:

I am the same way with Coskun whenever he asks for something that is within his reach and I am 10 feet away! <_<

Really now, some of these men are such spoiled "mama's boys" and we wives have to teach them better! :bonk:

1803363hy9lzatt1e.gif avatar_ani_050.gifSOON TO BE HAPPILY DIVORCED! avatar_ani_052.gif 1803363hy9lzatt1e.gif

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted (edited)

LOL...sounds like he's getting an awakening to the American experience. LOL

Sorry, I got interrupted there....

I will say one...possibly the only....issue we've had is regarding children and respect. In Turkey, children are extremely respectful to their elders. When we visit Ozzy's sister, his neice and nephew wait on him hand and foot. He tells them to bring him this or bring him that, and they scurry off to get it for him. Things are very different here, to say the least. He tells my kids to bring him something and they look at him like they want to ask which one of his legs is broken (and sometimes they do ask LOL)! Or they will argue with him about something. He wasn't used to that. It's getting better now I think, as I guess everyone has gotten used to each other and what the expectations are but it was kind of an issue at first.

Well I am writing a book here! And I haven't even started my laundry yet ugh! Hope some of that was helpful....

~Tanya

Edited by awaterlily
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted

Tanya--so funny! I loved that story about Hooters! I always imagine what a shock Miami Beach is going to be for my husband from the beaches of Turkey. I am always shocked by what people are wearing here, and I am from here!

Visa Journey:

Marriage: July 6, 2007

I-130 Sent: August 7, 2007

NOA1: September 24, 2007

I-129F Sent: September 25, 2007

NOA1: October 9, 2007

NOA2: March 7, 2008

Packet 3: March 28, 2008

Interview: June 24, 2008

AP: June 24, 2008

10 months in AP--will this ever end?

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted

Tanya - the Hooters story made me smile...and cringe! Poor Ozzy! I can't believe you didn't warn him! :o

I think Onur and I will be very similar in terms of finances at first. He is bringing some money with him for getting settled and until he is able to work, and it will definitely be enough for him to cover the extra cost of food, his own cell phone bill, and any other things that he may want to buy/do (basically anything that him being here adds to my cost of living that I am not already paying for myself, so it's really not that much). He already wants to take me out to a belated valentine's day dinner when he gets here. He says he is going to research restaurants online before he comes :) Luckily I have GPS in my car, so if he has the address, he just might be able to find it without my help.

I called the BMV and Highway Patrol and apparently all he needs to drive in Ohio as a foreign visitor is a legitimate visitor's visa and his Turkish driver's license, although they said it would be helpful if he had an international driver's permit (which is basically just a translation of his Turkish license). He is having his high school diploma translated into English, bringing his police certificates and birth certificate with translations and any other paperwork we submitted throughout the visa process. Is there anything else he should bring?

shoes-1.jpg

tt3083899fltt.gif

AOS Timeline:

- 06/30/2009: Filed for AOS/EAD/AP

- 07/02/2009: AOS packet received

- 07/08/2009: Check cashed

- 07/10/2009: Received all 3 NOA1s

- 07/14/2009: Received biometrics appt.

- 07/29/2009: Case transferred to CSC

- 08/01/2009: Advanced Parole Documents Issued

- 08/06/2009: Biometrics appointment completed

- 08/11/2009: EAD issued (received 8/14)

- 11/12/2009: AOS approved

- 11/20/2009: Green Card in hand!

* Complete timeline in profile under "Signature and Story"

Posted

Hoomfuturewife --

You should be able to find most things you'd want in America in Istanbul at a large Migros (MMM Migros) or large

Carrefour markets. I know even the supermarket in Cevahir (in Sisli) has bacon and lots of other foreign goodies

like tacos and whatnot. If you're looking for something in particular, I think the only thing I had a difficult time

finding in Istanbul was fresh cilantro. My husband was interested in making sushi, so we even found a Japanese

mini-market in Etiler, so really... you can find pretty much everything you'd need if you know where to look! You

can also find a lot of foreign foods in the Macrocenters in Akmerkez and Kanyon shopping centers. :)

Good luck!

Our Timeline

DCF - I-130

4/10/08 - Married in Istanbul!

