Just Turkish

[Mina76 0]

Good to see you back, Mina! Thanks for touching base. You know that we are all here to support you, no matter what. Thanks for the congrats! It all seems a bit surreal still that Onur will be here very soon...for the first time in this visa process I feel crunched for time

Don't be a stranger!

Dear Julia, Your time finally came and I am sure you have so much to do before Onur comes home to you. I will be so looking forward to reading about his arrival to the states and your soon happy reunion!

[Mina76 0]

Take care Mina Wishing you both the best.....

We both know how difficult this immigration journey can be....Adjusting, missing home and family, religious issues, children from previous marriage, culture issues, seperation and the list goes on and on. For some the change my not be hard at all but for others it can cause huge problems. People don't talk about them much in the forum but.....they are very real.

It's hard and very sad....

You have so much support here. Also you have my phone number, call me anytime you want to talk.

Hugs my friend

Debbie

Hi Debra, Yes we both have been through a lot since the start of our husbands visa process to the time that they had arrived to the US and we tried our best to help ease them into adjusting to their new home. I sent you a message yesterday being that I had changed my number recently, hope to talk to you soon.

[Mina76 0]

Mina, so sorry to hear that you've been through a rough time. I hope that you're able to resolve it and if you ever need to chat, please feel free to drop me a line! It's hard to talk about adjusting and real life after everything is supposed to be normal, and not many people understand how difficult it can be and what a HUGE thing couples go through to accomplish all of this.

A little update on us:

My husband and I have settled into our new apartment in the Bay Area and now the journey to find him a job begins. What a nightmare. When we were in Turkey, first planning our wedding and getting ready to apply for his visa, the possibility that the American economy would be so bad was not on our radar. It wasn't until we were approved and ready to go that things started to really look bad. Anyway, my husband is taking it in stride and even though I know it's killing him not to work, I'm not pushing him to do something he doesn't want to do. He wants to be in the IT industry (and worked in IT in Istanbul) so that's what his aim is.

I keep telling him (and myself!) that we've only been here for 2 weeks, so we both need to be patient and chill out. We've spent the last 6 months unemployed with his family in Turkey and my family in the US, so it just seems like now there's a lot of pressure on us. Thankfully, my job will start next week and hopefully, that will ease the strain! It will also mean I leave my hubby alone to explore the neighborhood on his own, which he has been hesitant about so far. I'm kind of excited to see him get out there and start to feel more comfortable, since this is our new home.

Anyway, I'm still popping by here, but just haven't had much to report. I hope you're all doing well and congrats to everyone these days... seems like a lot of movement is happening on visas.

Hi cami, Thank you for your understanding as well as everyone else here too about my situation, not too many people including my work friends understand the reason for my husband's leaving to care for his mother and all the sacrifice we make to bring our spouses to the US. I hope and wish your husband much luck and success in finding his job soon and hope his adjustment here in the states will be an easy one.

[Mina76 0]

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

welcome back, Mina! We missed you.

So sorry to hear the seperation put a strain on your marriage. I hope you and your husband find a way to work through it.

Have Faith in G*D.

Love Is Strong

**Congrats to all - lots of activity here lately - baby, recent approvals, etc!!**

Hello awaterlily, Thank you for the warm welcome and I also miss being here and seeing everyone too.

[JULIAFERNO 0]

When I was living in Turkey I watched the shows Menekse ile Halil (drama/romance), Avrupa Yakasi (comedy), Elveda Rumelli (about a family living in Ottoman times), and Kavak Yelleri (drama/romance) with Onur...

So you lived in Turkey...for how long? Hoom and I came to Istanbul-Avrupa just to get married but when we saw how much cheaper the apartments are here compared to Dubai we decided to stay here until he can get his greencard. How did you handle the cooking situation? Due to Turkey's protectionism I'm finding it difficult to find a range of foreign products that I'm familiar with. I haven't started a language class so if I bought a Turkish cookbook in Turkish it would be difficult to translate each recipe. It's easy to find German products and a limited number of Swedish products if you go to IKEA but it's not so easy to find Mexican, Asian, American or European goods. Did you ever find any foreign market that sells lots of American & other foreign products?