5/14/08 - Sent I-130 to Ankara via UPS

5/15/08 - Packet arrived in Ankara at US Embassy

6/2/08 - Received email from Embassy, our interview is schedule for 8/11/08

8/11/08 - Interview at US Embassy in Ankara, I-130 APPROVED!!!!!!

8/13/08 - Visa RECEIVED.....

11/7/08 - Flew from Istanbul to Denver (via JFK)

11/21/08 - SSN received in mail

12/18/08 - Green Card received!!!

I-751 (lifting conditions)

8/10/10 - Sent to California Processing Center

8/20/10 - Received AOS letter

8/26/10 - NOA received biometrics appointment notification

9/16/10 - Biometrics Appointment in San Francisco

10/7/10 - Approved!

Citizenship

1/24/12 - Date filed

5/30/12 - Oath Ceremony!!!!

Adios, USCIS!

Filed: Country: Iran
Timeline
Posted
Hoomfuturewife --

You should be able to find most things you'd want in America in Istanbul at a large Migros (MMM Migros) or large

Carrefour markets. I know even the supermarket in Cevahir (in Sisli) has bacon and lots of other foreign goodies

like tacos and whatnot. If you're looking for something in particular, I think the only thing I had a difficult time

finding in Istanbul was fresh cilantro. My husband was interested in making sushi, so we even found a Japanese

mini-market in Etiler, so really... you can find pretty much everything you'd need if you know where to look! You

can also find a lot of foreign foods in the Macrocenters in Akmerkez and Kanyon shopping centers. :)

Good luck!

That's the problem. I don't know where to go. I've only been here since the end of December. I'm going to have to go to one of those expat meetings organized by a FB group I've found and hit them up on where to go. I live in the Bakirkoy section of Istanbul. I've been to several different Migros stores and to the Carrefour that is next to Bauhaus but the only American products I've seen are Peter Pan Peanut-butter (at 8 lira a jar! wow.), cereal, sodas and granola bars. After a lengthy treasure hunt I finally found a Migros that sells basil but it is cut basil. They don't sell the whole basil plants or the dried basil. Will have to visit a plant store sometime to check there.

There's no way I'm going back to Dubai just for the variety of foreign products (I'm really missing the Indian food though I did find some kind of curry sauce the other day.) in the supermarkets but I find the supply/variety of foreign goods lacking here in Turkey. I will adjust and gradually learn to make Turkish meals. I went through the same in Norway. They are also very protectionist and have similar import laws that make foreign products limited and very expensive. It will be easier for me here though since Turkish food isn't as bland as Scandinavian food and there are loads of German products at least that I am familiar with from when I lived in Germany. Oddly the greatest variety of spices I've found is at the Grand Bazaar that caters to tourists. They sell so many teas, spices and other things that they market as being traditionally Turkish but if you go to any Turkish market you won't find any of those things. :lol: Hmmm, that's a great idea. Off to pester the Hubster about going to the Bazaar to bargain for those hard to find spices today. :dance:

Posted

I was sick with my other pregnancies too, but I don't remember it ever being this severe. Like you said, there were certain things I could eat or drink....I believe I survived on 711 slurpies for a month or 2 LOL. This time, nothing seems to agree with me. I kinda got discouraged and stopped even trying to eat. I'm just glad my midwife knew about Zofran. Yeah, the phenergan was awful. I only took 2 of the pills and threw the rest away. It made me sleepy and dizzy and didn't really even prevent the nausea.

Way to think positive! :star: I wanna see you two lovebirds come home together!!

We are going to be buying tickets in the near future too. We want to go back for a visit in either April (over spring break) or June. Can't decide which and I don't think we'll be able to afford to do both. Tickets are cheaper in April, but we could stay longer (and go to the beach...and stay at "our" hotel....) if we go in June. Then again, I'll be pretty big by June. I feel like I'm getting big already and I'm only 8 weeks!! Does anyone know what the current airline regulations are regarding flying and pregnant women??

~Tanya

There really aren't any "official" restricions, but some require you to have a doctor's note in the 3rd trimester (as if they would give one to you...lol) if you TELL them you are in your 3rd trimester, but anyway you will be in your 4th month in April and your 6th month in June??