I lived in Turkey for 5 months - Istanbul for a month and Kirikkale, about an hour outside of Ankara for the other 4. Most of my cooking I did with common foods you can find anywhere - rice, cous-cous, pasta, potatoes, vegetables, fruit, beans, chicken, beef, eggs, cheese, etc. I also learned a lot from my fiance. There weren't any foreign markets in Kirikkale, but I'm sure you could find some in Istanbul. Try visiting the site www.mymerhaba.com and asking around on the forums there. Here's a link to a Turkish recipe website that I like a lot - everything is in English. http://www.turkishcookbook.com/ I just made lahana sarmasi (rolled cabbage leaves) and biber dolmasi (stuffed peppers) the other week and they turned out pretty good. Turks have a spice that is a lot like the spice we use to season taco meat...not sure what it is called though. You can find soft tortilla shells/wraps in some stores (try Migros) and you can always make your own salsa. You can make pretty much anything from scratch. I couldn't find brown sugar to bake cookies...but I made my own w/ white sugar and a little molasses - worked great!

[Mina76 0]

Erika & Wendy, so happy to hear you have interview dates now! Exciting stuff!!

Mina, I think what you're going through is completely natural...I'd have felt the same way if my hubby had been away from me for so long. I hope you can work through it though! My thoughts are with you.

As for me, I have been soooo sick (so much for all that energy I had just a couple weeks ago!). I ended up in the hospital all dehydrated on Sunday because I haven't been able to keep anything down. It's getting a little better now, and Ozzy is being so sweet taking over responsibilities for me, but I really hope this morning/all day/all night sickness is over soon....I don't know how much more I can take!

~Tanya

Hi Tanya, How are you holding up? Hope you feel better soon and that the morning sickness soon subside.

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

I lived in Turkey for 5 months - Istanbul for a month and Kirikkale, about an hour outside of Ankara for the other 4. Most of my cooking I did with common foods you can find anywhere - rice, cous-cous, pasta, potatoes, vegetables, fruit, beans, chicken, beef, eggs, cheese, etc. I also learned a lot from my fiance. There weren't any foreign markets in Kirikkale, but I'm sure you could find some in Istanbul. Try visiting the site www.mymerhaba.com and asking around on the forums there. Here's a link to a Turkish recipe website that I like a lot - everything is in English. http://www.turkishcookbook.com/ I just made lahana sarmasi (rolled cabbage leaves) and biber dolmasi (stuffed peppers) the other week and they turned out pretty good. Turks have a spice that is a lot like the spice we use to season taco meat...not sure what it is called though. You can find soft tortilla shells/wraps in some stores (try Migros) and you can always make your own salsa. You can make pretty much anything from scratch. I couldn't find brown sugar to bake cookies...but I made my own w/ white sugar and a little molasses - worked great!

Thanks for the links. I'll definitely check out that recipe website. Are they authentic recipes or the Americanized versions? The good thing about Turkey is i'm forced to use more fresh produce and make proper meals from scratch instead of relying on pre-packaged #######. However, more than anything I want to find maple syrup for the Hubster. I bought some Eggos and maple syrup when we lived in Dubai and he got addicted. I've found waffle makers here so I could make some home-made ones using a Norwegian recipe I have, but I can't find any syrup here. Poor Hoom. He might have to wait a year to have proper waffles. Me, i'm fine just making a pit-stop at the bakery to pick up some baklava, yummy. I don't know why he likes waffles with syrup so much better than baklava which is originally a Persian invention. He says he'd be fine having waffles and pizza every day but I'd like a little more variety.

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I lived in Turkey for 5 months - Istanbul for a month and Kirikkale, about an hour outside of Ankara for the other 4. Most of my cooking I did with common foods you can find anywhere - rice, cous-cous, pasta, potatoes, vegetables, fruit, beans, chicken, beef, eggs, cheese, etc. I also learned a lot from my fiance. There weren't any foreign markets in Kirikkale, but I'm sure you could find some in Istanbul. Try visiting the site www.mymerhaba.com and asking around on the forums there. Here's a link to a Turkish recipe website that I like a lot - everything is in English. http://www.turkishcookbook.com/ I just made lahana sarmasi (rolled cabbage leaves) and biber dolmasi (stuffed peppers) the other week and they turned out pretty good. Turks have a spice that is a lot like the spice we use to season taco meat...not sure what it is called though. You can find soft tortilla shells/wraps in some stores (try Migros) and you can always make your own salsa. You can make pretty much anything from scratch. I couldn't find brown sugar to bake cookies...but I made my own w/ white sugar and a little molasses - worked great!

Thanks for the links. I'll definitely check out that recipe website. Are they authentic recipes or the Americanized versions? The good thing about Turkey is i'm forced to use more fresh produce and make proper meals from scratch instead of relying on pre-packaged #######. However, more than anything I want to find maple syrup for the Hubster. I bought some Eggos and maple syrup when we lived in Dubai and he got addicted. I've found waffle makers here so I could make some home-made ones using a Norwegian recipe I have, but I can't find any syrup here. Poor Hoom. He might have to wait a year to have proper waffles. Me, i'm fine just making a pit-stop at the bakery to pick up some baklava, yummy. I don't know why he likes waffles with syrup so much better than baklava which is originally a Persian invention. He says he'd be fine having waffles and pizza every day but I'd like a little more variety.

I think they are pretty authentic as the owner of the site is a Turkish woman who now lives in the States. Everything is pretty much made from scratch and pretty easy to find in Turkey. I couldn't find maple syrup in Turkey either - don't think they sell it there. Wonder if you could order it online? I think there is some sort of concentrated version that you add water to or something of the sort. When I made french toast, I would boil down fruit with sugar (berries, bananas, etc.) to add as a topping...but still nothing like maple syrup! I introduced Onur to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I found peanut butter at Migros - he had never had it before! He loves PB&J now and would always ask me to make my "special snack"

[Mina76 0]

Oh BTW, something I've been meaning to post....for the enjoyment of everyone who didn't already know about it (I had certainly never heard of it before Ozzy showed me), especially those with loved ones who are newly here in the US or soon to be arriving:

http://www.fulldizi.com/

Click the dropdown menu under "kategoriler" and there are lots of shows to choose from that you can watch online...many are in Turkish and some are in English with Turkish subtitles. Ozzy and I love to relax with his laptop and watch some of these together. Watching the Turkish ones, I can still get the main gyst of things and he translates the important parts, plus it helps me learn. The English ones with the Turkish subtitles are also great because we can both relax and enjoy and get the humor and everything without having to stop and explain to each other

Our personal favorites are Son Aga (a Turkish soap - sort of) and How I Met Your Mother...oh and Kurtlar Vadisi.

We also find lots of old Turkish movies posted on YouTube...Sekerpare, Cicek Abbas, etc.

Anyway, enjoy!

~Tanya

Awesome, Tanya! Thanks! I know Onur will love to watch his Turkish shows when he is here in the U.S....IN 2 WEEKS!

He received his visa in the mail yesterday! Just one week after he sent in his passport and new medical. He is planning on arriving in the U.S. on Feb. 27th but hasn't bought the ticket yet. I am sooo excited!

YAY!! I'm so excited for you two!!

Don't things seem to be moving all so fast now?? After all those months of waiting and wondering...

I hope he has a safe journey here and an easy adjustment to life in the US! Keep us updated!!

Tanya this looks like the same site that my husband gets to watch his favorite turkish TV comedies and movies if I am not mistaken. This will be great for when Julia and Wendy's men come to the states and get homesick for their Turkish TV programs!

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Adjusting......Who said it would be easy? LOL......yep, we know how difficult it is, thats for sure.

I did get your message and phone number on my messenger, thank you. I was so happy to see you post

Was worried about you.....

Talk to you soon.

debbie

Take care Mina Wishing you both the best.....

We both know how difficult this immigration journey can be....Adjusting, missing home and family, religious issues, children from previous marriage, culture issues, seperation and the list goes on and on. For some the change my not be hard at all but for others it can cause huge problems. People don't talk about them much in the forum but.....they are very real.

It's hard and very sad....

You have so much support here. Also you have my phone number, call me anytime you want to talk.

Hugs my friend

Debbie

Hi Debra, Yes we both have been through a lot since the start of our husbands visa process to the time that they had arrived to the US and we tried our best to help ease them into adjusting to their new home. I sent you a message yesterday being that I had changed my number recently, hope to talk to you soon.

[tanyakaraman 0]

I introduced Onur to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I found peanut butter at Migros - he had never had it before! He loves PB&J now and would always ask me to make my "special snack"

Funny thing, Ozzy's family *loves* peanut butter too, and its difficult if not impossible for them to buy in the cities where they live. Every time we go to visit, we bring his mother and sister huge jars of it as a gift. They serve it as a special spread with breakfast. Maybe sometime I'll have to introduce them to PB&J

I personally think the Turkish hazelnut butter is more delicious (mmmm...I could sit down with a spoon and eat a whole jar of it!), but I guess that's just because its not "commonplace" to me.