This SHOULD be safe if you don't have any issues with your pregnancy. I would go in April though when you should be feeling better and not very big and the weather is nice, but I am not you...lol Did you even ask me? :bonk::lol:

On a positive note: I once read that Turkey's mortality rate for newborns in Turkish hospitals are surprisingly high from nosocomial infections.

Just think ahead and you should be ok-I'd be afraid that my placenta would fall apart in some village in an area of bumfreeked Turkey ...jk...my sense of humor is so dark....sorry lol

I am just so happy you can eat now! How are you coping with work? Are your kids excited?

Here's one website that is helpful:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_airline-polici...avelers_6976.bc

389672_3802055654913_1108709116_n.jpg
Posted

And thanks for your advice Tanya-well done! That's funny about the kids-I have 3 also and wow is he in or a surprise how I interact with my children! I am like a big kid myself and I joke with them and talk to them about EVERYTHING and vice-versa-not formal at all except when needed. They get me stuff, but not without some whining sometimes. I am afraid they may get jealous of the attention I give Hamit until they get to know him. How did your kids rect? Probably well since they are somewhat young?

389672_3802055654913_1108709116_n.jpg
Posted (edited)

OMG I have a funny, embarrassing, surprising and risque story to share :lol: Please don't get mad if it's TMI-if you're sensitve to bodily fluids......DO NOT READ any further :lol:

Ok....here goes a slice of culture shock.....

When I went to Turkey last year on one of our visits and my aunt Flo decided to show up mid-deed, he thought I was injured and he was very worried and insisted on my being "inspected" downstairs. A few moments later he says: "oh, it's ok, no problem" as in "no serious injuries"...lol :rofl:

I then ran for our English-Turkish dictionary and pointed to the word "menstruation" and he nodded as if he knew to save face, but then had the most confused look on his face I started laughing. I still wonder what else "menstruation" could mean in Turkish? :lol:

I tried to show him tampons and pads-he says "wow big" to the cardboard applicator type I handed him did he think it was a "toy"?...... he shrugs when I whip out the pads and is now looking thoroughly perplexed and anxious-maybe he thought in addition to his fiancee having something terribly wrong with her-I had a #######?

Now I was grasping at strings...."you know: 5 days???!! All women have this problem every month?...if no come this kirmizi normal then bebek come" yes I used broken kindergarten English for easier understanding :rofl:

He still doesnt know and I am running out of ideas, but I was DETERMINED to give him a crash course on the birds and the beesif we were to ever work out and he not think I was a freak.....

Again in broken juvenile English: "Mother/father no tell how pee-pee work? No tell how bebek come? Tashak you know what for? Woman every month cok kirmizi come?" He still says no-I look up several fertility related vocabulary...nope. I am thinking wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the US and Turkey are VERY different.

Now I try meataphors and humor: "yumurta" (egg)...later this bebek if man woman do sport and no "jordan" use (condom as he prounounced it) aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh understood

He says: "In Turkey family no speak this topic." He did, however know what and where sperm do/are. It took about an hour before I made it clear I wasn't a born again virgin or injured or in urgent need to see a doctor! :wow::rofl:

He is now well-educated on the birds and the bees...flowers....trees

Edited by ErikaAndHamit
389672_3802055654913_1108709116_n.jpg
Posted
OMG I have a funny, embarrassing, surprising and risque story to share :lol: Please don't get mad if it's TMI-if you're sensitve to bodily fluids......DO NOT READ any further :lol:

Ok....here goes a slice of culture shock.....

When I went to Turkey last year on one of our visits and my aunt Flo decided to show up mid-deed, he thought I was injured and he was very worried and insisted on my being "inspected" downstairs. A few moments later he says: "oh, it's ok, no problem" as in "no serious injuries"...lol :rofl:

I then ran for our English-Turkish dictionary and pointed to the word "menstruation" and he nodded as if he knew to save face, but then had the most confused look on his face I started laughing. I still wonder what else "menstruation" could mean in Turkish? :lol:

I tried to show him tampons and pads-he says "wow big" to the cardboard applicator type I handed him did he think it was a "toy"?...... he shrugs when I whip out the pads and is now looking thoroughly perplexed and anxious-maybe he thought in addition to his fiancee having something terribly wrong with her-I had a #######?