[tanyakaraman 0]

Erika & Wendy, so happy to hear you have interview dates now! Exciting stuff!!

Mina, I think what you're going through is completely natural...I'd have felt the same way if my hubby had been away from me for so long. I hope you can work through it though! My thoughts are with you.

As for me, I have been soooo sick (so much for all that energy I had just a couple weeks ago!). I ended up in the hospital all dehydrated on Sunday because I haven't been able to keep anything down. It's getting a little better now, and Ozzy is being so sweet taking over responsibilities for me, but I really hope this morning/all day/all night sickness is over soon....I don't know how much more I can take!

~Tanya

Hi Tanya, How are you holding up? Hope you feel better soon and that the morning sickness soon subside.

Thanks Mina. I am feeling much better now. My midwife prescribed me this stuff (Zofran) that they apparently use for chemotherapy patients with nausea. It's safe for pregnancy and helps me feel better immediately. At my OB appointment yesterday, I found that I had lost 8 lbs this past week!

We had a big Turkish style breakfast this morning and it felt sooo nice to be able to eat again (and keep it down)!!!!

Happy Valentines Day everyone!!!

Tanya

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I am happy tha Zofran works for you Tanya! Yea. that phenergan makes you so sleepy that I was wondering how you were functioning. When I was pregnant, they told me there wasn't anything to take for nausea; as a result I lost 15lbs the 1st trimester! Ooooh, did I ever gain after the 4th month lol! I had never vomited, but it was because all I ate was salty chips and lemonade as it was THE only thing that kept me from dry heaves. Was it this bad for you with your other pregnancies? What did they do then? Ok maybe I should write you a PM instead

On a different note...I am happy you are back Mina! Yes, you are the leader. You were my welcoming comittee when I first joined (as you are for most newcomers here) and you started this thread. Is everything going in a positive direction for you now insallah?

How is the diet going Wendy? I think I lost like 3-5 lbs already! Did Yilmaz buy tickets yet? I am buying our tickets today visa or no visa-I am thinking positive and if I lose my money so be it....I want to be prepared. I should be headed to Ankara on the 15th or 16th!

I am soooo happy for Julia and Onur! The 27th is going to be one happy day

Happy Valentines Day everyone!!!

[Mina76 0]

I am so glad to hear you are feeling much better now Tanya!

Well, I want to wish everyone here a special.........

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

May everyone's life be filled with so much Love & Happiness forever

Edited February 14, 2009 by Mina76

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

This has been on my mind lately:huh:

Is there anything that because of culture was impossible for either you or your SO to understand about each other that caused problems?

Surely there are difficulties for BOTH sides at times as the Non-USC needs to adjust to a new country, marriage, new job, etc. and the USC adjusts being newlywed to someone of a differing culture such as Turkey. What was helpful adjusting? What wasn't? Who had the most issues? Anyone not have any issues? Why?

I will give you some of my concerns and how culture can come into play as much as we love each other

1.) In Turkey the men are very protective of their wife and women in their families as you know and normally women are "escorted" everywhere or are never left home alone with say, the plumber, male guest or computer repairman. Not that I ever want to be alone with the repairman (I will be happy for Hamit then as it can be uncomfortable)but, this isn't taboo here in the US. I am worried that he may want to be my "protector" which is fine, and dandy, but not ALL of the time. How do I tell him it isn't "normal" here in the US as the men don't care about their women's safety and honor or comfort..lol

I can see where it could be a problem: I need to run to the store, but he is dead tired, but feels it is his "duty" to escort me there, yet I don't want him to go everywhere with me, nor do I want him to be tired from doing this, although for him it may not be a chore,but for me seen as a a waste of energy or an inconveniance. Guess we will see......

2.) Already, he wants to become the breadwinner and look after me, start a family, which is fine, but this scenario will take YEARS as in plural, not 1 YEAR. He knows how much I earn (quadruple what he will make until he goes to school and/or owns his own business) and he knows what to expect income-wise starting from the bottom, as his electrician experience will be useless and his English needing improvement;when does he take off the rose-colored glasses and how will he deal with the reality? I know men from Turkey feel obligated to be responsible for everything and he is SOOO motivated and determined, but geez....I worry about him...sigh

Anyone else in my boat? Anyone already go through these or similar tales? Please share, especially funny ones!

Your stories can help those of us who don't know what to expect when our SO's arrive from Turkey to a foreign country newlywed.