Now I was grasping at strings...."you know: 5 days???!! All women have this problem every month?...if no come this kirmizi normal then bebek come" yes I used broken kindergarten English for easier understanding :rofl:

He still doesnt know and I am running out of ideas, but I was DETERMINED to give him a crash course on the birds and the beesif we were to ever work out and he not think I was a freak.....

Again in broken juvenile English: "Mother/father no tell how pee-pee work? No tell how bebek come? Tashak you know what for? Woman every month cok kirmizi come?" He still says no-I look up several fertility related vocabulary...nope. I am thinking wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the US and Turkey are VERY different.

Now I try meataphors and humor: "yumurta" (egg)...later this bebek if man woman do sport and no "jordan" use (condom as he prounounced it) aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh understood

He says: "In Turkey family no speak this topic." He did, however know what and where sperm do/are. It took about an hour before I made it clear I wasn't a born again virgin or injured or in urgent need to see a doctor! :wow::rofl:

He is now well-educated on the birds and the bees...flowers....trees

This is actually really sad to me. I know you wrote this as a kind of funny topic, but it's just sad since I know so many Turkish

girls who have had multiple abortions and I have had to literally search for tampons in Istanbul (it's easier now than when

I first lived there)... because everyone associates tampons with loose women. Ugh. :-( Sex ed is certainly a sorry topic there....

*sigh*

Our Timeline

DCF - I-130

4/10/08 - Married in Istanbul!

5/14/08 - Sent I-130 to Ankara via UPS

5/15/08 - Packet arrived in Ankara at US Embassy

6/2/08 - Received email from Embassy, our interview is schedule for 8/11/08

8/11/08 - Interview at US Embassy in Ankara, I-130 APPROVED!!!!!!

8/13/08 - Visa RECEIVED.....

11/7/08 - Flew from Istanbul to Denver (via JFK)

11/21/08 - SSN received in mail

12/18/08 - Green Card received!!!

I-751 (lifting conditions)

8/10/10 - Sent to California Processing Center

8/20/10 - Received AOS letter

8/26/10 - NOA received biometrics appointment notification

9/16/10 - Biometrics Appointment in San Francisco

10/7/10 - Approved!

Citizenship

1/24/12 - Date filed

5/30/12 - Oath Ceremony!!!!

Adios, USCIS!

Filed: Country: Iran
Timeline
Posted
I have had to literally search for tampons in Istanbul (it's easier now than when

I first lived there)... because everyone associates tampons with loose women. Ugh. :-( Sex ed is certainly a sorry topic there....

*sigh*

:huh:

Tampons = loose women

:blink:

Why do they figure that? Weird. I was thinking Turks were a little more advanced than Arabs. I've noticed it is much easier to find pads than tampons though.

Filed: Country: Turkey
Timeline
Posted
I have had to literally search for tampons in Istanbul (it's easier now than when

I first lived there)... because everyone associates tampons with loose women. Ugh. :-( Sex ed is certainly a sorry topic there....

*sigh*

:huh:

Tampons = loose women

:blink:

Why do they figure that? Weird. I was thinking Turks were a little more advanced than Arabs. I've noticed it is much easier to find pads than tampons though.

Yes, I have to agree with cami on how Sex ed is a sorry topic there!

I also had my monthly friend come during one of my visits to Turkey to see my husband (when we were first engaged) and whispered to him that I just got my period. So we go out to pick up some products and as soon as we get to the checkout point he tries to hide the package and after the cashier ring it up and he then quickly bags it so no one sees it, geez!

Even in a casual conversation, when asking about a pregnant friend's sex of the baby will make him react and say "don't say sex in public!" Ohhh pleaseee!

Yet, it's ok for women to go topless at their beach resorts like the one in Bodrum, Turkey!!! sorry, but there is way too many hypocritical double standards if you ask me! <_<

1803363hy9lzatt1e.gif avatar_ani_050.gifSOON TO BE HAPPILY DIVORCED! avatar_ani_052.gif 1803363hy9lzatt1e.gif

 
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